A high school girl makes a TikTok with her girlfriend.
They are singing a love song to each other in the car.
It cuts to a picture of their first date; a picnic. A picture of them at a party. A picture of their prom; two dresses, two corsages, two wide grins.
I think of the New Years Eve Party, age 16, where I kissed a girl in the kitchen. Just for fun, I told myself. The boys whistled and groped, so we snuck to a room.
I think of the hosts face when she followed us, scowling, and kicked us out.
"We're not like that!" we pleaded, needing it to be true. I was red-faced and ashamed.
She made sure she wasn't seen alone with me after that.
On TikTok, a young girl wonders aloud if she is lesbian or bisexual. She is maybe 15.
The comment section is full of girls her age and younger, sharing their stories and revelations. Laughing with one another.
I think of the girl I would chat with late at night my Junior year, sharing links to music videos.
She types "if I was a boy, I'd want you to be my girlfriend."
I type "if I was drunk, I might kiss you."
I have not tasted alcohol yet, but I imagine it the sweetest excuse.
She sneaks out of her house, I pick her up in my car. We see late night movies and hold hands in the dark.
I hear the whispers the next week: "I heard she's a dyke."
I know what I have to do. I block her on chat and move seats at lunch.
I make sure I am not seen alone with her again.
On TikTok, I am shown everything that has changed.
Girls falling in love in class. Girls taking each other to the homecoming game. Girls breaking up, hating their exes.
Coming of age and coming out, all in one breath.
If I was born a decade later, I think, everything would have been different.
I think of all the decades that came before me, and I weep.
I think of all the decades that will come after, and I weep.
This time, though, it is for joy.
izzy806
ellievsbear
pixelskylines
areudirty
baratheonpilled
dailybridgerton
