IDEA IDEA IDEA WHAT IF NOW HERE ME OUT
BUT AGE REGRESSION LITTLE EDDIE DIAZ
Now warning im still learning writing so my writing might not be good and there will be inconsistent grammar and punctuation i apologize 😔
It honestly makes sense if we take in the idea that Eddie was parentized when he was a child and he had Chris young and went to war. when would he have had a real chance to be a kid
So like, picture he's talking to Frank, his therapist and Frank suggests he tried age regression as a coping mechanism to try out and at first Eddie is opposed to it y'know after frank explains what age regression is Eddie just like laughs maybe and doesn't take it seriously
This isn't the first coping mechanism Frank has suggested he try and Eddie has tried the other coping skills and stuff with various outcomes like it's trial and error to find something that helps a lot of it just unfortunately didn't stick but Eddie admits that the trial and error isn't a waste when it did help him
NOW FOR THE AGE REGRESSION
Frank just tells him to research it and give it try to do something as simple as wearing something cozy maybe or watching a kids movie maybe a kids movie he loved as a well kid just something small
Eddie internally scoffs at the idea but agrees out loud to his therapist that he'll give it a go. Frank tells him before he leaves that if he really feels uncomfortable by it then that alright don't push himself it should be helping him not hurting him. Eddie just nods and leaves, pushing the idea of age regression to the back of his mind and focuses on calling Buck to tell him how therapy went
Obviously pushing that thought away didn't work long term rip and Eddie does end up researching it and he finds a blog(?) maybe of someone sharing their own experience with age regression and how it helped them and anyways he's in the deep end and fights many a thought of what his father ingrained in his brain about ‘being a man' and battling his pride and shame cause “he's a grown adult” and whatever but then he gives in cause there's this pull a want to maybe not be the one who has to be all calm and in control maybe it's okay if he indulges and just color in a coloring book or watch an old Disney movie that he used to be obsessed with maybe it's okay to be small and want hugs and wanting to just not worry constantly about big adult things
Eddie wouldn't be less than it doesn't mean he shouldn't be taken seriously and it definitely doesn't make him a bad father, regressing isn't a bad thing
SO with all that in mind he gives it a shot when Chris is at a sleepover he's nervous and shaky but he puts on those soft cozy pjs he pops popcorn and he plays toy story he takes a deep breath and he lets himself go
He forgot what it felt like to feel so free
He regresses only when he's alone and he doesn't tell anyone well ofc other than Frank and each time he regresses he feels like he's getting smaller and smaller like he's fully entering a kids mindset but he doesn't let himself fully fall into a kids headspace because he doesn't have anyone who can look out for little Eddie so then Frank suggests telling one of his trusted friends of Eddie's coping mechanism and asking if they could maybe be a caregiver for little Eddie the idea is that maybe what he needs is to be fully little and if Eddie fights it on the grounds of him being concerned about himself when he's small (sue him he's a father first and foremost) then a caregiver might very well be needed
And that my folks is where Buck comes in
BUT FIRST Eddie denies telling anyone cause he still has all that internalized stuff that's not gonna be shaken that easily so it basically takes him suffering and maybe even denying himself regressing at all to try to trick himself he doesn't need it therefore what is there to tell anyone? Ofc repressing it hurts and he's tired emotionally and all that jazz and everyone notices somethings off but they don't know what and he's not spilling anything and obviously they're all concerned
It takes a call that ends badly that causes Eddie to start slipping; he can't help it. He's hurt, he's tired and gosh dang it he just wants someone to hug him and for someone to just take care of him to lift his load and say “I got you it's okay”
Ofc the 118 is checking on each other after that rough call when they notice Eddie's been quiet for a bit too long and that he's lagged behind looking back they see him standing next to the ladder truck still in his gear swaying slightly head tilted down
“Eddie?” Buck calls out his brow furrowing
Eddie's head snaps up at the call of his name, his eyes wide and glazed looking is the first thing buck notices
“Buck?” Eddie whispered so low Buck almost didn't hear it
“Yeah buddy uh it's me” Buck responded his worry growing he hears their family shuffling behind him along with concerned whispers Buck feels who he thinks Bobby's hand land on his shoulder
Eddie's eyes grow even wider, a smile quickly spreading across his face “Buck!!” he suddenly screams he leans his whole body forward his feet still planted on the ground so it looks like he's about to face plant causing the others to all move forward in alarm to catch him only for him to just bolt it's like Buck just blinked and Eddie had teleported across the room suddenly hugging the life out of him
Buck let out a small “oof” before automatically wrapping his arms around Eddie turning his gaze helplessly towards Bobby, Chim and Hen who look back at him with comically shocked eyes Chim even had his jaw dropped clearly none of them knew anymore than he did on what's going on
AND THAT'S HOW THEY FIND OUT
buck would know what age regression is cause he fell down the rabbit hole of researching coping mechanism so he could help Eddie AND IT PAID OFF WHOO
Anywhoozles that's the idea thank you for listening <33
janainaart
yousharknotpass
theartofmadeline
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