to be enlightened is to be free

Teddy | chaotic life sci major | my ultimate goal is to be a well-rounded nerd | main/musicblr: @pianistbynight

[studentbyday]

life, unplugged

“We got stuff done when it got done. ... Whole days passed without knowing the time once. By removing time pressure things didn't just grind to a halt and tasks expand to fill the entire day, the tasks got done with greater presence. Things got done with actual care and attention and no rush. I was probably more aware and engaged and present over the past week than I have been for ten years.” —Simon Clark (“Unplugging from the internet”)

I'm tired. I wouldn't necessarily say I was *burning* out because it didn't feel like there was much wood left to burn. I just...need a break. Change gears. Step away from social media...again because something I've noticed over the year I've had this blog is that I've been increasingly affected by FOMO and feeling behind whenever I'm engaging in social media. Even if it seems as if I'm charting a clear path for myself when I do challenges and post semi-regularly, I feel as if my path is less clear. I only regain that clarity when I take extended time away from social media, and I would like to re-learn how to maintain that sense of clarity for longer without soon feeling the urge to either numb myself by scrolling, or put myself on display because apparently my mere existence is not enough for me to feel real in a more cemented way if that makes sense*... This isn't exactly goodbye. I'm probably gonna return to tumblr at some point because I'll miss my moots and all, but I think these extended breaks should become a more regular thing for me.

*perhaps me currently being in that "i wanna make my mark on the world" stage (which sometimes becomes the more toxic "prove my existence was worth it" stage) is bleeding into everything i do...honestly, idk how to go about it, how to deal with it, whether i should scrap it. would not be surprised if many years down the road, i realize that i've been going about this whole thing wrong... but some things we only learn through experience. 🤷🏻‍♀️

not me linking my intro post here in case i feel like resurrecting it in the future bc i hate searching through my blog tags 😭

[maculategiraffe]

one thing I really like about my relationship with my boyfriend is that we can express negative feelings about each other's actions without assigning blame or requiring apology. I mean like for morally neutral things like "it drives me crazy when you leave a wet towel on the floor instead of hanging it up"

cause now like instead of "oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to drive you crazy, I'm terrible and unsocialized" or "um well that's dumb, who cares" it's like

"it does? I didn't know that. how come?"

"because it will mildew and I keep tripping over it and I don't know whether you intend to reuse that towel or whether it needs to go in the wash"

"okay so usually if I intend to reuse it I hang it up, and if it needs to go in the wash I drop it on the floor. I guess because I thought I shouldn't put it in the hamper because it would get all the other dirty clothes wet and then THEY might mildew before we do the laundry."

"that's valid. what if we have a specific place to hang wet towels that need to be washed? how about this one hook here"

"perfect!"

no hurt feelings, nobody being made to feel shitty and sloppy on one hand or uptight and bitchy in the other hand. just, we're partners right? let's workshop this

[chu-diaries]

i was tagged by @nelyastudies and @i-wanna-study to share nine books I want to read in 2025! thank you so much for the tag <3

no pressure tags: @zzzzzestforlife @winryrockbellwannabe @lostlibrariangirl @stargazerbibi @yangthejeong @iwillsurvivecollege @boredkitkulover @pxasee @huntressofartemis001 and anyone else who wants to join!

[studentbyday]

life, unplugged

“We got stuff done when it got done. ... Whole days passed without knowing the time once. By removing time pressure things didn't just grind to a halt and tasks expand to fill the entire day, the tasks got done with greater presence. Things got done with actual care and attention and no rush. I was probably more aware and engaged and present over the past week than I have been for ten years.” —Simon Clark (“Unplugging from the internet”)

I'm tired. I wouldn't necessarily say I was *burning* out because it didn't feel like there was much wood left to burn. I just...need a break. Change gears. Step away from social media...again because something I've noticed over the year I've had this blog is that I've been increasingly affected by FOMO and feeling behind whenever I'm engaging in social media. Even if it seems as if I'm charting a clear path for myself when I do challenges and post semi-regularly, I feel as if my path is less clear. I only regain that clarity when I take extended time away from social media, and I would like to re-learn how to maintain that sense of clarity for longer without soon feeling the urge to either numb myself by scrolling, or put myself on display because apparently my mere existence is not enough for me to feel real in a more cemented way if that makes sense*... This isn't exactly goodbye. I'm probably gonna return to tumblr at some point because I'll miss my moots and all, but I think these extended breaks should become a more regular thing for me.

*perhaps me currently being in that "i wanna make my mark on the world" stage (which sometimes becomes the more toxic "prove my existence was worth it" stage) is bleeding into everything i do...honestly, idk how to go about it, how to deal with it, whether i should scrap it. would not be surprised if many years down the road, i realize that i've been going about this whole thing wrong... but some things we only learn through experience. 🤷🏻‍♀️

not me linking my intro post here in case i feel like resurrecting it in the future bc i hate searching through my blog tags 😭

[studentbyday]

This is your weekly reminder that care tasks are morally neutral and there are no rules for how you should complete them.

The care task I probably struggle the most to do is to exercise regularly. But who says your workout routine can't consist of a single exercise? If that's all you can manage right now, then there's no shame in that! You deserve a body you love being in that doesn't ache all the time.

[pierppasolini]

Cowboy Bebop - Session #12: Jupiter Jazz (Part 1)

[lookupmedicalmisogyny]

Isnt it weird that hotel rooms provide toilet paper, tissues, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and ive even seen some provide make removal wipes, but I’ve never seen a single one provide pads or tampons?

[lemurchick]

Russian-speaking twitter had a huuuuge discussion about that last month I think, it was crazy how angry men were after just reading this question.

The arguments against varied from “hotels can’t afford it” to “you should plan your periods women, you have apps for that” to “but what if men eat tampons by mistake” (what???)

It really blew up and as far as I know quite a few workplaces began to put pads and tampons in office toilets. Hopefully hotels will too.

[lookupmedicalmisogyny]

Yeah i just thought about it when i saw make up wipes in the hotel i stayed in the other day. Like make up wipes are very much something men could accidentally eat yet they are okay to provide but not pads??

[electricsircuit-deactivated2024]

Men will see a hypothetical hotel tampon and eat it

[feministyaoi]

men will see a tampon and say is anyone gonna eat that and not wait for an answer

[magicmoon65]

Over Christmas we stayed in a hotel bc my grandparents couldn't host everybody. On Christmas Day, my sibling got their period and didn't have any pads-- or, had like 1 emergency one, not enough to cover several days. I needed to get gas and looked at the gas station, no pads. Stores are all closed. So heading back to the hotel I went to the front desk and asked. I expected to be able to buy some, they have snacks for sale and often hotels have other necessities for sale. The girl at the desk went into a back room and gave me 2 pads. If they had been for guests I feel like I may have been asked how many, the fact that it was 2 tells me that it was likely either her personal stash or MAYBE there was a pack for emplyees.

Peeople with periods get caught in a place where they dont have a pad or tampon all the time. Most of the time it's one day of having to ask, emergency buy, or find a way to deal. Having to be staying multiple days, especially over the holidays, without menstrual products is much worse. It is a basic necessity.

[maii-mp3]

January 12th, 2025. Sunday.

I did essentially nothing for the past two days. I feel like I probably needed that rest because today I did do (what for me is) a lot of work.

I was very, very stressed yesterday because I've got two tests next week, and I literally couldn't get the stuff into my head. I ended up just not working at all, and just planning my next few days (I need to cram small study sessions between my afternoon classes).

It's gonna be intense, for the next few days. I really hope I don't get as tired as I usually get and end up doing nothing.

I ended up waking up a lot later than I had hoped, and had to move the entire schedule for today like a couple of hours later than I expected, while skipping a few times I had planned for rest. It's fine.

Just this one more week, and I'll be done. Mostly. I mean... after that, I just need to write a couple of essays and do a few powerpoint presentations. I just need to get through this week, and I'll be fine.

Btw I bought a new candle and it brings me so much joy for absolutely no reason.

[zzzzzestforlife]

🧸D-1 days to (deferred) final exam but i'm still on holiday mode ❄️

it's always hard for me to get my sleep cycle back under control after a holiday, but this morning, i woke up feeling refreshed for what feels like the first time in ages! ☺️

🥚 breakfast

🧠 psych mock exam marathon

💪 yoga

📒 journal

🇯🇵 Japanese lesson

🧹 cleaning

🍚 lunch

✒️ wrote over 1k words for my novel wip!

📚 finished reading Diary of a Void

📚 read a chapter ofRemnant Population

📚 read a bit of The Sarashina Diary

🍲 dinner

🧼 even more cleaning

💌: i'm so excited to sleep well again tonight! tomorrow, i will finally finish this exam and then i'll be free(?) to start my new productivity challenge~~

[studentbyday]

today (and possibly for the next several days or weeks or idk, what is time anymore lol) i imagine i am a young woman in the 19th century studying for her degree by correspondence, far away from uni, due to illness... for once, romanticizing this way doesn't feel difficult because it's not that far off from my current reality! 😅🤧

during this time, i need to:

catch up on and get ahead in my schoolwork (please, i wanna get to the interesting part already 😭)

catch up on music theory (i was supposed to get through Ch 1A-3 in one week bc it's at least half review but i'm still on 1B! 🥲)

catch up on organic chemistry (i have not touched this at all, so i'm an entire week behind schedule. am i scared? heh. yes. but that's not gonna stop meee 🐵)

review cs50x content (i don't remember much of anything and i haven't done any coding at all since i finished the course in 2023 🙈🙈🙈)

it seems that human -> monkey as human gets increasingly unhinged and overwhelmed haha 🙈 it's okay it's okay, we break it down until it's bite sized 🍰 i might reblog with the breakdown for accountability bc i absolutely do not feel like accounting for myself rn 😅

[selfcare-journey]

What to do when you’re having a poor executive function day/been sitting in front of your computer for a few hours wondering why you can’t do your work: 

1. Take a deep breath - Let out all that anxiety over the project you’re doing so you can think clearly

2. Pull up a clean sheet of paper and something to write with - You can use a fresh word doc, new page in your journal or planner or whatever else works for you, the idea is that after this you will have a physical list to look at to help keep you on task.

3. Identify your obstacles (i.e. What is keeping you from doing this task?) - For example: Is it scary? If so, why? Does it feel too hard? Is there something else that you feel needs to be done first? Write these down!

4. Plan how to overcome your obstacles - This can take some creativity and some thinking to best figure out how to overcome the obstacle. I’ve included examples below for potential plans.

Example 1:

Obstacle: I don’t know the best way to approach this task.

Plan: Brainstorm on paper ways that you might be able to approach this task. Google ways to accomplish this task. Review lecture notes or example homework problems on how to accomplish this task. Ask a friend/coworker/classmate how they might start the task. Write down everything you feel might be relevant until you feel like you know where to start and where to go.

Example 2:

Obstacle: This feels too big and overwhelming so I don’t want to do it.

Plan: Break down the tasks into smaller, tiny tasks. Make them as small as you need to make them feel manageable. Write down all these tasks check them off as you go. 

Example 3:

Obstacle: I’m waiting for someone to get back to me with comments on this project but they’re taking too long.

Plan: Follow up with this person and identify what you can do without their comments. For example, if you’re waiting for someone to sent you a section of a project or paper, write your section to the best of your ability. Can you have someone else review this project and still get good feedback. Or tell yourself you’ll revise/edit your project and integrate their comments later when you get to them. Often when I identify what feels out of order, I can move past it or put it farther down my list so I’m no longer just stuck waiting.

5. Encourage yourself and commend yourself for filling in the gaps actively that your brain couldn’t do on it’s own today. - You’re doing a great job!

Sincerely,

A Graduate Student with Adult ADHD

[une-poire-confite]

🍂📦🍊🥨 - finally had a few consecutive days of leisure time,,, it’s actually embarrassing how often i frequent this cafe tho

notable moments this week:

🍵- got sick yay!! (sore throat)

🍵- finished half of my finals + late assignments

🍵- compiled study guides for all my classes

🍵- started engaging in the art of homemade hot chocolate

🍵- started a hunt for a very certain mug and saucer

[rau-studies]

only a week and a half left !!

[ebookporn]

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

[studentbyday]

“You're on the ride you're supposed to be on. Don't steer. Just ride.” -Caroline Winkler

[blitherdooble]

250111

song of the day: futile devices- sufjan stevens

not the most productive day today.

academics: completed next week's notes and half of next week's readings. spent most of my time revising physics.

selfcare: took a nice hot shower. then the hot water cut out. it was not pleasant.

tomorrow's goal: do last week's practice problems and get started on this week's problem sets so i'm ready before class. also need to prepare for my lab on monday.

notes: i, in fact, did not figure out my program and am still debating transferring.

[zzzzzestforlife]

weekend reset 😇 getting my life together 😤

i'm so excited to be done with this exam (D-2) and finally start catching up on my new courses for this semester 🙃

🍎 breakfast x catching up on my favorite productivity vlogger!

🧠 psych review (3x)

💪 pilates

🇯🇵 Japanese lesson

🍤 lunch

❤️ family time

📒 journal

🧼 cleaning

❤️ heart to heart with @studentbyday

🍚 made oyakodon for dinner!

👩‍🍳 started a notion database to keep track of all my recipes! after procrastinating it for a whole month 🌝

💌: i'm screaming internally, but imma pretend it's fine for now 😅