this is a mess @suasp0nte - Tumblr Blog

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

kitschyfemme

btw if you are friends with someone and you have the kind of dynamic where you can tease each other you also need to be nice. just so we're all aware. you also have to be nice with your words on top of it. like with your words. use your words. you should tell them with your words when you like something about them. if you are scared of being too sincere or vulnerable that is not an excuse to not be nice to someone. also you should work on that. ok are we all on the same page

lena-oleanderson

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

535pazzi

knocked the air out of my lungs

tobiasdrake

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

elodieunderglass

A wizard neither underestimates nor overestimates the number of hobbits needed for an equation. He, er, always has precisely as many as he needs to.

romanceyourdemons

is there anyone else up on the roof or is it just this fiddler and me

romanceyourdemons

oh hey there’s a cat up here too

scamguy

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

xenosaurus

this may be my age showing but I am a passionate supporter of wires. earbuds? put a leash on those things. wireless keyboard? no, it needs to hold hands with the computer. the ps5 controller I forgot to charge has the staying power of a wealthy nonagenarian with a much younger wife and 14 life insurance policies, but the controller plugged into my pc? that baby will outlive my bloodline. my ethernet cable is like a son to me.

#lg

the-big-mood

From what I can see it's real, its someone from Canada who trains rescue rats 🐀 Source below

241K Followers, 119 Following, 103 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Kuzko & Kronk (@emperorsofmischief)

#lg

dragon-in-a-fez

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

#lg

exeggcute

the sunk cost fallacy has been my favorite fallacy for as long as I can remember. so at this point it's probably too late to pick a different one

thatgirlwiththememes

I swear I get sad if I wake up and one is on the floor

cumaeansibyl

They are exploring under the bed! This is normal stuffed animal behavior, as they are trained to protect you from monsters and shadow creatures, so it's natural that they want to keep an eye out. Don't be sad, thank your friend for doing such a good job.

aquilacalvitium

gardengnosticator

friendship addicts will be like “i just need one more hit of your infectious laughter and zest for life”

stagefoot

Lighting designer: Take two giant steps to your left

Stagehand: I’m on a ladder. That would not be good

Head of lighting: Not you!

chipper-smol

How would you describe a dragon to someone who has never seen a dragon?

chipper-smol

"Horse but make it a lizard and give it bat wings and horns"

didnt know how to interpret "make it a lizard" so i wrote lizard and drew an arrow pointing to the horse so people know its a lizard. Also didn't know what bat horns were so I gave it a horned bat nose

"A body like a big cat but completely covered in scales, the head of a crocodile with the horns of an ibex, and the wings of a bat on its back"

On it boss o7, ive mashed all these animals together and threw scales all over it. This the dragon you saw?

"Take a lizard, extend the neck. Add a pair of bat wings to the back. Add horns and sharp teeth."

Seems like we're onto somethin' boss! Though idk how it'd be so fearsome bein such a small thing.

"Big-ass lizard with wings" "big lizard" "Giant lizard" "Big fucking lizard"

don't seem too special?

"Imagine a winged alligator that was 70 feet tall and aware of its existence"

i dont know if this is a dragon but it could definitely be some kind of god

"Dinosaur with wings and horns?"

Dunno which dino you were talkin about so i just picked a random one. Stegosauus :}

"Big snake with legs and horns that can breathe fire"

Ah. Hm.

"A dragon is like a tree, in that it's a made up category for a broadly similar type of mythological creature that has no relationship to other dragons, but you know a dragon when you see one the way you know a tree when you see one."

kingfucko

this is literally exactly like medieval bestiaries. a description which was game-of-telephoned out of an ancient account from somebody who might have seen the animal in question, being misinterpreted by an artist who has not seen it