[crippled-peeper]

todays the first day of Hispanic heritage month 🖤💕

[talkethtothehandeth]

and you all owe me $5

[dearbisexual]

U are not "rotting" in bed. U are resting, beloved

[cocainejuul]

[trashpandas3000]

Artwork by PaintDust

[theslowesthnery]

anyway i looked up the post about seeing your grandma's boobs and tumblr has deleted the screenshot of the story where the finnish dude says that americans are "like that" because they haven't seen their grandma's tits

good job tumblr 👍

[antarctic-octopus]

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[some-pers0n]

I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery

[some-pers0n]

People can't just say "I don't like this music" anymore they gotta call you gay and autistic for listening to a band that had one song go viral

[melynnwaters]

just gonna drop this here

[specialshinytrinkets]

[ID: tweet by T-Pain:

"I encourage everybody to at least (in private if need be) take a shot at doing something that you actually think you'd like but your friend circle has deemed it "corny" or "lame". Liberate yourself from the constant need of approval from everybody besides yourself and go have fun".

/endID]

[sheherlockholmes]

HAATEEEE hate actually. that overweight is considered a more pc nice term than fat. like i need the word fat to become destigmatized right now because im tired of people talking circles around trying to say chubby or big or plus size as catchalls because fat is a fine word. its fine. i know its been deemed derogatory by our culture but thats because being fat is deemed bad anyways but i think its a better word than calling people overweight like over what weight hm? what weight are you saying they are over. normal?? fuck you

[between-stars-and-waves]

[fusdoq]

Palestinian Dabke in a school turned into an evacuation center, Gaza. Palestinian joy is resistance ❤️

[butterflypeaflowertea]

they should invent a being in your twenties in which you do not feel your life is unsalvageable and ruined

[wheelie-sick]

people like to fearmonger about deaf children who never get cochlear implants/get them late never learning to speak and it's literally not a concern I have. I am largely voice off in public and it's fine. I'm fine. Deaf people have been living without speech since time immemorial we are fine.

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

Any post about how it's fine and normal to have sex with people that you are friends with will be full of comments like "but that's not friends then that's friends with benefits and that's not the same"

Why do you see sex as a benefit - a reward, something earned, something that can both lift a relationship beyond the limitations of regular friendship but also lessens that friendship to something more sinister? How does this impact your personal sexuality and self esteem?

Why do you think sex between friends must change or ruin the friendship? Does sex between partners do that? Do you really think the way YOU feel about sex, love, friendship, and human relationships is the ONLY way to think or feel despite there being billions of human minds on the planet? Do you just not believe people when they describe the way their own minds and hearts and cunts function because YOU aren't like that and can't empathize with how people different from you function? How is that different from conservative viewpoints?

[thesinisterspinster]

Is it amoral to bang your friends? Well no, but yeah sex changes the type of relationship it is usually for the worst. Why? Because people catch feelings from intamacy.. its built into our dna. If a friendship with strings (i don't really see sex as a benefit) it means one (or both sure) of the parties don't want a more emotional relationship they just want sex from their friend. That makes that relationship entirely contengant on the sex part. Like my question is would this friendship survive if you wanted to go back to just friends? Also i think their might be some confusion between peoples opinions and a deeply heald world view. Like i don't care what you do.. but it's gonna need like witchcraft for me to give up my celibacy.

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

"I think there might be some confusion between people's opinions and a deeply held world view" you say as you shove your own opinions about your own celibacy onto a post that isn't about you whatsoever, and then bring "DNA" into a conversation about social conditioning.

Your own feelings about friendship and sex are YOURS. I have multiple friends that I used to fuck and no longer do. Some are tumblr mutuals! @pearltiddys are we bitter friends or jilted lovers bc we haven't fucked in four years? Is there awkwardness? You fucked my wife, bro.

The real problem here is you people mythologizing sex, putting sex on this pedestal that makes it something holy and special because you all can't separate Christian fundamentalist social conditioning from FUCKING DNA LMFAO. I've said it a million times now but this post isn't to persuade people to fuck their friends, it's to make people think a little deeper about where these feelings and ideas come from so that you're not a pathetic tool when talking to people who live outside of conservative Christian rules. But yall are incapable of thinking outside of your own minds and bodies ever. You can't NOT be a tool! You have to!

If you are ruining relationships over sex, that is entirely on YOU and YOUR behavior, chump. If you are too pathetic to be friends with someone after they remove sex from the equation, that's on YOU.

[rebellum]

I have fun sex with my friends

Just like I have fun brunches with them, and fun days at the zoo, and fun partying with them. It's just another activity.

Sure, for some, sex may be this Big Thing, but it doesn't have to be.

If I wanted to stop having sex with a friend and that was most of what we did together, sure we may have to find something else to do, and if there's nothing else the friendship may eventually degrade. But that's the same as if I wanted to stop gaming with my gaming buddies.

"They don't want a more emotional relationship" often, having sex DOES mean a more emotional relationship, because it can be a very intimate thing. But it doesn't have to be.

"People catch feelings from intimacy" I mean, yeah, that's why we are already close friends. Because I love my friends. I already have feelings for them. That's why they're my friends.

"Just want sex from their friend" sex isn't something I'm giving my friends. It's not like money, or status. It's a fun activity we do together. Like playing co-op stardew valley but with fewer crops (munchmunch) and more crops (wh'tishhh [whip noise]).

"Sex changes the type of relationship usually for the worse" and "that makes that relationship entirely contingent on the sex part." Sounds like a skill issue.

[wearenotjustnumbers2]

This is Rafah, The "safe" zone, where 1.5 million Palestinian fled to. You have to understand, what bombing Rafah means.

Please don't look away, while everybody is busy watching the super bowl, Israel commits one of its most deadly and openly genocidal attacks on Rafah. Please don't look away.

[adropofhumanity]

[beardeddetectivepaper]

[nicosnonsense]

I am Jewish. I am an anti-Zionist. I am always and forever pro-Palestine.

My grandmother was born in Palestine before Israel existed. My grandmother, who died less than a decade ago (in her 70s) was already older than the settler colonial state of Israel. Judaism exists without Zionism. Zionism goes against the Jewish religion. Zionism is white supremacy.

From the river to the sea Palestine WILL BE FREE