Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist

Eli. He/Him. 26. This blog is just an assortment of things that make me laugh and shows that I love. Icon by zai-doodles

[onion-souls]

Phenomenon is a great word. It means "Thingy" but when you don't want to sound stupid

[onion-souls]

"Thingy (possibly happening?)" Vs. "Thingy (possibly dude?)"

[onion-souls]

Anomaly is another great one: "thingy (???)"

[errorschacha]

The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.

[swagophile]

my friend: yeah so this is my dog-

me: #MyDog. sorry, continue

my friend: you're always so rude maddie. god. anyways as i was saying, this is my dog, weve been together for 2 years now, its been a great time

other friend: howd you two meet? youre cute together

my friend: well, i went to a bar and we hit it off then and there, took her home and, she's been my puppy-

me: #MyPuppy. Keep going sorry.

my fri- owner: you're not getting any treats tonight. you're going in the kennel

me: [whiiiiine] so you want me to kill myself? #MySelf?

my owner: no maddie i want you to behave

me: yes ma'am....

other friend: god shes well trained isnt she? i swear if my partner-

me: #MyPartne- ACKKFKSKFMDF [gets shocked repeatedly by my collar]

other friend: so thats how you do it huh

#MyOwner: yeah shes my bitch. HASHTAG MY BITCH.

me: tthh- [bzzt] aank [BBZKZK] yyou,,,, [BZZZZTT]

[sneefsnorf]

im gods weakest faggot

[crabussy]

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

[cedar-scars]

im gods most literate cat can i join

[nightmarebluntrotationofhistory]

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

[pinkfire-chacarera]

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

[gg-is-a-loser]

wobbuffet

[savrenim]

......suddenly struck by the idea for a piece of worldbuilding of "fae don't like iron bc it is the most stable element*"

*as in elements higher you can extract energy via fission and lower you can extract energy via fusion but iron itself there is no excess binding energy to extract at all

[savrenim]

YOU. YOU SEE MY VISION.

[ospreyonthemoon]

People: exposure to the fae realms makes you weak and sickly. Because of the fae

The fae: wow wow wow i LOVE uranium!!!! We should put it ALLLL over our land!!! This won't cause problems!

[inber]

hate it when you see something in media that has great kink potential so you skedoodle post-haste to ao3 only to discover there's none fic left beef and then you have to sit there going oh I see I'M the pervert weirdo I'M the problem with society and everyone else in the world is going to heaven with a hundred innocence dollars preloaded onto their ole fashioned wholesome funtimes themepark fast pass card like fuckin oath man

[edwardashley]

#particularly when its something you're not even actually into but its just so Obvious how could it Not be on ao3#but then it isnt. do you have a duty to place the fic in its rightful ecological niche just because you have the vision?#do you have to track down a perv of the appropriate disposition and gift it to them?#do you leave well enough alone even though you can See the absence like a wound in the side of Truth?

[hypotenussy]

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

[thecharmingquirksofothers]

incredible prev tags

[goshkanani]

[geocaprican]

[nattousan]

i'm in agony, SOMEbody please help me remember what the childhood book series was that centered around critters that looked like this:

IM IN HELL WHAT WAS IT

[hrrkikshoard]

Little Critter?

[nattousan]

THATS THE BITCH

[nattousan]

alright smart-aleks, what about THIS one huh?? the dude had a really cool shading technique where he just swirled (colored pencil?) around??

[cosmignon]

Parts :)

[nattousan]

YOU GUYS ARE TOO GOOD AT THIS WHAT THE HELL

[nattousan]

ok my partner wanted in on this, I have no idea what this is

[thecrabscycle]

I GOT YOU

[nattousan]

i'm never leaving this fucking site i stg i love you all.

OK

final one

for all the marbles,

this one doesn't have an illustration bc i think it was just a kids novel but i haven't been able to find ANYTHING about it on my occasional internet queries:

kids is staying with his (grandmother?) in the woods and she warns him not to look a fox in the eyes bc they're tricksy and will swap places with you. obviously that's the first thing the little boy does and gets body snatched by a fox who uhhhh proceeds to pig out with his new little boy human hands and the boy has to trick the fox into looking him in the eyes again to switch back...

thats all i got, it's an older book i wanna say from the 60's?? 70's?? kinda the same jist of "Little Rascal"

[dyketennant]

perhaps this?

[nattousan]

A DECADE OF SEARCHING THANK YOU @dyketennant IM ORDERING THIS IMMEDIATELY

[nattousan]

ok i lied i'm back bc this is fun and i get to share some of my most deeply cherished childhood books with you all

i cannot express how much these are from memory, that's how internalized these artists and writers have become, they're a part of me now

[cryptid-of-ohio]

The first one looks like The Spider and the Fly, though the poses are a bit different.

The second one is likely Stellaluna.

I’m not sure about the third one, I will keep searching.

[cryptid-of-ohio]

I think I found the third one, though I’m the least confident about this one. Is it Creature Tech?

Unfortunately it doesn’t have a praying mantis on the cover :(

[nattousan]

[water-weaving]

i was looking for special cat feeders because ours are gluttons who gorge themselves and i found this one...device:

this sounded fun so i checked the comments and...

[water-weaving]

im??

[water-weaving]

come to the dark side we have dry food scattered in strategically designed green colored plastic tubes

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is

[gardenofeden5457]

.world's largest excavator- nay, world's largest vehicle- the bagger 288

.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter

[iguanamouth]

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

[thetyrannosaur]

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

[skiingcows]

#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[greedysadistdaddi]

This blog is anti chatgpt and pro breeding kink without the pregnancy part

[theweirdwideweb]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[vigilantsycamore]

eeby deeby... i haven't heard that name in years...

[digitaldiscipline]

[were--ralph]

im not a furry but recently ive been thinking about what if there was a global outbreak of a virus that transforms you into your fursona? so i made one just in case. not because im a furry (im not) but just ouf of safety if i need one in a pinch. he's very cute and fluffy btw

No yeah that makes sense like you always have to be prepared

[roseoilz]

translucent fabric sculptures by korean artist do ho suh

[teaboot]

FABRICCCCCC?!??!?!?