Variety Hour

Stuff I pick up. Hoarding pronouns, in my twenties. If you can guess one of my niche interests you get a rant about it. @sauceway.bsky.social on Bluesky Please do not contact me for donations, I do not have the means to verify whether or not you are a scam. I will donate to and reblog links posted to blogs that can verify donation campaigns.

[gulano]

Pokémon Adventures: Black & White chapter 40

[atomikats]

my personal take on the matter

[deepfrieddeltarunememes]

shoutout to the Manly Mandanna actually belonging (in Deltarune, at least) to a little girl that just wanted to be seen as tough and brave and probably drew the abs on it herself

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[koobiie]

i feel strongly about this

[ailurinae]

[edibleteef]

​they were a little annoying cause I wanted to just read what the actual audio was saying, but i do miss when community subtitles existed and they made jokes and used emoticons and stuff.

[dogpuppy]

[rabbitkinglune777]

cool. another black child died in a hate crime

[rabbitkinglune777]

South Carolina jury finds store owner not guilty of murder in killing of Black teen | CNN

A South Carolina jury on Monday found a store owner not guilty of murder in the 2023 shooting of a Black 14-year-old.

apparently the murder happened in 2023 after doing some research but the murderer has been found not guilty.

black children get murdered and become victims of hate crimes every fucking day. this is ridiculous

[rabbitkinglune777]

im posting this here despite the website being extremely white centered, I want people to understand how in this country it's basically ok to murder and victimize black people, especially women and children in the name of "self defense" and white America will reward you for your antiblackness.

[puppygirllaika]

For anyone reading the headline and not the article: While the prosecution claims the store owner incorrectly believed the black child in question (Cyrus Carmack-Belton) had shoplifted a few bottles of water (no evidence of this supposed shoplifting was found), and the defense claims that the child had threatened the store owners son with a gun (no evidence of Cyrus using the gun or threatening anyone was found), either way the store owner chased the child down the street more than 130 yards, and shot him in the back as he ran away. He chased a black child down the street, and shot him in the back.

Cyrus would have started high school at the end of that summer. He would have been 17 today. He wanted to be a tattoo artist.

[effiecalvin]

I have this idea for a video game called Are You Out There? where two players control two different alien civilizations and the goal of the game is to invent spaceflight and then manage to find one another in a ginormous universe. You can try to leave signs for each other to find, or send out probes and radio waves, or colonize many systems so you're a bigger target, but its hard because the universe is really big.

Idk just a thought.

[egberts]

the world's smallest carnivore is called the "least weasel" 😭😭 i'm dying but like if it's the smallest carnivore then it sure is the least amount of weasel you can have 😭😭😭

[sator-the-wanderer]

Look at him: this is absolutely the least amount of weasel you can have

[daughterofsarenrae]

To really put it in perspective

[flootzavut]

Immediately I love him

[detectivehole]

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

[detectivehole]

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

[qqueenofhades]

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

[flavinbagel]

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

[theterriblethingabouttulio]

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

[kat-witha-k]

This is fucking insane

[brightlotusmoon]

[mod2amaryllis]

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[nateconnolly]

These days, lots of public libraries have a "library of things" collection where you can check out kitchen appliances or yard tools or toys, and, as a children's library assistant, the most popular library of things item that I handle regularly is a plastic scepter thingy called like "unicorn princess magic wand". And whenever I check it out I make a big show of looking at the little kid and being like "do you solemnly swear to use your unicorn princess magic powers only for good and never for evil?"

And pretty much without fail, the little kid will get the world's most mischievous grin and go "I'm gonna use it for EVIL!!!"

[bearsockz]

home cooked meal

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

Why is there a diarrhea parasite outbreak in America?

Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to disease prevention and control.

Why is measles back in America?

Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including RFK Jr, cut vaccine and measles prevention funding and programs.

Why is the New World Screwworm infecting cattle in Texas, when it had previously been eliminated from the area?

Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Elon Musk, cut USAID funding, which in part worked to monitor and prevent screwworm outbreaks.

Why was there a flu outbreak in our armed forces?

Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Pete Hegseth, cut vaccination requirements for our armed forces, putting all of them at risk alongside our military readiness.

What contributed to the Covid outbreak?

Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to a pandemic prevention program in his first term because Barack Obama had created it.

“America first” sends its regards. Trump voters, please learn your lesson. And if you don’t, it’ll be taught to you again with yet another diarrhea outbreak.

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

[hydro-homies]

Imagine being the only person alive who can say this

[nevercure]

buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”

[quasi-normalcy]

Concept: You have magical powers, but all of your spells need to be cast in rhyme. If the metre is wrong, it won't work. If the rhyme almost rhymes but not quite, it won't work. You can reuse the same constructions and just substitute in new names as needed, but the more you do this, the less powerful it will be. Simple cantrips can be basic rhyming couplets, but the more complicated your spell, the more elaborate your poetical structure needs to be.

[quasi-normalcy]

Wizard duels, obviously, are just rap battles.

[vitariesocks]

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

[vitariesocks]

2 pics. no caption

[phantomrose96]

I think my most compact and simplified view on all this is that tech ventures spent about a decade between 2011-2021 willfully bleeding money in order to assert themselves as Good Guy:tm: science visionaries who wanted to revolutionize day-to-day life with technology. They were rolling out reliable, easy, order-from-your-phone Uber rides that were cheaper than scammy taxis. They gave you Twitter as a public square where everyone could be heard, not just the elite. They gave you Netflix over clunky, corrupt cable packages. Google had the "don't be evil" motto (which is a hilarious thing to do away with, like, well we're evil now sorry :( )

Then for the last 5 years (huge interest rate hikes, tech stock drop-off scare in 2022, US regime change in 2025, blah blah blah) they snapped the trap and decided to activate the money machine, which is rampant enshittification and bleeding everyone dry with higher baseline costs and forced subscription costs and forcibly app-ifying every single thing (needs a login needs a credit card needs an id nees a ) and backing pretty far away from the "your good relatable buddy" tech CEO image. Like it's been the world's most blatant and annoying pig-butchering scheme.

But, they're also rolling out AI like we're still in that 2011-2021 era of "we're your buddies revolutionizing your life with wow-worthy technology." They're shoving AI under our noses going "remember when you LOVED new technology? you love this, right? you love this? you want this? you want this?" and they're not getting why so many people are bristling and do not trust a single word out of their mouths.