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Cosimo Galluzzi
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@susfishius
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I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it
I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally
Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere
Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh
They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them
Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it
Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it
Fantasy setting where every species of animal has One Fucked Up Trick exactly like in medieval bestiaries (e.g., panthers hypnotising their prey with sweet breath, pelicans reviving the dead with their willingly shed blood, etc.), except these are actually learned magic spells passed down from parent to offspring, so different populations of the same animal in different regions might have a different spell.
(If a species is domesticated you can teach it any spell you want, as long as you start 'em young enough; every breed of dog has a different "standard" spell, and knowing the "wrong" one is considered both a grave departure from breed standards and a potential violation of animal husbandry ethics.)
was thinking about how the concept of god is usually characterized as male (thanks patriarchy) and i came up with a question: in christian theology,
does "God" have a penis?
surely the catholic church made some sort of ruling on this
stop derailing with Jesus's foreskin, this post is about God's genitals ONLY
Hi, Catholic hereāthe only part of the holy trinity with a human body is the Son (Jesus) so yes, but also God the Father doesnāt have a human body so no, but the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are all the same being as well so yes, but all humans including women are created in the image of God so hypothetically He has everything else too. Hope this helps.
thank you it did not!
Using he him pronouns doesn't necessarily indicate having a penis does it gaudy
see that's gender studies 101 but i wanna force the catholic church to ADMIT it
Also for what it's worth Catholic God doesn't use he/him. He uses He/Him which theologians insist is distinct from human pronouns.
so the catholic church wants you to respect their god's neopronouns
For context,
Torment Nexus : "an idea that is so bad and dangerous in theory and practice that its indistinguishable from capitalist satire".
Luddite event : After the creation of textile machines (which produced fabric at a lower quality but faster rate while being dangerous to operate), textile mills fired a huge amount of their workforce leading to the remaining workers becoming overworked. A Luddite event thus in this context is "an innovation that is exaggerated to excuse mistreatment of the workforce".
myth: astrology doesn't work
fact: astrology used to work perfectly and apparent planetary motion corresponded exactly (+/- 0°0'1") to the progressions of life on earth, until the advent and subsequent ubiquitous adoption of the radio wave introduced so much noise into the ionosphere that communications between the heaven and the earth were irrevocably scrambled; now, astrology still technically works, but it plays out in such a high-entropy set of events (see: pseudorandomness) that it has become functionally indistinguishable from free will.
I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?
it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction I was looking for.
so my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I had a lot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didnāt fit with the aesthetic. I had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.
this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, youād expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - Iām all for most classic rock, but that wasnāt what the show was supposed to be.
And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just didnāt fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason I kept the show going. Per station rules, I had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before I cut to one I was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listenerās request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, I decided to do a goof. I said:
āand finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.ā
I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, I had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.
And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!
they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call. I had never understood why some people would enjoy trolling random strangers on the internet before, but in that moment, I understood the appeal entirely.
obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Donāt Stop Me Now by Queen David Bowie.
the phone immediately began to ring.
āARE YOU AN IDIOT?ā one of the callers began, āDAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!ā
āI thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?ā I replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure.
I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start.
And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born.
@eduards-stuff I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format I started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.
My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what I was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. I only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while I got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:
me: hi there, youāve got TST-
him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter*
me: hey, is everything o-
him: pfffHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM!
me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.
Coco likes her puny mortal arms just fine THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Appreciation post for the aquariums in Super Mario 64. Miffed you couldnāt jump into them
themessangerpigeons
Tears
WELCOME BACK
once you recognise the ubiquitous and inevitable fandom life cycle it becomes much easier to free yourself from it and just keep enjoying things in a more healthy way while still thinking critically about them
You actually cannot skip to being good at a creative endeavour that you haven't put much practice into. You cannot trick your way out of the 'knows that your work is not what you want it to be but don't know how to improve it' stage by planning or reading or talking about it really really hard. At some point you just have to craft through it until your brain finds it's own unique way back to the 'everything I make slaps' stage and be prepared to start the cycle all over again. You just have to make that project you're excited about slightly less good than you want it to be. (Says this standing in a pool of blood and covered in blood and also coughing up a little blood)
everyone stop reblogging this I hate to be reminded of my own good advice
I cant go to my local libary anymore because last year when I stopped by a librarian was reading a book I wrote under a pen name years ago. This book sold under 10k copies and I've literally only heard people talk about this book online *if* I went looking for it so I went up to them and tried to start a conversation like "oh hey I've heard of that book is it good?" Like hoping for some real feedback and she goes "yeah I love reading things by queer writers" and in a moment of terror I was like "oh but- hold on, I thought the author was some old hetero white guy?!" A thing I thought because I used my own dead grandpa's picture for the author pic because grandpa never had internet. I fake looked it up and was like "yeah if he was queer its not public?" And without looking up this absolute unit goes "oh the author bio is obviously fake. I'd bet my left leg the author is a west coast millennial non-binary queer who has never lived on the east coast." And then proceeded to rattle off a dozen linguistic flourishes that are specfic to the pacific northwest that are in the book and several that are nearly ubiquitous in the state where I said my pen name lives that are somehow completely absent from the book.
So you know. Got read for fifth and didn't even find out if she liked it.
just received the best text message Iāve ever had. from my mom
2 pics. no caption
I had to draw this beautiful lady
always some new bullshit in the ocean
Why is it always orcas or dolphins
Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once
worry not āļø they're doing coke
No No No! š Donāt take your hands. I feel so comfy. šš
HOW CAN SOMETHING BE THIS CUTE
But really, though š„ŗ
what's that one thing where they asked how ripely from alien was so realistic and believable as a female character in scifi for once and they were like "well we just took the dude from the original script and made him a girl and changed nothing else. it works bc men and women are the same?" and people were like "woah no way" and then didn't learn anything from that for 20 years
"how do you write such believable men as a woman?" "how do you write such believable women a man?" and the answer people who are good at it always give is "i just write people. were literally the exactly the same. do you think the opposite sex is some sorta totally different animal???" and people respond "woah that's wild. yea i do. and im not gonna stop thinking that goodbye :)"
Dorothy L. Sayers: Are Women Human (1938)
it's older than ripley
I've made this exact post like 3 different times atp but. It's endlessly funny when people (especially tech company people) treat Asimov's three laws as a legit proposed framework for Artificial Intelligence safety when like. Nearly every single Asimov story they're featured in involves something going wrong as a result of a robot trying to follow three three laws in a situation that makes execution of the laws ambiguous or contradictory. They're not a guideline for legit AI programming they're a plot device designed to cause problems due to interacting in weird ways with complicated hypothetical situations!
we've implemented the safety standards from the award-winning These Are Insufficient Safety Standards series of novels!