Swedeleesie @swedeleesie - Tumblr Blog

Brb replacing “I should” with “I have the option/opportunity to” in my internal monologue re: beating myself up over shit that needs doing. Let’s see if that works.

naamahdarling

It actually really did help and I did the laundry and cat boxes. Guess I’ll keep trying that one.

naamahdarling

THE UNEXPECTED SEQUEL:

“I should go do something useful.”

The flat statement offers no direction; it does not lead to action, only self-recrimination.

The implied judgment of yourself as not currently being “useful” is toxic. It tells you that you are being bad and lazy.

My mom died in 2006, but sometimes it’s like I hear her voice…..

“Useful” is ill-defined and an easily-moved goalpost.

The idea of people needing to be “useful” is the voice of oppression. Lots of -isms hide there. Including (Tim Curry voice) capitalism.

No really, literally this is the voice of everyone who has ever guilt-tripped or browbeaten you for not meeting their standards. Every parent, every boss, every teacher, every gatekeeper. It is the voice that harmed them so much they had to pass it on rather than reckon with it.

“What could I do to help myself out later?”

Is a dialogue you can engage with. Open-ended.

Properly frames any action as being helpful to yourself. It is a kindness. Kindness is important.

Sets you up to appreciate what you did later on when you say “Dang, that folded towel was real nice, made me feel real good pulling it out of the laundry closet. Thanks, past me!” Reinforcement!!!

Doesn’t put you on the spot right now. You could just as easily ask “What can I do an hour from now to help myself out later?” as “What can I do now?” You can give yourself that beautiful airlock time to mentally prepare.

Being helpful, even slightly, even to no-one but yourself, is better for the spirit than being “useful”. Capitalism doesn’t give a shit about helpful. It wants to use you, and it teaches you that if you are not being useful, you are by necessity, useless. Our culture, based on capitalism, implants this toxic mindset in us in myriad ways, and we carry it into our private lives where it does not belong and we weaponize it against ourselves. Never think that your value is determined by usefulness. Even when you can’t do anything, you aren’t useless. The concept of usefulness/uselessness is an idea that means a lot when applied to objects. It has zero meaning when applied to human beings. Expunge it from your vocabulary. Do not use it for yourself, or for others. Ever.

Fuck capitalism. Be a comrade to yourself.

Don’t be my mom. (Dead but also a bitch.)

winglessnymph

Oh… I could use the reframing to rest…

How could I help myself out later? I could rest so that I have enough energy for tomorrow’s big task.

I always feel guilty for not “being useful” when my body crashes. I’m keeping this.

naamahdarling

You know what helps you later?????????

🎊🎉RESTING WHEN YOU NEED TO!!!!! 🎉 🎊

It’s still an action you can take. Had to do it this morning to recover from sleeping badly. Then I did some important and helpful shit and I now have turnovers.

Here’s a bad picture of the bird using the pedestrian sign while I was out:

#Tänkvärt #Self care

notabled-noodle

last thing for today but …

it’s also okay if a disabled person isn’t trying their best. abled people sure aren’t trying their best every single day! so why should we, as disabled people, be expected to? why should we have to work our asses off every day?

my fellow disabled folk: you’re allowed to give up. you’re allowed to half-ass something. you’re allowed to take breaks even when you don’t “need” them. you’re allowed to conserve your energy, no matter what anyone else says.

swedeleesie

Thank you, no im not crying, my eyes are just naturally very moist.

#Ableism #Tänkvärt

murielsweating

I’ve been thinking about “you can’t pin joy like a moth” all day.

#Tänkvärt

natalieironside

The student loan debt thing got me thinking. Fuck the founding fathers of course, but "I am compelled to study war and politics so that my sons might have liberty to study philosophy and mathematics" is a great line and I think about it every time some fool starts complaining that life doesn't suck as much as it used to

natalieironside

"Kids today have it so easy!"

Yeah, Einstein, that's kinda the whole idea

prinxe-with-no-crown

and im pretty sure the second half of the quote is smth like "so that their sons might have liberty to study arts"

clockworkdragonffxiv

"I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain."

- John Adams

#Tänkvärt

tear-dropp-deactivated20241031

2023 is in 3 months and im still processing 2020

#Yup

So I never thought I'd be doing this.... But I don't feel like I have any other options.

I'm divorced and long term unemployed with mental health issues and 3 kids.

I really need to pay repairs to my car and last month I had a problem with my income so I recieved far less than usual.

Hence I'm here, hat in hand, asking for any financial help I can get.

ANY help is appreciated, thank you for reading this. Have a good day

Help support Lesley Fredriksson by donating or sharing with your friends.

#Need help #Please help

airagorncharda

Every person on this planet is one accident away from becoming disabled. Every person on this planet will become disabled if they live long enough. You are not an exception. Neither are your loved ones.

If you feel like disability rights aren’t relevant to you, remember that the only thing standing between you and being disabled is time.

kavtari

crowgram

I need this to live forever on my blog. It’s beautiful. This is the kind of quality content I demand from my internet.

valdiis

I am still laughing… I think I watched this loop a dozen times.

space-australians

still on a sort of unplanned hiatus because life, but please enjoy these chickens verbalizing my internal monologue

headspace-hotel

I’m screaming

secondalto

Why do I imagine him taking those to annoy Jamie with?

Can’t think of a single apocalypse or plague movie that anticipated the run on toilet paper.

pimentogirl

hockeyheart

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12683469

opaquestrategies

one of the best tips for Real Life that I’ve ever picked up is to always highball your estimate whenever someone asks you “when can you get this done by” by about 25% (if you can get away with it). that way, if it ends up being harder than you thought, you’ve got extra time to figure things out and if you were right about how much time it takes then you get to look like an absolute genius instead of just a simply competent person.

what you may not have realized is that I learned this crucial piece of life advice from an episode of Star Trek where Scotty is telling Geordi that whenever he told Kirk something on the Enterprise was at full capacity, it was always only ever a notch or so below full capacity so that Scotty looked like the god of all engineers when he was able to magically hack the warp drive to run a little beyond what he’d told everyone else was “full capacity” and honestly that one throwaway gag from Star Trek has changed my life.

ekjohnston

I have absolutely used The Scotty Manoeuver in real life. 10/10, would recommend.

the-exercist

No one is saying that you MUST have sex with trans people.

Or fat people

Or disabled people

Or dark-skinned black people

Or or or….

When activists say things like “It’s transphobic to say that you aren’t attracted to trans women,” that doesn’t translate to “You absolutely have to find a trans woman right now and bone down!” Instead, what they’re saying is “The only thing that all trans women have in common is that they’re trans women. They all look different, act different, think different, have different bodies and are at different stages of transition. There is no way that you find every single one of them unattractive. To specifically single them out as a group that you dislike is based on stereotypes and bias, not reality.”

It benefits all of us to take the time to examine our internal bias. Recognizing that prejudice and reflecting on it is a good thing. Maybe your sexual or romantic leanings will never change. That’s okay. But let’s not just brush past these things by saying “It’s a preference” when really: these thoughts are based on a culture of discrimination, stereotypes and bigotry. Labeling them as such is a reflection on that culture, not on your love life.