Falling

I slipped and fell but still haven't hit the bottom.

[swirlofstars]

Me: *venting about weight gain in ed recovery*

My therapist: “At least you have an ass again.”

[swirlofstars]

[amortizing]

“❝I have a very childlike rage, and a very childlike loneliness.”

—

[swirlofstars]

[swirlofstars]

[swirlofstars]

[swirlofstars]

[exitwound]

[2103lovexx]

People don't realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So, if you've done that today or any day, I'm proud of you.

[weltenwellen]

Rebecca Solnit, Hope in the Dark

[seravph]

WHAT IS A MOTH WITHOUT ITS FLAME? by a.dp

tag list under the cut:

@jean-louise-finch @larywitchlingacademic @dreamertrilogys @psychicdonuts @carfuckerlynch @iwishiwaschaotic @hydratedghostcamp @fuckyername @iimmortalists @teelise @horriblegod @gayngel @anaplekte @artemial @cuspofabreath @evening-primroses @myspacelolit4 @thefondestblindestweakest @tadpolejerry @63y35 @ovsilenceandwhite @gleekoftheweek @owlmylove @peoplehood @oww1ez @snooopyswaggy @ditzyoracle @skintwister-11 @thesewersof-paris @loveruns @theliarsaesthetic @anger-enthusiast @youngnorth @biseksualnaleia

if you wish to be added or removed, please do not hesitate to let me know :)

[lovveclub-deactivated20250721]

I can still make a good life for myself even if it isn’t how I initially imagined it.

I can still make a good life for myself even if it isn’t how I initially imagined it.

I can still make a good life for myself even if it isn’t how I initially imagined it.

[headspace-hotel]

I’m no longer satisfied by the explanation that there is no correlation between great art and great pain. I think that Vincent Van Gogh deserved to feel better and to be happy, and I think that he would have gone on to create many more beautiful paintings. But I take comfort in the idea that his art was about survival, that every beautiful thing he created was an affirmative commentary on the question, “Why live?”

The world hurts so goddamn much and I am so sorry. I don’t think pain makes artists great and I think that great artists got that way because they worked for it, but when I say that I mean they wrestled for the things they bring to light in their art, grabbing on tight to the miraculousness of light and sunflowers and living like they were drowning, because they were. And I mean that Van Gogh’s paintings all feel like they’re trying to save my life. This is beautiful, and it’s important. Beauty is important. Life is important. Light is important, and irises are important, and the color yellow is important, are you listening to me?

Pain doesn’t make artists great, but I think great art is always trying to respond to the question how can we stay alive? I think that’s an important distinction.

Depression will rot your soul in a way that will make you forget what beauty is and how to see it. When I was 17, I made a list of reasons to live, and it was like wading through deep mud. It fought me with every step. That heavy, aching numbness. It felt exhausting to write them down. Fireflies. The kindness of strangers. Libraries. Small birds. And if you understand the feeling I describe, you know that if you want to survive, you must become someone who sharply experiences the goodness of life. You have to dig your fingernails into it and drag it out of its hiding places around you.

This is about survival. Like when I say that this is great art, I mean that you can tell that there is something that is so so so important here, and that important thing is something like look, existence is beautiful. I can wish that Van Gogh had a chance to live a much longer, happier life, and at the same time be...cognizant? grateful? that his work doesn’t communicate Today I will paint cypresses but instead Today the world is beautiful, and I will live in it, and I will show you.

I don’t know how I got on this topic or why I’m so emotional. I can’t even tell most of the people that have saved my life; they are long gone. Thank you. For showing me.

[swirlofstars]

my body is barnacled with bruises that bloom in colors like sea anemone i waitandwait but they never seem to fade so i chisel at them with my bare hands until my fingertips blossom with bone

[swirlofstars]

Isn’t it fucking insane that I used to be happy?

[bakwaaas]

logically I know nothing matters and everything is temporary but emotionally I am crushed by the weight of everything that has ever happened to me and ever will happen

[swirlofstars]

you ever been depressed but then out of nowhere get excited about something random, like a new book or a cute shirt you like? but it’s been so long since you’ve felt like anything other than a wet newspaper disintegrating in a puddle that you just have to stop for a second and retreat, because the feeling is so foreign and wrong that you’re not sure you can trust it?

no? just me?

[cookiemessiah]

And the feeling crumbles like a coffee cake, the good parts, like java and the caffeine you take just to keep going throughout your day, disintegrate, disappear, the only remnant left a trio of the mugs you used.