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sximsoc

Apr 4

sximsoc

“i’m in love with my best friend

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 ”

pairing: prince ! mark lee x princess ! reader

masterlist

synopsis: princess of isle caliriel, you naturally become best friends with the neighboring prince , mark lee of eloweth. always together and hardly ever apart , however, a marriage proposal from another isle looms over your head. mark feels himself spiral as he tries to support you , but even you feel indifferent to the proposal , why is that?

word count: 46.9k

warnings: childhood best friends to lovers , major fluff , a little angst, suggestive , nothing major , first in the series but can be read as a stand alone

Friendship is easy, it’s a breath of fresh air and it’s a company one longs for. Friendship was also hard to come by, especially when you’re a part of the royal family. You are the crown, your life is the crown and it’s a title you must live up to. You are the eldest daughter of the royal family, princess of Caliriel of the Seven Isles. Your family, the Choi family, has been ruling the Isle of Caliriel since its conception. Your blood dates back generations of change and tradition. Being the oldest, your beautiful world is in your hands, something you cannot run from. So, naturally, it was hard to find friends. While local children run around and play in mud, you were learning how to run a country, learning your place in the world as a princess in this society. You had to rule, had to learn the ways of the treaty, the rules, the laws of the land, and how to keep the peace. The Isle of Caliriel was the peacemaker within the Seven Isles. Your land had a pause in time, a sense of security in its green blankets and a calm nature with the way the Earth breathes with the people. It was your land, your sacred land you had to learn to take care of.

The only other person who understood, was the only person you could call your best friend; Mark Lee of Eloweth. Mark Lee was a nice boy when you met him all those years ago, he was the prince of the neighboring Isle of Eloweth. Eloweth and Caliriel were close in distance and close in relations. They were close allies, closer with one another compared to the other Isles, so it was only natural that you and Mark became close, close in age and similar in the way you both wish to rule your Kingdoms. You still remember the first time you met him all those years ago, it was for your fifth birthday celebration, the one you actually remember meeting him instead of hearing that was the nth time meeting Mark. Nonetheless, you remember playing around with some village children on the royal grounds, the vines and leaves rustling around when you spotted a quiet boy standing off to the side. Your little feet coming to a halt as you try to catch your breath. Your little lungs filled with air as you don’t know what compelled you to approach the young boy, but you did.

“What are you doing here alone?” You asked as soon as you faced him. His little head looking up at you, sweaty as your one tied up hair stuck to your face in a mess. Your face flushed red as you stopped chasing your village playmates around to talk to him. “Are you not having fun?” You tilted your head to the side, brows furrowed as your little mind couldn’t comprehend why this boy around your age was standing off to the side like he didn’t belong.

The boy shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know anyone” He mumbled out, his voice softly spoken as he fiddled with his hands. “My mom told me I’d make friends and that I knew the princess, but I don’t remember meeting her”

“The princess?” You questioned as he nodded his head. “That's me! See you do know someone, you know me! Come on, let's play!” You exclaimed, not caring for his next words as you grabbed his hand, pulling him along to play with the other children.

Your parents watched in awe, noticing how you chased Mark around as he didn’t fully understand the game you and the other children were playing. The Queens of Caliriel and Eloweth gushed and beamed at how cute you and Mark looked playing with one another. The giggles coming out of you both as you slowly separated from the village children to play your own game. You both shared secrets, both talked about your families and made jokes about random things. Mark would mention something about Eloweth and you’d look at him like he was speaking a different language as you don’t know what Eloweth was. Despite going several times as a baby, your brain didn’t remember those visits, so you listened in awe as he spoke about his favorite spots and the magic well he swore could grant wishes.

“Oh! I want to grant a wish! I want my wish to come true!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, looking straight at your mother as you ran to her, Mark running behind you. “Mama! Mark told me about a well that can grant wishes! I want to go! I want my wish to come true!” You exclaimed, tugging on her dress as the two Queens looked down on you with such soft smiles. Your mom nodded, telling you how one day you’ll plan a playdate to Eloweth soon. “I can’t wait, we have to go now!” You exclaimed, tears filling your eyes as you wanted to see the magic well so badly.

“We can’t go now, it's a three day journey, and you have school lessons tomorrow” Your mother explained, bending down to meet you at your height.

You were stubborn, it’s a trait you got from your father, stubborn and always wanting to have everything you wanted. Call yourself spoiled, but maybe you were headstrong and it came with a cost. “B-but, the magic well” You blabbered, fat tears threatening to leave your eyes, but you tried to keep them in as you didn’t want to cry on your birthday.

“It’s okay” Mark spoke up, making you look at him while your mother and his, looked at the quiet boy who spoke up. “I’ll make sure you get to see the well” Mark nodded, looking up at his mom who looked at him with such pride. This was the son she was raising him to be, true and kind. “Right, mom?” He asked, she offered him an affirming nod to which he beamed his smile at you.

“Really?” You asked, voice cracking you wanted nothing more than to see that well.

“I promise” He replied enthusiastically, holding out his pinky finger to seal it all.

You couldn’t help it, your tears were dry and your smile took up your whole face. “Okay!”

That’s how the friendship started. Years and years of visiting each other when possible, mostly at family events and birthday celebrations where you made sure Mark got the first invite. He was your best friend growing up, you saw the well and it was a frequent hang out spot between the two of you every time you visited Eloweth. While on the Isle of Caliriel, the castle garden was where you two spent most of your time on his visits to you. During diplomatic meetings between Caliriel and Eloweth, you two were supposed to attend, supposed to sit in and listen and take notes to learn the ways of how to rule a country, and yet the two of you hardly showed up, leaning that responsibility on your younger sister. The two of you would sneak off, hiding behind corridors and statues to hide from the guards who were after you. Every nook and cranny the two of you fit in was a new hiding spot as the adrenaline filled your bodies. The heavy footsteps of the guards coming after you, calling out your names as the two of you try to hide your laughter.

You still remember the day it was an important meeting for your families, talks about your Unveiling day, which was just a fancy way of presenting you to society as a potential wife to someone. It was an outdated tradition that was heavily influenced by the Isle of Aurethiel, you didn’t want to be a part of the conversation, so you convinced Mark to sneak away again. “Come on! I don’t want to be in there while they talk about giving me away like a cow” You complained as you both were in your room, you pacing in your dress as Mark sat on your bed. He was so comfortable, shoes kicked off and to the side as he leaned back on his arms as he watched you pace with his head lolled back.

“It’s tradition” Mark replied, trying to be a voice of reason. “Besides, if anything, it’s more of a birthday party than an Unveiling” He pointed out and he was right. The Unveiling was held on the person's 18th birthday, the day they are seen as an adult, ready for marriage.

“Still! Unveiling?” You questioned, completely perplexed at the idea of a grand ball being thrown in honor of you being of age. “It’s like they are offering me up as meat! I’m not ready to get married, let alone proposed to!”

“I don’t think they’re wanting you to get married right away, it's just a formality to let the neighboring Isles know that you’re open to it” Mark explained with a calm voice, the same voice that could always bring you down from the pressures of royalty when it got too much. When he noticed how you didn’t respond, but put your hands on your hips as you continued to pace in a dress that he knew was one you didn’t pick out, he signed. Standing up, Mark grabbed you by the shoulders to stop your pacing and held you still. “We’ll skip it, but if we get caught, I am throwing you under the well”

“You wouldn’t” You mumbled out, eyes narrowed as you knew that if you were caught, your parents wouldn’t let you hear the end of it.

“I will” He replied, holding out his pinky and you knew he was serious. Smacking away his pinky, Mark laughed at your stubbornness.

Suddenly, there was a knock at your door, letting the person know to come in, the door opened and your younger sister came in. “Mom said to come down, they’re ready to speak about your Unveiling”

You smiled, letting her know that you and Mark will come down soon. Your younger sister looked at Mark and offered him a shy smile. Despite knowing him for all her life, your sister was still shy around Mark, it was odd considering how much time he spent in your castle, and yet she looked at him like he was a stranger. Nonetheless, she nodded and left the two of you alone in your too big of a room.

You looked back at Mark with a smirk as he knew what to do. The two of you were quiet in your steps, slowly opening the door and you peaked your head out with Mark’s right above yours as you both looked for any guards that were out in the corridors. “Coast is clear” You mumbled out, opening the grand door more as you both carefully stepped out. The two of you were trying so hard to not make a lot of noise as you walked down the halls of your castle. Each corner turned was a risk that you both were willing to make, it was something you and Mark knew well. Years of sneaking off meant you knew each guard rotation, each secret passage, and knew where each vine perfectly hid your bodies. Still, it was always important to be watchful since by now your parents would have sent out a message to find you and the prince.

Gently grabbing your hand, Mark led you down the hallway, the vines covering the arches as you heard the familiar fast footsteps of a guard running to the other. Quickly, you pulled Mark in the opposite way as you both hid behind a pillar that held up the arch as you heard the faint voices of the guards. “The Queen has said to look for the prince and princess, they’re sneaking off again” you could make out their words.

“Cats out the bag” You mumbled to Mark.

“Let's keep moving” He instructed, waiting until the footsteps were further so you both could move again. Once the coast was clear, the two of you began moving again, your heels gently clacking on the stone floor as Mark’s shoes made soft sounds as it hit the floor. Your breathing was in sync as the Earth breathed with each step, bringing a bigger sense of anticipation of being caught.

A few more corridors and you'd both be free to the village grounds, unfortunately, that didn’t happen. The downside of the vines and flowers wrapping around your castle meant that a sneeze was inevitable to people who weren’t local. This meant that despite trying so hard to keep his sneeze in, when you and Mark passed a violet flower, he just couldn’t help himself. You could sense his sneeze as the hand he was holding tense up.

“Mark, don’t you dare sneeze” You whispered, warning him to hold it in. It was no use, he paused in his step as he let it rip. The sneeze echoed in the hall as you closed your eyes in pain at the realization that you were in for it.

Mark slowly turned around to face you, an apologetic smile on his face as he sniffled. You were about to tear into him when you heard the yell of a guard. “Hey!” you both turned around to see a group of guards running your way.

“Should we run?” Mark asked, knowing that usually, you just let the guards take you, but this time it was different. When you would usually say no to his question, this time you replied: “Yes”.

Your hand reached for his again and you bolted, Mark lagging behind as he tried to catch his footing. “Stop!” The guards yelled as you ran with Mark, the two of you laughing as you turned corners and tried to lose the guards. “Hey! Princess!” They kept yelling, wanting you to stop this chase, but you didn’t let up. You didn’t want to sit down with your parents and Mark’s parents and discuss gowns, decorations, food, dances, music and least of all, potential husbands that would arrive at your ball. It was something you disliked, sure as a kid the idea of love and a ball thrown for you sounded appealing, nice even, but as you grew up, you disliked the idea. Your Kingdom was more important than a lousy marriage out of convenience. Sure, maybe you’d grow to love the person you end up marrying, but is it so bad to want to be friends with someone first without the implication or the impending doom that you’d be married to him soon? You never enjoyed courting, you hated it. It was annoying and vigorous, it was tedious and time consuming. It also felt forced, unnatural and uncomfortable. Honestly, you blamed the Prince of Auretheil for your disdain of courting. He courted you as young kids, bothering you, wanting to go on dates, asking you out on dates in front of your parents during the meetings you had with the Isle of Aurethiel, even in front of Mark once. It was childish, so juvenile in nature that it put you off. If that was what courting was, you didn’t want any part of it.

Turning one corner, your feet came to a skidding stop as Mark’s momentum became too much as he equally tried to stop, causing you both to almost fall just a few feet away from some guards who noticed you two. “There they are!” They yelled, causing you and Mark to start running again down another hall, running so fast that you and Mark couldn’t help but laugh as you tried to escape. You and Mark reached a dead end, causing you both to panic, however you saw how the vines were hiding a door and if someone, like the guards, were too busy to find you, they'd never notice the door handle hidden behind the green leaves filled with white flowers.

“Quick, here” You called for Mark, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the small door, opening it up and shoving him in there first as you closed it behind you. It was a small hole in the wall, hiding you away from the guards as you could hear their voices conspiring to find you two. You let out a sigh of relief as the guards ran away while Mark was slightly hunched over with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

“Why…Why did we run?” Mark asked through huffs, standing up straight to look at you as you equally tried to catch your breath as you felt your hair sticking to the back of your neck. “We usually let them catch us”

Putting your hands on your hips, you shook your head, looking away in shame as you denied tradition. “I didn’t…I didn’t want to discuss textures and decorations. I don’t want to be courted and I don’t want to be a potential wife” You explained, the fear of being nothing more than a wife looming over your head.

All your life it was put into your head that you were a princess, a future queen, a future ruler, a person who had power. You saw the way your father and mother ruled and knew what you wanted to be, knew what you had to do, and knew you wanted nothing more than to wear your family's crown proudly. You wanted future generations to look back on your time as queen and know that you were great. You wanted to be great, otherwise you felt as though you’d be nothing. Being nothing was a fate worse than marriage, and you fear that marriage would cause you to be nothing. Sure, sometimes you wish you were normal, that feeling amplified when you were younger, a child thrown into classes to be wise and proper made you dislike the royal life until you got to sit in a meeting with the Kings and Queens of the Seven Isles. How your father carried himself, how your mother was a voice of reason, how your father spoke to people about his land, how your mother spoke about the families and how much they mattered more than the royal family. They spoke so highly of their subjects and suddenly it all shifted for you and you knew that this was your calling. Being queen, being the one to advocate for your people, that was the dream. So, you wore the responsibility of being princess, you wore it well, even when it was hard, even when you at times longed for normalcy, you knew it wouldn't measure up to being queen one day.

“I want to be a queen, Mark, I want to be something. I don’t want future historians to look back and see me as nothing more than a wife to some bloke king” You explained, your insecurity of being a speck of dust in your husband's shadow haunted you at night the more your parents spoke about your Unveiling.

Mark just looked at you, studying how your face contorted into displeasure at the mere thought of someone asking for your hand in marriage. How your dress was one you would never choose as you disliked the frills and fuss it had and how despite you being so out of breath, you looked so composed and spoke clearly like a queen would. Mark knew you were destined for greatness, he knew it from the moment he met you at your fifth birthday, he knew it when you saved him from almost falling into the well when he showed you it for the first time, and he knew it now as you stood tall with your decision. Your stubbornness, seeming as a flaw to the majority, was an attribute Mark relished in, one he loved and one he admired. Mark lives for how stubborn you are as he knows it’ll make well for a future queen.

“You’ll never be “just a wife” in history books” Mark stated as he used quotation marks. You looked over at him with little to no hope. He noticed and he hated how you looked at him like that, hated how you looked so defeated. “You’re supposed to be great, you are great. You’re going to be the greatest Queen Caliriel has ever seen. Being a wife won’t stop you, but if you don’t want to be a wife, don’t let them force you”

“Am I really supposed to be great?” You asked, an insecure seventeen year old feeling the weight of the crown on her head as her 18th birthday approaches.

Mark deeply understands this insecurity well, he knows it like an old friend and wears it like a childhood blanket. Outgrown and yet still feels like home. He can’t let you think like that, live like that or even believe that. You weren’t just destined for greatness, you were destined for so much more and Mark believes that like a religion.

“I think you can be so much more”

All you could do was smile, a sense of relief and assurance filled your body. Maybe that was what you needed, to hear those words come from him. Mark knew you so well, knew you inside and out and knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes. Hearing that you’ll be a great queen from your parents was one thing, it was heavy, it was like a mantra, a manifestation they had rather than a belief. Mark, however, his words held such power, rather than a manifestation, it was a statement, one he believes with his whole soul that it could be felt to the Isle of Mariethen.

“You’ll be so much more too when you rule” You replied, his own reassuring words echoing as your own. The same statement believed like a religion. “A true and honest King” You nodded, a firm nod like one would give their subject when speaking.

“You think?” He asked, a blush creeping up his neck and hitting his ears.

You smile, ease filling the air as the scene outside of guards rushing around to find you both disappeared from your minds. “Of course, it’s who you are. You have a way with words and I think that’s the best quality one can have when it comes to being a ruler”

“Are you saying I have a large vocabulary?” Mark asked, a teasing tone filling his voice as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Mark, you are the only person I know that uses “Pulchritudinous” to describe something you find beautiful” You retorted, calling him out on his use of unnecessarily fancy words to describe something.

“It’s an honest word” Mark defended himself as he shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s pretentious”

Mark let out an exasperated sigh. “As if that isn’t a big word”

“It isn’t!” You exclaimed, both sharing a laugh when the door to the closer was pulled open with string force. You turned around and both yours and Mark’s face fell as your father stood tall with hands on his hips with a downturn face looking at the both of you. “Uh oh”

“Uh oh, is right, young lady” King Choi replied with his softly spoken voice and yet it held so much weight. He looked between you and Mark before his eyes settled on your frame. “Care to explain why you and Prince Mark are hiding away in a broom closet?”

“Would you buy it if I said that Mark spilt something in my room and we tried to find a broom?” You asked, giving him a sheepish smile as that usually works on him. However, this wasn’t the time it worked.

“That wouldn’t explain why my guards told me that you ran from them after they caught you sneaking off”

You let out a small click of your tongue as you tried to lighten the tense mood. “Heard that through the grapevine didn’t you?” You asked, cautiously laughing in awkwardness as Mark remained tensed up behind you.

Your father signed, taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes before he opened them to look at Mark. “Prince Mark, your mother is calling for you. I do hope you will make your way to her and not run from my guards” Your father ordered, his voice quiet but you knew it could be heard for miles.

“Yes, King Choi” Mark instantly replied, bowing to show his respects to the king. Mark quickly walked past you, but not without a small touch of his hand on your arm, squeezing it to let you know that he’d see you later.

When Mark was out of sight, his footsteps a mere whisper in the corridors, you looked at your stern faced father with desperation. “Father, it isn’t his fault”

“I do not care whose fault or idea it was. What I care about is that my daughter isn’t at one of the most important meetings of her young life.” He explained, getting ready to give a lecture. However, you stopped him before he could go on as you didn’t like the current position you were in.

“Before you lecture me, can we do it when I’m not in a broom closet looking at you through vines?” You asked a joking question to ease the stern tension your father is bestowing upon you.

Even he couldn’t help but feel a smile crack at the corner of his lips. He too realized how he was looking down at you through the cracks in the vines. “That would be most ideal”

He turned in his heel, you following him with your head low as he held his high. You could feel the tension rising and the peacefulness of the castle being disturbed with your act of rebellion. Peaking to your left, you see one of the guards who was chasing you around giving you a curt nod. The nod was a signal, a sign that you shouldn’t have to worry, that the King, despite being upset, was open minded and willing to understand why you snuck off.

That’s one of the things you adored about your father. He was open minded, even when he shouldn’t be. Every time you snuck off with Mark, he was upset, beyond disappointed and yet, he constantly heard you out and tried to understand you. Even though he didn’t agree with your reasons 99% of the time, he still heard you out and let you make your case. He claimed it was good practice for when you advocate about your people, a good way to practice public speaking when under pressure as these conversations were based on how quick you could come up with answers to his questions.

Your father opened up the doors to the throne room where you see your mother standing aside with Mark's mom. Their heads turn to the loudness of the double doors opening to find you and your father walking in. You see your mom visibly sigh as she stands calmly and yet there was still a tenseness in her shoulders.

You gave her a tight lipped smile to hide your embarrassment, but it didn’t help. “Hey, mom” You mumbled out, acknowledging her and then turning to look at Mark’s mom. “Queen Lee” You curtsied to show your respect.

“My son tells me he put you up to sneaking off” She announced, her voice soft as she looked at you for more answers. “I’m assuming he’s telling the truth?”

“No, it was all my idea, I talked him into it” You corrected her quickly, not wanting Mark to suffer a consequence he had no right to. “I deeply apologize for the trouble I caused you all” Mark’s mom nodded at your confession, already knowing that her son was lying as he’d do anything for you.

“Well, now that that’s cleared up, we have to be headed back” Queen Lee said, the three of you instantly showing your respect with your curtsy and bows. As she was walking past you and your father, she paused in her steps and put a hand on your shoulder. You looked at her, your young face reminding her of a simpler time as a princess, knowing she’d do the same thing as you. “Next time, if you get caught, ditch my son, he will drag you down. Doesn’t know how to run properly”

“He was lagging behind me, but I can’t ditch him” You replied back, a soft chuckle coming out of both of you.

She hummed, gently patting your shoulder as her kindness melted into your bones. “You’re a loyal friend, I’m happy Mark has a friend like you”

“I’m lucky to have him as a friend” You replied back, her smile soft and wise. Nodding, she made her way out of the throne room, her heels clacking against the stone as you looked back at your parents as they stood watching you. “Am I grounded?” Was the first question that came out of your mouth.

Your father signed as he pinched in between his brows, a quiet annoyance you felt with him. You were witty, quick with responses and although that made great for a queen, it annoyed your father, as any father would be. He raised you this way, you are your fathers daughter.

“Yes, you are” Your mothers sweet voice spoke up. “However, we must discuss your Unveiling” You felt yourself groan at her words, your shoulders slumping over as your mother quickly tried to speak over your groan. “It’s only tradition! Listen, you can have it be whatever you want, any colors and any fabrics, really!”

“I don’t care what color it is or if it's silks or satin” You spoke up, your parents looking at you. Your father's stone faced while your mother was one of concern. “I don’t want an Unveiling. I don’t want to be seen as a potential wife when I am only eighteen”

“It’s tradition” Your father spoke up.

“So I’ve heard” You exclaimed, your voice tired as it let out more breath. You signed, closing your eyes as you took a few steps closer to your parents. “I love our Kingdom and its tradition, but I cannot let myself be seen as a mere wife when I am supposed to be a queen one day” You explained with sincerity, trying to convey your words without hostility.

“No one sees you as a wife!” Your mother exclaimed, her tone exasperated as she wanted to get through to you.

To your mother, the Unveiling was more than what tradition called it. To her, it was a celebration, a way to present you to the world, not as a potential bride, but as a future Queen. It was a way to fully integrate you into society, formally introducing you as the next Heir, the next in line and a working monarch in the Seven Isles. It was also a way for her to see you as a grown up, or someone trying to grow up and mature. To her, it was something she’d been dreaming of seeing, you in a dress that signified your coming of age, dancing around with your friends and potential suitors from neighboring Isles, watching you run around and sneaking off with Mark as she assumed you’d do, and of course, just watching you smile with glee at the introduction of you, Princess of Caliridel, future Queen Choi. It was an honor to have an Unveiling and while yes, it had its problematic undertones and past, to your mother it didn’t negate the newer meaning it had in recent society. Your mother wanted nothing more than to have a reason to throw you a ball in your honor. You could see the want, the longing, the itch to go to your fitting, be a part of the planning, the fuss of it all, your mom wanted to be a part of it.

Your mother gently approached you after noticing your resolve falling. Her hands gently cradled your face like you were a porcelain doll. So fragile, so young, so sweet and peaceful. “You are going to be a great Queen one day. You’re going to be the glue, the peace, the one the future kings and queens turn to. The Isle of Aurethiel might have the gold, but you my darling, you are your people. You are going to rule with such grace like I’ve raised you to. Your father and I are so proud, this Unveiling is so much more than a party with kingdoms and their subjects, it’s a way to introduce you to society. I get to brag about what a beautiful daughter I have and your father gets to talk politics with his friends while including you into the conversation”

Her words struck a chord in you, something you didn’t know you had. A sense of pride, almost, a sense of responsibility. You knew the Unveiling was something you had to do, something a responsible princess would do without question. Maybe it was a shift of waiting to be different and rebel, change the royal life to not being complicit, but changing the meaning within the system. Adapting, changing, and living, that’s what you realized when your mother spoke. You knew and understood your place in the world, knowing you’d do anything for your people, you’d lay down your life for them. This Unveiling was a way to do that, you are a product of your mother and father, but also a product of your Kingdom and its people. You are your people and you are going to show the Isle’s who Caliriel are.

That is the only reason you say, “Okay, I’ll do it’

And that's how you end up here, in your silky sage green dress that reminds you of the enchanted forest your Kingdom resides in. The subtle embellishments of sparkles catches the light from the chandelier and reflects shimmers that resemble the fairy light that hides within the trees. The subtle layers going down diagonally from your hip down to the floor reminding you of the flowing streams you used to swim in as a child, memories of you and Mark spending your days there. The servants in the castle did their job so well, rearranging the way the vines of your castle fell, the way the flowers seemed to shimmer a bit more than usual and how the floor sparkled like tiny diamonds. It was beautiful, soft flower petals falling from the sky as the natural ruins added to the comfort of your Kingdom. The bustling and chatter of the people from all around made your ears hum. The laughter coming from your mother as she brags about your dress and how your hair is done, thanks to her. Your father’s low voice could be heard as he talked about politics with the King of Sylveris and King of Mariethen.

You stood tall, the music numbing your ears and the performers played traditional music of your land. Your back was straight and shoulders were back as you peered your neck out to find the one face you wanted to see. You kept craning from the top of the balcony as you looked down at the people. Where was he? It was almost time to call you in and announce you to the world and he was nowhere to be seen.

“Princess, we’re ready for you” A royal guard announced as he stood tall with stiffness. You looked at him and looked back at the huge crowd in hopes to find him.

“Do you know if the Lee family from Eloweth came in?” You asked, looking back at the guard with a plea. You saw him sternly shake his head, he didn’t know.

You wanted to see Mark before you got presented as you could feel the nerves build in your stomach and your hands growing sweatier and colder by the second. You wanted to see him, see if he could ground you with his calming voice and wise words that were too large in meaning for you to understand. And yet, with his big words and a maturity you sometimes loathed, it calmed you, brought you back down to Earth, he comforted you in a way hardly anyone else could.

“Okay, let’s just get this over with” You mumbled out, heels clacking against the pristine floor that had been around for generations. Walking down the stairs to where the throne room and other balcony that had stairs leading down met, you stood behind the double doors with your heart on the floor, stomach in knots and a body vibrating with anxiety. You felt yourself swallow a lump in your throat as you heard the hushes and murmurs of people quieting down as a royal guard began to announce your name.

“The Princess of Caliriel!” He announced after your name, the double doors opening as you felt your feet move forward, head held high so as to not let your tiara fall. Your hands by your side as you entered the room, your eyes softly looking around the room as they applauded your arrival. They cheered for you as your hand came up to wave at them from the balcony, smiling with all your teeth as you made eye contact with as many people as you could.

You made your way down the stairs, people stopping you to congratulate you, shake your hand and pulling you in for a hug. You tried to stay present, but you couldn’t help the way your gaze kept scanning the crowds for his face. It’s like your mind and body knew he wasn’t here, or that he was and he was hiding from you, but all you knew was that you needed to see him. Mark’s presence was an anchor you never had a second thought of needing since he was always there, until now. Making your way through the crowd, you find your mother and father sitting at their throne, you walk up to them and join them with your sister on either side of your father and mother as they sit in the middle. Taking your seat, face the front as all the people in the room show their respects with a bow and a curtsy. Your father stands, holding his hand up to let the people know to stand again.

He cleared his throat as he began his speech. “My daughter is of age, how great is that. It is like yesterday, I found out my dear wife was pregnant with our child. And then, she was born, this tiny little thing, so small, so dear to me and instantly, I knew I loved her with so much of my heart. Then her sister came along and it was like my heart was split evenly into four as each part belonged to the four things I love most, my wife, my daughters, and my people!” Everyone cheered at his passion for the things he loved. You looked at the sea of people, noticing the familiar faces of King and Queen Lee of Eloweth, but their son was nowhere to be found. “I know my daughter will be a graceful ruler one day” Your father continued, catching your attention as you looked at him. “My wife has raised her right, with grace and dignity. I like to think I raised her to be a head strong ruler, someone who advocates for peace and for her people. My daughter" He said, turning to look at you, his eldest daughter. “May your reign be as beautiful and harmonious as you are” He looked back at his people and held his glass of wine high along with everyone else. “To my daughter!” He exclaimed as everyone else chanted your name.

The musicians began playing their tune, people mingling and dancing as you sat in your seat, waiting for Mark to show up from the crowd. You sucked in a deep breath as you noticed your mother staring at you. She got up from her seat and walked over to you, bending down to put a hand on your arm.

“What’s wrong, my love?” She asked, her honey voice infiltrating your ears over the loudness of the ball.

“I don’t see him” You mumbled out, your eyes scanning the crowd for what seemed like the millionth time tonight. “I see his parents, but I don’t see him”

Your mother signed, knowing that Mark was late due to him not finding the right gift for your birthday. It was just like Mark to be late because he didn’t find the perfect gift for his perfect best friend. Mark is a perfectionist, he wants everything to run smoothly, so your mother knew Mark had trouble finding you the perfect gift, the thing that’ll make your eyes shine brighter than the chandelier hanging above you. What he didn't know was that you didn’t care for grand gestures or extravagant gifts, you just wanted him to be here, his presence was enough for you. Mark could give you a leaf or a branch from the forest and you’d cherish it until your dying breath.

“He’ll be here soon, my love” Your mother reassured you, her hand gently stroking your arm in a comforting manner. She looked at you scanning the crowd, looking towards your gaze to see the crowd of Seven kingdoms and your respected people who got an invitation dancing around and conversing with one another. “Why don’t you join them?” She asked, looking back at you as you felt your shoulders slump. “Go, have fun. It’s your Unveiling after all” She reminded you, looking at her with a small smile.

You nodded your head, standing up from your throne to join the party goers. You usually hated this part, talking to others without Mark. He was a comfort, a way for you to feel at ease in a way. You and Mark were so attached to the hip that where one went, the other followed, it was a buddy system that couldn’t be broken no matter how much people tried. You remembered one birthday, it was Mark’s 15th and you two were isolated from the rest of his friends and neighboring princes and princesses. You remember the teasing of Prince Haechan from Aurethiel along with the laughter from Prince Chenle from Sylveris. Oh, how they teased you and Mark for sneaking off to enjoy each other's company rather than entertaining others. Their words are annoying and so true, “Look, the usual love birds alone. Chenle, you think they’ll get married one day?” Haechan would ask loudly with a playful smirk on his face.

Chenle would laugh as he nodded happily. “Totally. Look how they sneak off alone together every time. Even at the Isle gatherings they sneak off and discuss their own politics” Chenle pointed out, reminding Haechan of how every gathering where all the princesses and princesses of the Seven Isles gathered for bonding, a way for the Isles to keep the peace.

Haechan scoffed a playful noise, holding a hand to his mouth as he yelled at you and Mark. “Get married already!”

Yours and Mark’s head whipped towards the noise and saw the two playful princes laughing. You felt your eyes roll while Mark spoke up on both of yours behalf. “We’re just friends! Go back to fawning over the Princess of Lioralis!”

You laughed watching Haechan’s ears burn red while his face burned the same shade, maybe one darker. Chenle’s laugh was heard through the garden as Haechan smacked his shoulder and walked off. You turned to Mark and the two of you went back to talking about random things until your mothers called you both for the cake.

You heard your name being called and suddenly, you were back to reality. You turned around and sure enough, Haechan was standing behind you with a hand in his pocket and a glass of cider in his hand. “First off, happy birthday and second of all, you’re alone. Where’s Milk? Aren’t you two like always together?”

You rolled your eyes at his tease. “He’s running late. Why? Miss your crush?” You teased back, turning around to walk away from him.

“Hey! Just because Mark and I grew closer over the past year doesn’t mean I have a crush on him” Haechan defended himself, following you through the crowd as you smiled politely at people and he did the same. “Besides, you’re just upset because I’m stealing your best friend”

“If by stealing you mean annoying him until he gives in, then sure, I’m totally jealous” You replied sarcastically, reaching a small table filled with finger food as you grabbed a small plate and filled it up mindlessly, trying to keep yourself busy.

Haechan stood next to you, his body facing yours as you reached for things you don’t even like, but grabbed anyway. “Save me a dance, would you?” Haechan asked, making you sigh in annoyance.

“Why would I do that?” You asked, looking at him with an unamused look. Haechan leaned in closer, his eyes flickering right past behind you before looking back at you.

“Unveiling’s originated from my Kingdom, so it’s only natural for the Prince of Aurethiel to dance with you” He explained, making you roll your eyes, turning your head away from him, but he quickly grabbed your chin so gently to move your face towards his. “Besides, you look really pretty tonight” He whispered, making you freeze at his flirtation towards you.

You knew Haechan was a flirt ever since he grew a sense of self that blurred the lines between ego and confidence. It was hard to tell between the two, however, this flirtation made you freeze because while Haechan flirted with every woman possible, he never did it with you. You knew Haechan since you were children, just like every other Prince and Princess, but Haechan never flirted with you the way he flirts with other women. Your sister was a subject to his flirtatious remarks, but you? He never did it, you didn’t know why, maybe it’s because you never responded or gave into it which fed his ego, but even then, you thought that your disdain for him would make it all so much better when you did cave, not that you ever would.

You were about to respond when you heard someone clearing their throat, the noise making you turn around and Haechan letting go of your chin. You felt relief washing through your body like the sun peaking through the trees in the forest. You felt yourself smile as you saw Mark standing tall, looking between you and Haechan.

“Mark, you’re here” You said, a happiness radiating in your body as he smiled at you.

“Course I am. Couldn't miss my best friend's 18th birthday” He replied, a softness in his voice as he looked down at you. However, his mind was still filled with why Haechan leaned in so close to you, why his hand was on your chin and why was he so close to you? Were you and Haechan close all of a sudden? “Haechan” Mark said, addressing Haechan with a cold voice, one that made Haechan raise a brow at the coldness he was facing.

“Markie!” Haechan gushed, ignoring the cold voice Mark was giving him, rushing to his side and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “I was just telling our little Princess that she looks so pretty tonight, don’t you think?” Haechan asked, a playful tease in his voice as he felt the need to bring you and Mark together.

Mark finally looked at you and he really looked at you. The way your dress made your skin glow from the inside out, how it made your eyes shine brighter than any star Mark found in the night sky and how it made you look like you, not a potential wife like you were terrified to be. Mark looked at you and saw a future ruler, a Queen the Isle of Caliriel would be so proud of.

“You look great” Mark complimented, his real words getting stuck in his throat as he didn’t want to confess that you didn’t look pretty, that was too simple of a word to describe how you looked tonight. Mark felt himself gulp as Haechan let out a disappointed sigh.

“Thanks, Mark” You replied, still curious as to why he was late. “Haechan, do you mind if Mark and I speak alone?” You asked, trying to give him the hint to leave and annoy someone else or flirt with a different girl.

Haechan groaned in annoyance. “You two are always alone! Ever since we were kids it was always you and Mark, Mark and you. Socialize outside of each other" Haechan advised after complaining like a child. Haechan always called you two out on hanging out with only each other and honestly you can’t blame him because it was true.

“I socialize with Jaemin all the time” You defended, crossing your arms over your chest.

Haechan shook his head, humming out a small ‘No’, denying your defense. “That doesn’t count, he’s practically your neighbor like Mark” He pointed out, gesturing to a quiet Mark as he watched your easy banter with him. Since when was your banter with Haechan so fluid? Mark was so confused right now, watching you two argue and speak like an old married couple.

You rolled your eyes at his shifting of rules. “I talk with your sister too”

“She also doesn’t count, she socializes with everyone” Haechan shot you down again, annoying you even further and Haechan was enjoying seeing you all riled up. It was entertaining. “It’s so fun getting under your skin”

“Okay, Haechan, I’m gonna steal her now” Mark stopped you from saying something mean in response to Haechan’s tease. Grabbing your arm and pulling you with him. “Before she says something not nice”

Mark pulled you away from Haechan and dragged you to the other side of the ball room. “He’s so annoying! How are you friends with him?” You asked, grumbling all your words as the tease from Haechan got well under your skin.

Mark’s legs came to a stop after escaping from the crowd and pulled you behind a pillar. “Well, he is fun at times” Mark explained, watching as you raised an eyebrow at him like he said something offensive. “He’s a funny guy, when he’s not teasing you. Besides, it’s Haechan, he’s always teasing us” Mark brushed off your annoyance with Haechan, knowing that the more he brushed it off and changed conversation, your annoyance would go down and you’d return to normal. “So, how’s it going? Any potential suitors asking for your hand in marriage?”

You smacked his shoulder, his chuckle coming to a stop as he felt the sting from your hit. ”Not funny!” You chuckled out, making him smile at you. You signed, the easiness in your body coming back as the annoyance disappeared. “So, are you gonna tell me why you’re late?” You asked, Mark’s shoulders dropping as he hoped you didn’t notice, key word being hope.

Mark knew you’d noticed his absence, question it, wonder about it, and then in turn, be upset about it. Mark is punctual, he’s always on time, always there, always a reliable person. Mark is your person, he’s always there for you, from beginning to end. However, the reliance wasn’t one sided, you were there for him too. Every birthday party, every hang out he wanted, every break down he had, every time he came to you with a problem or something he just wanted to share, you were there. It was easy to be there for one another, like you both did it without a second thought. So, when one of you was absent or late, it was a cause for concern.

“No reason, just, I was late” Mark lied, his lie being felt through the two of you and he knew you knew he was lying. You two knew each other for far too long to know when the other is lying. So, it’s why you furrowed your brows, confused and a little hurt as to why he was lying to you.

“That's a horrible lie and you know it” You called him out, standing up straighter and trying to catch his gaze that he was purposefully avoiding. “Mark” You called out his name, his shoulders slumping as he finally caught your gaze.

“I was last minute gift searching” Mark confessed, a shy look on his face as you felt your lips curl into a smile as you could the embarrassment from him. You couldn’t help it, a laugh escaping your lips as Mark felt his ears burn red at the embarrassment. “It was hard! I was trying to one up you from my birthday gift you gave me” You laughed even more at his explanation, making him grumble under his breath for you to stop laughing at him.

Your laughter died down, a smile staying on your lips as you looked at Mark with such a soft look, one that spoke so many unspoken and unrevealed emotions you didn’t even know you had, was shown all over your face.

“Mark” Your honey-like voice catching his full attention, his dark brown eyes looking at you with such attention, like you were the only thing in his line of sight. “I couldn’t care less about what you get me, I’d be happy with a piece of parchment that says ‘Happy Birthday’.”

Mark shook his head, disagreeing with you and your words. “You might be happy with that, but I wouldn’t” He explained, the moment so intimate as you two gravitated closer to one another, not realizing how close you two were standing. “I want you to have the best birthday gifts ever because every birthday gift you give me is better than the one from the previous year”

“Mark, you being here is enough of a birthday present”

“You love my company too much”

“That is true, I do” You replied with a cheeky smile, Mark opening his mouth to say something, but heard someone call your name, making you turn around to see Haechan walking towards you with a huge smile, a knowing one as a soft song was playing. “Oh, Lords” A pained expression on your face as Haechan reached out a hand to you, asking for a dance.

“Don’t look like you’re in pain, you promised me a dance” Haechan announced loudly, catching the attention of a few people around you. You felt their gazes and the pressure of their whispers hitting you. “Come on, dance with me”

You turned around to see Mark, annoyance written all over his face, but when he looked at you, it evaporated. You silently begged him to do something, maybe interject and say he was going to dance with you first. However, he didn’t, he didn’t do anything other than gesture for you to join him.

“Go dance with him, I’ll see you after” Mark assured you, your shoulders slumping as you turned back to look at Haechan with a small polite smile.

You grabbed his hand and he looked so happy and excited to be stirring the pot between you and Mark. “Don’t look so happy Haech, it’s just a dance” You whispered in a low voice, the two of you joining the dance floor.

“A slow dance with the future Queen of Caliriel? Of course I’m happy” Haechan answered, a hand resting on his shoulder while the other held his hand and one of his hands resting on your waist. “You, my lovely friend, are the most sought out maiden in all of the Seven Isles, I’m just lucky enough to be a friend of yours" He explained, bringing up how you're a well loved Princess that a few Princes’ had their eyes on. Which was an uncomfortable thought to have in your mind, especially since the Princes’ who are looking at you are ones you grew up with.

“Are you trying to tell me you want to court me?” You asked, your eyes squinting in question to his intentions.

Haechan rolled his eyes, annoyed at how dense you are. “No, I’m not ready for marriage. I like flirting way too much” He pointed out, twirling you around before dipping you and pulling you back up. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if a marriage proposal was soon in your future” He prophesied, making you internally shiver at the idea of a Prince asking for your hand in marriage.

“Never gonna happen” You mumbled out, continuing to dance with him while on the other side of the ball room, Mark stood where you left him.

He was just watching you dance, a sour look on your face only he could see. He could feel an angry bubble in his stomach, he didn't know why he was angry, but he was. Mark just assumed it was because Haechan interrupted your conversation, yeah, that was why, no other reason he can think of. However, there was something he did know, dare he say, he wishes he was in Haechan’s place right now. Mark wanted to be the one to be dancing with you, dipping you, twirling you around like a ballerina. Mark wanted his hands on you, not Haehchan. However, that last thought felt too intimate for him to admit it to himself.

“She’s pretty isn’t she” Mark heard Chenle’s familiar voice behind him, his gaze looking at him, however, Mark’s gaze never left your figure.

“She’s breathtaking” Mark confessed, breathless at how your dress followed behind you, how the sparkling lights hit you at every perfect angle, and how stunning you looked, it rendered him speechless. Mark had no thoughts passing through his mind when looking at you dressed like it, it made him rethink his favorite color from being blue to the shade of green you were wearing.

“Why can’t you say ‘beautiful’ like a normal person?” Chenle asked, teasing the boy who spoke like a poet with his big words that confused his counterparts.

Mark broke his gaze away from you to look at Chenle, making a deeper point than he expected. “She deserves more than normal” Mark mumbled out, making sure Chenle understood how serious he was about this. Mark knew you deserved so much more than a lousy compliment you hear all the time, the same words, the same phrase, it all felt too repetitive. Mark didn’t want you to hear that from him, so he made a point to give you so much more with his words that confused you, but you still looked them up in a dictionary just to understand what he told you.

The gentle claps began to fill the room as the dance came to an end. Mark felt his hands gently coming together as Chenle made his exit and you began walking towards him, a shy smile on your face while he said all the words deep down in his heart that weren’t ready to come out yet, it wasn’t time.

“I hated that” You mumbled out, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the ball room and out onto a balcony that looked down on your Kingdom. The village lights were like twinkling stars or fireflies, the vines and flowers on the balcony, their scent filled your senses as you took in a deep breath, the warm air hugging you. “It was so cold in there, needed some fresh air” You mumbled out, the comment Haechan made still ringing in your mind.

Mark could sense that there was something on your mind, something heavy with societal pressures. “What did he say?” Mark asked, his voice soft as he looked at you, you avoiding his gaze as you felt an uncomfortable amount of attention on you from him.

While it was easy to talk to Mark, easier than you ever thought, it was also hard sometimes. Mark is a safe space, a safe person, and a safe atmosphere because he created it. Mark is a comforting person and that hasn;t changed since you met him. You honestly don’t know how he does it, how he can make people confide in him so easily, like he speaks and instantly you want to tell him your deepest darkest secrets.

You took in a deep breath, biting your lip as Mark continued to bear his eyes on you, his gaze hot. “Haechan said something stupid” You replied, shaking your head as if to brush it off, a chuckle leaving your lips to ease the tension. “He said that I was the most sought after maiden in all of the Seven Isles, which is crazy”

“He’s not wrong” Mark replied, making you finally look at him like he was insane. No way was Mark agreeing with Haechan about this. “You know you’re beautiful, any Prince would be lucky to marry you, let alone court you”

“I don’t want to be courted” You confessed, the confession weighing heavy on both of you. “I told you this, I don’t want to be married or thought of as a wife. I have a duty to my people, that comes first before any ring” Your voice was stern, borderline yelling because it honestly felt like no one was listening or understanding you. You’re only eighteen, so young, too young to even be thinking about marriage. While you were too young to be thinking about running a country, that felt more reasonable than thinking about which Prince to pick as your husband.

“No one is asking you to get married now” Mark assured you, but it felt like he wasn’t listening to you again. The gentle frustration of being heard, but not understood simmered in you. You weren’t frustrated at Mark, he didn’t understand as he was a man, he heard, but didn’t understand, that’s not something you faulted him with.

“I know, they want me to get married later in life, but I don’t think I want that” You confessed gently, like it was a new revelation to the both of you. Suddenly, the idea of marriage was no longer an after thought that you knew would happen one day, but one you disowned. Did you want marriage? Did marriage seem like a good road to go down on? Sure, being a wife wouldn’t stop you from being a good Queen, but for some reason, you felt as though that it would drag you down.

“You don’t want to get married?” Mark asked, eyes slightly wide as he never heard that come from you before. When you both discussed marriage in passing, you were indifferent to it, but you weren’t opposed to it, knowing the day would come eventually. But now, you felt like that day was coming faster and faster and it terrified you.

“I don’t know!” You exclaimed, your hands coming up to hold your head as you rested your elbows on the balcony. You signed, the pressure of trying to give Mark an answer made you clench your jaw. Mark gently rested a hand on your back, warm and comforting as you lifted your head. The night was quiet, warm and cold at the same time that it felt comfortable. “It’s just, I feel all this pressure all of a sudden to either get married now or get married later on in life, but I don’t even know if I want that”

Mark felt his brows furrow, not confused by your words, understanding that people change their minds all the time, and the idea of marriage changed your mind from accepting it, to no longer wanting any part of it. “Why don’t you want to get married?” He asked, again, not because he was confused, but just out of curiosity.

“Other than only being seen as a wife and not a Queen?” You asked, a scoff like a chuckle leaving your mouth. Shaking your head, you looked out at your kingdom, the gentle whisper of the air and the calming heartbeat of the land filling your body. “I don’t know, marriage is so deep, so intimate and I don’t know if I can do that with someone. I don’t know if I can bear my soul to someone and tie it with them for the rest of my life”

Mark couldn’t help it, bearing your soul to someone was hard? He couldn’t believe that. “You seem to bear your soul to me fairly easily” Mark chuckled as he saw a smile break out on your face, you finally looking at him with a light look.

“Thats because we’re best friends” You replied carelessly, just like you’ve done so many times before. It was easy to call yourselves best friends because you were, there was nothing more to it, not right now at least. Sure, the teasing was annoying and made you second guess your friendship with Mark at times, late at night where you wondered what if you and Mark dated, what if they were right and you both like each other more than friends? However, those thoughts went away the next day when you and Mark met up, the easiness of it all dismantled all those what if’s because the last thing you wanted was to destroy this friendship with a what if.

“The best” Mark replied back, his smile growing, but he couldn’t help but wonder. “But, come on, you show me everything about yourself, why can’t you do that with someone else?”

“Because no one else makes me feel as safe as you do” Your confession was filled without hesitation, it was a truth you knew and was comfortable with. You knew it, Mark knew it, everyone knew how easy it was for you to confide in Mark, how he is your safe person. Mark made it too easy to bear your soul to him, his calming nature, his understanding mind, his advice, his presence made you drop your walls, not that you ever had any with him anyways. “We’ve all been friends for years and yet, the first person I want to tell someone something, is you, not Jaemin, or Chenle, definitely not Haechan, not the Princess of Mariethen, or Lioralis, not Jisung, no one, just you”

“Really?” Mark asked, a little surprised, despite knowing this, it still shocked him to this day. How could that be possible? Mark is the first person you want to tell something to? How? Even though he felt the same way, hearing it out loud was a different feeling than knowing it without words.

You could see Mark feeling happy about this, maybe too much that you couldn't help but tease him. “Renjun is a close second”

However, that tease about Renjun didn’t affect him at all. Despite your light laughter, all Mark saw was a person shining so bright that you looked like the North Star they follow in the sky. “I also want to tell you everything, only you”

“I wonder why that is” You replied, a sarcastic tone falling from you as you both knew the reason.

“Me too” Mark replied, a shy smile on his face. It was silent, the comfortable silence that could last and not feel awkward. The two of you just looked at one another and it didn’t feel weird, didn’t feel odd, didn’t feel anything, but nice. Mark felt his heart stutter a bit, a skip in its rhythm that caught him off guard. He took a shaky breath, letting it out with a sigh. He looked away from you, following his gaze as he looked out at the night sky. “Haechan’s right, we do spend a lot of time together”

You chuckled, going back to leaning on the balcony railing, Mark following your lead. “You’re the only one I tolerate” You replied.

“Tolerate? Big word for you” Mark pointed out, making you gently push his shoulder as he let out a chuckle. “I learned from the best” You mumbled out, knowing how much you tease him for his big words he uses that you incorporate his words into your vocabulary.

So, anything else you want for your birthday?”

“God, I don’t know” You groaned, thinking about the table full of gifts from people you know and don’t know. “I think I have enough gifts as it is. Did you see the table?” You asked, brows raised as you looked at him, your hand stretched out to gesture to the arch that led to the inside of the castle. Mark looked over, seeing the light stretch onto the balcony you both were on, hearing the soft tune of the orchestra playing and the gentle hums of laughter and voices.

“Tables, there was more than one” Mark corrected you, smirking at how you reacted with your face falling.

“Really?” You asked, looking horrified at the discovery. You closed your eyes like you were in pain as gifts weren’t something you were too fond of. Of course you loved gifts, they were a sweet gesture, but you aren’t a materialistic person. Being given gifts was an uncomfortable situation for you, you don’t know why, but it was. “Oh, no, I blame Haechan”

“What did Haechan do?” Mark asked through his giggle, watching you be in agony over the mere thought of having tables filled and piled high with gifts from people.

You shrugged your shoulders, turning around to lean back on the railing, your back facing the kingdom as you looked back at the archway leading to the inside of the castle. “I don’t know, but he did something, I know it”

Another space for silence bubbled between you two. You staring off into the distance, your future slowly creeping up in your mind. The idea of growing up was so abstract, so far off in the distance that it felt imaginary and dreaming about the future was so grand. You could be anything in the future, but you wanted to be a great Queen, you wanted the grand balls, the crown, the life, and the Kingdom you were about to inherit. That was the future you dreamed about, that and that when you were Queen you’d make everyday national candy day. But the other thing you always saw was Mark next to you, it was an innocent thought you'd have as a child before falling asleep. You’d imagine the future, you as Queen in your too big dress and a heavy crown and Mark being right there with you. In what way? You never thought about that, but you knew he would be in whatever Mark way he’d be.

Mark also saw you in your future. Even as a quiet kid when he first met you, he knew you’d be with him for a while. However, he didn’t think that would actually happen. After years of friendships and petty arguments, you were still here with him, by his side and him by yours. It was weird to think about, to look at it through an outside perspective, years and years of friendship and still not falling out? Even then, why you two? Why were you and Mark best friends out of everyone? You had frequent meetings with the other Kingdoms, tradition to keep the peace that all Kings and Queens would meet and their children would bond, growing relationships that were surface level and yet, you and Mark were stuck to the hip. You both went to every birthday party of the Princes and Princesses, talking with them, bonding with them, and being friendly with them. However, those connections weren’t as strong as yours and Marks, it was cosmic, something deeper and so you two remained close.

But futures were weird, they used to be so far away and suddenly, you're in it. Eighteen years old and the future doesn’t seem so abstract or covered in glitter. It was dim, a clear path, one that has been mapped out for you since your birth and you’re just now getting the rule book. However, at least one good thing remained, your connections with the people you grew up with. Your younger sister, your parents, and of course, Mark.

“You really don’t want to get courted?” Mark asked, breaking the silence as the idea now started to confuse him. You didn’t want anyone to court you? Why? What was so wrong with the idea of being courted? Maybe it was the people who were proposing to court you? Would you have this reaction if he were the one to court you? Woah, wait, that is not a thought he should be having because now all he felt was a burning sensation in his stomach when that question passed his mind.

“Why would I want to be courted when you take up all my time?” You asked, a tease that made Mark;s heart stutter again. That has happened more than he’d like, weird.

Mark decided to tease you back, mostly in effort to calm his speeding heart rate. “You love it when I take up your time”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way”

“Jesus, Haechan is right” Mark breathed out, tensing his shoulders as your words made him think twice. “We sound like an old married couple”

“Don’t old married couples argue all the time?” You asked, knowing that the comparison didn’t exactly work.

Mark rolled his eyes, the easy conversation continuing to flow despite changing subjects. “An old married couple that still love one another”

“What? An argumentative old married couple still be in love with one another” You pointed out.

“Are we really arguing about old married couples right now?”

You jokingly rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. “You’re the one who brought it up”

“Fine, fine, let's talk about something else”

You two began humming, trying to think of another topic to discuss when one hit your mind. “Oh, the Princess from Lioralis has a crush on you”

“What? Which one?” Mark asked, instantly perking up, which you took as an interest in the eldest daughter. At first you didn’t think much about his body language, but you questioned if he had a small crush on her. You wouldn’t be surprised, they knew each other their whole lives and whenever they interacted, it was friendly, maybe too friendly that it was like you and Mark. Odd.

“Second child” You brusted his bubble after being brought back down to Earth when the second thought hit your head that you probably shouldn’t be thinking this about Mark. Mark couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, his hand coming up to hide his laughter. “Don’t laugh! She’s sweet!”

“Shes like fourteen!” You exclaimed in her defense, smacking Mark’s shoulder a bit harder this time. “It’s sweet! Besides, she told me, she was like, you sure Mark isn’t courting you? And I’m like ew, no, that’s gross, and so she's like--”

“Wait, me courting you would be gross?” Mark asked, interrupting your explanation. His question caught you off guard, making your eyes widen a bit as he stared at you with such intensity that it almost seemed like he was waiting to hear you say that it wasn’t weird, not at all.

“Well, y-yeah. ‘Course it would be, it'd be like if Haechan courted me” You stuttered out, trying to come up with something and settled on a comparison with Haechan.

“Did you just compare me to Haechan?”

“What? No? No!” You exclaimed when Mark gave you a look that he didn’t believe you. “it's just, I’d be flattered, but like, it wouldn’t work out” You explained, avoiding his gaze as you cleared your throat.

“How do you know that?” Mark asked, his voice gentle and quiet, like he wanted to shift the atmosphere from a joke to an honest conversation. Why? Why was he pressing you on this?

“I don’t, but I think it wouldn’t work out” You confessed, your voice small like your confidence in your answer. Honestly, you never thought of Mark that way, courting you, loving you in a way more than a friend. It felt illegal to think that way so you never did and it didn’t bother you. However, now, your brain is working fast, zooming through scenarios between your and Mark and courting. How in hindsight, you two would work. You and Mark have an understanding of one another, a connection that went deeper than a normal friendship and you see him in your looming future. It would work, hypothetically of course, because at the end of the day, you and Mark were just friends.

Mark could feel your awkwardness, but one thing about Mark, he’ll always make it more awkward with that mouth of his that speaks before his brain. “I think we would work”

Your eyes widened, your face burning with heat. “You’re crazy” You mumbled out, a nervous chuckle leaving your lips while you shook your head in disbelief.

“I’m serious!” Mark exclaimed, wanting to defend his thinking. “Like in a hypothetical way, if I courted you, I think you’d fall for me, I’m very romantic”

You looked over at him, tilting your head at him. “I’ll believe it when I see it”

“So you do want me to court you?” He asked, even though it sounded more like a statement of truth. Did you want that? In a hypothetical way, would you want Mark to court you?

“Don’t twist my words around” You mumbled out, looking away from him.

“Whatever” Mark shook his head, looking away from you as you both resumed your gazes to the inside of the castle. “Well, if we’re talking about crushes, I think Haechan has a crush on you”

“Haechan has a crush on everyone, even you” You brushed off, knowing that Haechan was a soon to be play boy. One day, when he’s older, he’d have every girl and boy wrapped around his finger. He’s a flirt with so much confidence you wondered if it was real or fake.

“Yo, what?!” Mark exclaimed, standing a bit taller in shock at you saying that Haechan had a crush on Mark. “No, no he doesn’t”

“Haechan’s a flirt, he flirts with everyone” You pointed out, assuring him with how flirty Haechan was with everyone that it had to be taken with a grain of salt.

“Yeah, but not you, so I think he has a newfound crush on you”

You shook your head, not believing a word Mark was saying. “No, he doesn’t, he’s still convinced we have a crush on each other”

“Oh my, he thinks that so much, convinced Chenle of it too” Mark added on, remembering how teasing Chenle was to him when watching you and Haechan dance, egging him on to confess something.

“Oh, God” You groaned, shaking your head once more. “He’s deluded”

“You can say that again” Mark mumbled. Honestly, having a crush on you never happened to Mark, it never crossed his mind, never once made an appearance. Sure, the teasing made him wonder why, but it never prompted a oh, maybe I do have a crush on her. No, that never crossed his mind, until now. Seeing you dance with Haechan, it shifted something and now this conversation was making him nervous, making him breathe just a bit faster. “I don’t think we’d ever have a crush on each other”

“Totally, never” You replied, an awkward chuckle being shared between you two as the air tensed up. “Me and you? Crazy” You sang out, clearing your throat as you noticed Mark didn’t say anything. “You really would never have a crush on me?” You don’t know what prompted you to ask that, you really don’t, but it came out, it just came out.

Mark looked at you with wide eyes, something stuck in his throat as he struggled to come up with an answer. “Uh, w-well, I, uh, I guess not? I don’t know, I never thought about it, I guess” Mark stuttered, clenching his jaw as he took in a deep breath. “Would you ever have a crush on me?” He asked timidly, slightly scared to know the answer and he didn’t know if it was because he was scared you’d say no, or you’d say yes.

“I never thought about it, I guess” You told him, your words echoing his. “We’ve been friends for so long and our dynamic has always been friends, so it just never crossed my mind”

“Yeah, we really have always been friends, haven't we?” He asked a rhetorical question, knowing the answer would be yes.

You smiled, remembering how when you thought about the future, you always saw him. “You know, as a kid I always thought about the future. Wondering what it would be like to finally wear that crown and be a Queen, be a role model or something. It was always so grand, so big and yet in the quieter times of thinking about it all, I always saw you” You confessed in this quiet moment between the two of you. No one else, no mothers calling for you, no men asking you for a dance, no one pulling Mark away for a chat, and no teasing from Haechan and Chenle in your ears. “You were always in my future Mark and I hope you still are”

It’s like you both finally saw one another. Like it was you first and last time seeing one another, like this was the last gaze before the world ended. It was quiet, private, and different compared to your other deep conversations. It was a quiet confession, one you both had yet to acknowledge. Mark was rendered speechless, not because he didn’t know what to say, he knew what to say, but because he didn’t want this moment, this look, this tension to disappear with his words. He didn’t want to steal your moment, your confession with his own. Your words hung in the air, usually expecting to hear a response, but for once, you were happy that Mark didn’t say one.

It was palpable, the tension, the atmosphere, and the damn connection you both had. It had shifted so hard that it felt like an earthquake. Both your hearts skipping the same beat only to fall in line with one another, your breaths slowly synchronizing as you borrowed each other's breath. So close to one another that you both didn’t realize how you were leaning in, sharing each other's space and closing that distance that once harboured friendship.

You could feel Mark’s breath on your lips, the buzz in your body feeding off of him, and the rapid heart beat in your chest made your fingertips itch to touch him. You gently reached up for his face, timid and scared that a simple touch would bring him back and make him retreat into the comfortable space that held you apart. However, when your hesitant hand cupped his face, he didn’t retreat, he didn’t snap back into the reality you drifted away from, but leaned into it. Mark’s warm face leaned into your touch, his own hand coming up to hold yours that was on his face. That simple touch gave you the go ahead that you needed, finally closing the gap between you two, soft lips meeting gently chapped ones that tasted like the champagne he was drinking not too long ago.

It was soft, not rough, not hungry, not filled with a longing like you both yearned for this to happen, it was innocent. The kiss was simple, inexperienced mouths slowly finding their rhythm together, slowly finding their way and slowly connecting with this person they felt drawn to. It was like candy, a new kind of candy you weren’t sure about, but the second your tongue tasted that sweet candy, instantly you loved it. Dare you say it reminded you of your beloved Enchanted Forest, the soft breeze, the trees, the smell of grass and dirt. How when it rained, the air smelled like it, smelled like wet grass mixed with the scent of the flowers. It was everything good in the world and you honestly couldn’t get enough of it.

As for Mark, to him, it reminded him of his wishing well on a gloomy day. You weren’t gloomy and the kiss was anything but gloomy, it was peaceful. Gloomy days were quiet and peaceful for Mark, especially by the well where’d he’d write in his journal, ponder about things, read books that gave him ideas or taught him new and big words to annoy you with, and it made his mind go quiet, even if it was just for a few minutes until he was called back inside. That’s what this kiss reminded him of, at his well, at his home. You were home for Mark, a comfortable and peaceful home he could come back to when his day was bad or good.

When you both pulled apart, needing the shared air between you both, your eyes opened to see Mark’s eyes blown wide and they looked sparkly. They looked so shiny that you confused them with stars while what he saw was a glow. You were glowing, you looked alive and radiant. You were a sun while he was the stars. Maybe that’s how it's supposed to be.

“I see you in my future too” He replied, a smile growing on his face as he connected your forehead together, his hand still on yours as you smiled wide, a chuckle leaving your mouth.

“Best birthday present ever” You mumbled out, making Mark laugh with pride.

However, that sweet and pure moment was seven years ago. Seven years had passed and ever since that night, you and Mark never spoke about it as the next day you both saw each other, it was awkward. Mark tried his best to act like nothing happened, talking to you like normal, but he seemed to bite his tongue a bit more. You didn’t like that, you hated that, hated how this kiss changed you both, changed your easy dynamic. Most of all, you hated how Mark acted like it didn’t happen at all. You wanted to talk about it, wanted to unpack it and see where it could take you. You knew your heart had shifted with Mark, you honestly assumed it also shifted his, but now you thought otherwise.

So, you equally bit your tongue, continued on like normal and eventually, after what felt like years, when it was actually four months, you and Mark were normal again. Well, as normal as you both could be. But, four months turned into a year, which turned into four, then six, and now it’s been eight years since that night. You and Mark are different now, older, wiser, and responsible. You both aren’t impulsive teenagers anymore, you’re adults now getting ready to actually be Kings and Queens. Mark had been crowned King a year prior, twenty six and is now King of Eloweth. You were twenty five, just of age to be crowned and suddenly it terrified you. The dream and the pride you once had was fading away as your coronation loomed over your head. Not only that, but, you are twenty five and have no husband, no children to be your successors to continue to the royal bloodline.

Marriage was still an option, but the window of opportunity was closing. Society expects women to be married by an early age, twenty one to about twenty three and by then you’re expected to have a child within that year of marriage. More pressure was put on you due to being a woman, seeing as Mark had no rush to get married and hardly had any thoughts about it. You, however, needed a husband. Your mother even integrates that talk with you, bringing up potential bachelors. “Prince Xiaojun of the Southern Isles is single” She’d say, or "Remember how King Taeyong’s wife died a couple years ago? Heard he’s looking for a new wife” So many mentions of Kings and Princes from far away lands and you were growing tired of it, annoyed by the subtle mentions and annoyed by how you knew what you had to do in order for your Kingdom to remain for centuries to come. Suddenly, the idea of being Queen no longer felt freeing, it felt bounding.

“Come in” You announce, hearing the familiar knock of one of the guards at the door. Opening it up, you turned your head over your shoulder to see the guard walk in a bow before standing up straight. “The King of Eloweth is here to see you my future Queen"

You signed, looking down at the seamstress who was working on your coronation gown. She was working tirelessly, adding the finishing touches to your gown for your coronation later tonight. “Doesn’t he know I’m busy?” You asked, not expecting a response from the workers.

“And don’t you know that it took me three days to come here for your Coronation?” Mark asked, appearing in your room as you saw him in the mirrors.

You gently shook your head, disapproving of his poor timing. “I’m in a fitting, Mark. Can’t this wait?” You asked, your voice calmer and more mature.

“I can see you’re in a fitting, but come on, Princess. I haven’t seen you in a while”

“You’re King, you have more pressing matters to attend to” You pointed out, a small understanding smile on your face. “But, I am happy to see you”

“Me too” He replied, a smile growing on his face as that familiar and now comfortable tension grew between you two. The seamstress tensed up as she looked up as her gaze looked between the both of you. Your tension with Mark has been growing and simmering for seven years, seven years of stolen glaces, subtle jealousy, and a quiet knowing that you two were more than friends, but never spoke about it. It was a mutual agreement now, don’t bring up and kiss and don’t bring up the tension. “You look--the dress is beautiful”

You looked down, the heavy and tight corset of a light green trailed down with layers and layers of fabric, white and green, light and dark, it reminded you of Caliriel. Caliriel was so green, so in tune with the Earth that it only ever felt right to dress in such colors the way Mark dresses in a dark royal blue that speaks to Eloweth wishing well and the river that connects it to Velendra.

“Well, Miyeon has done an amazing job” You complimented the young seamstress.

“Thank you, your highness” She thanked, her voice nervous as she was still getting used to her new job at the castle.

“Is Haechan coming to your Coronation? Or is he busy flirting with every maiden on the planet?” Mark asked, going to your bed to take a seat, messing with your pillows.

Rolling your eyes, you looked at Mark through the mirror as you continued to remain still for Miyeon. “Yes, Haechan is coming to the Coronation, he sent me a letter begging to be first on the list”

Mark perked up at that information. “Did you?” He asked, hoping that he was the first on the list, not Haechan.

“No, of course not. I’m not going to inflate his ego” You denied, not wanting Haechan to grow a bigger head than he already has.

“Whos first on the list?” Mark asked, his voice full of hope that it was him out of everyone.

“Renjun” You replied quickly, making Mark groan as you laughed at him. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! It’s you, of course it’s you. My best friend gets privileges of being first on the list and totally not because you’re the first one of us to be King” You whispered that last part, hoping he didn't hear.

“I heard that!” Mark exclaimed, hearing your whispering words. “Me being King doesn’t change everything” Mark mumbled out, knowing that it did, it changed everything. He was busier, tending to his people more, hearing their problems and trying to find a solution, finding more peace between neighboring Isles and far away kingdoms for trading goods. It was a lot and you could see the stress in his shoulders and his face.

“Mark, it changed everything” You replied, sounding sympathetic. “You’re King, your people need you so much, you are their way of survival. They depend on you”

“My mother has told me that you’re looking for a husband now” Mark brought up, changing the subject as he didn’t feel like discussing his inner turmoil about the royal life right now. Not when it’s your Coronation day.

You looked down in embarrassment as his words made it sound like you were desperate. “Yeah, I kind of am”

Mark furrowed his brows, confused by the sudden shift in your stance on marriage. “Why? You’re still young” He stated something you already knew.

“I’m not, not to society at least. I need a husband and I need children to continue my family bloodline” You explained, not expecting him to understand, but expecting him to accept this fact.

“Marriage is supposed to be for love, not some obligation” Mark told you with a stern voice that was steady and strong, like he knew he was right. The worst part was that he is right, marriage is supposed to be about love, not some contractual agreement.

“You don’t understand” You mumbled out, shaking your head as you turned around in your Coronation dress that made Mark’s breath run out. “My mother had me at nineteen, my sister at twenty one, she was crowned Queen at twenty three and I was four years old at that time. I’m twenty five, no husband, no children, and no future if I don’t continue the royal bloodline”

Mark stood up from your bed, walking towards you with such determination for you to let go of societal pressures and be your own person again. “You don’t have to be like your mother or like any other women in society. You can get married whenever you want, have children at whatever age you want. It’s your life, not societies” He preached, his body invading your personal space bubble and the tension bubbled over like you were the only two in the room.

But you weren’t. Mieyon cleared her throat, making you break eye contact with Mark to look at her. “I’m sorry to interrupt your highness’ speech, but the Coronation is in ten hours and I still need to finish this gown”

“Of course, Mark was just leaving” You announced his departure, looking at him with no emotion on your face. One thing about you, your pride and stubbornness never grew out of you.

“I’ll see you at your Coronation" He replied, taking a bow before leaving your room.

You signed, thoughts filled with the Coronation and marriage. “Your highness, may I speak?”

“You may”

She paused, thinking about her words before asking another question. “May I speak candidly?”

You furrowed your brows, looking down at her as she continued to sew in the embellishments. “You may” You replied, a little suspicious with what she was going to say.

“You and King Mark, you’re best friends, correct?’ She asked, you hummed with a curt nod of your head. “May I just say, best friends don’t look at each other the way you two look at one another”

You tensed up, the flashbacks to your eighteenth birthday flooding your mind. The kiss, the moment of confession, the hypothetical you both spoke about that theoretically, you both would be perfect for one another. It’s an odd thing to feel this kind of love for your best friend that is blurred between platonic and romantic. You love Mark so much that your love for him was borderline insanity. It felt like an aggression inside of you whenever you and Mark hung out as adults. The conversations were deeper, sexier with innuendos of his own escapades with women as Haechan tried to push him out there. The conversations were filled with this tension as you both got more toxicated, his cheeks were flushed red and his lips looking softer ever since you introduced him to a lip treatment your maids cooked up for you, and is hair was always so perfectly tousled after taking off his crown and running a hand through it. He was this enigmatic person that was pulling you deeper and deeper into his ground.

“It wouldn’t work” You lied, your voice coming out sweet and sad, a melancholy feeling that Miyeon saw so clearly.

A longing in how you avoided your gaze for her to not see the subtle pain the thought that Mark wasn’t yours and wouldn’t be because you both never spoke about it. Both are so terrified to speak about it because if you did, it would become real and the realer it is, the more it would hurt when the relationship failed and your hypothetical would be wrong. And you’re both cowards, scared of the unknown and scared that if you speak about these unknown feelings because none of you knew if they still lingered in one another. What if Mark confessed and you don’t feel the same, or what if you confess and he says no. Feelings can grow out of people, you’re both terrified that you outgrew one another.

“Besides, Mark isn’t exactly husband material. He’s brash, unfiltered and well, he’s Mark” You replied, standing up taller as your hands gently felt the material of your gown, trying to ground yourself. “I must find a husband worth something, an agreeable one, preferably quiet, sweet, and kind. Maybe one who understands and listens, and of course have a love for the forest we have”

“Sounds like Prince Jaemin from Velendra” Miyeon mumbled out, a smile on her face as she remembered the young Prince from the neighboring Isle.

“Jaemin?” You asked, a chuckle barreling through you as you recount your civil interactions with Jaemin. He was quiet, sweet, kind, loved his land with so much heart that it matched your own. Jaemin Na, he’s always been friendly to you, after all he is just the land over, right next to your Kingdom. You traded your goods with one another, were close, and were always civil. Your conversations didn’t go deeper than scratching the surface, but anyone could tell that he was intelligent and carried himself well. “Jaemin” You mumbled a bit clearer, not with laughter, not with question, but with conviction.

Soon enough, the throne room was filled to the brim with every royal highness and several trusted King appointed civilian trustees. Their loud murmurs and whispers filled you with anxiety as you stood behind the two double doors. You felt your palms get sweaty, your heart beating fast and your mind racing with several different scenarios about you you can trip and fall, maybe you’ll miss a step when going up to the throne, or maybe you’ll drop your orb and it’ll make a loud noise, or maybe your scepter will slip through your fingers, you don’t know what, but you were terrified to make yourself a fool.

“Hey, they’re gonna be ready in a couple minutes” Your sister said, coming up to you in her own dress that was calmer in tone. She noticed how you didn’t respond, didn’t even look at her and was just pacing around like you did during your Unveiling. “Hey, you okay? You look like you’re gonna pass out”

“Oh, do I?” You asked, a little out of breath as you tried to calm down, stopping your pacing to close your eyes and breathe. “What if I make a fool of myself?”

“You won’t make a fool of yourself, you never do” Your younger sister said, her reassuring words hitting you, but that panic still remained. She called your name, making you look over at your younger sister as she held your shoulders and stared at you. “You are going to be the best future Queen of Caliriel this Kingdom has ever seen. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re kind and you’re everything sweet in the world. You got this, and if you do fall, I’ll be sure to remind you every year on this day”

You remained silent, the simple joke making you smile with ease. She returned the smile as you put your own hands on her shoulders as you looked back at her, finally back in your own body and not in some panicked reality where everything went wrong. Suddenly, your sister being all grown up hit you like a ton of bricks. She was older now, wiser, and no longer the silly little girl you used to play dolls with. She was her own person, twenty three years old and so young and yet, not so much with the way she spoke and carried herself.

“When did you get so grown up?” You asked, making her playfully roll her eyes.

“Five years ago when I turned eighteen” She replied bluntly, making you giggle as you stood up straight, your hands falling to your sides as she followed your lead.

“Your highness?” A royal guard called, making you both turn around as he bowed to you both. “They are ready for you now, if your sister may join your parents please” He ordered. You looked over at your sister and nodded, signaling her to leave with the royal guard. He bowed as he began to escort your sister to the other entrance to join your parents.

You looked ahead at the double doors, taking in a deep breath as the doors opened. You stood up straighter, your face stern and cold as you tried to show no emotion. Your breath was being held as everyone stood to watch you walk down the aisle, it seemed longer and further to the throne that awaited you with your parents standing tall and proud. You didn’t dare to look at the pew, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone here as you can hear the familiar whispers of Haechan and Mark. Haechan mumbling about something and Mark shushing him.

You made it to the front, stepping up the steps to your proud father and the archbishop. You smiled at your family as you looked at the archbishop, bowing and waiting for the heavy weight of the crown to hit your head. As soon as it made contact with your head, you felt it, you felt the whispers of Caliriel, the heart beat of the ground you walk on and the emotions of the people you now serve. Standing back up straight, the archbishop held out the orb and scepter of your Kingdom, its familiar detail of vines wrapping around the scepter and the way it glistened underneath the sunlight peaking through as you began to reach for it. It felt heavy in your hands, the coldness hitting you as it made you shiver. You took in a deep breath, turning around as you faced the people and the archbishop began saying the familiar all hail. The rest of the people echoed this chant as they cheered, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

Turning around, you handed the scepter and orb back to the archbishop, smiling to your parents as they pulled you into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, my love” Your mother said in your ear, making you feel instantly relaxed as your father just said he was proud that Caliriel will have you as their Queen.

Soon enough, the ceremony had moved to the ball room, you standing up on the throne as you watched everyone mingle and dance around with the familiar tunes of new music being played. You could feel someone staring at you, however, a new gaze that felt stronger. You tried to find it, looking around until your eyes fell onto Jaemin from Velendra. He smiled at you, a kind one as he lifted his champagne glass up towards you, a silent toast as he brought it to his lips. The action made you blush, a bashful smile growing on your lips as you looked away in an attempt to hide it. You bit your lip as you looked back, Jaemin smiling as he felt proud that he got you to smile.

He began moving, taking his steps towards you as he had a mission in mind. Jaemin was in dire need of a wife before he was crowned King and he heard that you were looking for a husband to marry. To be honest, it was a good transactional deal, he gets a wife and you get a husband.

“Your highness” Jaemin bowed, making you shake your head.

“Jaemin, please, we’ve known each other since we were kids, you can call me by my name” You reminded him, letting him know that it was okay and that there should be no awkwardness in honorifics.

Jaemin said your name, familiar to his lips and yet it all felt new. This new atmosphere that felt foreign to you as you hadn't felt this kind of tension with him, only with Mark. How was that possible? You and Jaemin have known each other since you were babies, little kids running around, chasing one another and now you are here, flirting with one another with glances and tones.

“You want to dance?” Jaemin asked, a smile on his face and just as you were about to respond, you heard a familiar cough coming from next to you. You looked over and there was Mark, looking between the two of you.

“She can’t, uh, she’s dancing with me, right?” Mark asked, looking at you as you furrowed your brows, confused because you never promised him a dance.

Mark looked at you with pleading eyes, practically begging you for a dance for no reason at all other than not wanting to see you have your first dance with Jaemin.

“Uh” You stuttered out, not knowing or sure of what to say, but you looked at Jaemin and remembered the comment made by Miyeon. It sounded like you were describing Jaemin. “Actually, I’m going to dance with Jaemin first. I’ll dance with you later, Mark” You offered him a smile as you took Jaemin's hand as he led you to the dance floor. Mark followed you both, clenching his jaw as he looked visibly annoyed with this situation.

“Markie boy!” Haechan’s familiar voice rang through his ears as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Mark didn’t say anything, continuing to look at you and Jaemin dancing, laughing and smiling like an annoying picture he’d hate to see in his castle halls. Haechan followed his gaze and it stumbled upon you and Jaemin. “You’re seriously letting Pinky Pie steal your girl?”

“She’s not my girl. She can do anything she wants”

“And anyone she wants with how she's cozying up with Jaemin” Haechan pointed out, sighing as he watched Jaemin pull you in closer to whisper something in your ear making you let out a loud laugh that caught the attention of other people around you. “Didn’t know Jaemin was a funny guy”

“He’s not” Mark mumbled out, growing more annoyed by the minute, walking out of Haechan’s grasp to grab another glass of champagne.

“She thinks he's a funny guy” Haechan replied, following Mark around the ball room, smiling and winking at potential girls to speak to. “Look at her, she’s laughing and smiling so much”

“Yeah, I can see that, Haech” Mark groaned out, grabbing a glass from one of the people walking around with trays.

“Why’re you so upset about this anyways?” Haechan asked, not confused as to why Mark was upset about it, he just wanted to hear it from him.

“I’m not” Mark instantly defended himself, whipping his head over to look at Haechan who looked unfazed by it. “I’m not upset,” Mark said again, not as convincing as the first time.

“Yeah, sure you’re not” Haechan stated, he did not believe Mark’s words, not one single letter that came out of his mouth was true. “But hey, at least she’s smiling with Pink Muscles over there, you know” Haechan said, holding his hands up in surrender, walking towards Mark and standing next to him, following his gaze that led straight to you. “Heard she’s looking for a husband, is that true?”

“Yeah, said she feels the need to find one” Mark replied quietly, not showing an emotion as he carefully watched how Jaemin’s hands held you so closely, with such conviction that the tension was palpable as he could feel it all the way across the room.

“Heard Jaemin’s looking for a wife” Mark whipped his head over to look at Haechan. “Yeah, he’s looking for a wife” He confirmed again, Mark looking back at you and seeing how at ease you looked with him. You hardly knew him! You both weren’t friends, you both weren’t close, hell, he didn’t even know that you still wish on the Wishing Well in Eloweth because you’re convinced that your wishes will come true one day. “Sucks really, one of these lovely and beautiful Princesses will be swept up by sweet and sexy Jaemin”

Mark signed, rolling his eyes at this news. How perfect, how perfect that you’re looking for a husband at the same time that Jaemin is looking for a wife. “Well, color me surprised, that’s perfect for them”

“Match made in heaven” Haechan egged on, watching Mark’s reaction closely. He was tense, a twitch in his jaw, his shoulders shaking with how tight his muscles were, and his gaze wasn’t even on you and Jaemin, just you. It was softer compared to the rest of him, his gaze on you could never be mean or harsh, it was always gentle, like if he stared at you too harshly, you’d crumble.

“Totally” Mark whispered out, flashes of you and Jaemin in the future passed through his mind. You in white, Jaemin at the end of the aisle, kids with a mixture of yours and Jaemins face like some sick and twisted happy family.

And a sick and twisted couple you were, at least to Mark you seemed that way. God it annoyed him, how happy you looked speaking about him. After the Coronation you spoke about Jaemin, how you danced with him all night, completely forgetting about your promised dance with Mark. You also went on and on about how you both clicked, like despite not being close and only being friendly with one another, and only seeing each other a handful of times a year, you both clicked once you actually got talking. He was funny, kind, cared about his Kingdom and understood the pressure you feel with getting married and having kids. It was like meeting someone just like you, if that made any sense. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing yourself and that scared you in a good way.

“So, is he going to propose then?” Mark asked one day, you were both in his garden, walking the grounds slowly.

Your eyes went wide as you paused your current explanation of your most recent date with Jaemin. “Uh, I don’t know. I’d assume so, but even he told me he was equally courting others”

“Wait, he’s courting other Princesses?” Mark asked, completely perplexed by the idea that Jaemin could court anyone other than you, let alone confess that to you.

“Well, in his defense, he is looking for a wife” You defended, mostly because the idea of Jaemin courting other women didn’t bother you. Sure, you enjoyed his company and he was a nice guy, but the idea of him with other Princesses didn’t upset you. You didn’t know why, but you assumed it was because you’ve only known him fully for two weeks.

“And you’re looking for a husband, but you’re not going around courting other Princes’”

“Because I’m the one supposed to be courted” You replied, your steps falling out of step with his. You looked at him like he was insane, why was he so agitated by that? “It’s not my fault the other guys don’t want me, Jaemin does”

“Until he finds someone else” Mark mumbled out, looking away as he watched how the breeze went through the bushes, making them sway.

“Maybe, but I’m being honest. He’s sweet and kind. He’s a good person” You replied, so sure in your words that it made Mark feel this bubble of anger at the tip of his toes. He rolled his eyes, annoyed with how much praise you give Jaemin. “Yeah, and so is Haechan, but you don’t see me marrying him” He compared, making you furrow your brows at the comparison of him marrying Haechan. “Besides the point” You mumbled out, changing the subject from Mark marrying Haechan--to which Mark looked really embarrassed about saying--back to Jaemin “I have to do what’s right”

“And what's right is marrying him?” Mark asked, trying to understand you, however he was really trying to understand and come to terms with the situation.

You hesitated, because he's right, that is what is right in your mind. If Jaemin asked for your hand in marriage right now, you’d say yes. You don’t think it’s out of love, but out of a common understanding between the two of you, you both needed one thing from the other so it worked out. Hypothetically, you and Jaemin would work. It would be transactional, of course, but you think you could learn to love Jaemin and you hoped he’d learn to love you later down the line. Right?

“I am fond of his company” You replied, your words sounding so adult and so careful that Mark could have sworn it was rehearsed.

“You’re fond of his company?” He asked, echoing your words back to you to see if you’ll elaborate even more, or even realize how odd it sounded when talking about someone who is courting you.

You furrowed your brows, confused as to why Mark was sounding like a pissed off person right now. Like he was judging you for wanting to find a husband and be a good servant to your people. It’s what you have to do, it’s your duty, why was he so upset about that? “Why are you acting like this?” You asked, stopping in your tracks as you looked at him with annoyance. “Like what?” He asked, confused at your question, stopping his steps to stand in front of you.

You shrugged your shoulders, arms coming up to cross over your stomach. “Like you hate the guy”

“What? Come on, I don't hate the guy” Mark denied, but you stopped him.

“It sounds like you hate the guy”

“I don’t hate the guy” Mark denied again, but you didn’t buy it. Mark signed, looking at you with a soft look, like he was finally giving into the idea of you and Jaemin. His shoulders falling and his face relaxing. “I just, you’re my best friend and I don’t want you rushing into something that is for life, this is for life”

“I’m fully aware of the Mark, but it’s only been like two weeks since my Coronation, maybe someone else will come along”

“Like who?” His question didn’t come out malicious, not to be mean, but a genuine question. No one else had spoken up to court you, not Renjun, not Chenle, not Haechan, no one, not even Mark.

You shrugged your shoulders. “Haechan, you did say he might have a crush on me”

“Like seven years ago” Mark chuckled out, making the mood lighten up a bit as you smiled at him.

“So, he doesn’t have a crush on me?” You asked, teasing the man standing in front of you.

Mark groaned, picking up his feet as he started walking again, you following him. “Haechan is a man whore, he flirts with everyone and kisses so many girls”

“I’m not hearing a no” You pointed out, laughing as Mark sighed in annoyance at how you were bringing up old news. You heard a royal guard call your name, pointing at the hourglass in his hand. You looked back at Mark who looked confused at the time limit you both suddenly have. “Oh, I have to go”

“Where are you going?” Mark asked, brows furrowed.

You gave him a small smile. “I have a date with Jaemin, he’s going to give me a tour of Velendra”

“Haven’t you already had a tour of Velendra? Like when you were eight?” He asked, a displeasing tone coming through that you didn’t hear, but he did, he felt it too. You already saw Velendra, why take another look?

“It’s honestly an excuse to just talk with one another” You came clean, looking down to avoid his persistent eye contact.

“Is that all you guys do? Talk?”

“Yeah, it is” You said with a soft smile, images and memories of yours and Jasmin’s conversations flashing through. The soft gentle laugh of his at a funny story you said, the way he’d give you his full attention when speaking, and how he’d always have a story to entertain you with. However, it was only a millisecond with the flashes of Jaemin as the rest were filled with Mark. You and Mark, the calmness of it all, the sweet whispers as you tried to not get caught sneaking around each other's castles as young children. Not to mention the shushes your parents would give you both when you laughed loudly at each other's jokes. “Kind of reminds me of us”

“Reminds you of us?” Mark asked, his voice clear of any displeasure and filled with nostalgia. He didn’t even care that Jaemin reminded you of him, but the fact that you equally cling onto the conversations you have.

If it’s one thing Mark enjoyed about your friendship, it’s the conversations. The mindless ones, where you go on and on about nothing, the silly ones that make you both laugh until your stomachs hurt, and the sad ones, the emotional ones that choke you up, but find comfort in one another. It was odd, even though you and Mark would speak for hours on end, eventually run out of things to talk about, the silence was never heavy, never uncomfortable, never too much. “Well yeah, all we do is talk too” You replied, chuckling as Mark gave you a tight smile. Clearing your throat in the silence, you gestured back to the guard who was waiting to escort you. “I gotta go, I’ll see you soon”

“See you” He muttered back, his face falling as you walked so quickly to the guard, like you were excited to see Jaemin.

What was so special about Jaemin anyways? He was kind, sure, and understanding, and he’s a listener, and sure, he’s handsome and a sensitive soul while also having a hard shell to use when necessary. But that could also be anybody, so Jaemin wasn’t special, he was just as normal and as boring as they came. However, how boring could Jaemin be if he has your attention? Especially like this where you smile so fondly at memories between you and him, but then again, Jaemin’s so boring that those memories get swept away by the memories between you and Mark. So, really, who is the winner here? Because it isn’t Jaemin. Why does Mark even care about a winner and a loser? It’s just Jaemin, he’s harmless, right?

“Gods, I’m a moron” Mark groaned out, putting his head in his hands as his crown gently hit his fingers.

“You really are”

Mark gasped in shock, jumping at the voice of one of his closet guards, Johnny. “Johnny, you scared me”

“I apologize, your highness” Johnny quickly bowed, apologizing for his actions. “But Sire, may I speak freely?”

“You already do” Mark replied, sitting down on one of the stone benches as Johnny approached him.

Johnny sighed, looking off into the distance as he tried to come up with proper words so as to not come off disrespectful despite asking to speak freely. Johnny had the utmost respect for King Mark, especially when no one believed that Johnny could be a good Head of Knights, but Mark believed in him and gave him the position. Johnny promised himself that day when being appointed was to not only protect the King of Eloweth at all costs, but to be respectful to the man who gave him the freedom to prove himself. However, Johnny also knew that Mark needed someone to push him, and who better than his Knight.

“You got to tell her you love her” Johnny confessed, feeling a bit lighter after telling the truth to him.

Mark raised a brow, not out of defiance or offense, but out of shock. He was shocked, love her? Of course he loves you, why wouldn’t he? “Excuse me?”

“The Princess? You love her don’t you?” Johnny asked, more rhetorical than a genuine question since everyone knew the answer.

“Of course I love her, she’s my best friend”

Johnny rolled his eyes, annoyed by the obliviousness Mark has when it comes to you. Love? Yeah he loves you alright, but not in a best friends kind of way that he describes. “Best friends my sword, you’re totally in love with her”

"You're going mad, there’s nothing between us” Mark scoffs, shaking his head at the mere idea that he could be in love with you.

Mark wasn’t in love with you, he couldn’t be. You and Mark were best friends and as much as a broken record it is, you are. Friendship was all you two had ever known with one another, courting and marriage and everything in between was never a conversation, never a feeling, you two were just bonded.

“What about that kiss?” Johnny asked, bringing up the infamous kiss that had such a good feeling in the moment, but a bittersweet after taste in his mouth.

“From her Unveiling?” Mark asked, trying to act cool about it all, as if he didn’t blush every time he thought about it when falling asleep. “That was seven years ago, we were just kids then. It didn’t mean anything”

“Then why did you write about it in that dusty old journal of yours?” Johnny asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You read through my journal?” Mark asked, standing up as he looked completely disheveled at the information. Johnny laughed at how Mark felt exposed. “Not cool!”

Johnny shook his head, watching how Mark was trying to keep his cool. “Oh no, I didn’t read through your journal”

“Thank Lords” He signed out in relief, knowing that Johnny wouldn’t lie to him, but still, how did he know about his journal?

“Prince Haechan and Prince Chenle read it when they were here a few weeks after the incident and told me about it”

Of course that’s how he found out about it. Mark groaned, rolling his eyes as he took a seat again. “I’m going to murder them”

“You can’t murder them, Sire. It’s again the laws of the land” Johnny replied, like it was a script he had memorized. Which he did, he had to memorize all the laws of the lands in order to be the Head of the Knights for Eloweth.

“I know the law!” Mark exclaimed, in complete distress that Haechan and Chenle read his super secret journal he kept in the second drawer of his nightstand next to his bed. Shaking his head, he decided then and there that he’d deal with the maniacs later. “Still, we were kids then. We did a stupid kid thing and we never spoke about it”

“Because you never brought it up” Johnny pointed out.

“She didn’t either” Mark sassed back.

“Because she was waiting for you to bring it up!” Johnny exclaimed, getting slightly frustrated with how dense the young King is. For a ruler of a whole Kingdom, he can show his age with how little he understands you. “Sire, with all due respect, you’re quite the idiot with women”

“So I’ve been told” Mark signed out, his shoulders slumping. “It’s too late to bring it up now. Happened years ago and she’s being courted by Jaemin, who is perfect for her, clearly”

Johnny chuckled. “Her and Jaemin won’t last, your highness”

“How do you know?” Mark asked, trying to come to terms with you and Jaemin heading down the path of marriage. Soon enough, Jaemin would go down on one knee and properly ask for your hand in marriage, then you’d meet him down the aisle. He tried to come to terms with it, tried to accept it and he’s already half way there in his opinion, but Johnny saying you two won’t last is making him doubt his own acceptance.

“Because she looks at you like you’re the Wishing Well. So much admiration and whimsy” Johnny confessed, always observing the young King and young Princess when together.

Ever since he became Head Knight who solely takes care of the King, he’s noticed how you and Mark interact. How you look at him with such magic, like he is the person whose breath and heartbeat you feel on your Kingdom lands. How Mark looks at you like you’re the one who will grant his every wish with a snap of your fingers. It wasn’t easy to not notice the soul connection your and Mark have, it was as clear as the water that surrounds you, as written in the stars as the ones your ancestors charted when they first discovered this land. You and Mark were everything, your friendship was blurred between friends and lovers and Johnny thought that that’s what makes you both so perfect for one another. How seamless it should’ve been, how easy it should’ve been to just court you.

“She looks at me like that?” Mark asked, his voice calming down and no longer looking like a beat up deer. Doubt creeping into his mind of how much he thinks you like Jaemin.

“I’d never lie to you, Sire”

“I appreciate that” Mark replied, taking a deep breath before letting it out. “So, what do you think they’re even talking about?”

Johnny shrugged his shoulders with ease. “Something with zero substance”

You and Jaemin were walking his lands, fields of green grass, the fog contrasted your own land that was constantly bathed in sunlight. It was odd, the fact that your lands were next to one another and such a different climate, like the land was speaking and showing different sides of itself. The air was warm, the grass was damp with dew, it seemed like such a far off land, like it wasn’t a part of the Seven Isles, it was its own little world.

“I forget how peaceful it is here” You say, breathing in the warm air as the sun briefly peaks through the fog. “It’s nice”

“Yeah, it is” Jaemin mumbled out in awe, his own gaze admiring his peaceful and quiet Kingdom. Jaemin has always been proud of his Kingdom, always been the first one to talk about it highly, always speaks with a smile on his face like his land is so much more than hills and valleys. He spoke about it like it had a soul, similar to how you spoke about your land. “It’s been a while since you’ve been here. Last time you were here was what? Five years ago?”

“Yeah, I think” You smiled politely as the faint memory of it all came back to you. To be completely honest, you mostly remember it because you and Mark conversed in whispers when night fell, trying to keep quiet as everyone else fell asleep. “I remember it was for your twentieth birthday and you only invited me, Princess of Lioralis, and Mark”

“Yeah, we ate and stayed up all night drinking the wine my mother only brings out for special events” Jaemin reminded, smiling fondly at the memory of you, drunken smile, giggly, happy, a radiant beam of light in his gloomy Kingdom and it fit so well. Jaemin remembers that night because of you, and you remember that just because of Mark. Tragic. “She got so mad, grounded me for five months”

“She grounded you?” You asked, shocked at how a twenty year old man could be grounded. However, it made sense, his mother is a sweet woman, but so strict as well. It makes you chuckle, the idea of Jaemin being locked away in his room for a month. “So that’s why I didn’t hear from you in a while”

“Yup, twenty years old and still get grounded” Jaemin joined in on your laughter, because it was ridiculous to think about.

“What about now? You still get grounded?”

Jaemin shrugged his shoulders, your footsteps falling in time with one another. “From time to time, mostly lectures now”

“Me too, lectures everywhere” You complained, your ears hurting as the echoes of your father ring in your mind. “Make sure to do this as Queen, make sure to do that”

“Never let your people down, Son” He quoted his father as you did yours.

“We really are neighbors, my father says the same thing”

“So, what is it like being Queen now?” He asked.

You paused, eyes squinting as you tried to think of what to say. What’s it like being Queen? It was a difficult question to answer because there wasn’t any. There was no answer, at least not a definitive one. “I don’t know, despite being Queen, I feel like nothing has changed” You explained, your words holding a certain weight that Jaemin understood. “My father still holds so much more power, still tells me what to do and what to say in his name. If anything, I feel like a speaker than a Queen”

Jaemin understood you, knowing that his own parents still kept him on a short leash when he was first crowned King. It was difficult to navigate the new title when you still felt trapped by the shackles of Prince or Princess. King and Queen felt so freeing, felt so real, and yet it still felt like a box you were trapped in. It wasn’t until a heated argument with his parents that he found out the truth for their control.

“You are his daughter, maybe he’s afraid to truly let go of you” Jaemin pointed out, an observation that didn’t make much sense to you.

“How so?” You asked, confused because your father, while keeping a short leash, always told you that despite him speaking to his people through you, you were still Queen. He isn’t King anymore because you are the new ruler and your word is final, despite him still convincing you to choose his words over yours.

“You’re his little girl” Jaemin began, wanting to give a new perspective. “Suppose you have a child and that child grows up and suddenly, they aren’t that little baby you held, helped, taught, were there to clean every tear they shed, and now they’re suddenly a ruler” You

listed intently, eyes burning into his as you both slowed your walk as he spoke with such conviction that it felt holy. “I’d equally be a little afraid to let my daughter go without the reins of parenting” He finished, making you slowly come to a stop in your step, your brain working and slowly understanding the newfound perspective.

“I guess I never thought of it that way” You mumbled out slowly, coming to accept the idea that your father. maybe, might not be ready to see you as a Queen because to him, you’re still his little girl that sat in his lap while he listened to his people’s concerns. You smiled, taking a step as Jaemin followed you. “You really have a way to put things into perspective”

Jaemin felt himself blush. “I guess I do, I don’t know” He knew he was good with his words, knew he could think intellectually and deeply, it’s how he was raised. However, hearing that praise from you, how he could show you a new perspective, something you hadn’t thought before, it was a compliment he took to heart.

“Do you ever think about children?” You asked, changing the topic easily as you didn’t want the conversation to end. Even then, you wanted to know.

“Like having them?” He asked, a little taken aback at the topic change. You nodded, not seeming fazed or uncomfortable and it made him ease into it, feeling safe with this. “I haven’t, but I wouldn’t mind having them. I think that with the right person, we’d be great parents”

You smiled, the image of Jaemin holding his baby, giggling and babbling at the silliness Jaemin would bring made you smile. “I think you’d be a great dad. You were raised by amazing parents, they were always kind when I met them”

“Well, they love you” Jaemin confessed, making you chuckle nervously before denying it all, but he wouldn’t let you. “I’m serious! When I told them I wanted to court you after your Coronation, they were ecstatic. Said that you’d be perfect, that you are perfect. Told me to treat you right and if I didn’t my mother would ground me for a year”

You both laughed at his joke, the tension growing as you gently made the first move, reaching for his hand and your fingers intervening together. “You better treat me right then”

“I definitely will” Jaemin replied with such certainty that your connection shifted. No longer was it Jaemin figuring out who to marry or you figuring out who would come with a proposal. Suddenly, it was a known fact that when Jaemin asks for your hand in marriage, you’d say yes.

“You’re back” Your younger sister said when you appeared at the front gate of the castle. She was walking around the castle grounds with a royal guard, observing the new flowers that were growing on the vines. “How was the date with Jaemin?”

You smiled curtly, the reality settling in that your small moment with Jaemin wore off. “It was nice, always good to see Velendra again”

“What about seeing Jaemin again?” She asked, a raised brow at how you chose your words. She knew you were careful when speaking, usually saying what everyone wanted you to say, so she knew something was up.

You thought for a moment, a sudden tug of war in your mind. “Jaemin’s sweet” You replied, walking past her to enter the castle.

“Sweet?” She asked, echoing your words as she followed you in with determined footsteps. You signed, wanting to head to your room and think about what you’ve done. “What do you want me to say?” You asked, waking up the grand stairs to the floor where your room was in the west wing.

“Something other than sweet, that’s all you use to describe him” She pointed out, a call out on how you use such rudimentary words with Jaemin. He’s sweet, kind, nice, did she mention sweet? It was all so simple, so easy.

You groaned internally, stopping in the corridor to look back at her. “He’s understanding”

“Understanding?”

“A gentleman?” You said, more so questioned to see if that word would suffice her.

Your younger sister cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms over her chest like she was interrogating you. “Why did you question it this time?’

“Will you stop that!” You exclaimed, getting annoyed with how pushy she is with trying to get something out of you. You took in a deep breath, your corset suddenly feeling too tight and uncomfortable with the attention your sister was giving you. “Jaemin is a good man, he’d make a perfect husband to someone one day” You said calmly, trying to be level headed.

“To you?”

“What?”

“He’d make a perfect husband to you, not somebody, you” She corrected, pouting out on how you said ‘somebody’. That somebody is going to be you, you thought it when you grabbed his hand, you thought it when he said ‘we’d be good parents’ you thought it again when he told you he would treat you right. The worst part is, you knew he’d do anything right by you. “He’s courting you after all”

“Of course” You replied, a little out of breath as you felt your words catch up to you. Your sister looked at you weirdly, a weird stare that felt like she was reading you like an open book, or a damn painting she was trying to figure out. “You’re staring at me weirdly” You told her, brows furrowed as you looked her up and down.

“Am I?” She asked, her brows raising as if she was questioning you about how you questioned her for looking at you weirdly. Gods, your sister was very good at these mind games.

You groaned, just wanting her to say whatever truth or revelation about you she wanted to share. “Yes, you are. Come on, say it”

“Your highness, if I may”

“Oh, shut up” You rolled your eyes at the silly title she teasingly calls you. “Just tell me” You gently hit her shoulder.

Your sister had her mouth open, ready to say something, but her shoulders and face fell before she said anything’s “I can’t tell you with that stupid crown on your head” She grumbled out, your hands reaching up for your crown. “Makes you look too much like mom”

“Fine” Your gentle hands grabbed your golden crown that imitated leaves and had five emerald gems hanging down. Your crown now was held in your hands as you looked at your sister with raised brows. “Out with it then”

She signed, clenching her jaw as she prepared her confession. “I don’t think you enjoy Jaemin as much as you say you do”

“What?” You asked, completely baffled at her words. You scoffed at them because how could she say that? Say it like it was a known fact? Like it was written in history books? “That’s an insane thing to say, of course I enjoy Jaemin. I think very highly of him”

“Yeah, highly, not fondly, or happily, or even lovingly” She pointed out, using more personal words than something you’d say to a stranger.

“Lovingly? We barely started going out a couple weeks ago” You told her, emphasizing how you only just started really talking recently.

Your sister held her hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying, when you first started hanging out with Mark, you said you loved his company”

“I was six!“ You exclaimed, growing frustrated with how she thought you didn’t feel as deeply for Jaemin as she supposedly thinks you feel for Mark. My vocabulary was minimal, it was either I love his company, or I hate it”

“You said Haechan was a degenerate at the age of five” She said, her lips pursed as she caught you lying. Sure, you never use big words on a daily basis, but when you feel something, something deep and real and raw, you use those big and beautiful words Mark teaches you, or you teach yourself to prove yourself to Mark. “Your vocabulary was more advanced than you think”

“That's-it’s-it’s not the point!” You stutter out, not knowing how to defend yourself when your sister feels so confident in her words. You gently shook your head, it was an unbelievable thought to think that you don’t enjoy Jaemin’s much as you do Mark. “Mark and I are friends, just friends. Of course I love his company and think Haechan is well, Haechan, that says enough” You explained, wanting her to understand that you and Mark are never going to happen. “Also, I had hung out with Mark for a full year before I said I loved his company, and the word I used was adored”

“That’s not helping your case” She replied sarcastically, as the word adore held more weight than love. You yelled her name, getting frustrated with how she was catching you in your words. Annoyance and displaced anger filling you up. Angry at her for how she twisted your words, angry at her at how she’s able to see right through you, and angry at yourself for not finding a way to get yourself out of this hole you dug yourself into. Sure, in another life it was going to be you and Mark, but it isn’t going to be this one. It’s too complicated, too much and too little all at once. You can never confess it out loud, how after your first kiss with Mark, you wanted to kiss him again the next day, and the next, and so many days after that. It wasn’t embarrassing to confess, it was horrifying, horrifying to know that you want to kiss your best friend, you want to hold hands with him, hug him for longer and do all the things you see your mother and father do. The longing stares, the adoration, the gentle touches of how your fathers pinky gently reaches out for your mother when they stand next to each other. That love was something you wanted to experience one day when you were younger, as you grew older the want expedited. However, when you kissed Mark, those wants came back because you wanted to do it with him. How scary is that? Because the next time you saw each other, he didn’t bring it up, he acted like nothing happened. Like your kids and feelings weren’t real, just a dream.

“I love Mark, I do” You said in a quiet voice, like saying it out loud would be taken out of context or for granted. “But him and I? We can never be more than friends, he knows it, I know it, and you know it”

“No one knows that” Your sister replied, her voice equally as quiet as your own. Like this confession, this realization was a secret that no one, but you two could know. You said her name gently, like a mother trying to calm their passionate child. Your sister wasn’t having it, after observing and watching and waiting for so long for you and Mark to finally get it through your thick skulls that you belong with one another, she couldn’t hold her tongue back. “So what? You settle for Jaemin thinking you’ll be able to fill that depressing Mark hole you have?” She asked, a look of disappointment covering her face, like she couldn’t believe her older sister, the one she looks up to, is using someone to get over the person she loves. “Jaemin is a person, not a replacement” “I’m not replacing anything or anyone!” You exclaimed, offended by how she painted you to be. You like Jaemin, you really do. You didn’t choose Jaemin because Mark didn’t choose you. Jaemin chose you, he had his fair share of women and today it changed and you knew he wanted you. You’d be happy with Jaemin, so happy and so fulfilled because it’s Jaemin. “Jaemin is a good person, I like him, I’ll eventually grow to be fond of him or even love him. I’m just not there yet” You confessed, knowing that your feelings for Jaemin were only creating a pond before harboring an ocean. “You can’t compare a young and naive child to an adult. I’ve grown, I know more about feelings now. I love Mark, but I like Jaemin”

Your sister signed at your words, understanding where you’re coming from, but still, she hated watching this. “You just seem so happy with Mark” She said, her voice lingering with sadness.

“You saw me at the Coronation, how did I look with Jaemin?” You asked her a question she could answer and see the difference between how you look with Jaemin versus how you look with Mark. Because not only did you think you looked at Jaemin differently, but you felt different things with Jaemin than you did with Mark.

With Jaemin, it was cool, a soft summer breeze that tickled your skin. He was sunny, sweet, and cold. Coldness might be a bad thing to some, but to you it was crisp, like the morning when you wake up and your room is the perfect temperature to stay in the warm covers in bed and just bask in it. He’s comfortable, he’s like a not so funny joke, but when you think back on it, the joke turns out to be funny. You don’t know how else to describe how you feel with Jaemin, other than sweet.

With Mark, it’s way too different. Mark isn’t cold, but he also isn’t warm. He’s a burning hot sun beating on your skin. Mark’s company, while enjoyable, is an all consuming experience. Mark takes up every space when you’re with him, it’s how it makes you feel, like he invades every single inch of your body and burns every inch of your skin. He’s like coffee, hot, thick, sometimes it sits heavy in your stomach, but you don’t mind it because it gives you a burst of energy. That’s how Mark makes you feel.

“Lost, lost in some kind of infatuation, maybe lust” Your sister listed off, the word lust falling so easily from her lips.

You looked down, your brain picturing yours and Jaemin’s laughs and easy conversations. “Jaemin and I flow, we have chemistry, he gets me and I get him”

“The thing about infatuation and lust, they run out. Because with Mark, you look at him with a pureness I only ever see when mom looks at dad” Your sister confessed, her truth hitting you in your chest.

In hindsight, she was right. Lust and infatuation fade as the rose tinted glasses begin to lose their color. Is it possible you’ll lose your color with Jaemin? No way, he’s the perfect choice for a husband, anyone would be happy to marry him, even you. Even you? The verbiage sounds like an interesting fact, something unexpected. However, Jaemin is the only person who showed interest in you, so might as well marry him. Does that mean that if someone else shows interest in you, you’ll deny Jaemin?

“If Jaemin asks me to marry him, I’m saying yes. That’s final” Guess not, you’ve made up your mind. If and when Jaemin gets down on one knee, your words will be yes without a second thought.

Your voice was so stern, so sure of yourself that your sister visibly shut down. You were lying to yourself, lying to others, lying to Jaemin. It was all a huge lie, or a coverup of feelings because of what? A marriage you needed? A reason to stay relevant in society? To appease it? It was sad to see, especially for your sister to witness. A younger sister looks up to there older sister, wanting to be like them, wanting to join them on every little thing to feel close to them. She remembers wanting a friendship like you had with Mark, the closeness, the comfort, the burning hotness you both had with each other. It was passionate, alive and real. Your sister wanted that with someone, and wanted to be like you. And now, watching you throw away your feelings in the name of an assumption that you both won’t work out so you settle for someone else? Not only was it tragic, but disappointing because marriage is a huge commitment, and to settle for someone? A real person who has real feelings? It’s distasteful.

“Of course, your highness” She replied coldly, taking her curtsy and leaving you in the big and empty hallway. The vines that were once so green and filled with flowers now looked sad, lifeless and the vines losing their color.

You signed, one of your hands coming up to rub your face. You shook your head, feeling heavy and gross. You turned around to walk to your room, your crown still staying in your hands rather than putting it back on your head.

It felt weird, being judged for your choice of groom by your sister. Honestly, you’d be happy with any person she decided to marry as long as she was happy. Did you not look happy? Is that why she’s so adamant that you’re not being truthful and judging you on your choice? Jaemin is the perfect choice and it’s not like Mark is objecting to the courting. Why were you caught up on this? So, who cares if your sister doesn’t approve, you approve of it, Jaemin does, so do his parents and yours, kind of. Okay, so you and your parents really haven’t had the talk yet regarding your relationship with Jaemin, but to be honest, you’re fearful for what they have to say.

Would they equally be as unhappy as your sister? Or would they be happy and want you both to be married now? When they found out Jaemin was courting you, it was met with a simple smile from your father, saying that Jaemin is a good man and a sliver of excitement from your mother, saying that Jaemin was handsome . They were simple reactions, because to them, courting was a stepping stone because someone else can always come along. However, now you’re thinking about marriage with him and how you’ll say yes. That’s a switch up that takes time, but for you, it only took a matter of a couple weeks.

Why the rush? Was society honestly pressuring you that much? Or was it all self-inflicted? Were you putting pressure on yourself because you felt your own time was running out? It was a difficult thing to answer, mostly because if you did, you would erase your feelings for Jaemin, writing them off as a result of your own pressure to marry. Jaemin would be a tool, not a human you felt genuine feelings for. You didn’t want to think of it like that, you didn’t even want to think of yourself like that, the kind of person who uses another because they feel the need to do something.

But then again, you could argue that he is also using you as much as you use him. Jaemin was transparent with you, saying how he is looking for a wife, how he is wanting to marry someone. He’s said he’s courting other women, some from far away lands and others right here on the Seven Isles. So, couldn’t he equally be settling down for you because you’re the only one whose shown an interest in marrying him? Is he equally choosing security over passion?

Cold versus hot is an ancient rivalry that still holds to this day. People love the cold and hate the hot days, while people loved and breathed the burning hot sun and hated it when it got below a certain amount of degrees. Could the same be said about love? How cold could represent the normality, the settlement, the peace and the predictable nature of love, while hot represented that passion, that grit, the complicated parts of it all that seemed so shaky that with every breath you felt like it was your last chance at love?

Hot versus cold, it’s safe to say if you had to choose the perfect kind of weather, you’d choose scorching days over a freezing winter.

“So, my darling, how’re you and Jaemin doing?” Your mother asked during dinner later that day. Her voice is quiet and soft.

Your fork stopped licking at the food in front of you as you looked up at her. You gave her a small smile, nodding your head. “Fine, he’s a gentleman. I like him”

“You like him?” She asked, raising a brow at this. You hummed like it was no big deal, nothing new. “What do you like about him?”

You began to think, simple things coming to mind. “He’s a good listener, makes me think about different perspectives, and he’s just so calm and yet can be funny with so much ease” Your smile growing on your face as you listed these things off.

Your mother looked at you with pride, a happiness in her eyes as she watched you barely gush at the idea of Jaemin and his qualities you find yourself liking. You never expressed much interest in boys, it was never a topic of conversation and you never had a crush. Or at least a crush on someone where you knew it was a crush. Your mother knew you had so much love to give and so much love to receive, honestly she thought Mark would be that person on the receiving and giving side. Your mother watched you and Mark grow up, both your mothers predicting that in the future, you and Mark would get married. It wasn’t a far-fetched idea as you two spent so many days together, it was obvious you both had a deeper connection than most that they both hoped it would turn into love. However, here you are, prematurely gushing about a different man.

“He sounds lovely” Your mother said, the food on her plate slowly disappearing as she ate away at the food the cooks made. “What about you my dear? Anything new?” She asked your younger sister who shook her head.

“Nope, same old same old” She replied, her tight lip smile over taking her as she pecked at the food on her plate like you did.

“Nothing to share?” Your mother asked, egging her on to create conversation at the table. Your sister shook her head again, making your mother sigh and look at your father sitting at the end of the table. “And you, my love?”

Your father looked up from his food that was being devoured. He cleared his throat, swallowing his food that was still being chewed in his mouth. “What about me?” He asked, clearly not in tune with the conversation at hand.

“Your day” Your mother replied.

Your father made a face of recognition, nodding as he tried to think of something to say. “Well, life as a retired King is treating me well. I no longer feel the impending doom that I will fail our people anymore” He chuckled, sarcasm oozing from his words.

“Your sarcasm makes me feel uneasy with my new role as Queen, father” You pointed out, making the table laugh with ease.

“Don’t be uneasy, my daughter” Your father said, reassuring you that everything is okay, that you are okay. “You’re doing great as a leader, carrying on our legacy with grace and pride, just like I knew you would”

You sucked in a breath, keeping in mind Jaemin's words and his perspective of things. However, you had to say something. “Speaking of, father, I’d like to ask you something”

“Of course”

“I understand I’m your daughter and you want to look out for me, but is it possible for you to…” You trailed off, his hand putting down his fork as he realized this conversation was turning serious with how you wanted to articulate your words. It was a maturity he’d grown to know, he knows when you’re serious and lighthearted. Right now he can sense that you’re being serious. “How can I put this nicely? Back…off”

“Back off?” He echoed, you felt yourself internally cringe at the way your words sounded coming from him. He furrowed his brows, trying to wrap his head around. “I’m not following”

“Well, whenever I address our people or they speak to me when I’m out and ask me questions, you always tell me the answer and want me to strictly use it” You explained, your words coming out slowly and carefully. You could feel the tension growing between you four. You could feel your mother watching you both with careful eyes and your sister slowly observing with watchful eyes. “I want to rule with the people, not rule with you”

Your father nodded his head, his face slowly hardening, not with anger or with discontent, but with a prideful look, one he used when addressing his people, it was one of a leader. “You forget I am King, I have been ruling far longer than you. I understand where you come from, however, I don’t want you to make mistakes when ruling, that is why I am guiding you in this time of transition”

“I understand, I just feel as though you have too much of a hold on me” You explained, feeling the restraint he had on you and your way of ruling. “I want your advice and want your wisdom, I just don’t want to feel forced to say words that aren’t mine” You pointed out, trying to come up with a compromise where he can have his input and you can listen to it, but you won’t use it unless you also agree with what being said. “I don’t want to be a cloned version of the King you once were”

“We’ll talk about this later” Your father replied, a tense smile on his face as he felt his heart pound in his chest.

“Father—”

He stopped you, his voice stern and low. “We will talk about this later”

You feel yourself swallow your pride, swallow your words and swallow your crown as you remember that this is your father, the great King of Caliriel for years. “Of course”

The rest of the dinner went smoothly, with calm conversation and speaking about the political and economic state of the Isles. Everything was fine, of course, no real issues since the early days. The tension between you and your father, it was felt, but not suffocating. You were both stubborn, it was a flaw you both had and it caused you both to butt heads. However, your father would be lying if he said it wasn’t one of your most admirable traits in his mind. Your stubbornness could be seen as strong, never one to back down from their decision once you set your mind to it. Your father found that inspirational, but also proud. He was proud because it was a trait you inherited from him. Anyone would say that you are your mothers daughter, both you and your sister are your mothers daughter's. You inherited her grace, her beauty, her courage, and all the sweet and peaceful things that melted all the cotton candy in the world. However, your stubbornness, your loyalty, your bravery, your pride, and your ambition to be the best Queen you can be, that all came from your father. Your father saw himself in you when those traits popped up, when your fathers personality peaked through, it made his chest swell with such pride.

Even though most of your disagreements were because of how stubborn you both were, he honestly wouldn’t trade it for the world because at least he knows that his daughter can hold up her own.

When dinner was over, you remained seated in your chair as your father did the same. Your sister looked between you both before standing up, bidding her goodbyes before heading to bed. Your mother signed, standing up before giving you both a glare.

“Please, respect one another” Your mother ordered, her gaze falling on your father. “Especially you, my love” Your father looked at her with wide eyes, confused at how he was the one singled out.

“What? Your daughter is the one who is stubborn!” Your father exclaimed, your mother shaking her head at him.

“And where did she get it from?” She asked, walking over to him to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Listen to your daughter”

Your mother gave you one last look of encouragement. You smiled at her and she walked away, you looked at your guards in the dining room, nodding your head to send them away for privacy.

Your father took note of this and looked towards you, his hand gesturing in front of him. “Plead your case”

“Father, if we could drop the formalities” You told him, not wanting to feel on trial for expressing your opinion. He gently hummed while nodding his head. “I’m not coming to you as a Queen, I’m coming to you as your daughter, your flesh and blood” You said, heart pounding so loudly you could hear the rhythm growing faster and faster as you tried to calm your nerves. “I love you and I love your guidance, but like I said, it’s like you’re still rolling over the people and not letting me hold the reins. I’m twenty five years old, I read every book, I did every lesson, I aced all the tests and I’ve proven myself over and over again that I am a good Queen. I don’t want to be a puppet any longer”

“You’re not a puppet?” Your father denied, questioning your choice of words. He scoffed, shaking his head as he felt his pride get attacked. “It’s quite offensive to think of yourself that way and to think I’m some sort of puppeteer”

“It’s how I feel” You replied. “I feel like I can’t do anything because it might not be what you want or what you might do. Father, you had an amazing reign, you ruled our people with so much conviction and everyone loves you for it. You were an amazing King. But I am Queen and I want to be better than you because I believe that in order for Caliriel to thrive, we must be better than the rulers before us”

“I was just trying to help” He replied quietly, voice curt and void of any real emotion as he felt the familiar wall of being King building. He signed, quickly recognizing how his King facade was growing directed to his daughter, he couldn’t have that. His wall diminished, looking at his daughter with the kind eyes he gave her when he wanted to come to an understanding. “It’s not easy hanging over the crown so easily to someone who hasn’t fully grasped the responsibilities that is running a Kingdom”

“I understand that I’m new to all of this, but that doesn’t mean you should undermine my ability to be Queen” You told him, his silence letting you speak again. “You said it yourself, I will advocate for my people and keep the peace between the Seven Isles. So, please father, let me be that peace” You said, your hand gently reaching over to touch his own.

“You really aren’t the young girl who begged for me to sing her a lullaby anymore” He pointed out, his eyes looking down at where your hand was gently resting on top of his. The memories of you as a young child, smiling so happily in your frilly dresses and crooked tiaras.

“Yeah, I’m not” You replied, sitting straight, crown sitting perfectly on top of your head and your dress more elegant than the last. The person your father sees now isn’t the girl he once knew anymore, it was hard to come to terms with. “I still need you and want your advice, but I don’t want to feel forced to speak for you to our people”

“I’m sorry, I guess I never realized how much of a leash I kept you on” He replied, the peaceful nature of his tone making you realize why Caliriel is the peacemaker it is. “It’s just, I look at you and all I see is that little girl running around the castle halls, giggling as she ran away from Princess lessons because she wanted to travel to Eloweth to see the Wishing Well, or to spend time in the Enchanted Forest and climb the trees”

“I know” You nodded your head, understanding his view of you. “I love you father”

“I love you too, my daughter” He replied, making you smile as the tension died and all that was left was understanding and a mutual agreement that he’d let you be the Queen he raised you to be.

“So, did you speak with your father?” Jaemin asks, his voice curious and filled with intent as he looks at you. He held your hand gently, his hands cold with yours, making your fingertips feel numb.

“Yeah, I did” You replied, following him to the stables on his land. “You were right, he was still seeing me as his little girl, but he said he would take a step back and let me rule without feeling forced to say something I didn’t come up with”

“That’s amazing!” He exclaimed, your contentment with your father raiding off of you and onto him. “I knew he’d come around”

“You know everything, Jaem” You replied, a joke that was supposed to generate a chuckle from him, however he remained quiet. You looked at him, a pang of fear as he looked at you with shock, his silence making you panic that maybe your joke didn’t lang.

However, Jaemin wasn’t in shock or silence because your land didn’t joke, in fact he intended to laugh with you, it’s just something else that caught his attention. “Jaem?” He asked, the new and unfamiliar nickname falling from his lips, echoing your own voice.

“In, Jaemin” You corrected, add the second part of his name back in your speech. You felt embarrassment run down your spine, your neck heating as you felt your face heat up as well.

“You called me Jaem” Jaemin teased, a smile growing on his face as you looked away, wanting to hide your heated face.

“What? No, I didn’t, I called you Jaemin, silly” You brushed off, still facing away from him, but he just laughed, a simple laugh that made you look back at him.

He seemed so touched, so enthralled by this little nickname that came so easily from you. You said it without a second though, said it as though you’ve said it so many times before, so comfortable with the syllable that it made his heart clench at the idea of hearing it again.

“You so called me Jaem” He scoffed out, looking away from you as he suddenly felt a familiar blush reach his face.

You shook your head, a light laughter falling from your lips. “I think you’re hearing things”

“You’re so stubborn.” Jaemin replied, his shoulder gently bumping into yours as he continued to lead you through his garden to the stables.

“So I’ve been told” You mumbled out, the stables coming into view as you looked over at Jaemin. “So, what’s the plan today?”

“Well, I was thinking we could go riding in the Enchanted Forest” He replied, his hand gently leaving yours as he reached for one his horse he’d been riding since he was a boy. “You told me you’ve been wanting to go, so I figured we could go together”

“Really? You remembered that?” You asked, a little taken aback at how he remembered and how he wanted to do it. Riding in the forest was always a pastime, one you slowly lost time for when you became Queen as that took up most of your time. You mentioned it off handedly, not expecting him to take note of it.

Jaemin hummed, nodding as he opened up his horse's stable. “Yeah, it wasn’t that long ago that you mentioned it”

“Jaem, I mentioned it like a solid month ago.” You reminded him, making him roll his eyes playfully, as if he felt insulted that he wouldn’t remember the things you told him.

“Well, maybe I just have an amazing memory.” He joked, making you laugh as he opened up another horse’s stable for you to ride. He grabbed the reins, handing them to you. “Come on”

You grabbed the reins, mounting the horse as he did the same. Both of you began riding, not going fast, but just trotting around. The path to the forest was nice, it was enjoyable to see a different way to the forest than the one you’re used to back on your own land. Jaemin’s path was filled with rocks and pebbles, trees and fog that added to the magic in the forest. It smelled like rain and wet grass, it was a sweet smell you grew to love.

Jaemin let you lead the way, following you where you wanted to go once you left through the gates and entered the green forest you love so much. The fairies zipping around, fire flies glowing and the critters running around and climbing the trees. It was beautiful, the laughter you and Jaemin shared while racing to get to the Four Brothers Rocks.

You won, obviously, Jaemin trailing behind you as your horse slowly came to a stop. Jaemin slowed down, his horse letting out some noises as you both took in the view of the four giant rocks that were curved around one another and the Blue Lake that glowed so brightly.

You signed, taking in the sight. “It’s so peaceful here, so quiet” You replied, getting off your horse as Jaemin did the same.

He chuckled, tying his horse to a nearby tree, prompting you to do the same. “You really do like the quiet, don’t you?” He asked, his question more of a statement because he knew you did.

“I love it” You replied with a smile on your face, slowly walking towards the lake. “It’s like when I’m in the quiet, it feels like time stops and I can be in my body and be here without having to worry about royal duties” You explained, the aftermath of the busy Queen duties catching up to you. You could feel the exhaustion, the stress and the pain you’ve accumulated in your shoulders after looking over so much paperwork. You bit your lip, sitting down on the plush green grass and Jaemin joined you as you both looked out at the lake. “I love my people, I really do, and I love Caliriel, but sometimes a quiet escape is freeing”

Jaemin hummed, his hand finding yours as he rested his hand on top of yours. You looked down at it, the coldness was inviting in a way. Usually, you’d want your hands to be warmed up, but Jaemin’s cold hands and nimble fingers felt more and more comforting.

“Did you always want to be Queen?” He asked, looking at you with raised brow.

“Not at first” You breathed out, an awkward chuckle leaving you when you began to think about being a kid. “I was a kid, so I didn’t understand the weight of it all. I loved being a Princess, the dresses, the tiaras, I hated the classes, but I also wanted less responsibility I guess?” You questioned, Jaemin nodding as he listened with such attention you’d think he had an assessment on this topic soon. You cleared your throat, beginning to speak again. “Growing up, I always knew what I had to do, who I had to be and I don’t know, I guess I ended up wanting to be Queen because that’s all I knew really”

“You didn’t have another aspiration? Like in another life, you would want to be?”

You began to think and all that came to you was you and Mark, sitting in your library or his garden with journals and pens scribbling away with every thought you’ve both ever had on the cool paper that smelled so nice.

“A writer maybe” You answered, nodding your head as you felt sure of your answer.

Jaemin perked up at this, not expecting it, but also not surprised. “A writer?”

“Yeah” You mumbled out, chuckling as you remember having to ask Mark for synonyms for words as you didn’t want to repeat so much. “As kids, Mark and I, he always used big words and I always had to look them up because I didn’t know what he was talking about. I thought he was so pretentious and so annoying with that, but it got me to read more books and I ended up picking up his language and I don’t know, I ended up liking to write” You smile warmly ag the memory, Jaemin taking note of how almost every memory you’ve had starts and ends with Mark. It’s so interesting how intertwined your lives were to Jaemin, how much you spoke of him and how much you cared for him. “We both ended up writing together, silly little things, or essays because of lessons, but we also just wrote stories as kids. It was fun”

“You and Mark really are close” Jaemin pointed out, not malice and no jealousy, just a pure observation that made you look at him with confusion. “I never fully noticed it until now”

“How so?” You asked, intrigued with how he got to this point.

“Every conversation we have, he’s always mentioned”

You felt yourself blushing in embarrassment. Did you honestly bring him up that much? Did it annoy Jaemin? No, he didn’t sound annoyed, but his tone can only tell you so much of his inner thoughts.

“Do I mention him a lot?” You asked, a short sitter in your words as you felt guilt forming in the pit of your stomach.

Jaemin shrugged his shoulders, not bothered by your close friendship with Mark. “He’s been in your life for forever, I’d be surprised if you didn’t”

“Yeah, he really has been in my life for a while” You mumbled out, almost shocked by how long you’ve known Mark. Sometimes it surprised you, how much time you’ve spent with Mark over the past twenty years, other times it felt like no time had passed. Shaking your head, you took in a deep breath and looked at Jaemin with curiosity. “What about you? Did you always want to be King?”

“No, Gods no” Jaemin chuckled out, relaxing a bit as he knew that he didn’t want to be King and didn't want the responsibility of anything that came with it. He was born into it, it felt more and more like an obligation than an aspiration. “I hated the idea of becoming King, I hated how much pressure I had and how much responsibility I had. Don’t get me wrong, I think that pressure made me the person I am today, but for a kid? I don’t know” Jaemin explained, you understood his dislikes of it, understood the indescribable pressure and the amount of responsibility the title had. While other kids worried about exams over basic mathematics, you were worried about peace treaties and how to abide by them and even write them.

“What did you want to be then?”

“A doctor”

“A doctor?” You asked, brows raised as he smiled happily at the thought he had as a child.

“Yeah, a doctor” He reaffirmed, mind flooding with the familiar memories of running around with a stethoscope and checking everyone’s and everything’s heartbeat, even the inanimate objects, he’d check the heartbeats. “I wanted to help people, wanted to cure them in any way I could. But, as I grew up I realized that I could help the people by being King, I couldn’t cure them from illnesses, but I could help aid the doctors here with anything I can”

You felt your heart skip a beat as his golden heart. His nature is healing, it was hard to deny, it was careful and clean. “You’re a good person, Jaem” You said softly, your body slowly and naturally leaning in.

“Yeah, you too” Jaemin mumbled out, his free hand gently coming to cup your face, his cold hands making a shiver run down your spine.

You felt your gaze look down at his lips, his own looking at yours. It felt right, felt like that peaceful nap in the middle of the day. Once his lips hit yours, sparks didn’t fly and nothing exploded. It wasn’t passionate, and wasn't filled with heat or hunger. You honestly thought it was lackluster. However, it was quiet, gentle, and so silent that it reminded you of Jaemin as a person. This kiss was Jaemin putting himself in it, giving himself to you with this one kiss. So, no, it wasn’t this new candy you were trying, it wasn’t home and it wasn’t even yours, it was his. You honestly felt guilty for feeling this way, knowing that it felt more like Jaemin kissing you than you both kissing one another, but that didn’t mean you didn't like it. You did, you liked the kiss, you enjoyed it. You love the quiet so you loved the kiss, it was like you’d done it a million times and maybe that was the problem.

Is it possible you’re too comfortable with Jaemin that it just wasn’t there? The sweetness of a candy? The smell of wet grass and trees? The simple breeze that was such a sweet melody when you walked through the forest? The smell of paper and books, how the dust tickles your nose but you didn’t mind because—no. Your mind can’t go there. It’s Jaemin, it has to be Jaemin. Jaemin is the quiet, the fog and the comfort you’ve grown to love about your relationship with him. You weren’t settling because it felt normal or because you felt like this was it. Jaemin is a good man, he’d make anybody happy, even with just a smile, that person feels important because that’s just how Jaemin makes people feel, even you.

And yet, the kiss, it couldn’t compare to your first.

“Come in” You voiced when hearing a knock at the door, your paintbrush grabbing more paint to throw on the mess of a canvas. Painting was a nice hobby you once had as a child, putting your feelings onto a canvas and watching the picture slowly come to life. Being Queen however, it made you drop several of your hobbies, but in the small moments you had to yourself, you either wrote, read, or painted.

The royal guard that was assigned to you entered your room filled with your paintings. “Your highness, King Lee of Eloweth is here to see you” Yuta announced, making you look over at him in shock.

“Mark is here?” You asked, your painting drying with every passing second you tried to remember if you were supposed to meet up. What is he doing here?

Yuta nodded, his head held high when speaking to you. “Yes, your highness”

“Let him in” You replied, watching as Yuta left your room only to reappear with Mark in tow. Yuta closed the door to leave you both with privacy, even though he could faintly hear your voice from outside the doors. “What’re you doing here? Were we supposed to meet?” You asked, setting down your palette on a nearby desk, along with your paintbrush in a jar of water.

Mark shook his head, seeming so calm and yet so frazzled, like him arriving was a last minute decision. “No, but I’m not busy so I decided to come” He lied.

Mark wasn’t busy, sure, but he didn’t exactly have enough free time to make the visit to Caliriel. After all, it was a three day journey. However, Mark hadn’t seen you in a while, not since you had to leave to see Jaemin for your supposed date. Mark missed you and it wasn’t a crime to want to see your best friend, it equally wasn’t a crime to end your meeting with the King of Marithen because you claimed you had an important matter to attend to, especially if the King didn’t know that the important matter was seeing his best friend. But, that’s all besides the point.

“You decided to take a three day journey to see me?” You asked, very much confused at how Mark could just up and come here despite his busy schedule.

Mark shrugged his shoulders. “One and a half, I kind of took a horse here and you know me, I ride fairly fast”

“I see” You mumbled out, your arms crossing over your stomach as you looked at him with a questioning face. “Is everything okay?”

“I haven’t seen you in a couple weeks, or heard from you” Mark replied, sounding a tad desperate since he felt as though you’d gone off the face of the Earth. No message, no meet up, it was silent in your end. “Got me worried, I guess”

“Worried? Mark, I’m fine”

Mark nodded, looking around the room as he grabbed the baoding balls you kept near. “Is everything going well with King Na?” He asked, his gaze fixated on the smooth balls rotating in his hand to fidget.

“Jaemim?” You asked, dropping the honorifics as you expected Mark to do since you all knew one another for almost all your lives.

Mark cleared his throat, finally looking up at you. “Yeah, Jaemin”

“Everything’s fine with him” You replied, confused at how awkward it felt talking about him.

Mark nodded his head, mumbling small ‘Cool, cool’ under his breath. You slowly looked away from him, looking back at your painting as you tried to remember where you were with it. Mark noticed your silence and walked up to you, his gaze following yours tk the canvas and noting the familiar sight he was seeing.

“You’re painting again?” He asked from behind you, his voice quieter now, making it hard for Yuta to listen in on.

“I had a free moment” You replied, shrugging your shoulders as you stepped away from him, beginning to clean all your things. “I have a few duties to do in a few moments, so I don’t have much time”

“I see” Mark replied, watching how you moved from place to place, cleaning your brushes and drying them with your smock apron. Mark looked back at the painting, noticing the familiar trees and the shimmering Blue Lake you both would visit when you learned how to ride horses. “You’re painting the forest again?”

“You know I love the forest” You replied, turning around to look at him studying the painting.

“That I do” He said, a small smile growing on his face as he looked at you with those brown eyes that reminded you of the night sky you both looked at. “I remember for a solid four years of my life, you always gifted me a painting of the forest every birthday”

“Hey, you loved my paintings” You defended yourself, Mark humming as he looked back at the painting.

“I did, still do” He corrected, making your heart do this weird flip and your stomach felt like it was falling. Clearing your throat, you continued on with drying your plant brushes.

“So, why are you here?”

“To hang out? Isn’t that why we always see each other?” He asked, looking over at you, confused as to why you kept asking him why he was there, as if he was an inconvenience to you.

“Yeah, but we usually plan them out, why the sudden drop in?”

“Can’t your best friend be spontaneous?” Mark asked, his voice rising in pitch as he tried to act cute.

You raised a brow at him, shaking your head at him. “You’re not the spontaneous kind of person”

“Is Jaemin spontaneous?” He asked suddenly without missing a beat, it caught you off guard, but maybe Mark was curious about the kind of person Jaemin is.

“Yes, but he’s also a planner” You replied gently, watching as Mark continued roaring the metal balls in his hand to ease his growing awkwardness.

Mark remained silent, setting the metal balls down on a nearby table. Spotting the chair in your room, he quickly took a seat, relaxing as you continued your pace around the room. “Is he planning your engagement?” He asked, making you turn around, looking at him like he was a little insane to bring this topic up. “Unless, you’re already engaged”

You signed, dipping one of your brushes in a jar of paint water. “No” You replied, shaking your head.

Mark sat up, your response catching his attention. “But you will be, if he goes down properly on one knee”

You felt yourself go silent for a few beats, the reminder of how this courtship with Jaemin will inevitably end in marriage. You told your sister this, so why was it somewhat difficult to say this to Mark? You picked up the paintbrush, the dirty paint diluted water dropping from its bristles as it met your damp smock.

“I’ve already decided that if he asks, I will say yes” You replied, not looking at Mark until the final words came out of your mouth. Yes, you will marry Jaemin and you’ve decided on that already. It was different hearing it from you, how certain you were.

“You want to marry him?” He asked.

“He’s a good man, Mark” Mark noticed how you didn’t say yes that time, just going back to your usual praise of Jaemin. It lost meaning the more and more you said it, at least to Mark it did and maybe also to you, you just hadn’t realized it yet. Or did you?

Mark scoffed, not liking your answer as anyone can be a good man when raised right. “So is Haechan and you’re not lining up to marry him”

“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before” You pointed out, making Mark look at you with a blank expression, waiting for your explanation. “No one else has courted me so I choose Jaemin, or more so, Jaemin chose me. I’m happy with that”

“Yeah, but if someone else courted you, would you still marry Jaemin?” A new perspective opened up, one you hadn’t really thought of, but still, that wasn’t the reality.

“Depends on who that person is” You replied, knowing that if someone better came along, someone better than Jaemin, maybe, you might marry them. But again, that’s not the reality. “I like Jaemin, that’s just how it is”

“But do you love him?” He couldn't help but ask. You were his best friend, the subtle worry of you not being in love with someone and marrying them? It scared him, that you’ll end up in a loveless marriage and resent your title and resent him, especially yourself. The last thing Mark wanted was for you to be unhappy.

You felt your heart drop, the silence thick as Mark stared you down like you were on trial and he was the judge. “Excuse me?” You asked, perplexed at the question he asked you. Love? You barely missed Jaemin a few days ago and suddenly the question of love comes up?

“Do you love him?” He asked again.

You scoffed, clenching your jaw at the absurdity Mark questioned you with. “Love is further down the line, but fondness? That’s right now”

You heard a gentle knock, signaling for Yuta to come in. He stood tall, feeling the tension, but feeling it simmer down as well as you were both interrupted. “Your highness, it is time”

“Time for what?” Mark asked, not ready for you to leave yet.

“Royal meetings with some important people in our Kingdom. Nothing major” You shrugged off, taking off your smock and placing it randomly on a stool. You smoothed out your dress and put your crown back on. “How do I look?” You asked, turning around to face Mark who got up from his chair.

“You look prepossessing” Mark replied shyly, a curt smile as you felt the growing heat in your stomach you assumed was indigestion, not because of Mark and his too big of words that made you blush with ease. “You are prepossessing"

You chuckled, trying to play it cool. “I’m assuming that means beautiful?”

“You’re picking up my language” He smirked, feeling a bit flirtatious, but quickly cleared his throat before it went too far into uncharted territory.

“I’ve picked up a couple more books” You pointed out, the easiness of conversing coming back. “I have to go, I’m sorry we could only talk for a few moments”

He shook his head, fully understanding your leave. “It’s okay, you have important things to do”

“I’ll be back in two hours, if you’ll still be here?” You asked, prompting an impromptu hang out with him as he was already here.

“I’ll always be here”

You smiled widely, Mark seeing it so friendly and never romantic. However, you bore all your teeth to him, a shimmer in your eyes, a pureness you only ever showed with Mark. “I’ll see you in two hours” You replied, having a bit more pep in your step as you approached Yuta who held the door open.

“I’ll be counting down the seconds” Mark replied cheekily, making you laugh. The sound echoed through the halls and into the room, making Mark feel full with life.

It was odd, the feeling you gave him when you did anything. It was gushy, sweet like candy and warm like fire. It was so much better than honey and so much warmer than the spring in Aurethiel. It was beautiful, the sound of your laughter filling his ears as it made his brain go all fuzzy. Everything about you reminded him of home, of the wishing well, the magic that fills the air of your land, and the wonder of life, the impossible questions to answer and the philosophical reasonings behind the world. You were an impossible thing to him, something he wants to figure out forever, despite him knowing everything about you, he wants more.

Mark Lee wants you. He hadn’t admitted it before, not until right now as he watched you walk away from him, laughing because he made you laugh, smiling because you knew he’d still be here in two hours. Mark did that to you and he wants to keep doing it until you take your last breath, even if he’s already buried deep in the dirt.

Mark felt his smile falter as the realization that he wants you settled in. It doesn’t falter because he doesn’t want to want you, it falters because of you and Jaemin. Jaemin was your supposed future, at least in your eyes and Mark will be damned if he steps in the way of that, in the way of your supposed happiness. Even if you don’t love Jaemin.

“You’re pathetic Mark Lee” He mumbles out, taking a lousy seat back in the comfy chair he got up from. Mark sighed, shaking his head as he couldn't believe his thoughts.

Wanting you? Mark Lee never wanted you, well, he never realized he wanted you. When you both were kids, it was never a thought because there was no room for it. Kids were curious things, silly little creatures that didn’t have the compacting for the want of another person. All Mark knew was that he was enamored with your company and wanted more of it. You were best friends, it all felt platonic because again, you were kids and the concept of love and affection was foreign to you. You both just had a deep fondness for one another and everyone knew that. But then that stupid kiss you both shared, yeah, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing, but that didn’t make it mean any less.

The kiss was innocent, inexperienced and sweet. It was so juvenile that even though you both expected the kiss to break you both up, it didn’t. Mark continued on like nothing happened and you did the same because what was the point? If both of you were too scared to say anything but also too scared of the aftermath and the potential falling out, why risk it? So, you both remained quiet and the subtle want of one another subsided. It was buried deep in your chests, locked away and it wasn’t brought up again.

However, that didn’t mean you both didn’t have your moments of romantic tension. How Mark would sneak glances at you when you didn’t look, how during his Coronation, you were the only girl he danced with, his hand lingering longer on your waist and pulling you closer than a friend should. It also didn’t help that you would write about him in your silly journal, small things about his smile, his eyes, his stupid dad jokes he likes to tell you, how he chuckles before telling you something new that he learned or found funny, or how he’d use new big words so much until they lose their meaning, only to find new ones to use. Small things you took note of stayed with you in your pages you kept under your pillow.

Maybe you wanted Mark Lee as much as he wanted you, but you were yet to realize that, because Jaemin was still at the forefront of your mind. Even during those two hours of meetings, all you could think about was a potential wedding with Jaemin, how handsome he’d look, how cold his hands would be as his warmth tended to radiate in his chest. How you’d be happy, at least you think you’d be happy. Of course you’d be happy, anyone would be happy to marry Jaemin, anyone. But why were you questioning if you’ll be happy or not? This was Jaemin after all, it’s not like you were marrying Mark.

Your marriage with Mark would fail as fast as him riding from Eloweth to Caliriel. You wouldn’t be happy, but how would you know if you didn’t try? You were happy with Mark now, the only difference would be a ring and a ceremony, and a kiss, and a consummate, and potential children. Huh, yours and Mark's kids would be cute—that’s not a right thought. You should be thinking about kids with Jaemin, a marriage with Jaemin, and yet, it all seemed fuzzy. It wasn’t clear like the imaginary marriage you thought of with Mark just now. How clear his face was, how clear the image of you and him dancing at your wedding ceremony and how clear the mixture of your facial features with his plastered on little bodies that run around the castle halls.

That image was clear, why wasn’t Jaemin’s?

When the meeting was over, yours and Mark’s hangout was like any other. Giggles, laughter, silence and quiet. It was peaceful and like there was no space between you two, no break, just a continuation. It was so fun, funner than you expected, dare you say you prefer your hangouts with Mark than Jaemin. Was it because there wasn’t the looming expectation of marriage? The ease of being with Mark because there was no ending? You didn’t know, with Mark it just felt right, easy, and not quiet, which is weird because you love the quiet.

Even in the silence, when there was nothing else to be said between you two, there was still noise. The subtle shift of Mark moving around, how he gently hummed himself, how you would sigh every now and then as you messed around with something. It was quiet, but not empty. It was full, small sounds and movements made the silence not deafening, but like white noise. White noise, you preferred it over the quiet.

A few months passed and the new season was upon you. Spring was blooming, the grass was becoming greener and the vines were blooming new flowers that exuded so much joy and abundance. You and Mark were outside in his garden, a blanket on the plush green grass as the Wishing Well echoed your past and future wishes. You were writing down in your journal about the previous day where you went on a date with Jaemin and how you could feel a proposal in your future soon. You smiled to yourself at the idea, the idea of marrying Jaemin, the idea of being his wife. It was a nice idea to picture.

Mark caught you smiling at your journal, he was writing too, mostly about his duties of being King, but he was mostly watching you write. After realizing how he wanted you in a way that went deeper than friendship, he began to analyze every single situation where he was with you. Even from the beginning of your friendship as kids, he over analyzed it. He began to think, when exactly did he end up falling so deeply into you? And how?

Mark came up with no conclusion, no set date or moment of when he ended up wanting you and no real reason as to how this happened. All he knew was that you were best friends and he always wanted you around, loved your presence and was enamored by your peaceful existence. How you crinkled your nose when you didn’t like something, how you always stay true to yourself and your decisions, you don’t back down, your stubborn, but he finds that as a power rather a weakness or a negative trait, and he finds your sensitivity to your Kingdom and the way you treat Mother Earth so inspiring. Mark loves you, he always has, and at some point in time that love turned into something so deep that it felt like you were running through his veins, you were in him and without you, the world felt obsolete.

Every interaction, every lingering glance he gave you, every time he replayed that kiss in his head before sleeping, it all meant something. Your first kiss meant something to him, but he was so scared, he was only nineteen and so scared of what you would say, if you would reject him, or worse, say it didn’t mean anything because it meant the universe to him. You meant the universe to him, every smile you had, it was a new star in the sky, every laugh, a new planet in the solar system, every cry, it was a black hole and every single time you said the words ‘I love you’ a supernova. Even if those words were platonic, he took them to heart. You were Mark Lee’s universe and that scares him, even more so because you weren’t his, you were Jaemin’s now. You were Jaemin’s universe.

“What’re you smiling about?” Mark asked, a teasing tone as he felt a smile reach his lips as he thought, a deluded thought, that maybe you were writing about him.

You looked up at him, chuckled as he caught you. You were sitting up, leaning against the bricks of the well as he laid on his side propped up on one arm. “I’m writing about my date with Jaemin”

Mark felt his heart plummet, the flutters disappear as disappointment and reality hit him like a truck. Of course you were, why was he thinking otherwise? It was Jaemin you wrote about now, Jaemin you wished to see now and Jaemin’s presence you craved. However, their was one straw that Mark gripped with his two hands, Mark’s name was the only name you’ve whispered in the Wishing Well.

“Yeah? What about it?” Mark asked, trying to be supportive, but his heart tugged at the idea of you and Jaemin being happy.

God he hated it, he hated it so much. He felt jealousy, something he had yet to deal with or acknowledge. Mark wanted to be happy for you, he really does and he was, back when he didn’t realize how he felt about you. However, everything is different now because his realization was only in his head. Mark had yet to say it out loud, that he loves you so much more than a friend. It was one thing to say it in your head, it was another to let the words fall out of his mouth. And he knew that if he said them, it would become real, Mark didn’t know if he wanted that.

Again, you both were best friends, it was all you both ever were. Feelings were never a topic between you two, you never discussed feelings for one another because they were never recognized. You both never really had crushes and you never spoke about relationships like that. You and Mark were just in each other's space, you were each other's person, that was enough for you both. Except now, so many years down the line after that first kiss, suddenly, everything Mark had ever felt about you hit him like a train and he doesn’t know what to do.

He wants to tell you, tell you that he believes he loves you, but he doesn’t know if he can because he doesn’t want to mess up what you have. Mark doesn’t want to be the bad guy in your story, doesn’t want to be a catalyst for a falling out between you both or between you and Jaemin. If Jaemin made you happy, that’s all Mark cares about, but that selfish part of him, the small voice in his head that is yelling at him to tell you, to yell at you to not marry Jaemin or even think about Jaemin, but to marry and think about him. It was wretched to even think about saying those words.

“Well, he’s acting weirder” Mark perked up at this, weird? what did you mean?. “He’s acting like he’s hiding a secret and I asked my sister about it and she said that maybe he’s planning to propose”

Your smile was infectious, it was so proud and happy, like the idea of marrying Jaemin was exciting. Mark felt his heart crack. Propose? Of course, that’s how the courtship ended, with you and Jaemin at the end of the aisle and wedding bands on your ring fingers.

“Proposal, huh?” Mark asked, trying to hide his hurt with a fake smile, one you didn’t notice as your mind was flooded with thoughts of marrying Jaemin. Mark sucked in a breath before letting out in a puff. “That’s uh, that’s a serious commitment, you sure you’re ready?”

You looked at him with furrowed brows, why was he asking you that? “Of course, this has been the endgame all along. I knew I had to marry someone and Jaemin’s here”

“So you’re only marrying him because he’s here?” Mark asked, another person questioning your intentions with Jaemin.

Everyone knew you and Jaemin had to get married, everyone had to get married at some point. It just happened to be that you and Jaemin were looking for partners at the same time and ended up liking one another. It wasn’t a crime to go into a courtship and expect marriage at the end, that’s usually how it goes. You don’t understand why Mark and your sister constantly ask about your real and deep intentions with Jaemin as if they don’t realize that it was a matter of chance that you and Jaemin were looking for the same thing. If they were in your shoes or Jaemin’s, they would expect marriage just like you.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it” You replied, offended at how easily he can accuse you of this. Shaking your head, you set aside your journal and looked at how annoyed and antsy he looked. “What’s up with you? Why are you suddenly against this?”

Mark scoffed, avoiding your gaze like a child. “I’m not against it”

“Yes you are”

“I’m not, it’s just” Mark groaned, standing up as he couldn’t sit down and face you anymore. It was too much and he knew what was coming, he knew it was happening now. The worst part was, he couldn’t stop it, he couldn’t stop his words from falling out of his mouth and this is what kept the conversation going. “I just find it odd that you were telling me how you don’t want to get married and all of a sudden, you’re like proposal this and wedding that”

You followed his example, standing up yourself. “I can change my mind Mark, and even then, I like Jaemin”

“It’s been months and you still can’t say you love him” Mark pointed out, making you even more annoyed at how detailed he wants you to be. It’s as if he wants you to describe every fiber of your being and feelings you have for Jaemin like some poet:

“You’re being so nitpicky, what’s up with that?”

Mark’s face went cold, face falling as he stared burned your eyes. “Do you love Jaemin?” He asked the familiar question everyone asked you.

Love? Everyone wants to know if you love Jaemin, why can’t they just accept that you feel with Jaemin, you breathe with Jaemin and you enjoy your time with Jaemin. Isn’t companionship enough? because for you, it was.

You felt appalled by his question. “What? Yeah, what kind of a question is that?”

“You didn’t say yes” Mark pointed out, making your shoulders slump as you felt a greater divide between you and Mark, a divide you’ve never felt before with him.

“I didn’t say no either” You said in a low voice, teetering a whisper and Mark could feel the animosity growing. Your jaw clenched as you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself as Mark continued to stare at you, like he was trying to look at your soul to see the truth. “Yeah, I love Jaemin. He’s a great guy, is genuine, handsome, a great King as his people have told me, and is great company”

“You really want to marry him?” Mark asked, his confidence depleting as he realized how your stubbornness, a trait he used to adore and admire, was being used towards him in a way he wasn’t used to.

This stubbornness wasn’t just about if you’ll go outside or not, or that you really want to go to the Wishing Well tonight and no one else can change your mind. This was different, this wasn’t a simple stand, this is a commitment. Mark is terrified that your stubbornness is going to make you do something you may or may not regret. But also, your stubbornness isn’t letting you see how desperate and pathetic Mark is. He’s asking you, in a subtle way, to not marry Jaemin, to end things with him because you know you want to.

“Of course I do”

Mark’s stomach flipped, his mind racing and his heart breaking. It stung to hear those words, for you to sound so sure of yourself like you came to terms with this months ago. And you did, you really did and he knew that, of course Mark knew you were serious. It’s just, hearing it now, when you’re annoyed with him, it makes it sound all the more real. It was too real, Mark was losing you and he never thought he would.

“And if I told you not to marry him?” Mark asked, his question leaving his mouth before his brain could tell him to shut up.

“What? What're you talking about?” A whisper of your voice, confused and so small that it made Mark realize that he’s dug himself a hole.

“Don’t marry him”

“Why?” You asked, feeling pained at how Mark is telling you to not marry the person you want to marry and you don’t know why.

“Why?” Mark asked, taking a step closer to you. “It’s so obvious, you know why”

His face turned from cold to warm, so fast and gentle. You could see that familiar shine in his eyes, how it looked like tiny little stars. Mark’s eyes flickering to your lips every few seconds, like he’s contemplating kissing you again after seven years. You know this because he’s giving you that same look he gave seven years ago, right before you both leaned in and he gave you the world's best birthday present. That same soft look that made him look younger than his age, that made him look so pure that it reminded you of the way your father looks at your mother. Mark is so confusing, you think to yourself. One second, he’s kissing you, the next he acts like nothing happens and despite there being tension, he doesn’t say anything. You both moved on with your lives and now? After seven years it hits you like a tidal wave. Mark doesn’t want you to marry Jaemin because he wants you to marry him.

Your face fell, shaking your head as you took a few steps back. “No, don’t, don’t do this” You quietly begged him, not believing a word he’s saying.

“I can’t let you marry him” He mumbled out, taking steps towards you, but you kept taking them back.

You gulped, looking away as you felt a wave of unresolved emotions hitting you and suddenly you felt eighteen again, wondering why the boy you thought you liked didn’t want to discuss your first kiss with him. Your steps came to a halt as you whipped your head towards him, eyes narrowed as tears blurred your line of sight.

“Why? Because we kissed seven years ago? It’s been seven years, Mark! Let it go!” You exclaimed, wanting to be happy with Jaemin after being indirectly rejected by Mark. You made peace with the fact that you and Mark would only be friends. You honestly thought he felt the same way, but suddenly, it’s like a flip changed in him.

Mark shook his head, his voice desperate as he grasped at anything to keep you close to his heart. “I can’t let it go, it’s all that goes through my head when I think about you and Jaemin together”

“You’re—no, no you can’t be saying this” You scoffed out, bringing to walk away, but Mark followed you.

“I have to, I can’t let you marry someone you don’t love” He confessed, his words striking a chord in you. How dare he say that, he doesn’t know what you and Jaemin have and he’ll never know or understand.

“And you think I love you?!” You yelled, turned around to look at him. Mark froze, taking in your angry face, furrowed brows and narrowed eyes, watery eyes and a flushed face. You were so angry with him, so angry at how he can suddenly come in after so many years and confess so easily that he loves you. How? How can he do that knowing that you’re going to be married to Jaemin at some point. “Mark, I had such deep feelings for you as a kid. I knew I held love for you, I just couldn’t tell if it was platonic or romantic until I kissed you on my eighteenth birthday. Suddenly, it’s like everything clicked and I knew I loved you so much more than a friend and I assumed you loved me too”

“I do—”

“But you don’t!” You yelled, stopping his words as you tried to calm your erratic breathing. “Because the next day we saw each other, you pretended that nothing happened”

Mark felt pain hit his chest. You were both such cowards and just missed each other by a mere miscommunication. All of this could’ve been avoided if one of you had the courage to bring it up.

“You didn’t say anything” Mark whispered out, feeling that familiar pang of rejection when he realized how you wouldn't bring up the kiss.

“Because I was terrified!” You exclaimed, growing tired of his excuse. “I was so scared that if I brought it up you’d tell me it was a mistake or-or that it was nothing” Your hand angrily ripped away a stray tear as it fell down your face. Mark felt so guilty watching you cry because of him. How could he do this to you? He’s hurting you all because he didn’t want you to marry someone else because he wants to marry you. “Gods Mark, just as I start to feel something for someone else, you go and do this?”

“I didn’t mean to make you upset”

“What did you think was going to happen?” You asked, laughing sarcastically as you looked at this beautifully sad man standing in front of you. His confession made your eighteen year old heart flutter, knowing that girl deep inside you would’ve hugged him and kissed him so hard. However, you weren’t eighteen anymore and you had different ways of thinking. “That I was going to run into your arms and say I love you too? Leave Jaemin to his own vices as if we both haven’t been together for the last few months?!” Your voice raised with every word until you stopped, trying to catch your breath as so many feelings boiled over. You shook your head, jabbing a finger at his chest. “You don’t get to do that, you don’t get to stand there and tell me you love me after seven years. I won’t let you ruin what I have with Jaemin just because it all suddenly hit you like a train”

“Please—”

You shook your head, holding up a hand for him to stop talking. “No”

You walked off, your heart hammering against your chest as his heart laid on the once green grass, beaten and broken. It felt so final, the way you walked off and how he didn’t follow you. It felt like a chord was severed, it wasn’t clean, it wasn’t straight, it was frayed and messy. Despite it feeling so strange to hear those words come from him, you knew you couldn’t go back.

You had genuine feelings for Mark, real ones from when you were younger. They weren’t dealt with, they always remained, but they were buried deep inside of you. They were dormant until Mark said those words of implication. A confession jumbled your mind the more you walked away from him. This couldn’t be happening, not when you were so ready to marry Jaemin.

“You’re here?” Jaemin asked, his voice slightly groggy with how the sun was down and torches were lit. He was confused seeing you and your guards at his gate. “Thought you were with Mark”

“Yeah, sorry. Is it okay if I stay here tonight?” You asked, your brain still scattered due to Mark’s voice replaying in your brain. Don’t marry him. “It’s late and I don’t want to have my people ride in the night”

Jaemin instantly nodded, no second guess, not hesitation. He’d do anything for you, even lie for you. He’s perfect, and yet those words kept replaying in your head like a mantra. “Of course, you’re always welcomed” Don’t marry him, how can those words echo your mind when he so easily lets you in his home.

You smiled softly. “Thanks Jaemin”

Jaemin and his guards let you and your people in. They took the horses to the stable while the guards went off as they knew you and Jaemin were safe in the castle walls. That and Jaemin gave one stern look to his own guards and they scattered, dragging yours with them.

“So, how was your time with Mark? Was it fun?” Jaemin asked, genuinely interested in your time with Mark.

He was always so interested. Jaemin likes to listen to you, likes to watch how your lips move so fast with how fast you speak or how slow they move when you slow your speech down. Jaemin noticed things, even stuff he shouldn’t. Like how at the mere mention of Mark's name, you tensed up, your body going ridged like something happened that he shouldn’t know about. It worried him, but he’s not one to pester.

“Let’s not talk about that” You said through a small smile, Mark’s agonizing face pleading with you to change your mind. “Let’s talk about something else”

“Okay” Jaemin nodded, continuing to lead you to a spare room in the castle. Jaemin cleared his throat as he remembered the familiar invitation to a wedding coming in this morning. “King Yang Yang is getting married”

Your eyes went wide. “Yang Yang? From the Northern Kingdom?"

“Yeah, insane huh?” Jaemin chuckled, making you let out a breath of air as it hit you. You were all grown up, everyone you were kids with, suddenly, they were married.

“Hes the first one of us to get married, anyone who was first it would’ve been insane” You pointed out, shaking your head at how insane it sounded. Yang Yang being the first one was shocking, he always joked too much and never took things too seriously, it’s surprising for him to marry someone. Even then, if Mark married someone first, it would still be shocking.

“True” Jaemin said, turning the corner before coming to a slow stop in front of a door. “Marriage is so weird”

“How so?” You asked, turning to be in front of him.

He let out a huff of hair as he decided to tell you his fears about marriage. “Spending your life with someone? So much commitment”

It’s not that Jaemim was scared of commitment, he knew that he could commit, it’s just the future that scared him. Living with someone, loving someone, kissing someone, holding someone forever? It scared him because he can’t picture it. Jaemin can’t picture being married, not even to you. Jaemin wants to marry you, he does, but he honestly can’t see it happen. He can’t see the early mornings with you, the softness of married life with you, and he can’t see the children that had a mixture of his face with yours. It hurt him that he couldn’t see it, it was all blurry.

“Yeah, I agree” You replied, taking his words not to heart, but into perspective.

It is terrifying, being tied to someone for eternity. However, despite disliking the idea of marriage, you couldn’t help but find something beautiful about it. It’s nice to see your parents be so in love and get married, it’s nice to think about the pink and cute life of it all. It’s just the actual marriage that you hate, what it meant for you and what it meant to other people. Right now, marriage feels more like an obligation that you chose to disguise as choice.

“But I think there’s something beautiful about that. Like, wanting to spend your life with someone, always wearing a wedding band connecting you both like a string. It’s kind of beautiful to think about and wonder what it would be like to say vows and seal the promise with a kiss” You explained, a soft smile on your face as you thought about an alternate universe where you loved marriage and enjoyed the reality of it rather than despising the idea. Jaemim stared at you, like something clicked. Suddenly, his future was clear, despite it being so hazy just a few seconds ago, despite it being so invisible, suddenly, it’s like you went in and wiped the lenses for him. Suddenly, Jaemin can see the soft mornings, the quietness in the air as he took you first thing in the morning and the last thing he sees at night. The faces of your children were clear as day, they had your smile and his eyes, your nose and his lips. You could feel how cold his stare was, not mean, just sending a shiver down your spine. “What?”

Jaemin blinked once, then twice, and suddenly, the ring that he hid in his nightstand that once belonged to his mother felt lighter. “Nothing. Just, stay tomorrow, just for a few hours?” He asked, grabbing your cold hands into his own cold ones.

You didn’t question it because it was Jaemin. Predictable. “Okay” Jaemin smiled and wished you a good night after saying that this was your room for the night.

The night was peaceful, cold in the room, but warm in the sheets. Despite it being so easy to fall asleep, you couldn’t close your eyes without your mind wandering back to Mark. His confession wasn’t a real one, he didn’t say that he loves you, didn’t say that you should choose him, but it was all implied. You think that’s what made it worse, how you knew what he was trying to say, knew what he meant when he begged you to not marry Jaemin. Everyone suspected that there was something deeper between you and Mark, always a feeling, and it was always voiced. People asking if you and Mark are going to get over it and make it official, people from different parts of the world asking if you and Mark were married. However, you and Mark always denied it, saying that you were just friends and nothing more because you weren’t.

It was complicated, some days you found yourself wanting to hold Mark’s hand, other days he found himself wanting to hug you for a bit longer, and some days you both felt the urge to kiss one another. The problem was, you both felt as though the feelings weren’t reciprocated, so you continued on as friends. Until now, suddenly, friends felt like a flimsy old blanket that was falling apart at the seams, it was old and useless. Suddenly, friends felt like a phony way of hiding behind a plastic wall to avoid the real conversation. Mark loves you and deep down, you knew you loved him too. But you can’t love Mark, not when Jaemin is down the hall, asking you to stay. You want Jaemin to be your future, you don’t know why, but you do. Jaemin is so perfect, so beautiful and a good person that you know he’d be a good husband.

But Mark was also perfect, he’s kind, genuine, heartfelt, and sensitive. Mark would be a good husband to you, you knew this since the time on the balcony on your Unveiling. You both knew that you’d be perfect for one another, it’s why you kissed, because it was an unconscious thought that manifested into a reaction. That kiss was supposed to happen, these feelings were supposed to happen and this implied confessed and you understood what he was going to say was supposed to happen. You know Mark like the back of your hand, he’s familiar and well known. Mark is your best friend and yet, you can’t marry him. Not because you don’t love him, you do, but you're terrified to lose him.

You are terrified that if you and Mark marry one another, you might resent each other. That the feelings you have will turn sour, that they wouldn’t last, that they would fade away and you’d be stuck with one another. Being friends with Mark is so much easier than being lovers, you’ve proved that once with how cowardly you both acted after you kissed one another. If you both couldn’t confront each other then, how can you confront each other now. You won’t, it’s already been proven. Rather than saying the words, don’t marry him, I love you, Mark left it up to you to read his mind, to read the implication and assume that he’s confessing his love for you. Sure, maybe it was romantic how you could read his mind and understand what he meant without needing words, but just from a look. However, you didn’t want that, you didn’t want to have to assume and know based off of vague words or a mere gaze, you wanted words, you needed words. Maybe if Mark said I love you, marry me instead, you would’ve.

That’s a horrible thought to have, why would you think that. A mere few words is enough for you to throw away everything you have with Jaemin? You’re pathetic for that, but it speaks volume to how much Mark has you. This was all more complicated than it should be, you have to decide here and now who you want to be with. Jaemin, the perfect prince charming that you enjoy, or Mark, the best friend who you know too much for your own good.

“So, why did you ask me to stay?” You asked Jaemin, the morning was crisp and his hand held yours in such a firm way, like he was sure of something. You didn’t know what though.

He smiled widely, all his teeth showing as it made you furrow your brows. “Come, I want to show you something” He dragged you down the hallway, you quickly trying to fall in his steps, but always one behind, leaving you to stumble.

“Okay” You chuckled, your stuttering steps as he continued to speed down his castle halls. Turn here, down the steps there and what seemed like forever led you to a set of double doors. You looked at Jaemin inquisitively, confused at why he led you here. Jaemin let go of your hand and pushed the doors open. Your face fell in shock, a gasp leaving your lips when you walked into a room that was like mirrors into the Enchanted Forest. “What is this place? It’s beautiful”

You were in awe, how the glass walls felt endless, how the room felt like you were stepping outside into the forest. While it was artificial, it felt so real. The cold, the grass and moss, the smell of wet grass and the cool breeze that made the leaves shift.

“Velendria has hidden rooms in its castle, this is one of them” Jaemin explained, losing the doors that were made of glass on the inside. When the doors closed, the four walls of the room felt non existent, like you were outside. “It’s supposed to emulate the Enchanted Forest and its grand tree”

“It’s amazing” You whispered, looking up to see the familiar trunk, the large branches and the leaves that held a special magic in it. How the lights twinkled in the leaves and how the trunk held every memory you had as a child running around. You looked over at Jaemin, smiling softly, but confused. “Why show me this?”

“It’s my favorite room to kill time” He replied, equally looking around and feeling his nerves slowly come down. “I come here when I need quiet, peace, even to just take a nap. This place makes me feel more at home than in my room. That’s how you make me feel” He explained, his voice soft as it impacted your chest with a soft thud.

It skipped a beat, and just for a moment, you felt a pit in your stomach. It wasn’t a good feeling, it was an uncomfortable one. You don’t know why, but it felt heavy and gross. You were his home, that’s what he was telling you. You should feel over the moon, feel happy and excited and yet, all you feel is weird.

“Jaem” You mumbled out, an unreadable look on your face, like you’re internally cringing, but also happy? You felt a mixture of emotions, the bad ones outweighing the good ones right now.

Jaemin, however, didn't notice. The one time he didn’t notice was the time he was confessing this sudden change in his brain chemistry towards you. “I love you, I don’t think I realized this until last night. Hearing you speak about marriage, how you came to me when you needed a place to stay. I just, I love you and I want to marry you” It was his first time saying those words, so foreign on his tongue and yet, it didn’t hit you or him as much as he expected. He expected a grand feeling, fireworks or something, but there was nothing. No explosion in his chest, but it was too late now. Jaemin got down on one knee and pulled out the little box he had in his coat pocket. “So, uh, will you marry me?”

You stared down at the ring, how it was the ring of his mothers. Small and dainty, shimmering in the Enchanted Forest you loved so much. While artificial, still real enough. Jaemin is enough, enough for you to say, “Yes”

“Mark! King Mark! King Mark Lee!” Johnny yelled his name, his sword clanking against his leg as he ran down the hallway to exit the castle. “Mark Lee!” He yelled again, running down the steps of the palace to enter the grand garden.

“What?” Mark asked, hearing Johnny's yells and huffs coming from behind. “Can’t you see I’m busy?” Mark asked, gesturing to his journal in his hands, getting ready to write down everything his heart desired.

“She’s—wait, let me catch my breath” Johnny panted out, bending over to catch his breath. Jesus, he forgot how large the castle is and how much he should work on cardio. “Lords!” Johnny exclaimed, standing up straight only to lean back as his lungs inhaled as much air as he could. “She’s—oh, my gods, she’s, she’s getting married?”

“She’s getting married?” Mark asked, acting shocked because who is Johnny talking about right now. “Right, who is she?” Johnny held his breath before letting it out, his face falling as he didn’t need to say your name, because Mark knew. Mark felt his stomach drop and his heart ache. You were marrying him, you really were. “Oh”

“Oh? Just oh?!” Johnny yelled, feeling more passion for the loss of you and Mark. “I ran all the way here after hearing this from your mother for you to say oh?!”

“There’s nothing to say” Mark replied, sitting down on the bench, slumping his shoulders and taking off his crown. “I told her not to marry him and clearly she is. There’s nothing to say”

“What about telling her you love her?” Johnny asked.

“I did” Mark pointed out, his eyes softening at how Johnny looked at him with surprise.

His eyes went wide, Mark actually told her? No way. “You said, I love you?”

“Well, not in so many words” Mark replied, sheepishly as he raised a hand to scratch the back of his neck. “I implied it, she got the memo”

Johnny scoffed, crossing his arms as he shook his head at himself “Implying is not the same as saying. You gotta tell her”

“I’m not gonna tell her if she already knows! Besides, she’s getting married to Prince freaking Charming, Jaemin” Mark replied, bitter at how perfect Jaemin is.

“She doesn’t love Jaemin though”

Mark sighed, leaning back in his seat, not looking at Johnny. “At this point, I don’t think she doesn't love him. She has to have some kind of feelings towards Jaemin that ran deeper than surface level”

“Yeah, but they’re not as deep as her feelings for you” Johnny pointed out, scoffing again before joining him on the bench. Johnny was trying to be encouraging, trying to be that hype person Mark needed to gain the confidence to actually confess to her and not leave it up to interpretation. Johnny smacked Mark’s arm, trying to up the energy. “Come on! You’re inseparable! You’re each other's other half, it’s so obvious it was always supposed to be you two”

“Clearly not, she said yes” Mark moped, trying to come to terms with the idea of you no longer being a Choi, but a Na.

Johnny could see Mark’s light slowly die out. “You can’t let her go”

“I have to” Mark replied, finally looking at him with his sad doe eyes. “She’s clearly happy with Jaemin”

“She’s not!”

“She is! And that’s okay, Johnny” Mark denied, not wanting to speak about this anymore. You were marrying Jaemin, he can’t do anything about it as you’ve made your decision. “I want her to be happy”

“The only way she’ll be happy is if she’s with you” Johnny pointed out, wanting Mark to understand that this was true. Johnny has only ever seen you and him be truly happy with one another. Just like your sister said, there’s this pureness, this innocence that wraps around you both like a bubble, shielding you from the world. It’s something she’s only seen with your parents. “You both are so stubborn”

“Me? I’m stubborn?”

“Yes, you are” Johnny replied, laughing because it was funny how much people say you’re the stubborn one between the two of you, but in actuality, you and Mark are equally as stubborn as the other. “She loves you so much and if you can’t see that because you want to hide behind this wall of ‘If she’s happy, then I’m happy’, then fine” Johnny scoffed, standing up as he began to feel fed up with how easily Mark was giving up.

“Why are you giving me so much attitude?”

“I’m a hopeless romantic” Johnny replied, shaking his head as he turned back to look at Mark. Young and so in love Mark and how hurt he looks. “It’s always been you two. Don’t forget that”

“You’re getting married?!” Your sister yelled, standing up from your bed to look at you like you were insane.

“Sister, you knew this was coming, don’t act surprised”

“I am! I am surprised!” She exclaimed, nodding her head as she began to cross her arms over her chest with furrowed brows. “What about Mark?”

“What about him?” You asked, confused as to why Mark would be a part of this conversation.

“He loves you!” She yelled again, like you were thick headed and nothing ever got to you. You signed, slumping your shoulders as you knew you would get her long peach about how you and Mark were meant to be together. “There I said it, I’ve been keeping it in since forever, but he loves you”

“I know he does” You replied calmly, like the information didn’t bother you even though it still kept you up at night.

“No, he loves you, loves you” She stressed, looking at you with a pleading look, not wanting you to marry Jaemin. “Like in love with you, like insanely in love with you”

“I know!” You exclaimed, clenching your jaw as you looked away from her. You took in a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. “He told me. Told me not to marry Jaemin”

The tense atmosphere immediately dropped, your sister no longer upset and agitated, but diffused. Her shoulders softened as she slowly sat down next to you on your bed once more. “Did he tell you why?”

“Wasn’t a hard guess” You mumbled out.

“Do you love him?”

“I don’t” You said, your gaze focused on the floor as you tried to refocus your mind on Jaemin. “I choose Jaemin, I pick Jaemin” You said once more, trying to convince your sister and yourself. It’s like Mark’s implied confession altered your thought process, suddenly, choosing and picking Jaemin didn’t feel like enough and didn’t feel solid. It was shaky and misguided, it felt more like an action than a reflex. “Jaemin is perfect on paper and he did something about his feelings. Mark can spew his words of adoration to me all he wants, it won’t change how he let me believe for so long that my feelings weren’t reciprocated. He didn’t do anything. Jaemin did”

The more you say these words and the more nonsense you say, just trying to justify your choosing, it feels more and more difficult.

“You’re choosing wrong”

However, you’re stubborn, so you’ll continue the convincing and continue the small white lies. “I’m not. Jaemin is my future, Mark is a mere innocent part of my past” You explained, nodding your head more to yourself than your sister. “A small part of me will always love Mark, I think it’s the young girl inside of me that always saw him as a person I never wanted to leave. But he’s not the person I see myself getting married to right now. It’s Jaemin.”

“You’re going to regret this, you know that right?” Your sister asked, trying to find your gaze and honestly, you had enough of the same question and conversation so much.

“Why can’t you be happy for me?” You whispered, looking at her with doe eyes, hoping that would work. Sometimes it feels like you’re the younger sister with how observational she is.

“I’m your sister, not your friend” She denied, shaking her head. “I’ll be happy when you’re turkey happy and not lying to yourself because you won’t let your younger self grow up” Your sister got up and left your room, the door echoing shut that it made you close your eyes.

When you opened them, you looked at your left ring finger. The way the diamond was shaped, how the gold band wrapped around it, shining like little stars. It was nice, pretty, dainty, and cute. Just like Jaemin was. You signed, closing your eyes and laying back down on your bed, feeling heavier than the ring on your finger.

Why were you so heavy? Why was your brain not thinking clearly and yet your words were confident? Why were you contradicting yourself and hiding your true feelings? Maybe it’s because you’re in too deep with Jaemin? You didn’t know, but all you knew was that you’re marrying Jaemin and Mark was invited to the wedding.

“How’s the dress, your highness?” Miyeon asked, standing up as she let you view the dress with a blank face.

“It’s…” You trailed off, your eyes scanning the silk, the way it hugged you, how it flowed at the bottom. It was so simple, easy, and comfortable. It wasn’t tight, wasn’t loose, wasn’t even ugly, it was just easy. Jaemin is easy. This wedding is easy and your feelings for Jaemin were easy. “It’s a dress”

Miyeon’s face fell, feeling horrified that you hated it because she would hear how out of place you sounded. “Do you not like it?” She asked, eyes wide as she instantly tried to change the angle of the train or maybe it was the veil as she rearranged it behind you.

“No, it’s exactly what I wanted on paper” You replied, knowing that Mieyon could read your mind so easily when it came to making dresses. It’s why you appointed her as your seamstress when you turned eighteen. “It’s just, it’s not feeling right” You winced, not feeling right anymore. Suddenly, your ring was blinding you, not lighting up a room like it did when you first saw it. It was heavy, your body was heavy, your attitude towards the wedding was slowly turning sour.

“Not feeling right?” Miyeon asked, sensing the way the mood shifted when the words came out of your mouth.

“I feel, not like how I thought I would feel” You revealed, turning around and grabbing the dress to step off the small platform. You signed, letting it go as you stared at her with such desperation to feel the way you imagined you'd feel.“I thought I would feel euphoric or excited or-or nervous. Instead I feel kind of dull” Your shoulders slumped, taking a seat on the vanity chair that sat in the room.

“Well, we could change the detail, maybe move the hemline down, cinch in the waist a bit more” Miyeon instantly shot out ideas, grabbing the parchment that held your design as she started scribbling away.

You signed, shaking your head as you watched her frantically try to fix what she made. “If you cinch it in more, I won’t be able to breathe” You joked, trying to lighten the mood, but the comment didn’t land as Miyeon looked at how down you looked. Usually brides were ecstatic, happy, and glowing. You were right, you look and feel dull.

“If I may?” Miyeon asked, following your lead and sitting down as well on a seat. “How are you feeling about this wedding?” She asked lightly.

“Well, Jaemin is mostly taking care of it. Said he didn’t want his future wife to be stressed” You explained, slightly smiling at how considerate Jaemin is, how he acted and how he cared for you. You slightly perked up at how some memories of Jaemin spoke to you with that soft voice as he showed you different things.“He showed me some flowers, I couldn’t decide and he chose and then he showed me some decorations I couldn’t decide and he chose again” Your smile slowly fell as you felt funny about it. Jaemin chose everything, he made everything, this felt more and more like Jaemin’s wedding than both of your weddings. It wasn’t his fault, you just felt a little out of it. “I just feel a little spaced”

“King Jaemin makes a lot of choices for you” Miyeon replied, making you look up at her, looking rather calm than in a cloud of gray.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m indecisive”

“Not when you’re with King Mark” She crossed her legs, perking up at how you tend to challenge Mark a bit more.

“Not you too” You groaned, growing annoyed with how much everyone expected you and Mark to end up together, like they were all planning on it.

“It’s hard to ignore” Miyeon mumbled, smiling as she remembered being a young kid, watching you two interact at Caliriel events. How jealous she felt watching you both because she craved to have a friendship like that, a real love like that. “When you’re with Mark, you are more assertive, more confident and yourself with him. With Jaemin, you’re passive”

“I trust Jaemin” You replied and she nodded.

“I don’t doubt that, and I bet you trust King Mark as much as you trust King Jaemin. But I wonder why you choose to be more yourself around Mark if Jaemin is the one you love” Miyeon explained, making you feel caught in a lie you didn’t know you said.

Shaking your head, your pride was making you stubborn. The last thing you wanted, as Queen, was to be seen as someone who loves another person so they wouldn't love another. “I won’t give into this propaganda that Mark and I are supposed to be together”

“It cannot be propaganda if it holds some truth” Miyeon stopped you, swallowing you saliva as you felt as though Miyeon was holding up a mirror to yourself. She saw right through you and you hated it. “Your highness, you’re settling for someone who, while yes, is perfect on paper, isn’t perfect for you. You need someone who makes you feel like you can speak freely”

“I speak freely with Jaemin all the time” You denied, making it sound like you can speak to Jaemin easily and freely. In reality you don’t, you hold your tongue with him, you let him speak more than you do, and you let him create the moments and conversations rather than creating them with him. This relationship you had, it was more Jaemin than you and Jaemin.

“Yes, but you lose your breath with Mark because he makes you laugh so hard, you curse at him when he’s being, forgive my words, stupid, and you can get angry with him and yell at him and still be okay because you know that Mark will forgive you as easily as you forgive him” Miyeon said, making you reminisce on how she was right. You could get angry with Mark, he could get angry with you, and yet you never held grudges against one another because you both could always fix your problems. Even then, your friendship was bigger than any argument you both could ever have, because forgiveness is easy with him, it was right with him. “Can you yell at Jaemin? Even say one bad thing about him”

“There’s nothing bad to say about him” But, your stubbornness had other things to say, because how can you confess now that you honestly don’t want to marry Jaemin, you just wanted to marry the idea of it all. The idea of marrying someone or your Kingdom, marrying someone for the idea of your family. It was too late, you can’t say this when you're getting married so soon. “I can’t love Mark the way he loves me. Not now, back then? Of course, but it’s too late now, Jaemin is the one I’m marrying”

“You’re so stubborn” Miyeon scoffed, knowing how you were spewing lies because it’s not that you don’t love Mark, it’s because you can't and you don’t want to say it out loud, because if you do, it all becomes real and too much to lose.

You groaned again like a child, standing up as you paced the room. “I’m not being stubborn about this. I like Jaemin, I love Jaemin, he’s great and everything sweet in the candy store. He’s a good person” You confessed, trying to convince her about your feelings. You stopped pacing as you looked down at her. “So, I’d appreciate it if you'd just help me and figure out how to fix this dress for the wedding” You ordered, a stern tone coming out as you went back up on the platform, head held high as you stood up straight.

“Of course, your highness” Miyeon replied, standing up and bowing before going to fix some things mindlessly as you softly ordered her around.

It was the night before your wedding, your family was in Velendria, staying in the royal castle with Jaemin and his family. His family resided in the west wing while your family resided in the east. You were trying to fall asleep, however, your mind wouldn't let you. It’s been like this ever since Jaemin proposed to you. Eye bags under your eyes as you tossed and turned in the unfamiliar bed as the moonlight etched into your room through the curtains. You signed, throwing the sheets off your body as you got up from the bed. You grabbed your robe from the hanger next to the bed, throwing it on as you stepped outside on the balcony in your room. You stared outside into the clear night, the cool breeze hitting you as you drank in the silence. The stars were shining and the moon was full and bright, it made you feel real, realer than you’ve felt in the past few weeks.

“You okay?” You heard your mothers warm voice ask as you turned around to see you standing at the doorframe.

You hummed, nodding as she stepped in as you followed her steps. “Yeah, I’m okay, just getting fresh air” You replied, your mother joining you on the balcony as you both leaned on the railing, looking out at the hills and valleys.

“Cold feet?” She asked, looking at you with concern. If your mother was honest, even she wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of you marrying Jaemin, especially with how you looked at Mark with such light and at Jaemin with kindness. Your mother isn’t denying that you don’t have feelings for jaemin, she's sure you do, they just don’t run in your veins the same way your feelings for Mark do.

You didn’t shake or nod your head, it just dipped as you looked at your hands. “Sister thinks I’m making the wrong choice”

“Are you?”

You took in a deep breath before letting it out. Jaemin is too good of a person to say no to, but Jaemin is also too good of a person to lie to. However, that’s what you're doing, lying to him and yourself. “No, I’m making the right choice” You whispered.

“So why worry what she thinks?” She asked, wanting you to come to the conclusion yourself rather than taking your sister's reaction to heart. Your mother knows how close you and your sister are, how she takes your words to heart and how you take her just the same. You were able to be honest with one another, brutally so and it altered your decision making which wasn't always the correct way to go.

“Because what if she’s right?” You asked, sounding sad and desperate for someone to tell you that what you were doing was right. Wanting that validation because you couldn’t get it yourself. You were so unsure if what you were doing was right ever since Mark told you that he loves you, ever since Jaemin got down on one knee and said that he loves you and presented you with a ring. “What if I am making the wrong choice and I’m not realizing it until right now”

“Why would you be making the wrong choice?” She asked, gently running a hand through your hair in a comforting manner as you felt stressed with the inner conflict your unconscious and conscious mind was going through.

“I don’t know” You winced, clenching your jaw as your brows furrowed so much in worry. “I just, it’s all happening so quickly” You whispered, looking at your mother who looked at you with the same worried face you gave her. You straightened up, her hand falling from your hair as your arm extended to your room. “I barely met Jaemin a couple months ago and now I’m getting married to him tomorrow!” You exclaimed, your arm falling as you felt tears rise up in your eyes.

“It’s usually what happens in a courtship” Your mother responded, trying to be the calm in the crazy storm on your mind. You groaned, running a hand through your hair as the cold breeze began to nip at your skin, making you shiver. Your mother could see something else going on, something that went deeper than pre wedding nerves. “My darling, what’s really wrong?”

You looked over at her with a sad look, a look so sad that your mother felt her heart crack. Why were you so sad? “Mark told me to not marry Jaemin, because he loves me”

“Mark loves you?” She asked, a little surprised that he actually confessed to it, and the fact that he confessed to it first. She honestly had bets that you’d confess first. “Finally” She whispered under her breath, but you heard her and shoved her arm.

“Mom!” You exclaimed, groaning as you put your head in your hands.

Your mother shrugged her shoulders, not wanting to sour her mood as she wanted to be that light that pulled you out of your dilemma. “What? I’m not surprised, he’s always looked at you differently than everyone else” She pointed out, remembering how Mark always looked at you with this whole soul, how even a natural disaster wouldn’t tear away his attention to you.

“Yeah, but, why tell me this now and not when I wasn’t being courted and thinking about marriage?” You asked, knowing that if it was better timing, it would’ve been Mark waiting at the altar for you, not Jaemin. This seven years battle would’ve been solved and tied if you both had just said something, but you both chose to say nothing, waiting for the other person to say something.

“Confessions are never perfect, sometimes a confession is just that, doesn’t need action, doesn’t need a response” Your mother explained, making you look at her with that same sad look in your eyes, and yet, you didn’t feel sad, you just felt drained. Your mother gave you a soft smile, knowing that tomorrow, you’d make the right decision for yourself and not for other people. “Maybe Mark just felt the need to say something because everything bubbled over”

“It’s just horrible timing” You shook your head, looking back out at the foggy night.

“When would’ve been good timing?”

You signed, standing up straight. “Like seven years ago”

“Would you have been ready?” Would you? Would you have been ready to take that risk? Being with Mark and no safety net of being friends, because one wrong argument, one wrong anything could’ve jeopardized your entire relationship.

“I’d like to think so” Maybe you wou;’ve been ready, ready for that love, that commitment, that intensity of letting yourself be in love with your best friend. Things would’ve been so different, maybe you would’ve been married by now, maybe even have kids by now with Mark. Little kids running around with your eyes and his laugh, your hair and his nose, or maybe one would be exactly like you and the other like Mark. It was nice to envision it in these fleeting moments. “I love Mark mom, I really do, but it’s too late”

“Then why obsess over it?” Your mother asked, knowing why you would obsess over it, but wanting you to come to that conclusion. The feelings you claim to not be strong enough, the timing you claim to be too far gone, it was all here, it was happening right now. You just didn’t see it yet. “You’re getting married tomorrow, if you’re having second thoughts, Jaemin deserved to know”

A sleepless night is what you had, the sun slowly rising as soon as you felt comfortable enough to fall asleep. Waking up to the burning sun in your eyes with the loud knocking from Miyeon who was going to help you get ready for the wedding. The morning was chaotic, shoving food down your throat as Miyeon helped you get in your dress and your mother helping with your hair and your sister watching, already dressed and ready to go. It was full of people talking over one another and you trying to breathe as it all came crashing on you. Suddenly, the silly dates you liked became real, the conversations you had with Jaemin about the future were no longer mindless conversations, but plans for the future that was happening right now. Suddenly, the future was no longer so far away, it was only a few hours away from you. It scared you, how you were about to be tied to a man you never thought you’d marry.

Miyeon was the last person to step out of the room you were staying in. You looked at yourself, how the dress had hardly changed since the first fitting, how it looked like the skeleton of fabric you wore when you were questioned by Miyeon. The more you stared at yourself, the more real and unreal it all felt. It was real, that you were getting married, it just felt unreal that you were getting married in an hour. It felt real that you were in a wedding dress, but it felt unreal that the wedding dress was yours. You then heard a knock at your door, turning your head to yell at them to come in. When the door opened, you expected to see your mom or your sister, maybe even Miyeon. Instead, you saw, “Mark, what’re you doing here?” You asked, confused as to why he was here and dressed so well.

His blue number had golden accents that accentuated his wealth. How his cape was clearly freshly washed as you could smell the soap they used on it with each passing breeze. How his face was alive and his hair fell so perfectly in place and suddenly, all you could see was him in white, standing at the altar with Haechan standing beside him as you were walking down the aisle in a dress that felt right. Where the moment felt real, and the good kind of real, the real that you wanted to experience right now with Jaemin, but this was stopping you. Your feelings for Mark that were boiling over, your love for him that was no longer hidden and buried, but coming up at full force. Why did it take you until your wedding to suddenly think about calling it off? Confessions weren’t perfect, you weren’t perfect, but maybe you were perfect enough for him.

Mark couldn’t say anything as he saw you standing there dressed in white. How your hair was up, showing your facial features so perfectly and the way the sun was hitting you was perfect. You were otherworldly to him, you were so much more than beautiful and any other word he could think of. You were so much and all he wanted to do was to kiss you and say I Do. However, he wasn’t the groom, he was just the best friend and you made that perfectly clear to him.

“I just, I’m sorry, you’re—I can’t say” He stumbled out, his mouth dry for water as he just stared at you again, with his whole soul out on a silver platter for you to consume.

You could feel your heart skip a beat and your brain releasing oxytocin as you realized how Mark did stare at you the way your father stared at your mother. This can’t happen, you were getting married so soon. If only you realized all of this sooner. If only you weren't stubborn or a horrible person for using Jaemin in the way you did.

“Mark, don’t, please” You mumbled, not wanting to hear another compliment or confession. Not because you didn’t want to hear it, but because if you did, you would break.

“I’m sorry, I was just, I just wanted to apologize” Mark replied, clearing his throat as he nodded, his face growing blank as he stared at you so quietly. “I’m sorry for telling you what I said and just, Lords, I just, I love you, of course I love you and I’m sorry I haven’t said anything and I’m sorry I told you this at the worst time and even now I’m telling you I love you right before your wedding, but if I don’t tell you this now, I’ll never say it and I’d regret never telling you” You told him not to say this and yet here he was, confessing even more. He loves you, he finally said it. It wasn’t up to interpretation and mind reading, he confessed, Mark actually said the three words eighteen year old you would’ve fallen for. “And I’m not asking you to not marry Jaemin, I’m sorry I ever asked you that. If you want to marry Jaemin, marry him. He’s perfect for you, he’s someone you deserve and someone who won’t wait forever to do something like I do. I love you and I just want you to be happy and if you’re happy with Jaemin, then be happy with him” This isn’t a selfless sacrifice, Mark isn’t letting you marry Jaemin, he’s not giving you up like he says he is. He was just telling you to do what is right, do what you want to do. If you want to marry Jaemin, he isn’t going to stop you, but if you don’t want to marry Jaemin, he wants you to pick him instead. You can’t tell if that is out of love, or selfishness. “That’s all I wanted to say. I love you and I’m sorry”

You were rendered speechless. How could he say those things so easily? How can he say he loves you? Finally, after seven years he says it, but it took him so long and suddenly, you’re eighteen years old again, kissing him and feeling him. You saw his soul, you saw his heart, you saw his brain that contained memories of you and him, you saw everything. You’re feeling everything, those nerves, those euphoric feelings, that ecstasy, everything. Mark makes you feel real. You were about to say something, but a knock came as you both looked at the open doorway to see the familiar face of a guard.

“Your highness, oh, King Mark” He paused, looking at the King of Eloweth standing with you. He looked between you and Mark, feeling a deep tension as he looked back at you. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No, I was just leaving” Mark interrupted, nodding his head towards you before taking his leave as the guard bowed to him.

You watched as Mark left, his body disappearing behind the corner. Little did you know that he was busy trying to catch his breath after telling you about his love. It was nerve racking for him and he did it, he finally told you. However, he thinks you’ll go through with it, you’ll marry Jaemin and you both will be friends again, trying to be as normal as possible.

The guard cleared his throat, looking at you for confirmation. “Your highness, we’re ready for you”

“Okay” You mumbled out, still in shock with Mark's "I love you" ringing in your ears. Clearing your throat, you mindlessly stepped down the platform and followed the guard down the winding and turning hallways of the castle.

When you reached the room where you both would be getting married, the double doors leading to the rooms were closed. You saw your father there, dressed in his traditional clothing as he finally caught you. Your father felt his world stop as he saw you dressed in the beautiful white dress, how grown up you look now. Suddenly, his little girl was getting married. He didn’t understand how time flew by.

“My daughter, you look beautiful” He announced, making you smile as he pulled you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head. He pulled away and you hooked your arm in his. “You ready?” He asked, raising an eyebrow to make you laugh, but all you did was let out an uncomfortable chuckle.

“I’m nervous” You mumbled out, shaking with nerves. Your father gently squeezed your hand as he looked down at you with a proud smile.

“Don’t be, Jaemin is one lucky man” He confirmed, making you smile, but not in relief, but in pain. Jaemin is a lucky man, he’s nice, sweet, considerate, understanding, a brilliant King, more of a peacemaker than you could ever be. And yet, he’s about to marry a girl who doesn’t want to marry him anymore. What were you doing?

“Don’t let me fall” You mumbled out, one of the guards hanging you a bouquet of flowers as you heard shuffling from behind the doors. They were standing, the soft violins making beautiful melodies as they were awaiting your entrance.

Your father chuckles, holding onto your arm tightly. “Never”

The doors opened and everyone's eyes were on you. The pew was full of people you knew and didn’t know. You can see Haechan’s familiar smirk, but it wasn’t full, wasn’t his usual smirk that he usually gioves you. It was different, almost vague. Renjun’s smile was small, not bright like how it usually was when you did something he was proud of. Chenle jist looked bored while your sister stood next to him, looking disappointed. Was no one happy about this? Was no one approving of this? Were you honestly so blind to how much people knew you and Mark were made for one another than you in turn blinded yourself into trying to love someone you knew you couldn’t? The walk down the aisle felt like miles and miles, it felt endless, that when you reached the end and finally looked at Jaemin, it all dawned on you.

Jaemin, he looked so happy, so ready to commit and so infatuated with you. To him, you were the most beautiful person he has ever seen, even as kids, he thought you were beautiful. He admired you, loved how stubborn you were, how you spoke your mind and how peaceful you can be when it was time to be. He loves you, he really does. You hate how you can see that, how you can see the glimmer in his eyes as he drank you in, about to be his wife. All you could do was force a smile, hoping he wouldn’t be able to notice, but Mark did. He was watching from the pew, longing for you now, wishing and hoping that you would run away with him. He was selfish for you, he wanted you, he needed you. You were the oxygen he needed to breathe and survive. But most importantly, you were the wish he constantly wished for in the well. His whispers of your name and the word “Wife” attached to one another seamlessly.

“Good day, we are all gathered here today for this holy matrimony between Queen Choi and King Na” The priest announced, his voice loud and full as everyone took their seats. He made his speech, saying what he needed to say, but it all went in one ear and out the other. You were contemplating, trying to be in the moment, but your dress was itchy, your shoes hurting your feet, your body trembling and your mind racing. You swallowed saliva as your throat felt so dry, your eyes burning as you honestly thought you forgot to blink. Blinking your eyes, you gleaned right past Jaemin and a little to your right and saw Mark. Mark, oh Mark, how handsome he is and how lovely he is. How he knew the ways to make you feel better, to make you laugh, to make your tea, how many sugars to add, down to the gram, and how much he knew you hated ranunculus, but Jaemin didn’t know that, it's why he chose the flowers for your bouquet, because he didn't know.

“I do” Jaemin said proudly, with relief as he smiled so widely that it took up his whole face. He was so happy to see you here, in front of him at the altar.

They all awaited your response, but you were still in another world where this wasn't happening. “Queen Choi?” The priest asked, looking at you with a questioning look. Jaemin cleared his throat and that caught your attention as people began to murmur.

“I…” You trailed off, looking at Jaemin with such uncertainty and for some reason, he still couldn’t see it. He thought that you were consumed with so much feeling, overwhelmed that you lost your words. Not that you were feeling so guilty for marrying him, for wanting this, for going so far in this. Because you can't marry Jaemin, you can’t marry him because he deserves someone so much better, deserves better in general. Your shoulders fell as you breathed out the words Jaemin never thought you’d say, “I’m so sorry, I can’t”

“What?” Jaemin asked, feeling his whole world crashing down in front of all of these people. It killed him, you can’t marry him. The whole room bursts into gasps and whispers as you gently shake your heat at him.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t marry you, Jaem, I’m so sorry” You apologized over and over again, tears welling in your eyes as guilt washed all over you. Jaemin didn’t break, his smile just fell as his eyes broke into millions of pieces, and yet, he looked so perfect. “You deserve someone who loves you”

He gently shook his head, his shoulders falling as he felt like this was some nightmare he was going to wake up from. “I don’t, I don't understand. You don’t love me?” He asked, whispering his words as everyone still whispered behind him.

You looked around, seeing everyone with curious looks, whispering at each other and others trying to listen in. You couldn’t do this in front of everyone, in front of your family and friends, in front of Jaemin’s mother and father, and especially in front of Mark. You grabbed Jaemin’s hand and dragged him out of the room, the gasps and words rising in volume as you dragged him down the aisle through the two doors and down the winding corridor that felt smaller and smaller with each step. Eventually, you found a random door and pulled him in it. It was a music room, instruments here and there, you assumed were his mothers as you remember Jaemin mentioned that his mother loved music and would play in her free time.

As soon as Jaemin closed the door, the words came spilling out of your mouth. “I really tried, Jaem, I really did try, but I just, it doesn’t feel right and I hate that it doesn’t feel right because you’re perfect” You explained, feeling the tears you were holding in slowly fall down your face. “You’re everything I would want in a husband, you are so many great things and I really did try to love you, I told everyone I did, so many times, but I think I just said those things because I was trying to convince myself and I’m so sorry”

Jaemin didn’t say anything at first, just letting your words sink in and he didn’t feel sad, just hurt and disappointed. “It’s because of Mark, isn’t it?” He asked, although he already knew that the answer was yes. It was always Mark, he just should have known.

“I’m sorry”

Jaemin signed, trying to remain calm, even though his heart felt like it was sinking underwater. “Don’t be. I should’ve known” He mumbled out, nodding his head as he was trying to accept a fact he knew, but decided to ignore.

“No, you shouldn’t have, I just, I shouldn’t have done this to you” You shook your head, not wanting for Jaemin to feel as though you always had Mark in the back of your mind, because you didn’t, not until recently, not until he proposed.

“It's okay” He replied, shaking his head.

You didn’t expect him to be so calm about this, why was he so calm? He wasn’t, he wasn’t calm, he wanted to crawl into a hole and rethink his whole time with you and wonder how many signs he missed, or saw and ignored. He wanted to dissect this whole relationship inside out to see where it all happened, or if it happened since the beginning. Was this relationship only meant to fail? Yes, yes it was.

“How are you so calm about this?”

“I kind of saw it coming” Half of a lie, he knew you and Mark had a special bond, it was so evident in the way you acted around one another. It was magical like the Enchanted Forest and wishful like the Wishing Well you gushed about so much. “The way you spoke about him, how you looked at him, it always made sense. Even as kids”

“I’m so sorry” You had no other words to say because, what could you say? All you can be is sorry.

“It’s okay” He replied, watching as you gently slid the ring off your finger, grabbing his hand as his palm opened for you to place the ring there. It was final, you and Jaemin weren’t getting married. Jaemin was the first to leave, walking away and leaving you in this music room as you contemplated on what to do. You’d be lying if you said that Mark wasn’t the first person on your mind, wanting to finally say what you’ve been wanting to say all those years ago. Seven years might be really late, but you don’t want to make it ten, or twenty.

You ran out of the room, the castle echoing with the voices of people who decided to stay and enjoy the reception. You ran around the corridors, trying to see if maybe Mark was lingering around, but to no avail, you had no idea where he was. Walking down one of the halls, you caught sight of your sister, her pretty dress sparking as she laughed with Chenle at some stupid joke he made.

You called out her name, her head whipping over to look at you, blotchy eyes and red cheeks and nose. Instantly she knew you were crying.

“Are you okay?” She asked instantly, furrowed brows as she grabbed your arm in comfort.

You shook your head, guilt still deep in your stomach, but now you could say what you wanted to say. “No, but have you seen Mark? I really need to speak to him” You asked, craning your neck to look beyond them to see the familiar perfect head of hair.

“Mark?” Chenle asked, speaking up and you looked at him. “He left, like when you two ran off, he left” He explained, your eyes going wide. He was gone?

“He left? Where did he go?” You asked, frantically trying to get a response out of Chenle who just shrugged his shoulders.

You heard a familiar scoff coming from behind you. “Wouldn’t you like to know” Haechan said, sipping from his glass of liquor, your head whipping around to face him.

“Haechan, please” You begged, walking up to him to meet him half way. You were desperate, needing to know where he was so you could finally look at him and say you love him.

“No, do you know how messed up this is?” Haechan asked, a little upset at how you’re instantly wanting Mark after this whole calling off the wedding. At the end of the day, you are all the future of this nation, you all have to see one another frequently. It’s going to be awkward, because of you. Some peacemaker you are. “You just broke it off with Jaemin and now you’re running off to Mark? This all could have been avoided if you just didn’t say yes to Jaemin in the first place” “It’s so much more complicated than that and you know that” You replied, knowing that despite Mark being annoyed by Haechan, they were so close, too close. They were brothers, they told each other everything, you wouldn’t be surprised if Mark told Haechan so many things about you two. “It took us seven years, please don’t make me wait more”

Haechan looked at how small you looked, how desperate, how you were giving him those pleading eyes that made it very hard for him to say no to you. He groaned, rolling his eyes as he gave in so easily to you and Mark. “You make it very hard to dislike you” He grumbled out, chugging the rest of his drink. “He’s staying at the Inn”

“Thank you” You replied, instantly wrapping your arms around him, hugging him so tightly as he gently pushed you off. You instantly ran, running down the halls in your uncomfortable heels, running out of the doors and down the steps. Your feet slamming on the cobblestone as you run through the village, people stopping and staring, children looking at you with wide eyes because they’re seeing a Queen in a pretty dress. You made a bee line for the Inn, Mark couldn’t have made it to his room in time with how far the Inn was from the Castle.

Sure enough, a familiar figure in the distance, passing a stall of food. You gasped, your run coming to a stop as you yelled out his name. “Mark!” He instantly turned around at the sound of your voice, confused as to why you were standing out here in your wedding dress, looking disheveled as your hair was falling out of its style.

He began walking towards you as you followed his steps, meeting him halfway. “What’re you doing here?” Mark asked, confused to see you here. When you ran off with Jaemin after muttering the words “I can’t”, he assumed that maybe you were clearing things up, being honest with him about everything.

“I love you” You confessed, a smile growing on your face as your chest felt lighter and your feet no longer hurting and the dress wasn't itchy anymore. Everything was perfect, it was right.

Mark didn’t believe you though, shaking his head as he avoided your gaze. “You don’t need to say that” He mumbled out, trying to ignore the beating in his chest.

“But I do! I love you, I’ve always loved you. It’s so obvious, I was just terrified that if we were together, it would all get ruined so easily and I don’t wanna lose you Mark. You’re my best friend and I love you. Don’t you see that? I’ve been a mess since you told me not to marry Jaemin because deep down, I was waiting for you to say that, waiting for you to tell me you love me and waiting for you to do something, because as much as I love your words, your actions are so special to me because you don’t do them much. I wanted to know that you really love me and not just some silly interpretation, but the confession you made today, the action of telling me to not marry Jaemin, everything, it was all I ever wanted because I want you” You ranted, words falling so seamlessly like the way words echo off the walls of the Wishing Well you and mark love so much.

Mark listened to every word with so much attention, his brian making his heart beat faster as all he wanted to do was tell you how much he wants you too, needs you. You were everything to him and so much more. You were his best friend and his love. Mark didn’t have to say anything anymore, because now he can act without the fear of being rejected. Mark grabbed your face in his warm hands, his hands that reminded you of the warm and fiery sun, his lips crashing onto yours as it felt like the world was exploding into a beautiful super nova. Stars and fireworks, waterfalls, and magic were fueled into this one kiss. The first kiss in seven years and it was so much more than you imagined.

“I love you so much” Mark whispered against your lips before kissing you again, trying to make up for seven years of missed opportunities.

This kiss was filled with longing, yearning, and so much bittersweet candy. It was bitter because at the end of the day, you hurt Jaemin to be here, but it was so sweet because you could finally love your best friend without the fear of it all ending because you know, deep down in your heart, that Mark loves you more than he needs to breathe. You were so lucky to fall in love with your best friend, so damn lucky.

“I love you too”

“Do you, King Lee, take Queen Choi to be your wife?” The priest asked, Mark smiling happily as he instantly nodded.

Two months had passed since you left Jaemin and chose Mark after years of being apart. It was hard to get things back to normal with Jaemin, you gave him his space until he was ready to see you again. However, Jaemin is understanding, too understanding that he decided to forgive and forget. Jaemin was too good for this world and too good for you, but he told you to stop asking for forgiveness because he doesn’t want to live in the past. He’s still searching for a wife, but you know whoever he marries will be the perfect girl for him.

Mark was ever so sweet, holding your hand, kissing you so much and being so lovely. Honestly, your dynamic still felt the same, same old jokes, same old banter, just with the added plus of kissing and hand holding. Sneaking off from meetings now felt more exciting as you whispered in the halls, trying to find new places to hide away from your responsibilities. It was exciting, exhilarating, and just so much more than you ever could have imagined. Mark is idyllic, a word you associate with Mark so much after learning its meaning. When he proposed, the ring didn’t feel heavy, it felt light and it never blinded you, but led you to a perfect beginning with Mark. Your dress on your wedding day wasn't itchy, it felt right and felt real, the good kind of real. Your mind wasn't racing, it was slow and timeless as you saw Mark standing at the end of the aisle near the Wishing Well you both used to wish for each other. Your bouquet of flowers was now your favorite because not only did you get to choose, but Mark knew they were your favorite.

“I do” He replied, his hands sweating as he held yours so tightly because he wanted to be reminded that this was real and not some dream he was going to wake up from. He was finally marrying you.

“And do you, Queen Choi, take King Lee to be your husband?” He asked, you instantly smiled wider if that was even possible as you nodded.

“I do” You replied, your stomach growing warm as your mind filled with every laugh, every tear, everything that made you and Mark.

Your jokes, your hurt, your words, your hugs and longing touches that lingered, the way his hands burned your skin that it was engraved on your skin. How your stare was something Mark could read so easily because he knew you so well, how he can tell when you’re sad, happy, excited, or just quiet. You both were so intertwined in each other that it all made sense, it all made it more real that you two loved one another on top of loving each other as friends.

“You may now kiss the bride” Mark instantly grabbed your face, his lips gently touching yours as you sealed your marriage with him.

Years and years of waiting suddenly felt like nothing when you look down at your ring finger a few days from now, calling Mark’s name as he turns around to meet you with a smile. It was always going to be Mark, never once was it going to be about another person because Mark was always there with you. “I love you” You said when you both pulled away from your kiss, everyone cheering with Haechan clapping so loudly and yelling Mark’s name.

“Not as much as I love you” Mark replied, leaning in for a kiss again, it was so gentle and innocent. It reminded you of your first one and damn do you wish for every kiss to be like this one. Good thing that there was a Wishing Well next to you both.

*gigi speaks*

EEEEEE ITS FINALLY HERE the first installment of the Once Upon a Time series, so exciting. I hope you all enjoyed this monster of a fic, i’m sorry it took me so long, it was just a lot. I loved these two tgt, they’re so complicated and contradicting people with their inner conflict and i just, seven years it took them so long! But yeah, i’m happy with how this came out, maybe in the future i’ll make some edits idk, but honestly, this is prob one of the best fics i’ve written and i’ve worked so hard on it and so much of my blood sweat and tears went into this and i hope you all honestly enjoy this fic

up next is our pretty boy renjun, so excited for that fic because of all the magic, i’ll see you all soon!

taglist: @lelecidio @sunflowerhae @tootles-doodles @saranghoeforanton @haechsworld @jenopilled @pankuya @cinneorolls @remgeolli @notmastyle @tinyzen @constantlybeingbiasedwrecked @nctubatu @aple-piie @waltermitty23 @kittydollzz @lunaryoongie

sximsoc

reposting this bc mark left nct….thats like mark leaving nct or like jungkook leaving bts, or like jesus leaving the bible. even then, 10 years of being constantly overworked, id leave too, i hope mark finds best in his life now, hopefully take a well deserved break and write for the fun of it and not for deadlines

#mark lee imagines #mark lee nct #mark lee fanfic #mark lee x reader #nct mark lee #nct fluff #nct127 #nct dream #mark nct #nct imagines

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