BrokenHumour

Welcome to a blog of bullshit and bi pride! Credit for my amazing icon goes to @camiichu

[killerbytes]

this really desps my cito

[ragemovement]

[powerfulwizard]

[skeluigi]

[pulling-aggro]

God I love early comics, they just go against everything that modern comics are trying to do in the best ways

[thegirlinthebyakko]

I work at a comic shop sorting back issues…you have no idea 

[helloitsbees]

[foxhanbin]

AO3 updated their filters and I’m so shook??? I love this so fucking much, you have no idea. Thank you, AO3. This made my day way better, and my life so much easier.

[hedwig-dordt]

Your irregular reminder that Ao3 is funded entirely by its users. So if you’re happy with the update, and you have some money to spare, please consider donating to the Archive.

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

what does “men who adhere to strict gender binary” even mean tho

NO ONE adheres to the gender binary! NO ONE FITS THEIR GENDER ROLE PERFECTLY! THAT’S THE POINT! AARRRGGH! 

[drethelin]

NOOOOO OOOOONE…. ADHERES TO THE GENDER BINARY LIKE GASTON!

Originally posted by clarabellecow

[shitifindon]

when I try to hear this in my head my mental voice is incapable of pronouncing it fast enough to fit the timing of the line “noooo oooone… adjksjfksfjslenry like Gaston!”

and when I try to fit it to one of the longer such lines, my mental voice becomes too confused about conflicting scansion to continue

[featurelessorb]

no one’s droll like gaston no one’s swole like gaston no one fits his assigned gender role like gaston

[thehypnobunny]

I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy My what a guy that gastooon

[blighttownbitch]

are you kidding me, gaston’s gotta be overcompensating for something

[lord-kitschener]

99 Luftballons is German despacito

[cinnabargirl]

Das ist so traurig. Alexa, spiel 99 Luftballons.

[shitty-car-mods-daily]

Actually very well made, but still via Shitty_Car_Mods

[gyppa-deactivated20181011]

nothing will appease these fucks

[hamtastrophe]

it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence

[bigthecat]

did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine

[the-itchy-bitchy-spider]

basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he’s a prophet or a saint because he’s got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia’s queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son’s haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, ‘cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now  (allegedly) belongs to. 

then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and it’s helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesn’t die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn’t die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn’t looking, and he doesn’t die, but they think he’s dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he’s gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn’t die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn’t go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this…. he died…. of hypothermia.

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.

[w0wls]

Rasputin was an old god from times before humans

[mad-duck]

He is like a cleric gone wild

[godlessondheimite]

“did rasputin do something problematic” i am going to die

[sufferingsappho-deactivated2017]

“Imagine if people had been going ‘don’t fight hate with hate’ back when Hitler was around.”

Fam…let me tell you bout Poland.

[sufferingsappho-deactivated2017]

Let me tell you about how the entire rest of Europe sat ack and watched the invasion of Poland because they thought it would be “improper” to send military aid. How they were unwilling to enforce the treaties that Germany was breaking, because that would make them “just as bad.” They sat back and wrote strongly worded letters while fascists grew in power because they didn’t want to dirty their hands. They thought reasonable discussion and politics would be enough to stop a fascist dictator from rising to power.

[dustlines]

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t enough.

[closet-keys]

like yes, people literally did try that argument then too. 

Everywhere there’s fascists there are fascist apologists hiding under the guise of pacifism, ready to enable their shit and demonize resistance. 

[wlw]

why are wlw books so angsty and deep all the time like where is my casual wlw romcom or my fantasy lesbians, space bis and trans princesses like not every wlw has some lost love in some town in the middle of nowhere

[shiraglassman]

I live for posts like this, because there are soooo many good f/f books out there that don’t get the attention they deserve because of the way wlw are marginalized. So!

Here are some recs for casual/feel-good f/f representation! All links are to my reviews.

Good Enough to Eat - super cute lesbian vampire rom-com

Promises, Promises - parody of LotR/D&D starring three lesbians on a quest for magical stuff

Everything Leads to You - Hollywood f/f YA about a young set designer who falls for a girl she meets under mysterious circumstances

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet - ensemble-cast “crew of a spaceship” story. Mostly just random adventures, includes a f/f couple who survive the book.

Roller Girl - contemporary f/f romance about trans woman who joins a roller derby team

Not fluffy, but the angst is SFF-stress rather than “living under homophobia/biphobia” stress:

Ascension - queer disabled ladies fighting Big Pharma in space–you wanted space bi’s, come get your space bi’s (actually, if you want more space bi’s also check out the anthology Fierce Family.)

Chameleon Moon - review is of an earlier edition and I hear the new one has even more great representation. Trans woman superhero with two female partners living in a dystopian city that’s on lockdown from the government after everyone develops mutant powers in response to a wonderdrug.

Not Your Sidekick - in the future, what happens when your parents are superheroes but you never developed powers? You intern for the baddie, of course! MC is bi and ends up in a f/f relationship, and the sequel will star her trans bestie.

Hope this helps. Feel free to browse my “lesbian books” tag for more recs (there are bi/pan girls in some of those recs, too.)

[holdtheskeletongrillby]

*coughalsoeverythingshiraglassmanwritescough* *coughsuperfuntimescough*

[shiraglassman]

I mean, this is basically true – f/f fluff is kinda the cornerstone of my body of writing :P (Thanks!)

[elusivemellifluence]

All I Want For Christmas by Clare Lydon - Fluffy wlw romantic comedy (I know it’s not really in season at the moment but it’s so cute)

Gay Pride and Prejudice by Kate Christie - What it says on the tin. Elizabeth Bennett is a lesbian and the haughty Caroline Bingley is the last woman she could ever be prevailed upon to love.

Escape from B-Movie Hell by M.T. McGuire - Silly British sci-fi with a lesbian protagonist

Heart Trouble by Jae - A doctor gets shocked by a defibrillator while saving a woman’s life in the ER. Now they have a soul bond!

Finding Ms Write by Jae & Jove Belle - Collection of short stories about women who love women and also love books.

The Wind City by Summer Wigmore - Urban fantasy drawing on Maori mythology. Protagonist describes herself as “at least 60% gay” and falls in love with a monster girl.

Sword of the Guardian by Merry Shannon - Bi princess and lesbian bodyguard fall in love.

The Case of the Good-for-Nothing Girlfriend by Mabel Maney - Parody detective story about a gang of five lesbians who solve crimes.

[maderr]

A Woman Scorned by Rachel Frank about an assassin who falls in love with a noblewoman (lesbian)

Beauty & Cruelty by Meredith Katz about the evil with falling in love with sleeping beauty (lesbian)

High & Mighty by S.S. Skye - a princess stuck in a tower who is decidely Not Amused about it (lesbian)

Humanity for Beginners by Faith Mudge - Two friends and a halfway house for lesbian werewolves (lesbian)

Hunting a Lady by Cari Z. and Caitlin Ricci - a woman who needs money goes to rescue a kidnapped lady for the reward (lesbian)

Lies & Reverie by Camilla Quinn - A shopkeeper’s daughter who loves to day dream, and the beautiful woman who runs the town (lesbian)

Love Rampage by Alex Powell - a girl in love with her best friend, and the unicorn who helps her (lesbian, trans)

Modern Serpents Talk Things Through by Jamie Brindle - a modern dragon who falls in love with the human who invades her cave (lesbian)

Prom and Other Hazards by Jamie Sullivan - super cute story about a girl, her best friend, and the prom (lesbian, bisexual)

Slaying Dragons by Sasha L. Miller - a frustrated mage, some dragons, and the lovely new partner she’s stuck with (lesbian)

The Broken Forest by Megan Derr - a Huntress, and the beautiful witch she meets dealing with a troublesome forest (lesbian, bisexual, trans)

The Mercenary by Annabelle Kitch - a peasant girl, the princess she loves, a quest to win her princess’s hand in marriage (lesbian)

The Persephone Star by Jamie Sullivan- a proper lady working in the post office, a notorious criminal set on revenge, and a bit of kidnapping (lesbian)

The Secret of Mermaid Cove by Megan Derr - an improper lady, an unwanted engagement, and an island full of secrets

Witch, Cat, and Cobb by J.K. Pendragon - a princess fleeing an arranged marriage, a witch, and a cat (lesbian, trans)

Zombies in the East End by Roxanne Dent - steampunk, zombies, and two tough ladies

California Skies by Kalya Bashe - bandits in the wild west, a hunt for jewels, stubborn people (bisexual, genderqueer)

Green Toes by Avery Flanders - gardens, a hint of magic shoes, and people falling in love (bisexual, genderqueer)

[tharhi]

Gossamer Axe by Gael Baudin. It’s been a while since I’ve read it, but it’s fantasy. Basically one of the most epic quests to save a lover I’ve read, more enjoyable because it’s based on music and the magic thereof. It’s not in print, so it can be a little hard to get a hold of, but worth it.

[biodegrade]

[feministism]

legality does not define morality.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

[antigothesis]

Teen: *gets a job*

“I GOT THE JOB!”

Parents: Well, when I was your age, I already had 5 jobs and was supporting my family

[thehobbutts]

i used to think green apple was a flavor invented by the candy industry like blue raspberry bc i had never seen a green apple before I just thought all apples were red and long story short when i realized i was red green colorblind it really fucked me up

[plantdaddd]

there’s also yellow apples

[thehobbutts]

now yall are just fuckin lying to me

[thehobbutts]

i just assumed that everyone just ate apples if they were in the mood for a surprise i dunno

[aterribleidea-deactivated201905]

this post is so beautiful i love it

[catcatcanhxh]

Ok but am i the only one who thought of this?