szmulinator

[funstyle]

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[sacred-portal]

[alttxt]

[ottermatopoeia]

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

[peace-love-anarchy]

this took me like 5 minutes

[doffy2]

My dinnar 💪💯❗💥

[doffy2]

[63]

This is one of your worst posts yet man

[textposttropes]

Poverty Food

Visual Innuendo

[doffy2]

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

[kikokuso]

I have a new favourite batshit rail idea

Please build it for the funny please please please

[vacuously-true]

You're right. I SHOULD be able to take the train from Minneapolis to Berlin.

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

Step 1: Find people crazy enough to think they can design and build a bridge between Sardinia and mainland Italy

Step 2: PUT THEM ON ICE FLOES

[unichrome]

I’m slowly beginning to accept the reality that 2007 was not last year but in fact almost four years ago

[themuppetmasterencyclopedia]

Miss Piggy's Guide to Life Photos

[chujellys]

there's a family of local sandhill cranes that adopted an abandoned goose last summer and they're STILL together today even after migration.... i love them + they're local celebrities + nature is beautiful

[chujellys]

yesterday’s update… 📸 everyone is paparazzi when ur this famous…

[knifefightscene]

marriage before thirties is so insane because you're barely a person yet

[knifefightscene]

divorce before thirties however is chic beyond comprehension

[the-big-mood]

[dogpuppy]

[blanq]

tumblr glitched and now there’s just a guy in the void

[daughter-of-prospero]

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

[brytning]

When I need to remind myself to put something on the grocery list and I don't have my phone on me, I use the Scrabble tile magnets on the fridge. But sometimes I don't have enough of the right letters and have to get creative.

[brytning]

The list is getting longer and we are running out of letters.

[sevensmallsphinxes]

Sphinx employee slash bodega cat that blocks the door and asks riddles, the owner has the answer of the day on a paper taped to the door.

it never notices.

[sevensmallsphinxes]

important addition from a friend:

everyone thinks REALLY hard and regulars makes two bad guesses so it feels like it's doing a good job

[orcboxer]

excuse me

[thewitchoftheweast]

[avaricevinegar]

no pants im afraid

[beardedmrbean]

Periscope up

[birds-in-posts]

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

[flareonfloof]

birds have secret bones we're not allowed to know about

[so-much-for-subtlety]