#able bodied

[animentality]

[zebulontheplanet]

It’s so weird to be around abled people with my wheelchair compared to my crutches. If I’m in my wheelchair, I rarely get questions on what happened. People usually just stare, give me pitiful looks, and go on with their day. Or they refuse to look at me and get awkward. If I’m using my crutches, it’s all questions. Did you hurt yourself? Were you born that way? Did something happen?

Like dude. I don’t owe you anything. It’s also hard because 99.9% of these people don’t realize I’m nonverbal and never give me the chance to respond anyway besides smiling and nodding. “I was on crutches once! They suck!” Like, Yeah they suck but I literally need them to do anything. I’m not able to walk without my crutches. It’s just so weird.

[tavern-get-togethers]

I present to you the (incomplete) user manual for inquiring about people's health:

The✅emoji represents times that it would be considered an appropriate setting to ask someone about their medical condition/medical history or their current symptoms regarding their health.

The❌emoji represents times that it is not considered appropriate to ask someone. And it's usually outright rude, ableist, offensive, bothersome, etc.

--

✅ The person you're asking is a patient in your hospital/other medical setting and you are their medical provider. The things you are asking are also relevant to the goal of the patient's visit.

❌ You are a medical professional and the person you're asking is going about their day in a shopping mall.

✅ You are eating common allergens (like nuts) around someone you've only known for a short time and you ask them if they have a nut allergy. You are making a reservation at a restaurant with a group of new colleagues you have never met before and you ask if anyone has any accessibility needs (ramps/accessible bathroom stalls) or food allergies. You are going to bake someone a birthday cake and aren't sure if they (or their family) are allergic or intolerant to any common ingredients used in cake so you give them a call. You are planning to invite someone over at your place but you have pets so you ask them if they are allergic to them.

❌ While you're eating out in a restaurant someone at another table is getting a different version of the dish that you ordered so you ask them about their allergies. (pro tip: If you're concerned about your own order, ask the waiter) You see someone at a large family gathering is not being served any food while their family is eating so you decide to comment on this or assume they are trying to lose weight/tell them they are already skinny and should eat some food. (many reasons why someone might still wanna enjoy time with their family even if they can't eat at that specific restaurant).

✅ You are the owner of an establishment that does not allow dogs and see someone enter the store who is bringing their dog. You are allowed to ask them if this dog is a service dog and what task it is trained to do. You are not allowed to inquire about any other medical details of the owner or ask for some kind of service dog certificate (these do not exist). If the dog is displaying behaviors that are not appropriate for a trained service dog (such as lashing out/growling/loudly barking without it being an alert for the owner/worst case they are trying to attack and distract other service animals) you are allowed to ask the owner to leave. Properly trained service dogs don't behave that way.

❌ You are personally allergic to dogs and someone enters the room with a service dog so you ask this person to leave. Please understand those service animals are equivalent to a wheelchair in terms of not being able to just get rid of them and store them away for your convenience. Those people have every right to enter that public space. If you are allergic please keep your distance (ask the venue to have you be seated further away if it's truly bothering you, or perhaps the person with the service animal has no trouble being seated further away if asked in a polite way) Try to keep allergy medication on hand for unexpected situations like these.

✅ You are a teacher and there is a child in your classroom that requires specific accommodations that you need to provide. You can ask them/their parents about what kind of tasks you're expected to perform and what symptoms you might need to be aware of during class.

❌You are a student and you usually never talk to this classmate and have no intentions to be friends with them but you still want to pry about their medical condition to sate your curiosity.

✅ You know how to perform first aid and you see someone passed out on the floor. When they regain consciousness it would be appropriate to ask for their medical history. Please check for any kind of medical alert bracelets or lanyards that might explain their unconscious state. Depending on the type of condition, passing out could be an every day experience for them and it might not require you calling emergency services. Ask the person what kind of help they might need.

❌ A person in the store you're shopping at was passed out on the floor and is regaining consciousness. They are already receiving first aid from someone/multiple people who seem to know what they're doing. There's no need for you to stand and observe the situation or to try and ask questions about why that happened. Just move on with your shopping experience. If someone is sitting on the floor in a strange place you could ask them if they're okay or need assistance. But please respect it if you're told that they don't need any help. They might just need a couple minutes. Don't try to pry about why they are sitting there.

✅ You're in a setting with a public disabled speaker who is asking the audience (you) if you have any questions. You are in conversation with a friend/family member and they are asking you if there is anything you may have wanted to ask about their disability. In other words: Someone is actively asking you if you want to ask questions. This is your moment.

❌ You see a person who is going about their day and you get the overwhelming urge to ask them why they are using mobility aids/have an abnormal gait/are using an AAC/are wearing protective sunglasses indoors/etc. This is your moment to practice silent thoughts. It's fine to see something that makes you curious but in this day and age the answer to this question can be found on the internet/at the library. Feel free to do unprompted research about different medical conditions and disabilities. You don't have to rely on strangers to provide you with this information. There is also plenty of content creators on youtube and other such social media platforms who happily share about their life and what abled people can do to be more accommodating/make things more accessible. There is so much information available for free.

If you made it this far you are now a little bit more educated on how to be normal around disabled people! Congratulations! Have this star for your efforts: 🌟🎉

Feel free to add on to this btw, there is most certainly a lot more examples.

[writing2changetheworld]

I really wish when people listed their privilege (like saying they're a straight, white, cis, male), they included able-bodied or nondisabled.

People look down on and pity disabled people but don't acknowledge the privilege of being the opposite or seemingly the opposite. Unfortunately, that makes sense. To acknowledge your privilege, you first have to view disabled people as humans worthy of the same things you are.

[sag-dab-sar-follows]

Comment:

Reply:

Hey able bodied people SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP AND NEVER TYPE THIS SHIT TO A DISABLED PERSON

[lokilysolbitch]

people with and without hsd or hEDS

is it normal for your back to hurt when you lay on a flat surface, NOT from the surface, but from just. like. your spine hurting on its own. not the muscles. just little bits of pain and odd discomfort that hit specific parts of your spine over the course of a minute or two and they just stay there. and the only way to fix it is to engage your muscles to hold your spine in place okay never mind i know this sounds like a loose joint issue but like just let me know anyway😭what if it IS normal to feel like you have to consciously hold your bones in their spots

[consider-your-potatoes-mashed]

Why are physically abled people so stuck on getting off of or out of mobility aids????