#ace theory

[leikeliscomet]

Asexual theory 101

Right I keep getting asked on most of my asexual posts 'What does this mean OP? Where's the sources?' so imma make a quick ace theory 101 post so if anyone says they don't get it I can say I tried. Let's go:

'What does being ace have to do with race/racism?/There's racism in the ace community???'

Pretty much everything as people of colour experience various forms of sexualisation and desexualisation at the same time, which is why POC are rarely included in asexual representation:

Asexuals of Color Still Seek to Validate Their Asexuality by Ebony Purks

Stereotypes & media about Black masculinity made it harder to come out as asexual by Tyger Songbird

Your Assumptions About Black Queer Masculinity Are Erasing My Asexual Identity by Timinepre Cole

It's Time To Start Celebrating Black Asexuality in Media By Tyger Songbird

Yasmin Benoit: ‘People had a hard time believing that I could be Black and asexual and at Pride’ by Alastair James

Brown and Gray: An Asexual People of Color Zine

'What do TERFS/transphobia have to do with asexuality?'

There's a growing TERF conspiracy theory that asexuality is the side-effect of transitioning. The LGB movement believes the community is exclusively for 'same-sex attracted persons' and so identities that don't involve attraction e.g. the TQIA should be removed. Most backlash towards Yasmin Benoit, aroace activist, is from white TERFs and conservatives:

Acephobic conspiracy theories have transphobic and fascist roots by Sherronda J Brown

Anti-trans movement has a new target: The asexual community by Yasmin Benoit

'But how can conservatives hate asexuality if they hate sex?'

Because they don't and never did. If the term 'puritan' was used correctly in modern internet discourse, it would be known Christian puritans believe heterosexual sex for reproduction is a gift from god and mandatory so being asexual doesn't exactly fit with that worldview. Their beef is with any form of sex and sexuality that falls outside of cis heterosexual marriage, including asexuality. They're not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy:

"Anti-Sex" and the Real Sexual Politics of the Right by Lee Cicuta (ButchAnarchy)

The religious right is now targeting sexless marriages as “selfishness.” They Want to Ban Those Too by Tyger Songbird

Asexual people targetted by right-wing pundits following landmark report by Harriet Brewis

'What does being ace have to do with gender?'

It's commonly assumed that because patriarchy shames women's sexualities and considers all men's sexuality as biological and unavoidable, that ace women only and exclusively experience desexualisation whilst ace men only and exclusively are pressured into being sexual beings. This can true as a broad overview but it can vary based on race, disability, class etc. This also becomes complex for asexuals that exist outside the gender binary. This is known as 'gender detachment'.

Impossible for Men, Unremarkable for Women by Canton Winer

My Work on Gender Detachment and Asexuality Strikes a Nerve by Canton Winer

'There's asexual studies now?'

Yup. On the general experiences of asexual people in the UK, including discrimination in education, the workplace and healthcare:

The National LGBT Survey (2018)

Ace in the UK Report (2023)

Asexuality in the UK: Public attitudes towards people who experience little to no sexual attraction (2025)

Specific names:

Asexual theorists: Ianna Hawkins Owen, Michael Paramo, Julia Sondra Decker, Canton Winer (non-ace), Sherronda J Brown, Angela Chen, Lovette Jallow

Asexual activists: Yasmin Benoit, Tyger Songbird, Marshall Blount (TheGentleAce)

Asexual artists: Kimberly Butler (TheAsexualGoddess)

And I'm gonna update this with more if they're worth adding. I don't wanna hear any excuses anymore or blame towards aces of colour, gay aces or trans aces for not being specific enough anymore. Read!

[queerum]

Free (mostly academic) ace theory resources

On asexuality

Asexuality: What It Is and Why It Matters - Anthony Bogaert

Asexuality: Classification and Characterization - Nicole Prause et al.

Asexuality - Luke Brunning et al.

Biological Markers of Asexuality: Handedness, Birth Order, and Finger Length Ratios in Self-identified Asexual Men and Women - Morag A. Yule et al.

Crisis and safety: The asexual in sexusociety - Ela Przybylo

On asexuality and HSDD

Reconsidering Asexuality and Its Radical Potential - CJ DeLuzio Chasin

Asexuality: An Extreme Variant of Sexual Desire Disorder? - Lori A. Brotto et al.

Asexuality: Sexual Orientation, Paraphilia, Sexual Dysfunction, or None of the Above? - Lori A. Brotto et al.

Asexuality vs. sexual interest/arousal disorder: Examining group differences in initial attention to sexual stimuli - Julia Bradshaw et al.

On the Split Attraction Model

Splitting Attraction: Differentiating Romantic and Sexual Orientations Among Asexual Individuals - Canton Winer

Ace and Aro: Understanding Diferences in Romantic Attractions Among Persons Identifying as Asexual - Amy N. Antonsen

On acephobia

“I don’t know if this counts but…” A report on acephobia in 2021. thank you to @plum-petunia for finding this <2

Examining the Social Tabooisation of Asexuality: The Underpinnings of Anti‑Asexual Bias - Grigoropoulos Iraklis

Chasing Aces: Asexuality, Misinformation and the Challenges of Identity - Adrienne Colborne

An Intersectional Exploration of Outness, Encountered Discrimination and Violence, and Non-Suicidal Self-Injury among Asexual Youth across Gender Identities - Zurong Liang

LGBTQ Minus: Predictors of Anti-Asexual Bias Among Straight, Gay, and Bisexual Individuals - Nicholas A. Ashenfelter

“And Now I’m Just Different, but There’s Nothing Actually Wrong With Me”: Asexual Marginalization and Resistance - Kristina Gupta

On the ace community

Asexuality: A Mixed-Methods Approach - Lori A. Brotto et al.

‘”Asexual” Isn’t Who I Am’: The Politics of Asexuality - Matt Dawson et al.

Asexuality is inversely associated with positive body image in British adults - Viren Swami et al.

“What Can Asexuality Offer Sociology ? Insights from the 2017 Asexual Community Census” thank you to this anon on my main blog for finding this <2

Establishing Asexual Identity: The Essential, the Imaginary, and the Collective - Agata Pacho

2022 Ace Community Survey Summary Report - Ai Baba et al.

Belonging to the Ace Spectrum: Correlates of Cognitions, Feelings, and Desires of Ace Individuals - A. Catarina Carvalho et al.

There’s more to life than sex? Difference and commonality within the asexual community - Mark Carrigan

The lives of asexual individuals outside of sexual and romantic relationships: education, occupation, religion and community - Esther D. Rothblum

On asexuality and the queer community

Queering Asexuality: Asexual-Inclusion in Queer Spaces - Dominique A. Canning

What Asexuality Contributes to the Same-Sex Marriage Discussion - Kristin S. Scherrer

Asexual and Non-Asexual Respondents from a U.S. Population Based Study of Sexual Minorities - Esther D. Rothblum et al.

“I Didn’t Know Ace Was a Thing”: Bisexuality and pansexuality as identity pathways in asexual identity formation - Canton Winer

(A)Sexuality Online: Self-Discovery, Exclusion, and Community in the Digital Age of Asexuality - Lauren Kauenhofen

Too Queer to be Queer? Revisiting the Metaphysics and Epistemology of Asexuality - Abigail Klassen

Uncertain Belonging: Asexuality and Queer Nightlife - Canton Winer

Asexual Borderlands: Asexual Collegians’ Reflections on Inclusion Under the LGBTQ Umbrella - Amanda L. Mollet

On asexuality in different parts of the world

Patterns of asexuality in the United States - Dudley Poston

Patterns of Asexuality in China: Sexual Activity, Sexual and Romantic Attraction, and Sexual Desire - Lijun Zheng et al.

Constructions of Asexual Identity in China: Intersections of Class, Gender, Region of Residence, and Asexuality - Day Wong et al.

Seeing the Invisible: Asexuality in the South - Ellie Campbell

On intersectionality

Asexuality in disability narratives - Eunjung Kim

You have to be normal to be abnormal: an empirically grounded exploration of the intersection of asexuality and disability - Karen Cuthbert

Asexuality and epistemic injustice: a gendered perspective - Karen Cuthbert

“When We Talk about Gender We Talk about Sex”: (A)sexuality and (A)gendered Subjectivities - Karen Cuthbert

Theorizing Conscious Black Asexuality through Claire Kann’s Let’s Talk about Love - Brittney Miles

Variations in suicidality across multiple social identities in asexual people: An intersectionality analysis - Sinéad Kelleher

Contested Intersections: Asexuality and Disability, Illness, or Trauma - A. Kurowicka

Does Everyone Have a Gender? Compulsory Gender, Gender Detachment, and Asexuality - Canton Winer

The Intersection of Gender Diversity and Asexuality Psychotherapy with TGNC Individuals Who Identify as Ace - Katherine Rachlin

Beyond the Label: Asexual Identity Among Individuals on the High‑Functioning Autism Spectrum - Scott T. Ronis et al.

Sexual, Romantic, and Community Experiences of Individuals at the Intersection of Autism and Asexuality - Randolph C. H. Chan

On researching asexuality

Understanding asexuality: A sociological review - Canton Winner

Methodological Issues for Studying Asexuality - Andrew C. Hinderliter

A Validated Measure of No Sexual Attraction: The Asexuality Identification Scale - Morag A. Yule et al.

What can Asexuality do for Queer Theories? - Anna Kurowicka

On asexuality and relationships/sex

Asexuality and relationship investment: visible differences in relationship investment for an invisible minority - Jared M. Edge

Asexual scripts: A grounded theory inquiry into the intrapsychic scripts asexuals use to negotiate romantic relationships - Haefner, Carol

The nuances of intimacy: Asexual perspectives and experiences with dating and relationships. - Brooke Higginbottom

Ace of (BDSM) clubs: Building asexual relationships through BDSM practice - Lorca Jolene Sloan

Sexual Fantasy and Masturbation Among Asexual Individuals: An In-Depth Exploration - Morag A. Yule et al.

Patterns of Genital and Subjective Sexual Arousal in Cisgender Asexual Men - Malvina N. Skorska et al.

Physiological and Subjective Sexual Arousal in Self-Identified Asexual Women - Lori A. Brotto et al.

Deepening Sexual Desire and Erotic Fantasies Research in the ACE Spectrum: Comparing the Experiences of Asexual, Demisexual, Gray‑Asexual, and Questioning People - Filippo Maria Nimb

Asexuality, Affect Aliens, and Digital Affect Cultures: Relationality with the Happy Objects of Sexual and Romantic Relationships - Charnell Peters

Other interesting ace related reads

Contradictions in the Representation of Asexuality: Fiction and Reality - Gwendolyn Osterwald

Asexuality and the Potential of Young Adult Literature for Disrupting Allonormativity - Patricia Kennon

A mystery wrapped in an enigma – asexuality: a virtual discussion - C. J. Bishop

‘You have to coin new things’: sexual and gender identity discourses in asexual, queer, and/or trans young people’s networked counterpublics - Zach Schudson

Asexuality, the Internet, and the Changing Lexicon of Sexuality - Jo Teut

“I am not a Robot, I am Asexual”: A Qualitative Critique of Allonormative Discourses of Ace and Aro Folks as Robots, Aliens, Monsters - Ben Brandley

Other lists of ace resources

Asexual theory 101 by @leikeliscomet. thank you to @plum-petunia for finding this <2

The Asexuality and Aromanticism Bibliography

If you know of any other free ressource about asexuality please consider adding to this list

Free (mostly academic) aro theory resources

[fuckyeahasexual]

Asexual Manifesto 2022: Radical Asexual Politics, 50 Years On

"So when I talk about asexuality I don't mean some sort of sanitized model of identity politics invested in being recognized and affirmed (by capitalism)." — Alok Vaid-Menon

"Nobody in the world, nobody in history, has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of the people who were oppressing them." — Assata Shakur

Asexuality is an inherently radical concept, but being asexual doesn't make a person radical in practice. This manifesto is a call to action for asexual community as much as it a provocation to queer and cisgender heterosexual society at large. A person does not need to "be" asexual in order to practice a radical asexual politics. If we as a collective seek to establish a just society, we must engage in radical asexual politics as necessary (but not sufficient) for achieving collective liberation.

Radical asexual politics is the practice of intellectually deconstructing and socially dismantling the sexually normative aspects of society, including race, color, ethnicity, class, caste, creed, ability, age, size, gender, sex, sexuality, religion, nationality, reproduction, and other categories of social organization and segmentation. Radical asexual politics harnesses the negativity associated with asexuality, the so-called "absence" or "lack" of sexuality, to clean the slate of sexual normativity and rewrite society as a place of liberation, including but not limited to sexual liberation.

Radical asexual politics is anti-capitalist, anti-racist, and anti-colonial. It rejects the organization of society around production and reproduction and reclaims all forms of pleasure (sexual and non-sexual) from their conscription into serving capital and hierarchies of power. It rejects the use of asexual identity to uphold racist ideologies and systems and reclaims sexual self-determination for all peoples. It rejects the social prioritization of monogamous couples and nuclear families and reclaims the kinship ties and familial networks that empire decimated.

To manifest a radical asexuality, we must act from a place of collectivism. We must practice solidarity within and across categories of difference. We must practice humble consciousness-raising and self-correction for the good of the group. We practice the following principles up until they no longer serve the collective, as determined by the wisdom of future workers laboring for liberation.

We reject bioessentialism and reclaim our power of self-determination.

"Born this way" and "made this way" narratives alike are unimportant to the work of asexual liberation, and in fact distract from it. Policing the reality of asexuality — whether it comes from nature, nurture, or a person's free choice to affiliate with asexuality — concedes to the state and its institutions the power to categorize, regulate, and oppress the body. We take back our power to choose and use our bodies in ways that we decide, we enjoy, and we thrive.

We reject the concentration of power in individuals and organizations and reclaim the power of the collective.

Cooperation with governments and concession to authorities, directly through cops and legislation and indirectly through nonprofit regulations, impede the work of asexual liberation. Putting icons on pedestals distracts from the work of asexual liberation. Our power is distributed throughout our people. We take back our power to organize our own queer families, relationships, communities, and societies, on terms that privilege not sexual bonds but whatever affective affiliations are important to the collective, independent of regulatory systems. We invest in our collective not through appeals to the authorities who seek our annihilation — not through waiting for legalization and protection — but through self-sustaining mutual aid.

We reject top-down regulation and reclaim community and egalitarian accountability.

Cop mentality destroys community. Labels are useful because words are powerful. But they can also be a powerful way for those with power to sow division among those deprived of power, in order to prevent our organizing to reclaim our power. We beware those bad actors by investing in robust community accountability, oriented towards repair rather than punishment. We reject the cop mentality of ideological purity in favor of the "constant change of heart" of consciousness-raising (bell hooks). We commit to humble and generous self-reflection on the ways that we perpetuate sexual normativity at every level of society, turning away from hierarchy and leaning on each other as we collectively learn and grow towards thriving, free of oppression.

We reject mere visibility and reclaim the power of direct action.

Visibility without self-defense exposes our people to violence. Raising awareness concedes our power of self-determination to our oppressors, whereas raising our own consciousness of the operations of sexual normativity equips us to liberate ourselves. We exercise our right to opacity (Édouard Glissant) as we forge our own present and future where we will enjoy our sexual freedom (the freedom to engage as much or as little as we want with sex). We take our own actions against sexual normativity, spiting the systems that perpetuate it and making real our asexual dreams for freedom.

We reject capitalist competition and reclaim erotic excellence.

Capitalist society is a society of scarcity. In our pursuit of physical and spiritual nourishment, capitalism demands that we compete against each other and ultimately against our own interests, expending our energies on the fight to meet our mere needs. We eschew the deprivation inherent to lateral oppression and embrace collective abundance. We pursue erotic excellence (Audre Lorde), that fundamental drive for pleasure and joy and fulfillment in all our labors, not just sex, as we work together in community towards our mutual liberation.

[geekyglamour413]

I’m developing a hypothesis

Reblog if you’re aspec but really really really love platonic physical touch like cuddling, handholding, and just general closeness that’s non-sexual with other people.

Myself and the few aspecs I know are like this and I curious if it’s a thing

[4aceclover]

Fnaf's duality

After re-watching game theories video on secret of the mimic Tom mentioned something that was very interesting the fact that duality seems to pop up quite a bit in these games

So I decided to have a little fun and look back at the games with that information in mind to see if there are any other moments of duality throughout this game franchise not just the most recent but even the originals

The more obvious ones

(the ones he brings up in the video)

William and Henry

Sun and Moon

Two-toned logo on the ruin website

Tiger rocks heterochromia

Moments that I noticed after watching

Duality in the Kids:

Charlie and Elizabeth

Elizabeth and Cassidy

Cassidy and Cassie

Tiger rock and Golden Freddy

David Murray and Dave Afton (I like Evan)

Elizabeth, Cassie and Vanessa

Michael and Oswald

Evan and Gregory

David and Oswald

Pretty much all four of these boys have some unique connections

Duality in the Adults:

Michael Afton and Michael Schmidt

Michael Afton and Vanessa Afton

Michael and William

William, Henry and Edwin

M1 and M2's eyes

Glitch trap and M1

And those were just the ones I could think of off the top of my head, but some of these probably deserve their own explanation

For now I want to stick with the animatronics but this probably will be multiple posts to explain some of these things

When it comes to the animatronics none represent duality better than Sun and Moon and eclipse for when they become whole we see this a lot in secret of the mimic too but they're not the only ones who have a unique duality to them (whether you want to call them parallels or not is up to you)

Tiger rock and Golden Freddy

Even though these two animatronics (or characters I guess) have a different amount of kids inside of them, the theme of duality is still there

The heterochromic eyes

The two spirits of golden Freddy

at one point before SOTM was theorized to represent Charlie and Elizabeth because of the swirling code we saw in ruin and what the books were telling us about but I just don't think that's the case. If those two colors are supposed to represent those two girls shouldn't the colors be purple and green instead of blue and green because Elizabeth size with her father, and think about it the color green is technically associated with both girls, one has green eyes and the other one has a green bracelet that the security puppet is supposed to respond to, if green is supposed to represent safety why is it also being shown to have negative connotations too remember baby's eyes when green after Elizabeth Possessed her. I believe that both of the eyes actually represent David not just because he might have had heterochromia but because of the way he views his family safe but highly emotional and when you let your emotions get out of hand you tend to do things you would later on regretThe two spirits of golden Freddy

The relationship between Evan and Cassidy is quite interesting don't you think considering she was killed by his dad you would think she would hate him but the fact that she even allows him to speak to Michael during the original games shows that she doesn't hate him and probably feels bad for what happened to him, this is interesting considering just like them David has a similar nature when it comes to the fazbear technician Arnold, he's playful and doesn't hate him but will still attack him, but because he's much younger than the other spirits it could be the fact that he thinks they're playing a game not fully aware or in control of his powers after all he was never stuffed inside of an animatronic or a suit. Not to mention many people have pointed out the fact that Evan and Cassidy were probably a lot like Gregory and Cassie in the main games and other point of duality here the relationship between these kids all comes crumbling down because of Afton in one way or another

I'll probably keep posting more about this as I think about it I just thought it was kind of interesting duality in this game tends to be everywhere and for me duality and parallels are very much similar like they go hand in hand so sorry if what I'm bringing up is just me paralleling things and drawing conclusions where are they probably aren't, but I guess that's the fun of theory crafting for you.

Tell me if you guys have noticed anything similar any parallels or duality or details from stuff like this

And as my favorite theorist said

But hey that's just a theory,

[4aceclover]

Secret of the mimic random thoughts again why I believe the Canon ending could be the secret ending

Okay anyone who knows more modern for FNAF games know that these games will have multiple endings and we all have to figure out which ones the Canon ending but I have a feeling that the secret ending could be the Canon ending and here's why

In the secret ending that's the only one where the M2 is in a position where fazbear entertainment can easily collect it without it fighting back

It's also the only ending where the M1 program is in a position where they can easily collect it after everything is said and done with Arnold

The ending that involves the cradle.exe program results in everything going up in flames but it's also an ending where the data retriever gets stolen from the mimic before it runs away, but we know for a fact that Dad a receiver has to be a piece of tech that fazbear has because where else would they have gotten the inspiration to create the faz wrench

The Murray house that's on top of that Hill that giant mansion is literally the FNAF 4 house if everything went up in flames then there's no way that William would have possibly gotten his hands on that house

Speaking of flames the cradle.exe ending causes everything to go up in flames but we know for a fact a lot of the animatronics we see in earlier games we're probably from this place a lot of them were Edwin's and Fiona's ideas if everything went up in flames they wouldn't have been able to collect all of that

Plus we know for a fact that in the secret ending Arnold hears someone getting closer to the door of the Mansion after he put M2 to sleep

Not to mention the fact that I think it's hinted at in the books that the reason why the mimic is burnt in security breach ruin is because Fall fest went up in flames but the mimic we've been running away from is not up in flames and Fiona dies at that Fall fest meaning this has to be a completely different mimic body

Or here's another idea perhaps it is the same mimic body but the Fall fest that Fiona dies in and the Fall fest that the mimic burns from is not the same it could be two completely different fall fests happening at two different times

Plus the idea of the Canon ending being the secret ending opens up a lot of possibilities for Arnold to come back and try to avenge the Murray family

We could learn more about David and how in the world he died (most likely because of William)

We could figure out how Fiona died at Fall fest and what exactly happened to Edwin during that final recording where the mimic is fixing its own legs

Plus Arnold is the only one who knows the truth about what happened to the Murrays and how William legit stole everything from Edwin so the idea of him coming back in a future game trying to let this information get known would be interesting

It could even tie back to Michael trying his hardest to take down his father

I get these games love to use fire as the Beall end all but based off with the books stated with that secret computer language that Edwin used to try and talk to the mimic version of David could you really put it past the game to try and do something like that have the secret ending be the Canon one

[wefordham]

Meeting 10/27/15: Asexual & Aromantic Spectrum Identities

hey bbs! i’m gonna catch up with the archive over the next few weeks and just post previous meetings out of order when i get to them: sorry about that. life is hectic. anyway

tonight we had a very info-dump style teaching meeting on ace & aro identities! gen and i facilitated and hopefully didn’t overwhelmed u all with too many terms and definitions. ace theory is super complex and aces love words. here’s the run down:

TERMS & DEFINITIONS

types of asexual identities:

asexual - a person who does not experience sexual attraction.

grey-asexual/greysexual - the grey area between asexual and allosexual. grey-ace can serve as an umbrella term for many other kinds of asexuality, and can encompass a variety of experiences, including but not limited to experiencing very low levels of sexual attraction, experiencing infrequent or highly situational sexual attraction, not being sure what sexual attraction means for you or whether or not you’re feeling it, etc.

demisexual - a person who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong connection (romantic or platonic) with a person. also a spectrum/diversity of experiences.

there are way more but these are some good starting points!

asexuality is a spectrum, or an orb in the void, there are so many different identities and different ways people use the same words to describe their experiences. it’s all valid & cool!

allosexual - experiencing sexual attraction. (e.g. non-asexual). 

types of aromantic identities:

aromantic - a person who does not experience romantic attraction.

greyromantic - the grey area between aromantic and alloromantic. can serve as an umbrella term and encompass a wide variety of identities and experiences. parallels grey-asexual in many ways, but with romantic feelings instead of sexual ones!

demiromantic - experiencing romantic attraction only after a strong (platonic) bond has been formed.

wtfromantic/quoiromantic - not experiencing a distinction between romantic and platonic feelings; not understanding what romantic attraction is or means. basically the word version of the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoticon when it comes to romance.

also way more types of romo identities!

aromanticism is also a spectrum

alloromantic - experiencing romantic attraction (non-aromantic).

types of attraction:

sexual attraction - “i wanna boink them” / when u look at a person and feel that u want to do the sex thing with them

aesthetic attraction - “they look cool n pretty” / when u admire a person’s appearance or style and just generally appreciate that

sensual attraction - “i wanna hug n cuddle n kiss them” / when u have a desire for physical touch and closeness. non-sexual physical intimacy.

romantic attraction - “i wanna do the date thing with them” / apparently, when u wanna hold hands and do the dating and be romantic? i don’t know. i don’t experience this as a separate thing lol anyway

affectional/platonic attraction - “i wanna be their friend and do friendship stuff” / when u want to be close with a person in a friend way and get to know them and do friendship things! cool. i also don’t experience this as a different thing from romo attraction so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

other vocab:

crush - you’re probably familiar with this one: warm n fuzzy feelings of the romo kind. when u have a romantic attraction for someone. etc

squish/squash - like a crush but for friends! a friend crush! also involved in queerplatonic stuff, see below (hence the vegetable word. still don’t know the deal with that) 

queerplatonic - an important non-romantic relationship that often functions as a primary partnership. this is not the same thing as being “best friends.” queerplatonic relationships are established relationships similarly to the way in which romo relationships function. they can be sexual or not depending on the relationship! 

zucchini - the name for your queerplatonic partner (e.g. “she’s my zucchini!”). who honestly knows why.

ways people feel about sex (can relate to allosexual people as well!)

sex indifferent - not having any strong feelings about sex; not particularly desiring it or disliking it either way.

sex averse/sex repulsed - disliking sex; repulsion indicates an even stronger negative feeling about sex, perhaps involving disgust.

sex favorable - enjoying sex; having an interest in doing sexual things

FURTHER DISCUSSION & MORE IN-DEPTH ACE THEORY

common myths about asexuality

asexual =/= celibate - asexual people can choose to have sex or to abstain from sex in the same way the allosexual people can. see below!

behavior =/= desire - engaging or not engaging in sex has no bearing on a person’s sexuality. a person’s capacity for sexual attraction has nothing to do with whether or not they have sex.

sexual attraction vs. sex drive - if sexual attraction is “i wanna boink them” then having a sex drive is like “i gotta boink” generally. your sex drive is your body’s physical craving/desire for sex, whereas sexual attraction is more of a mental thing: it’s what (and who) you want or don’t want. aces can have sex drives and may engage in sex to satisfy them.

“all ace people experienced trauma to make them this way!” - no!!! it is not the case that all aces have experienced trauma, or that trauma leads to aceness. it is absolutely true, however, that there are ace people who are survivors of trauma, and it is even true that some of them link their trauma to their identity as an ace person.

aces & trauma / sexual abuse

read more on the concept of the unassailable ace here and why it sucks!

if an ace person is a survivor of sexual abuse, whether or not they link their asexuality to that abuse, their identity as an ace person is valid. even if asexuality as a concept is only something that helps a person make sense of their experiences for a short period of time, it is still valid and it’s super important as an ally to support them!!!

ace people are also at risk for corrective rape, similarly to other queer identities

erasure/brokenness

because asexuality isn’t a widely discussed topic, many ace and aro people feel “broken” for not being able to experience sexual or romantic attraction in the same way they’ve been told other people do.

here is an article about the “invisible elephant” metaphor which is a really useful tool for understanding this concept!

“sex positivity”

sex positivity and sex negativity are terms that sound very similar to terms like “sex repulsion” that are used to describe personal comfort with sex, but refer to very different concepts.

“sex positive” feminism is a movement that seeks to reclaim (specifically female/non-male) sexual desire and sexuality as something positive rather than shameful, but often alienates ace people in the process because sex isn’t necessarily an “empowering” or “good” thing for ace people.

a great way to be an ally to ace people is to reaffirm the idea that whatever a person’s choice when it comes to sexuality and sexual desire, that choice is valid! regardless of sexuality, whether or not a person decides to engage in sex is their choice, and it’s up to that person to decide what is heathy, empowering, and safe for them.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

how can we make feminist spaces safer/more inclusive of ace and aro spectrum people?

how does ace and aro discourse open up new ways of thinking about sexuality and attraction? how does ace theory force us to rethink normative relationship models and imagine new possibilities?

that’s all! if you want to learn more about ace theory, drop us a message. BOY do we have a fuck ton of links for you!!!!!