#acewlws

[berrycobbler]

adhd and autistic butches?? LOVE them 💘💕💖💓💞💗

[ghostofthegods]

5 Xand smiles that make my gay heart sOAR 😍💖🌻

@crackmonkeytrash darling, you are the most wonderfully creative and dazzling person i have ever met. i love you infinitely 💖🌻💖🌻

[faely-written]

Oh, Enchantress how you charm me! Your light encompasses my soul, keeping me warm in the brisk chill of night. The ghost of you whispering sweet-nothings into my dreams. You have captured every essence of me.

[acesian]

On the bottomsona/acewlws debacle:

it appears that @acewlws​‘s final stance is that reblogging from bottomsona is up to each mod. This is ultimately their decision, and I respect that.

However, the reason I am still uncomfortable with the conclusion of these events is how Mod May handled the accusations of racism against bottomsona.

First, why are people accusing bottomsona of racism?

The blog has a history of white mods speaking over people of color. Although Mod S is now gone, this post has a white person saying headcanons of Asian men as ace are bad because it plays into the desexualization of Asian men. This ask is an example of the current and only mod saying something similar, calling these headcanons “inherently problematic”. 

The main problem with this argument is that it shifts the blame of the desexualization of Asian men from white people (like bottomsona) to aces, including Asian aces that would like to see themselves represented. It allows white people to get away with feeling like an ally without actually correcting the underlying racist beliefs that desexualize Asian men in the first place. Other problems include the erasure of aces of color and the desexualization of asexuality (which removes our sexual agency).

Here’s a more in-depth explanation from yours truly on why this headcanon argument is wrong. If you prefer, here’s a different response explaining why bottomsona is overstepping their place. Here’s a link (you can check out the notes) to many, many other people with the same sentiment.

This response is especially appalling because the discussion of racism is between two white people. Neither bottomsona nor the anon should be making the comparison of “cishet” aces to racist white people. Also, aces aren’t an inherently privileged group, unlike white people, so if they wanted to just say “cishets”, they should have just said “cishets”.

In conclusion, white people speaking over people of color is racist, regardless of the headcanon discourse. 

What’s the problem with acewlws’s response?

Mod May is white, as noted in the “mods” section of their about. The original ask to acewlws criticizing bottomsona included racism as one of the reasons. Mod May reasonably asked for receipts, however, when they were provided, her only response was “I’m white, so I can’t comment on them much“.

This is an inappropriate response from a white person to people of color saying something is racist. 

As I said in my response to acewlws, saying “I’m white, so I can’t comment on them much” dismisses the racism. Mod May’s comment implied that she didn’t think it was racist, as I highly doubt she would have made the same comment on something more obvious. However, the ask wasn’t looking for Mod May’s opinion on if it was racist or not. A person of color had already determined it was racist, and it’s not up to a white person to contend that. Think about it—if a gay person tells a straight person something is homophobic, would you want the straight person to say “I can’t comment”? White people need to trust people of color in determining what is racist or not. Otherwise, you are implying that we are not capable of understanding our own experiences. 

In their final post, there was no mention of racism, despite being one of the initial complaints. Acewlws never responded to my comment, either. This means this issue was almost entirely ignored. 

I don’t think Mod May was intentionally racist, nor do I think she is a racist person. However, this should be an opportunity for her (and other white people) to think more critically about how they respond. Discussions of race can be uncomfortable, and I know there are concerns about staying in one’s lane. But disregarding claims of racism is not the way to combat it. Listening to people of color and not speaking over them is a step in the right direction.

[lilaebard]

there is a shit ton of misinformation about going around about asexuality and aromaticism right now (even from v well-intentioned people who are trying to support us!!), so please please PLEASE take a minute to actually educate yourself and watch this helpful intro video!!

[berrycobbler]

it’s me,,,,,, your local adhd lesbian here to send out all the love i have to autistic wlw. y'all are just too wonderful!

[t/erfs don't interact]

[berrycobbler]

🌻lesbians who use neopronouns are wonderful🌻

[crackmonkeytrash]

Happy One Year Anniversary to my soulmate Kryssy @hollyjinx

i love you so very much, my dear <3 Here’s to our forever <3