more people need to be aware of the term alterous attraction (a desire for a close emotional connection with someone, but it's not completely romantic or platonic) and use it instead of calling everything a qpr. because by calling everything a qpr you are turning that term into a label instead of what it actually is - an umbrella term for many non conventional types of relationships.
we all know "I can't love you the way you want me to" said by an aroace person, but what about "I can't love you the way you want me to" said by an allo person to an aroace person. Like. Them only being able to love strongly in a romantic way and not in a platonic, let alone alterous way.
I need to scream into my pillow
Attraction Types, Aspec Identities, & Other Orientations
[PT: Attraction Types, Aspec Identities, & Other Orientations.]
(Check out sex & gender terms here [link], gendered attraction terms here [link], and relationship orientations here [link.])
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Attraction Types
[PT: Attraction types.]
Social Attraction: An umbrella term for any attraction that is social in nature. What is considered under this umbrella is up for personal interpretation, but oftentimes it includes platonic and familial attraction.Ā
Emotional Attraction: An umbrella term for any attraction that is emotional in nature. What is considered under this umbrella is up to personal interpretation, but oftentimes it includes platonic, familial, romantic, queerplatonic, and alterous attraction.Ā
Platonic Attraction: A platonic desire for someone/something. What is considered "platonic" varies from culture to culture, however it typically includes desires such as sharing hobbies, sharing emotions, and oftentimes some degree of physical touch (though that is not always necessary.) It is often described as "a desire for companionship." The platonic desire for someone/something is a Squish (ie; "I have a squish on Dustin.")Ā
A Passionate Friendship/Affectionate Friendship is a platonic relationship that holds a high level of commitment and/or energy, and is ranked towards the top of an individual's personal relationship tier list. The platonic partner of someone with a passionate friendship is called a PF. The desire for a passionate friendship with someone/something is a Pash. Some people consider passionate friendships to be QPRs.
Familial Attraction: A familial desire for someone/something. What is considered "familial" varies from culture to culture, however it typically includes similar desires to platonic attraction, except it usually has more focus around starting traditions and sharing assets. Familial attraction is not limited to blood/legal relatives, nor is it necessarily always felt towards blood/legal relatives either.Ā
Romantic Attraction: A romantic desire for someone/something. What is considered "romantic" varies from culture to culture/person to person, however it typically includes desires such as sharing hobbies, sharing emotions, having dates, potentially living together/sharing assets, potentially marriage/legal partnership, potentially starting a family together, and/or intimate physical or emotional interactions that the person would not be comfortable doing with people they have non-romantic feelings for. The romantic desire for someone/something is a Crush.Ā
People with romantic attraction often have physical sensations around their crushes. This might include fuzzy/tingling feelings in the stomach or chest, heart-racing or heart-pounding, feelings of warmth in the stomach/chest or neck/face/shoulders, goosebumps or an electric feeling when touched by them, difficulty breathing (or an easier time breathing around them), and lightheadedness.
They may also have emotional responses to being around their crush, such as increased anxiety in comparison to when they are around non-crushes (typically worries of embarrassing themself, seeming weird, or offending their crush) or lessened anxiety/a feeling of ease and comfortability they don't experience around non-crushes.
A Soft Romo is a romantic relationship that holds a low level of commitment and/or energy, and is treated rather casually. The desire for a soft romo with someone/something is a Fluff.Ā
Queerplatonic Attraction: A queerplatonic desire for someone/something. āQueerplatonicā generally describes attraction that is intensely platonic with traditionally romantic qualities (while having no romantic attraction involved), or somewhere in-between romantic and platonic attraction. A queerplatonic relationship is often called a QPR. The queerplatonic partner of someone is sometimes called a Marshmallow/Mellowfriend or Zucchini. The queerplatonic desire for someone/something is a Squish, Squash, Plush, or Crish.
Alterous Attraction: An alterous desire for someone/something. āAlterousā generally describes a deep emotional attraction that is not distinctly romantic or platonic, but from an outside lens is misinterpreted in that way. Sometimes queerplatonic attraction is considered to be under the alterous umbrella, however alterous attraction can also describe emotional attraction that is completely disconnected from platonic and romantic attraction whatsoever. The alterous desire for someone/something is a Mesh or Hush.
Physical Attraction: An umbrella term for any attraction that is physical in nature. This includes aesthetic, sensual, and sexual attraction.Ā
Aesthetic Attraction: An aesthetic desire for someone/something. āAestheticā (in this context) generally describes a personās physical characteristics (hair, eyes, shape, voice, etc), a personās presentation (fashion, hairstyle, etc), and/or how a person carries themself (body language, āvibeā, etc.) The aesthetic desire for someone/something is a Swish or Thete.
Sensual Attraction: A sensual desire for someone/something. āSensualā generally describes non-sexual physical touch, however it can also include voice and scent. A sensual relationship is often called a Senseship. The sensual desire for someone/something is a Lush.
Sexual Attraction: A sexual desire for someone/something. This generally includes a desire for touching/groping and/or enacting kinks/fetishes that provide sexual pleasure. A purely sexual relationship is often called an Intimaship, while a sexual & platonic relationship is often called a Casual Relationship/Friends With Benefits.
Libido describes a bodyās physical desire for sex. This differs from sexual attraction, because sexual attraction is directed at someone/something, meanwhile libido is the body craving sexual release. Libido and sexual attraction can align for people who experience both, however they can also occur unaligned.
Allolibidoist/Normolibidoist describes a person who experiences regular spikes in their libido. Hyperlibidoist describes a person who experiences more spikes in their libido than most other people. Hypolibidoist describes a person who rarely experiences spikes in their libido, or whose libido spikes are dull and donāt last very long. Non-Libidoist describes a person who has no libido.
Sexual Arousal describes the bodyās physical response to touch in a sexually sensitive area, or the bodyās physical response to sexual attraction or libido. This includes genital arousal (wetness, erections, heat, etc), and/or physical responsiveness elsewhere in the body (ie; blushing.) A person can experience sexual arousal while not experiencing sexual attraction or a libido spike (ie; a person who is accidentally touched on their crotch may grow aroused, even if they do not find the person who touched them to be attractive.) Arousal is not the same as desire, as a person can be aroused and distressed or uncomfortable by their arousal.
Waveric Attraction/Waverous Attraction/Fluidic Attraction: A fluid desire for someone/something. For example, a person who feels platonic attraction towards someone one day, and romantic attraction towards them the next. The waveric desire for someone/something is called a Wish.
Nonrose Attraction: An umbrella term for any attraction that is not romantic or sexual ("ro" being for romance, and "se" being for sexual attraction.)Ā
Loveless: A person who feels disconnected to the word āloveā, and wishes to describe their enjoyment or attachment towards things with other words (ie; appreciation, admiration, connection, etc) or with no words at all. This could be due to neurodivergence, feeling rejected by the culture surrounding love, etc. Heartless is a similar term, describing a person who feels disconnected from love and romance.Ā
Attraction Stances: A collection of terms to describe how a person feels about attraction-based experiences/actions. The stances are generally sorted into five categories - favorable, indifferent, averse, repulsed, and ambivalent.Ā
In terms of experiences/actions, it is generally sorted into the following categories - social, emotional, friendship/plato (platonic attraction), family, romance, queerplatonic, alterous, physical, look (aesthetic attraction), touch (sensual attraction), and sex.
A person's stances may sometimes change over time, either randomly or due to psychological exploration and/or traumatic experiences.
-Favorable describes a person who has positive feelings towards the experience/actions. For example, a friendship-favorable person enjoys platonic interactions.
-Indifferent/-Neutral describes a person who has neutral feelings towards the experiences/actions. For example, a look-indifferent person who has no strong feelings about aesthetic attraction.
-Averse describes a person who experiences personal dislike towards the experience/actions, but not necessarily dislike towards it as a concept. For example, a sex-averse person who dislikes the idea of being in a sexual setting (ie; strip club), but doesnāt mind hearing about other peopleās experiences there.
-Repulsed describes a person who experiences repulsion towards the experiences/actions, often to a point where they feel physical distress (anxiety, nausea, etc) at even the concept. For example, a romance-repulsed person who feels visceral discomfort at romantic actions, even when it's exchanged between other people.
-Ambivalent describes a person who experiences complicated or fluid feelings towards the experiences/actions. For example, a touch-ambivalent person who feels extreme discomfort towards touch sometimes, while seeking out touch other times.
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Aspec Identities & Other OrientationsĀ
[PT: Aspec Identities & other Orientations]Ā
Allo-: A person who experiences regular, strong levels of attraction. Allo- people feel attraction in either a burst of attraction (ie; instant sexual attraction) or a gradual progression (ie; progressively experiencing more and more social desire for someone), and the attraction levels do not dissipate unless they are experiencing personal unfulfillment (ie; an alloromantic person whose partner is not making time for them resulting in a loss of romantic feelings, an alloplatonic person whose friend is growing apart in life, etc.) Allo- people do not require deep connections to develop the initial attraction, however they may require a deeper connection in order for that attraction to remain.
Asocial (Aso): A person that does not experience allotypical social attraction. Bold Stripe Asocial describes a person who feels no social attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe asocials can have any attraction stance, including being socially-favorable. The Asocial Spectrum (Aso-Spec/Asospec) describes people who are asocial and/or greysocial, though it may also sometimes include allosocial people who are socially-indifferent, socially-averse, socially-repulsed, and/or socially-ambivalent.
Aemotional (Aemo): A person that does not experience allotypical emotional attraction. Bold Stripe Aemotional describes a person who feels no emotional attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe aemotionals can have any attraction stance, including being emotionally-favorable. The Aemotional Spectrum (Aemo-Spec/Aemospec) describes people who are aemotional and/or greyemotional, though it may also sometimes include alloemotional people who are emotionally-indifferent, emotionally-averse, emotionally-repulsed, and/or emotionally-ambivalent.
Aplatonic (Apl): A person that does not experience allotypical platonic attraction. Bold Stripe Aplatonic describes a person who feels no platonic attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe aplatonics can have any attraction stance, including being friendship-favorable. The Aplatonic Spectrum (Apl-Spec/Aplspec) describes people who are aplatonic and/or greyplatonic, though it may also sometimes include alloplatonic people who are friendship-indifferent, friendship-averse, friendship-repulsed, and/or friendship-ambivalent.
Afamilial (Afam): A person that does not experience allotypical familial attraction. Bold Stripe Afamilial describes a person who feels no familial attraction whatsoever. A bold stripe afamilials can have any attraction stance, including being family-favorable. The Afamilial Spectrum (Afam-Spec/Afamspec) describes people who are afamilial and/or greyfamilial, though it may also sometimes include allofamilial people who are family-indifferent, family-averse, family-repulsed, and/or family-ambivalent.
Aromantic (Aro): A person that does not experience allotypical romantic attraction. Green Stripe Aromantic/Bold Stripe Aromantic describes a person who feels no romantic attraction whatsoever. Green stripe aromantics can have any attraction stance, including being romance-favorable. The Aromantic Spectrum (Aro-Spec/Arospec) describes people who are aromantic and/or greyromantic, though it may also sometimes include alloromantic people who are romance-indifferent, romance-averse, romance-repulsed, and/or romance-ambivalent.
Aqueerplatonic (Aqp): A person that does not experience allotypical queerplatonic attraction. Bold Stripe Aqueerplatonic describes a person who feels no queerplatonic attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe aqueerplatonics can have any attraction stance, including being queerplatonic-favorable. The Aqueerplatonic Spectrum (Aqp-Spec/Aqpspec) describes people who are aqueerplatonic and/or greyqueerplatonic, though it may also sometimes include alloqueerplatonic people who are queerplatonic-indifferent, queerplatonic-averse, queerplatonic-repulsed, and/or queerplatonic-ambivalent.
Analterous (Analt): A person that does not experience allotypical alterous attraction. Bold Stripe Analterous describes a person who feels no alterous attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe analterous people can have any attraction stance, including being alterous-favorable. The Analterous Spectrum (Analt-Spec/Analtspec) describes people who are analterous and/or greyalterous, though it may also sometimes include alloalterous people who are alterous-indifferent, alterous-averse, alterous-repulsed, and/or alterous-ambivalent.
Aphysical (Aphys): A person that does not experience allotypical physical attraction. Bold Stripe Aphysical describes a person who feels no physical attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe aphysicals can have any attraction stance, including being physical-favorable. The Aphysical Spectrum (Aphys-Spec/Aphyspec) describes people who are aphysical and/or greyphysical, though it may also sometimes include allophysical people who are physical-indifferent, physical-averse, physical-repulsed, and/or physical-ambivalent.
Anaesthetic (Anae)/Nonaesthetic (Nonae): A person that does not experience allotypical aesthetic attraction. Bold Stripe Anaesthetic describes a person who feels no aesthetic attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe anaesthetics can have any attraction stance, including being look-favorable. The Anaesthetic Spectrum/Nonaesthetic Spectrum (Anae-Spec/Anaespec/Nonae-Spec/Nonaespec) describes people who are anaesthetic and/or greyaesthetic, though it may also sometimes include alloaesthetic people who are look-indifferent, look-averse, look-repulsed, and/or look-ambivalent.
Asensual (Asen): A person that does not experience allotypical sensual attraction. Bold Stripe Asensual describes a person who feels no sensual attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe asensuals can have any attraction stance, including being touch-favorable. The Asensual Spectrum (Asen-Spec/Asenspec) describes people who are asensual and/or greysensual, though it may also sometimes include allosensual people who are touch-indifferent, touch-averse, touch-repulsed, and/or touch-ambivalent.
Asexual (Ace): A person that does not experience allotypical sexual attraction. Black Stripe Asexual/Bold Stripe Asexual describes a person who feels no sexual attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe asexuals can have any attraction stance (including being sex-favorable) as well as any libido. The Asexual Spectrum (Ace-Spec/Acespec) describes people who are asexual and/or greysexual, though it may also sometimes include allosexual people who are hypolibidoist, non-libidoist, sex-indifferent, sex-averse, sex-repulsed, and/or sex-ambivalent.
Aroace: A person that does not experience allotypical romantic and sexual attraction. Black Stripe Aroace describes a person who feels no romantic or sexual attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe aroaces can have any attraction stance, including being sex-favorable and romance-favorable.
Anattractional: A person who does not experience allotypical attraction. Black Stripe Anattractional describes a person who feels no attraction whatsoever. Bold stripe annattractionals can have any attraction stances.
The Anattractional Spectrum (A-spec/Aspec) is an umbrella term for the asocial, aemotional, aplatonic, afamilial, aromantic, aqueerplatonic, analterous, aphysical, anaesthetic, asensual, and asexual spectrums. It may also sometimes include non-partnering people.
Being aqueerplatonic and analterous is considered a social norm for alloromantics in most locations, however there is often societal pressure for arospec people to experience queerplatonic or alterous attraction as a āreplacementā for their romantic attraction. An alloromantic being aqp/analt is generally considered a nonqueer experience, while an aromantic being aqp/analt is generally considered queer.
Grey-: A person who experiences attraction on low levels and/or only under specific circumstances.
Pseudo-: A person who has an experience that mimics a form of attraction which they do not experience. For example, an asexual person who experiences sensual attraction that is so strong that it mimics sexual attraction may use the label pseudosexual.Ā
-Flux: A person whose level of attraction fluctuates. For example, an anaeflux person who fluctuates between being bold stripe anaesthetic, greyaesthetic, and alloaesthetic.
-Spike: A person who is usually bold stripe or grey-, but experiences rare intense spikes of attraction, which dissipate soon after. For example, an asenspike person who is usually greysensual, but every few months experiences strong sensual attraction.
-Jump: A person who usually experiences allo- levels of attraction but experiences rare intense drops of attraction for a short period of time, before their usual levels of attraction return. For example, an apl-jump person who is usually alloplatonic, but every few years experiences a week or two of aplatonicism.
Aego-: An a-spec term for a person who enjoys/experiences an aspect of attraction, but feels repulsed or indifferent about engaging with others in real life. A person may be aego in all forms of attraction, or only in one form (ie; being alloromantic but aegosexual, allorose but aegosensual, etc).
Some aego- experiences may includeā¦
- Craving/indulging in attraction-based acts in private, but feeling distaste or disinterest about including others (ie; An aegosexual person who masturbates, but feels repulsed about having sex.)
- Having fantasies, but only ever imagining other people, never themself (ie; An aegosensual person who imagines people cuddling, but feels disinterested at the idea of themself being involved.)
- Having fantasies, but every other person is faceless or unidentifiable (ie; An aegoromantic person who imagines a wedding with a blacked-out figure, but the idea of marrying someone in reality repulses them.)
- Having unachievable fantasies that cannot be recreated in reality (ie; An aegoalterous person who imagines having an astronaut x extraterrestrial relationship with their hush, but feels indifferent about having a real relationship with their hush.)
- Only ever experiencing attraction towards unachievable people (ie; celebrities, sub-celebrities, fictional characters, historical figures, etc). This is also known as being Procul-.Ā
Procul- subtypes include Cele-/Celeb- (primary attraction to celebrities/sub-celebrities), Ficto- (primary attraction to fictional characters), Anime-/Manga- (primary attraction to anime/manga characters), Carto- (primary attraction to cartoon/comic characters), Inrea- (primary attraction to live action characters), Booklo-/Novelo- (primary attraction to book characters), Gamo- (primary attraction to video game characters), and Imagi- (primary attraction to characters that have no visual reference, such as characters from podcasts, audiobooks, books without photographs, etc.)
Litho-: An a-spec term for a person who experiences attraction, but loses it once itās been reciprocated. If it is reciprocated, it will either gradually fade away with time, or immediately dissipate.
Aliqua-: An a-spec term for a person who experiences attraction under specific circumstances. These circumstances can be anything, and vary from person-to-person (ie; a person who only feels attraction during autumn.) Aliqua- subtypes include recipro-, poten-, loqui-, noeti-, demi-, fray-, apex-, valis-, den-, daleko-, blisko-, and chronosa-.
Recipro- describes a person who can only reciprocate attraction, meaning that they only experience attraction towards people who confess that they are attracted to them first, or people who they notice are attracted to them first. Their newfound attraction could either flood them all at once, or it could slowly begin building once they discover the person is interested in them.
Poten- describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone who they know has the potential to reciprocate. For example, a gay man who discovers that their coworker is achillean, and begins to develop attraction towards their coworker as a result. The coworker doesnāt have to confess first, and may not actually be interested in them; it is simply the potential of a relationship that allows the attraction to develop.
Loqui- describes a person who only feels attracted towards someone that they have individually interacted with before. This does not mean that they will be attracted to every person they interact with; itās just that interacting with someone is what opens the potential for attraction. Some loqui- people are only able to experience attraction towards people they have one-on-one interactions with, while other loqui- people can develop attraction to people theyāve interacted with in group settings as well. They cannot develop attraction towards peers theyāve never spoken to, strangers they havenāt spoken to, celebrities/sub-celebrities that theyāve never met, fictional characters, historical figures, etc.
Noeti- describes a person who only feels attracted towards someone that they have a mental connection with. This mental connection could be religious beliefs, political beliefs, moral beliefs, special interests/hyperfixations, shared hobbies, or just general shared mindsets. Emotional closeness is not necessary for attraction to develop - only mental closeness is necessary.
Demi- describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone that they have a deep personal connection with. It may take weeks, months, or even years for a demi- person to develop attraction towards somebody, depending on how often and in-depth they talk to this person. It differs from noeti-, because demi- people can develop attraction towards people with vastly different mindsets to oneself (so long as they have an emotional connection), while noeti- people cannot.
Fray- describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone that they do not know well. As they get to know someone, their attraction fades away. It is considered the opposite of noeti- and demi-.
Apex- describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone that they have a deep personal connection with - however, once the relationship deepens even further, the attraction fades away again. The attraction is brief and inevitable to fade every time they develop feelings for someone they grow close to. Apex- is considered a mix of demi- and fray-, where demi-attraction leads into fray-attraction.
Valis-/Igcedimus describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone that they do not know well. As they get to know someone, their attraction fades away - however, once the relationship deepens even further, the attraction begins to return. Valis- is considered a mix of fray- and demi-, where fray-attraction leads into demi-attraction.
Den-/Ochi- describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone they are not interacting with. Once they interact with a person again, the attraction either pauses, begins to fade, or instantly dissipates. It may or may not resume/return again as they spend time apart.
Daleko- describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone they are physically distant with. Daleko- people tend to prefer long-distance relationships and calls/texting over meeting in-person. If they meet in-person, their attraction either pauses, begins to fade, or instantly dissipates. It may or may not resume/return again as they go back to long-distance.
Blisko- describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone they are in the physical presence of. Blisko- people may only experience attraction during face-to-face interactions, or they may also experience it during video calls or while looking at photos.
Chronosa- describes a person who only feels attraction towards someone after a long amount of time. Unlike demi-, it doesnāt take knowing someone well; just knowing them for a long time. Sometimes chronosa- people can tell that they will develop attraction towards someone before it happens, and can take steps to prepare for it.
Cupio-: An a-spec term for a person who does not experience a specific type of attraction, but desires a relationship/experience based upon that attraction (ie; a bold stripe aromantic person who desires a romance-based relationship.) Fray- or apex- people might identify as cupio- if they decide to continue a relationship with someone, even after their attraction fades. People with attraction-based/relation-based jobs may use this label as well (ie; sex workers who have sexual interactions with people they are not attracted to.)
The cupio- label may be applied to specific genders. For example, a person who is triaqueerplatonic, but cupioqueerplatonic towards binary genders.
Cupiohex describes someone that is mono straight/strayt, but engages in sapphic/achillean (possibly certain types of diamoric) relationships/experiences. Cupiogex describes someone that is mono uranian or mono lesbian, but engages in straight relationships/experiences.
Orchid-: An a-spec term for someone that feels attraction, but is incapable of acting upon it due to mental or physical disconnect. Orchid- people have never felt the desire to act upon their attraction.
Nopota-: An a-spec term for someone that feels attraction, but does not have the energy to act on it. This could be due to neurodivergence, trauma, disability/dysfunction, or it could have no specific reason. Unlike orchid- people, nopota- people do desire to act upon their attraction; they are simply incapable of it.Ā
Woland-: An a-spec term for someone whose attraction decreases based upon their disability. For example, someone who becomes fully asexual whenever their chronic pain spikes up. Not all disabled people are woland-.
-vague: An a-spec term for someone who has limited attraction due to their neurodivergence. For example, a person who is touch-repulsed due to being a germaphobe, and feels as though their touch-repulsion limits their ability to feel sensual or sexual attraction. Not all neurodivergent people are -vague.
Asovague is for social attraction, Aemovague is for emotional attraction, Aplvague is for platonic attraction, Afamvague is for familial attraction, Arovague is for romantic attraction, Aqpvague is for queerplatonic attraction, Analtvague is for alterous attraction, Aphysvague is for physical attraction, Anaevague is for aesthetic attraction, Asenvague is for sensual attraction, Acevague is for sexual attraction, Aroacevague/Arosevague is for sexual & romantic attraction, and Awavague is for waveric attraction.Ā
Eras-: An a-spec term for someone who feels as though they used to be allo-, but their attraction was erased. Caed- is the same as eras-, but specifically for someone who lost their attraction due to trauma. For both eras- and caed-, traces of their attraction may still remain.
Eligere-: An a-spec term for someone who can actively choose who they are attracted to, and ignite feelings of attraction at will. They may be able to ignite their attraction on the spot, or they may need time to focus on the person and build the attraction.
Anseqresexual: An ace-spec term for someone that only feels sexual attraction if no romantic attraction is involved. What counts as āromanticā depends on the individual. For example, Zym is anseqresexual, and has a romantic relationship with Alexni, and a sexual relationship with Galaxis. If Galaxis expresses romantic interest (such as offering to go on a date), Zym feels disinterested or repulsed by it - and vice versa if Alexni expresses sexual interest.Ā
Another example is that Zym has a romantic and sexual relationship with Suko, but keeps both aspects separated. If Suko mixes romantic gestures with sexual ones (ie; putting rose petals on the bed, using a romantic nickname, etc), Zym feels disinterested in engaging further. However, if Suko keeps both things separated - such as having a date in the morning, and engaging in sex during the night, with no overlap - Zym would be interested.
Ansequencesexual: An ace-spec term for someone that only feels sexual attraction to people if no romantic attraction is felt. If romantic attraction develops, the sexual attraction fades, as if the romantic attraction is taking its place. They may still have sexual relationships for the sake of libido, physical intimacy with their partner, physical pleasure, etc.
Ansequenceromantic: An aro-spec term for someone that only feels romantic attraction to people if no sexual attraction is felt. If sexual attraction develops, the romantic attraction fades, as if the sexual attraction is taking its place.
Ansequencerose: An aro-spec and ace-spec term for someone that is both ansequencesexual and ansequenceromantic. If they feel sexual attraction to someone first, and romantic attraction develops, the romantic attraction takes the place of the sexual attraction. If they feel romantic attraction to someone first, and sexual attraction develops, the sexual attraction takes the place of the romantic attraction.
Orgasace describes someone who is incapable of orgasming, due to losing their sexual attraction towards the person they are engaging sexually with at the last moment.Ā
Orgasflux describes someone who fluctuates between being capable of orgasming, and being orgasace. Orgasspike describes someone who is usually incapable of orgasming due to losing their sexual attraction last second, but on rare and sudden spikes of being capable of orgasm.Ā
Orgasexceptis describes someone who is only capable of orgasming with one or a few select people, unrelated to the sexual skill of the person/people (ie; a polyamorous person who can only orgasm with one of their partners, despite the other partners being sexually skilled and not doing anything wrong.)
Uni-: An a-spec identity, in which a person is only attracted to a singular person for a very long period of time, potentially their entire lifetime. For example, a uniromantic person who is only attracted to one person for a decade, and once the decade is over, they finally develop a crush on a second person. This does not necessarily mean that they obsessed over their crush for all those years - their attraction may have faded rather quickly - it is just that they did not experience a second crush for a very long time.
A uni- person does not have to be close to the person they experienced attraction towards. For example, they may have experienced attraction towards a stranger.
Soloamare is similar to uni-, but instead of being attracted to only one person, they are attracted to a select few people.
Auto-: A term describing a person that is attracted to oneself. Most people experience small amounts of self-attraction (ie; looking at oneself in the mirror and thinking āI look nice todayā), however auto- people experience it at a high enough level that it is considered significant.Ā
Auto- people may be primarily or exclusively attracted to themself, or they may experience attraction to both themself and other people. If they experience attraction to other people, they may use additional labels (ie; a neutrois person that is attracted to themself and women may use the term bi-auto, biauto, auto-bi, autobi, etc.) Even if a person is exclusively self-attracted, these additional labels might be used by multigender autos who are only attracted to themself when they are a specific gender, or autos who are only attracted to themself with specific presentations (ie; a fin-auto person who is only attracted to themself when dressed femininely).
Auto attraction is not the same as selfishness or egoism. An auto person can be humble (or even have low self-esteem), while still finding themself attractive.
Self-Partnering: A term describing a person who dates oneself. They may or may not be auto- as well, or they may be dating oneself for other reasons, such as spiritual reasons, as a political statement, etc. Autoamory describes a person who dates oneself while also dating other people.
Autospec: An umbrella term for all auto- orientations, including self-partnering and autoamory.
Ecto-: A person who is exclusively attracted to (and dating, if they are interested in dating) people other than oneself; the opposite of auto-.
Objectum/Pygmalio-: Attraction towards objects. These objects can be physical (ie; consumable items, cloth items, decorative items, toys, technological items, furniture, plants, buildings, physical art, etc) or non-physical (ie; flavors, music, logos, programs, digital art, etc.) Objectum people may be attracted to specific types of objects (ie; only attracted to plants and wooden furniture), or attracted to any type of object.Ā
Many (but not all) objectum people are neurodivergent in some way (typically with a neurodevelopmental disability or synaesthesia, but other neurodivergence can apply as well), or believe in animism (the concept that objects have souls.) Some objectum people apply personalities and identities onto the objects they are attracted to, while others are attracted to objects without any personality/identity being applied.
Objectum people may be exclusively attracted to objects, or they might be attracted to people as well. If an objectum person is only attracted to objects that they give specific gendered identities to, they may use an additional label to describe that (ie; a woman who is only attracted to objects that they view as āwomenā may call themself lesbian-objectum/objectum-lesbian/lesbijectum/objectbian.)
Objectum people often refer to the objects of their attraction as Beloved Objects. Beloved objects can be private (objects that a person owns) or public (objects that are publicly available, such as a slide at a public park.)
Idisexual: A label describing someone that is not sexually attracted to sex traits, but is sexually attracted to other traits instead. This could be physical traits (ie; tattoos, skin tags, height, hair color, etc) or non-physical traits (gestures, hobbies, fashion, titles, names, etc.) They may or may not consider themself to be ace-spec.
Pronoun-/Prono-: A label describing someone who is only attracted to people who use specific pronouns (ie; a person who is attracted to people who use neopronouns.) For some people, this attraction is gender-specific and may be combined with another label (ie; a a prono-triasexual who is only attracted to non-binary people who use xe/xem, xe/xer, ze/zem, or zi/zer, or similar pronouns), while for other people this term this term is used to describe attraction to people regardless of gender (ie; a person who is attracted to people who use she/her pronouns, regardless of whether they are a woman, non-binary, a pronoun non-conforming man, etc.)Ā
Nomine- describes someone who is only attracted to people who use specific names (ie; someone who is only attracted to people who use the name Jess/Jesse, Jessie, or Jessica.)
Idisexual, pronoun-, and nomine- may all overlap with objectum, as part of the attraction may be rooted in the objects/concepts themselves (ie; an idisexual objectum person may be attracted to specific fashion items on a person, because they are attracted to the clothes themselves, which in turn causes them to be attracted to the person wearing said clothes.)
platonic/alterous hanahaki where they donāt want a romantic relationship, they just want to be the most special. they want to be the most valued person in that personās life, to be oh so close, without that romance, without that expectation. they canāt figure out why or how, but at that point, they start coughing up yellow roses.
