#aro tag

[gemsandjunk]

tbh, sometimes the “platonic explanation for this” is the more interesting one

[boombox-fuckboy]

Aro week this week! Who's excited to become aromantic?

[aptericia]

Not proud to be here.

--

Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.

The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.

It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.

Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.

And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"

Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.

--

On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.

[echoing-st4rs]

I need to rest my head against your back with a resounding thump like a cat being bonked over the head with a cardboard paper towel roll

[transfreddietrumper]

more aroallo characters NOW

[seeingteacupsindragons]

what are your thoughts/opinions with senku being extremely aroace coded? (thoughts about representation, and such)

This is such a cool question, and I've been thinking about it since I saw it in my inbox but I've been too lazy to get on the computer until now.

I don't know that we can call Senku aro ace representation, actually. He's never called aro or ace or both in canon, and from Inagaki's comments, the fact that he is seems to have been entirely unintentional and not actually something he wanted.

Now, that doesn't really matter to how Senku reads. I've gotten into arguments on TVTropes about the fact that an author doesn't actually have to intentionally put something into a work for it to be a trope or whatever, and that was part of the reason I fully quit the site a while back.

Senku is pretty clearly aro, ace...kind of by default, I think, but I would agree he probably is. I think there's an argument to be made that he's gay, since he's never actually rejected a man because, well, Weekly Shonen Jump.

But a representative, or representation, actually has to be declared to stand in and/or speak for a group or person. If I place a meeple on a board, it is representing me because I declared I would be the black meeple on the game board. If I didn't say that...okay, my family would know because I always take the black meeple, but still, it needs to be clearly indicated that That One Is Me. A representative for a group has to actually declare or otherwise made clear they are standing for that group.

But Senku is aroace not because he is a declared member of or for a community. He just. Is. People recognize those things in him, because he displays the traits and indicator signs of being aro as shit.

I love that Senku is aro ace. I am also aro ace, and Senku getting to do what he loves, being recognized and respected for being fantastic at what he does, and hanging out with an enormous group of Best Friends Ever who adore him without having to have a romantic partner is the dream. He gets to live the dream and I am so happy for him.

Senku is someone I would point to as being aro ace to explain to some people what it looks like, maybe. He is someone I enjoy in part for those reasons and share with my friends for these reasons. I think he's a fantastic example of what an aro person can look like and what I want people to think of: he's emotional, he loves people, he cares so hard, he is dedicated to his friends, he's not exactly romance repulsed and supports his friends' romantic relationships. But he doesn't want any himself.

But I don't know that I'd actually call him representation, because he does not purport to speak for the community in any way.

So basically: this is a really interesting question that made me refine exactly what I think even is representation.

Thank you for the question! I hope kind of going off on a tangent is okay with you!

[bogkeep]

romance does not have a monopoly on love, you know this, that's step one. step two is that romance does not have a monopoly on yearning, on heartbreak. it's easy to think yourself immune, that you've been dealt a hand that'll let you dodge those arrows, but do you know how many ways there are to break a heart? how many ways there are to fall, even if not in love? your heart is just as strong as anyone's, so be kind to it.

[couriwaytown]

(hits your love themed character with the aro ray)