Right now I have the time to either get ahead for the week on work things OR spend time on tumblr. Haha, and here I am. I have so much I want to say so I'm going to break it into multiple posts
I got the results of the brain mapping. It was hard for me to understand so she labeled the categories and made several charts to help me. To simplify it as much as possible there was a strong indication towards ADHD, dyslexia, and autism. The strongest indications were for insomnia and anxiety. Depression was one of the lowest. In a different analysis, it showed that I can be "inattentive and deep in thought" while my brain is also "hyper aware, on guard, tense, and anxious"
Omfg, this explains so much! That contrast between being deep in thought and hyper aware is exactly how I feel. It's being pulled in two directions and trying to function like everyone else. This is most likely the ADHD. I've ALWAYS suspected I might have this but I didn't thinking people would believe me.
I'm also wondering how much of what I think is depression is actually about dealing with trauma, a lot of anxiety, trying to keep up with the rest of the world, and doing this while my brain is being pulled in different directions.
Add in the dyslexia and autism. Same thing. Will people believe me? I've thought about the autism for a long time. There are so many signs that RY even said to me "I wonder if you have autism". And the dyslexia make so much sense. She mentioned it's not just about letters. For me, it probably shows up as dyscalculia. And (random thought) now I'm wondering if all of the above leads to me skipping words when I type (my mind is moving too fast) or adding in extra words here and there.
On top of all of this, I am going through all of my belongings and "purging" aka going through all of my belongings, organizing things, and throwing out/donating things I don't need. While doing this I am came across a genetic test I did in 2015 that shows the different ways my brain will react to certain medications. My current psychiatrist has not seen this yet but he has done a good job of following these recommendations anyway. However, the report showed I am very susceptible to weight gain while taking antipsychotics. I know antipsychotics have a well know side-effect of weight gain. This is just saying I am more likely to have this as a side-effect. AND there are very few categories of medication that will have a strong influence on my brain. I remember taking this and now I'm remembering these results.
I will be taking both reports and showing my psychiatrist. He had asked me about the genesight test result a long time ago but I had no clue where I kept the them or if I even had it anymore. It looks like I do! I really, really hope all this information can lead to more effective treatment for me.
