tim discovers the “bruceman” fandom by accident at 2am. he’s doing research. normal research. looking for a crime syndicate, not… not that.
google: “bruce wayne bat—”
autocomplete: “bruce wayne batman boyfriend”
he pauses. stares. clicks. regrets.
the internet has created a ship between bruce wayne and batman. there’s fanart. there’s fanfics. there’s edits to “take me to church”. he sits there in silence for three whole minutes.
by morning, everyone knows:
Jason: who told the internet about bruceman and how do i bless their firstborn
Duke: i read one of the fics and bruce calls batman “my dark protector” im in tears
Tim: he crew. we both crode
Steph: STOPP i think i saw that one it had like 87k views!!!
Damian: This is blasphemy. This is against reason.
Dick: The fanart. The fanart
Damian: There is no dignity.
Cass: True love.
bruce walks in mid-chaos. sees bruceman on tim’s screen.
utter silence.
because the thing is. the thing is it was supposed to be a cover. a deterrent he’d only started (stupidly, naively started) so no one would ever consider the possibility that they were the same person!
so, in that perfect calm batman tone, he just says: “we are never speaking of this again” and just leaves. and that’s the day he almost retired.













