#confused aro

[sillymagikz]

A perspective on “love” and relationships from the lens of someone on the aroace spectrum but still craves romance.

More under the cut v

I’m on the aroace spectrum. Im not 100% sure what my specific orientation is, but my feelings are as such; I deeply desire romance and a deep connection with another person, and I often thought that I could fall in love, but anytime I enter a relationship, my “crush” quickly dies out. I thought that it was because of the relationship itself since I could be “in love” with my friends, but as soon as it became official, I would lose interest and begin retracting, damaging both me and my partner and that may be the case, so I tried a queerplatonic relationship, but I think since my boyfriend is not on the aromantic spectrum, our qpr ended up much more like a traditional romantic relationship. Our qpr was fine for a short while, but soon things became really serious and my feelings have since decayed, which really fucking sucks because he’s so amazing and sweet but I just don’t know if I want this anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t want to break his heart. I don’t want any of this anymore.

[just-wren617]

Something I thought was fake as an aromantic person was the idea in media where even when people know that a relationship is going to end painfully and they should stay away from each other, and they’d be half way through saying that, and then they’d start kissing, and like I thought that was just a fake thing that they used in media (don’t get me wrong, I love the trope, but like what?) like what do you mean that even though logic says you shouldn’t, you can’t help it? I don’t understand.

[arostellar]

all this situation got me thinking a lot because, how do you know when you like someone? how long does it take for you to be sure of your feelings? can it be one day, one week, one month, one year? it's so confusing, honestly.

because in my mind, it doesn't make sense that you want to start dating someone when you know the person for barely 4, 5 months. it feels too short!!!

and then after that you have to, make a new routine for that person, to focus in that person a little more....

oh god, all the dating process seems so tiring and i don't understand and i don't think i ever will.

[thejsorcerer]

you know I was thinking about something: I obviously know what a romantic relationship is right... but do I? What IS it really? What even is romance? "Someone you have romantic feelings for and have a relationship with" but what ARE these feelings. It sounds so fictional. I think I wouldn't be able to define what a romantic relationship is. I need answers please 🤨.

[thebadchoicemachine]

Fuck, am I cupioromantic? Quoiromantic? Demi? Polyamorous? I don't know what romance is but it seems nice but also I can’t imagine accepting a date from any real person. I don’t want a date I just want to date.

But then again, do I? 

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[thejsorcerer]

question: is romantic desire the same thing as romantic attraction?🤨