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Billy: *act like an adult* JLA: *eat it all* Con: Wait, you are Shazam? That Methuselah? Billy: *panic, can't lie* No, I'm just his champion! Con: *sees the magical aura around Marvel* Con: How old are you? Billy: Erm... Don't know... I have to go, BYE!
*later in Fawcett*
Con: So, where is our champion? Billy: *just walking around as a kid* Con: ... Con: I'm going to send that old man to hell.
canonically, billy and constantine kind of just tolerate each other at best, but i think constantine seeing the wizards 10 year old champion and going “okay what the hell guys. this is mine now” is so much funnier. he’s all “goddammit this kid is my responsibility fucking hell” and everyone’s like “john no one asked you to do that” and he’s like “no no, he’s mine”.
Uhm... Why do... Why do people don't like you?
- @reachingforthestar
Hm? Oh a lot of reasons, kid. You don't have to worry about it.
Give that man a child. It'll be funny.
Hey love, I wanted to ask why are you so afraid of Nanaue?
@itsconstantinebitch
He's ... He's big... And loud... And he talks like the star Disciples....
He's.... Idk.... He reminds me of him.
*there was a quiet knock on the door before it creaked open*
Kid? Are ya doin okay?..kid?
-🚬🥃 (( @h3llblazer ))
There is no Reply.
The Room smells strongly of peppermint.
You see a small elf doll resembling Candy surrounded by both wrapped and unwrapped gifts and notes crumpled up in frustration.
Give John Constantine a child -not because it would be particularly good for either of them, but because I want to watch John have more issues.
Billy and John play father and son out in public so Billy just starts calling him dad regularly and it becomes an inside joke. it slips out once when theyre around the league and everyone is like ????? bonus: Billy got tired of saying House Of Mystery every single time so he started just staying HOM and it eventually just turned into home so everyone is convinced theyre related
AWW YEAHHHHH (i didn't know if this was a fic request or not so i put this ask into a plot idea)
the league's got a disguise/infiltration mission one day, and john and cap are like, "we'll take care of this," and the league is like "alright," thinking that john will be with cap's civilian identity
the mission day comes, and the league is gaping at john having a kid/bruce wayne look-alike. john comes up with an excuse that cap's sick and he's gotta stay at the HOM to heal. billy's done with everything (specifically when diana or clark argue that a child is on a dangerous mission).
they do the mission, succeed, and everyone goes home. except the leaguers have a crisis whenever or not billy is john’s child, batman’s child, both, or cap’s. next day they probably have another crisis because john’s dating/married cap but why does their child look like bruce???? and isn’t john in a relationship with zatanna????
im also sure that some league members will come up with a poly relationship chart to decipher what kind of relationship john, billy, zatanna, captain marvel, that pet tiger they have (for some reason, the leaguers are terrified), the taxi driver and the HOM have.
they now think john’s got a poly relationship with john, cap, zatanna and (possibly) the weird taxi driver, adopted a tiger and an accident of one of bruce wayne’s affairs and bought a funky house.
this is everything i got ig
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BONUS (sorry for the low quality):
(i am very funny)
