#deep fears

[fallencalliope]

Tumultuous over zealous feelings,

Provoking inner fears within my chest,

Carrying the weight of all foreign thoughts,

That drag through my mind,

Wasting all of my love that was left behind,

Feeling uncertain about what life has in store for me,

Pushing myself to maintain any kind hope that better things await...

©️fallencalliope

[heretherebedork]

Deep fear: TNP will be like KP which means I'll end up disliking the most popular BL airing and everyone will attack me for it because no one can handle even untagged criticism.

[fae-or-foe]

Growing up, I'd look in mirrors a lot. Maybe spend a good 2 or three minutes, just observing. My family called a narcissist for it, but I'm not admiring myself. I look at mirrors expecting a change in the reflection. A door open, or a stranger in the room. Maybe my eyes will change color or something will appear behind me. Maybe my reflection will make a face that I cannot pull. One can only know if one looks.

So that's why I would stare into them, or at myself. Mirrors are terrifying. I don't sleep with one in my room, you know. I don't want what's on the other side watching me sleep.

[heretherebedork]

Have you seen To My Star? S2 is coming out on the 5th and I'm excited for it. If you haven't watched, I hear there's gonna be some references between them and Blueming, if that peaks your interest!

I did see TMS and it was a very good little show and S2 appeals to me not at all.

I hate break ups.

I hate long separation.

The idea that he leaves him behind, moves out and starts his own life and that he has to be hunted down in order to get back together is like... nightmarish.

I don't know how I'm gonna handle this.

Honestly, this might one where I wait and see about the ending. But I don't know if I have the patience for that.

But ugh.

If there must be a second season, I far prefer 'outside issues' to 'internal issues' and this is the exact opposite of what I wanted when people said this was happening.

I mean, honestly, TMS was a show that I do not understand the idea of a second season at all but if there had to be one to start with 'they break up and are completely apart and oh yeah he has a kid calling him dad now' is just... no, please don't. My heart. Why?

They had worked so hard to get together. They found each other! They loved each other! They put in so much work and love and tenderness and for the show to go 'second season is all that work failed' just breaks my heart.

I watch BL as an escape into a world where a happy ending is happily ever after and love wins and the boys live happily into the sunset.

So, yes. I know about TMS and the second season but I'm not talking about it much because I just don't know what I'm gonna do.

[madnessmadness]

[idiot-hours]

i am dreaming and chunks of my life are imaginary. my friends and partner are imaginary. one day i will wake up and learn they do not exist probably

[umursamaztakik]

[loveanddamage]