The absolute unhinged chaos of going grocery shopping with my mom and aunt the day before Thanksgiving
To be clear, the chaos was not that the stores were crowded. No. The chaos was entirely unleashed by two extremely extraverted women in their mid-seventies who have not seen each other in 10 months being the most intense dump truck of chaotic opinions/demands/instructions/random question-and-answer conversation I have ever experienced in my entire life.
In Whole Foods alone they covered:
-How to find the best Costco in the area (An "I shop based on parking lots" comment from my mom got an emphatic "Amen! I know that's right!" from my aunt)
-The benefit of wearing compression socks during long car trips
-Which mirrors in their respective houses are the best for plucking chin hairs
-What type of green beans to buy, fresh or canned
-How three years ago my aunt tripped on a sidewalk and chipped a tooth (I've heard this story at least 5 times, yet my mother insists on telling my aunt to tell me "about that time when..." whenever there is half a second of silence)
-Decided on canned green beans--debated how much to buy and decided to go with two cans
-That time eight years ago when some lady clipped the side mirror on my mom's car in a Target parking lot
-How my cousin does NOT like Hawaiian rolls but he DOES like pepper jack cheese
-How we definitely need three cans of green beans and not two
-Whose names they think are in the Epstein files
-Revisiting the fresh versus canned green beans debate again
-How to make overnight oats
-"What on earth is 'catfishing'??"
-At the cash register I am instructed to put BACK the third can of green beans, because two should be plenty, but oh wait they have really fresh collard greens here so maybe we should...
At this point I nearly blacked out.
Don't get me wrong. They are sweet. And they are having the time of their lives.
I am just so. flipping. TIRED.











