#feeling unreal

[mizuruifanatic]

somebody said braun broke the fourth wall, hence why the manhwa has multiple additional braunsol fanservice.

no way else to explain this, im afraid.

p.s: go read the manhwa on kakaopage! i can help you earn some in-app cash to read the raws and directly support the artist & author!

the adaptation is faithful to the og work and everything goes beyond my expectation. really, pls give the manhwa lots of love

[joshuacain]

hannibal returns to netflix on my 21st birthday. Never Kill Yourself.

[ekochameleons]

"how do you even remember all of this?"

1: Notes. Apps like SimplyPlural. Random places to type shit.

2: We don't. We can feel far more than we can remember. Some only have a name, some take forever to pick pronouns and a color, some change from the time they claim their names.

Some we will have a clear image of and feel so comforted by and then they're gone, possibly for as far as we know. Whether it's dormant or where us fronters can't access, we don't know. We can feel more in the abyss and in the council/unknown space. The main area of headspace is large and filled with endless abstract hallways.

The fact that they think we all just memorize this shit with our system is baffling. We have had multiple alters completely forgotten by us fronters. The rest of the system may know them and remember them, but we cannot recall. There is a lot of our system not mapped or understood. What we show is very very very small. What we experience is very very very small. We are simply the alters here to keep the body functioning and to bring comfort to our host as they are most vital to our survival since they are front stuck and always co-con or co-front for the short times they aren't in control.

The fact people who have no idea about this disorder can try to dictate what's possible or not is just annoying. It was something we barely understood at all until we started to uncover the layers and saw what little truth we know of our system.

What we manage to actually log or remember isn't a lot. We barely remember the pronouns and names of many of the common/frequent fronters or the ones that stay in frontspace with our host. We barely notice when many come or go. Some we won't really feel or hear from for a while. Not necessarily dormant, but just...less obvious.

Sometimes our own friend watching us can notice shit better than us. And we live this fucking experience. We barely feel real a majority of the time. Especially with the constant every day stress. Our mind is fully fucking fragmented, tiny shards struggling to form any shape at all. We barely remember anything, we barely feel real, we barely feel alive. Terrible fucking time.

Ekko

[feltreckless]

I really hate how monotone my voice is, it’s probably one of my biggest insecurities to date.

A lot of people say that they have no idea what I’m feeling or how I’m reacting to their comments, because it all sounds the same, then they say they’re always worried that they upset me or that I’m angry.

I’m never angry at anyone, I just don’t emote very much which can come off as me being passive, moody, bored, tired, etc.

But I can’t stand putting on a tone, it’s so mentally draining to constantly emphasise my tone to fit what I mean, but it’s not nice to have people think I hate them either.

I’ve never met anyone else who’s struggled with this, this isn’t just resting bitch face this is resting bitch voice. It makes me nervous to talk to people, because I know they’re going to take something I say the wrong way because of my natural relaxed tone.

But then I don’t say much and only speak when necessary, which just makes people think I’m upset at them and/or in general.

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

Feeling like the world around you is real and exists but you don't. Like you're the thing that's out of place, vibrating on a different frequency from the rest. A glitch in the program that shouldn't be there.

Is there a name for this?

Everyone always talks about reality feeling unreal, the world around you. I'm experiencing the opposite.

It's a lonely feeling.

[uncannyarchive]

Ludovic Dugas, a psychologist/philosopher who often wrote on the topics of memory and deja vu, is most often credited with first using the term [depersonalisation] in its present context, in the late 1890s. However, Dugas had first seen the word in a popular literary work of the era, The Journal Intime, by Henry Frederic Amiel (1821-1881). This journal, the voluminous diary of an introspective and obscure professor, was published posthumously. One particular entry helped to define the nature of depersonalisation for all time: "And now I find myself regarding existence as though beyond the tomb, from another world. All is strange to me; I am, as it were, outside my own body and individuality; I am depersonalised, detached, cut adrift. Is this madness?"

Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization Disorder and the Loss of the Self, by Daphne Simeon, MD and Jeffrey Abugel 

[mosaicsmisstheirbluesttiles]

About Mild, Moderate, & Severe Dissociation: Feeling Unreal, Detachment, Identity Confusion

[mosaicsmisstheirbluesttiles]

About Dissociative Disorders: Depersonalization, Derealization, OSDD, Dissociative Identity Disorder