Guo Chengyu really has me thinking about sacrifice, devotion, and gender. At multiple points during this show, I paused an episode and went something along the lines of, "damn. What a man." Which isn't to say that he's a good guy, just that he's something special when it comes to how deeply and fully he loves. And more recently, in the scenes where Chengyu is shown talking with Chi Cheng's parents and even helping his mom down the stairs, I was struck by how even now maybe some of his feminine upbringing was shining through. These little actions seemed like those of a daughter in law or a female close family friend, but feel a little surprising coming from a man, even one who is a family friend and pseudo-son. Then something else hit me in the face: If Guo Chengyu weren't a man, would I find his actions in this series as remarkable?
The truth is, women so often give up everything for those they love. This isn't even to frame that as a necessarily noble feat--in Chengyu's case, it's instrumental to his own life to sacrifice and live with others always in mind, because that gives him purpose and meaning. But when a woman gets pregnant and gives up her job, time, and often identity outside of motherhood to have kids? That's not seen as remarkable, that's expected. Ordinary, even. It is not appreciated as the serious sacrifice that it often is. (And this isn't to imply that women don't get something out of motherhood; for some it's the most fulfilling process of their life.) The point is, the sacrifice of it all often goes basically unacknowledged, and I just think that, had Chengyu been a similar character but a woman instead, his actions wouldn't have moved me so deeply.
I still think he is remarkable and by creating a character who is a man and engages in this sort of devotion and self sacrifice in a NON self destructive way, rather in a way that gives him meaning, I was really moved. Guo Chengyu is a moving character! I just realized this little thing while watching, and alongside how many "what a man"s and "Chengyu the man that you are"s I see in tags or comments, I don't think it's a coincidence how many watchers (including myself) subconsciously note the fact that he's a man when praising him. He is a remarkable person, yes, but even MORE a remarkable man.
Just some thoughts!
(Disclaimer: I'm not an expert in Chinese culture so maybe it's more normal for boys to help out family friend's parents the way that Chengyu does, but it's just what got me thinking about all this.)
