#hellcheer headcanons

[astorytotellyourfriends]

hellcheer taking their kids to disney world and wearing matching shirts only chrissy’s says “where i go, trouble follows” and eddie plus their three kids’s shirts all say “trouble”

[justhere4thevibez]

headcanons!!!! ok uhm so whenever chrissy tries to get eddie to settle down so she can do some skincare or haircare on him he just gets turned on and doesn't let her finish and that's why his hair is always a mess

you are SO correct I love you for this. The state of Eddie's hair causes Chrissy real distress, and every time Eddie swears he's gonna be good and sit still for her, but once her hands are on his face or in his hair? Whew. All bets are OFF. Most of the time, Eddie's hair stays just as untamed and Chrissy's ends up a little worse for wear, if you know what I mean 😏

Eventually, Chrissy does come up with a solution though... (some nsfw under the cut, damn you for giving me Ideas™️)

"Is this really necessary?" Eddie grumbles as Chrissy snugs the knot at his wrist.

"Yep," she says primly. "I can't trust those hands, Eddie Munson, so they're out of commission until further notice."

Eddie wriggles a little as Chrissy steps back to admire her work. She's tied his wrists to either side of a kitchen chair with his spare bandannas, and all of her hair care supplies are lined up neatly on the counter. Eddie's hair is in dire need of detangling, and she can't stand to look at it any more. As she starts off, Eddie keeps up a steady stream of promises that he won't distract her this time, he swears, she can totally untie him and he won't flip her over the counter and dive under her skirt, it'll be different than last time for sure...

Eddie moans as Chrissy works some product into his hair. She can already see the stiffening in his pants, and she bites her lip to keep from laughing.

"You were saying?" she asks sweetly as she tugs lightly on a lock of hair.

"I, f-fuck, sweetheart," he stutters. "I can totally--uh, keep myself under c-control, I, um--"

She gets maybe a little too much enjoyment out of gently pulling his hair and massaging his scalp (she's gotta work the leave-in conditioner in thoroughly, it's necessary, promise). By the end of the treatment, Eddie's panting, fully hard and squirming restlessly against his bonds.

Chrissy twists the kitchen timer shaped like a chicken to fifteen minutes and sets it on the counter.

"Now we wait," she singsongs, smirking at Eddie's pained groan.

"Do I have to wait like this?" he asks, flapping his bound hands meaningfully.

"Yup," she says, popping her lips on the word. "So sorry, my love, but you are not allowed to mess up all my hard work."

"I'm gonna die like this," he moans.

Chrissy finally takes pity on him. She steps between his legs and starts working at his belt, making him gulp.

"What, uh, what're you doing, sweetheart?" he asks cautiously.

"Gonna keep you company," she says sweetly, shuffling down his jeans and underwear just enough to get at what she wants.

Slowly, agonizingly, she straddles him on the chair and sinks down with a sigh. Eddie shudders and bucks his hips helplessly, which is not part of the plan.

"Uh-uh-uh," Chrissy chides, squeezing her thighs to still him. "Fifteen minutes, Eddie. Stay still."

He drops his head into the crook of her neck with a moan.

"You're a cruel one, sweetheart," he whispers as he bites her neck gently.

She strokes his hair, twisting it in her fist to work another groan out of him. She kind of loves him like this, all helpless and worked up. Maybe they need to do this more often. His hair does desperately need some tender attention.

"Just being thorough, baby," she says. "Gotta take care of you, you know?"

Eddie grumbles something about I'll take care of you, and she laughs and squeezes her thighs against him to shut him up. The timer clicks forward. Fourteen minutes to go, and she can't wait to see what a mess Eddie is by the end of it.

[rose-n-gunses]

Okay the post about that one guy who got high and thought it was night because it was dark so he sneaks into the kitchen and really slowly makes a bowl of cereal but he actually had on sunglasses and his parents were sitting at the table eating dinner.

Eddie who comes out of his room, aviators on and reeking of weed, and tiptoes down the hall, slowly opens the cabinet, makes a sandwich and a bowl of honeycombs, and creeps back to his room. Chrissy and Wayne are sitting at the table watching the whole thing go down. They both stopped eating to watch when he came into the room, both confused and then trying not to laugh. They say nothing until his door closes again and Wayne says "Butter?" And Chrissy giggles and says "yes please"

[tofania]

Been thinking about Hellcheer kids recently and what I can say for sure is they’ll have one single child and that child will be queer, because they’d be the best parents a queer kid could ever have, and I have the following two options

lesbian butch daughter called Charlotte but goes by Charlie, works as a Hollywood stuntwoman and is regularly papped with actresses, sparking dating rumours (inspo: Jenny Shimizu). As a teen she kinda had a rocky relationship with Chrissy and bonded more with Eddie (which of course he’s a girl dad!!! but also her best friend, her fashion inspo, she steals all of his jackets!!! and her ultimate role model), mainly because she was terrified of disappointing Chrissy while also dealing with complicated feelings about stereotypical femininity (and I mean… it’s hard when your mom is basically Barbie!!!). But Chrissy was the best mom ever, gave her all the space she needed, and was always there (she cried a couple of times, scared as fuck of not being a good mom, and Eddie had to remind her every time that she was actually doing great and teenagers are just like that™️). Anyway now they have a beautiful mom–daughter bond and every time Charlie brings a girlfriend home they’re all like “wow you didn’t tell us your mom was SO HOT?!!”. Of course she loves grandpa Wayne an infinite amount and he was actually the first one she came out to.

trans daughter called Charlie who now goes by Charlotte. Extremely sensitive and creative, works as an experimental music producer and basically helps reshape the pop scene (inspo: SOPHIE). Since she was a child she’s always had such a deep bond with Chrissy, she was the first person she came out to and now that she’s an adult they’re THE mother/daughter duo. They love spending time together when Charlotte is back in LA (she usually lives between NY and London), they have their little rituals and traditions. Charlotte and Eddie obviously bonded over their love for music, especially when Charlotte was an angsty teen struggling with her identity who would mostly talk only to Chrissy. She’d share playlists and mixtapes with her dad and that was her way of communicating with him when she felt too overwhelmed or didn’t know how to put her feelings into words. Today Eddie is incredibly proud of her work even if it’s so distant from his own genre, they’re always talking about vision and creative processes and exchanging ideas (they both have Chrissy as their muse!!!). Charlotte loves Wayne so much but she was absolutely terrified to come out to him, to the point she once had this awful idea of starting her transition only after Wayne’s death to spare him the heartbreak she was convinced she’d cause. Only with her parents’ support she was able to finally have a heartfelt conversation with him and it was very emotional and very sweet. And since then Wayne has become a number one ally and goes to work wearing a PROTECT THE DOLL t-shirt.

In both scenarios, when Chrissy gets pregnant she tries to give Laura a second chance and give her the opportunity to be a decent grandma (Eddie is VERY skeptical), only for Laura to end up being a horrible bigoted person toward her niece, and that gives Chrissy the strength to cut any contact with her for real, because she has endured Laura’s cruelty all her life and deep, deep down always thought she had done something to deserve it. But the moment she sees even a flicker of that cruelty directed at her child, she realizes she will not tolerate any of it.

and I say one child only because Chrissy struggles a lot during the pregnancy and she doesn’t want to go through it again, even if she feels guilty for “depriving” Eddie of a big family. And Eddie tells her over and over that their perfect little family is truly what he’s always dreamt of, that he couldn’t be happier, and that he loves them so, so much. And in the end they end up being the parent figures/the safe adults for all of their daughter’s queer friends ♡

[mangoslam]

Gorgeous Hellcheer fanart by artist Beau May/Tetsarou. Check them out here. You can also buy their print here. (I can't find the artist on Tumblr - give me a shout if so and I'll tag)

[cunninghamchrissie]

you know how a lot of ppl can’t wait to get home and take off their bra?

eddie is like that, except he’s not the one that wears it

his favorite time of day is when chrissy comes home from work and gets into her lounge clothes, letting out a little sigh when she finally gets her bra off, and that’s eddie’s cue to get up from wherever he is to go to her and massage her breasts

it’s not even sexual, even though sometimes it does lead to that and he’s never not gonna be turned on by her breasts, but it’s just genuinely comforting to him

they’re just the perfect size and they fit so well in his hands and chrissy lets out these little breaths and whines because it feels so good and her bra was so uncomfortable, how could eddie not be obsessed w this routine of theirs?

[a-strange-inkling]

While we all want Eddie and Chrissy kicking ass together in the Upside Down, what I want even more is for them to be absolute scaredy cats together in the Upside Down.

Both of them screaming, crying and clinging to one another whenever they see or hear something scary, even if it’s nothing.

Steve and Nancy telling them they have to keep moving, but they’re both snuggled up hiding in a closet or under a bed and Eddie pops his head out like: “yeah, no, we’ve decided that we’re hiding here forever thanks, bye.”

[jasontoddsmommyissues]

This picture of Ozzy and his kids is giving serious Dad!Eddie vibes