You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?
The emotional amnesia.
Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.
You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.
It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?
And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.
How to make alters comfortable enough to reveal themsleves
I know systems find it hard to have communication with uncontacted or newly revealed alters, so here are some ways to find out about them
(this also helps to tell if an alter is real or if your brain is just playing around)
01﹒don't force an identity on them.
some alters might find it harder to express themselves if other alters fill out their personal information for them, they may prefer to do it themselves
(ex. don't write or say their full name - just use a letter, don't write their pronouns, don't note down their orientation or gender)
02﹒don't neglect their emotions.
focus on what makes them an individual or what they're comfortable with rather than thier identity
(ex. noting their likes and dislikes)
03﹒give them templates or examples.
they may want to communicate with others but may be confused, not know where to start, or are too anxious to do it without any help
basic things such as introduction templates or giving them a place to write down their thoughts can help them learn who they are and how they fit into the system
04﹒keep them seperated if needed.
alters may blend together when fronting so barring suspected new alters from fronting with old ones can help distinguish them
this can also help systems with higher amnesia barriers to stop alters from accidentally hiding other alters
⠀Otherworldliy⠀⋯⠀a term for systems that have maladaptive daydreaming that affects the system on a day-to-day basis, affecting the systems innerworld or alters. making the system, in a way, otherworldly.
The role name is a coined term from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a term created of two Ancient Greek words to describe a subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
For us, this term was coined to be a form of holder role, could be an emotion holder, trauma holder, or a mix of both. The headmate embodies the feeling of insecurity and not fitting in, either helping "isolate" the emotion away from the fronters or, in time of anxiety/stress, might amplify it.
The role flag name is a coined termed from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows[link], a term created of two Ancient Greek words to describe a subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
For us, this term was coined to be a form of holder role, could be an emotion holder, trauma holder, or a mix of both. The headmate embodies the feeling of insecurity and not fitting in, either helping "isolate" the emotion away from the fronters or, in time of anxiety/stress, might amplify it.
also i would like for people to stop making "alternate/multiple personalities" jokes, unless you have osddid youre just further spreading stigma and misinformation as that joke came from the outdated and misinformed terminology use of multiple personality disorder.
mpd is increadibly outdated and its coiner is ableist, this is a topic multiple people have gone over in the past so i wont say anything more.
the joke itself implies people who grew up with an non-fully developed sense of self are crazy because 'they have more than one personality' when people with osddid, the people the joke is ctually about, actually have a split sense of self, a dissociated identity, dissociation caused by traumatic and stressful events specifically during childhood development.
its not multiple personalities, while yes those with alters or parts who front andswitch out do often have seperate and differing personalities, theyre not simply just personalities.
the joke spreads stigma and isnt funny. its not a joke, stop using it.
Every little thing we find out about our system makes us feel more and more fake.
Not that we genuinely view any traits we have as “signs of faking,” but definitely other people do.
The amount of alters we have, the fact that we even have sidesystems at all, how many subsystems we have, how many introjects we have, how many of us are the same person copied over and over.
And none of those traits mean someone is faking! In fact it more likely points to extreme trauma, even (or especially) if we don’t remember most of it. But according to some, it does mean we’re faking it.
Being plural is the tits. Having a dissociative disorder? Not so much. And yet everything about us that’s disordered is “actually” signs of faking according to certain people.