#ljy

[saaraofthesand]

lan wangji is totally helicopter parenting the lan juniors at the beginning of mdzs just like jiang cheng is doing with jin ling but he’s doing it secretly. the juniors don’t know he’s near enough to them to help. jingyi tells sizhui that none of their seniors are nearby, but lan wangji is there in minutes. he didn’t tell them he’d be around. ahhhh dadji i love you so much.

[jomeimei421]

SO… ORVLA TRAILER CAME OUT THEY GAVE YJH A GUN

[rosekvartz]

junior quartet text post < >

[thiscatdraws]

Part 2 of my MDZS Zodiac! All canonical birthdays for these lads ;)

[aigoosm]

personal opinion but i really. really. REALLY love this specific jingyi official art. i like how he has more volume on his hair and how he has this vibe i can see on teenxian ... he's such a pretty boy ☹️ jp live action jingyi official art i adore you sm.

[stabbydragon]

mdzs as things my friends have said and done part 3

part 1 part 2 part 4

Lan Qiren: That photo of Wei Ying looks like a rabid dog. It looks like he’s about to bite you

Lan Xichen: I don’t think Wangji would be opposed to that

Lan Wangji: I would not be

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Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng, this is what happens when you leave early, me and Lan Zhan make pacts to get married at 50 in a Victoria’s Secret

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wwx, reading from his phone: Tauruses like Nie-xiong and Scorpios like Jiang Cheng are very compatible in bed! Scorpios love to play games and Taurus’ aren’t opposed to being tied up!

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Jin Guangyao: The way I speak is like a passive aggressive business email

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jc to wwx: I’ve realised that being emo in the bathroom is boring and you are more fun than the bathroom

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Nie Huaisang: If I were to fuck an ostrich, that would mean— *looks at jc* —wait, no, that doesn’t make sense

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Lan Jingyi to Jin Ling: You should indoctrinate your jiujiu into gay culture

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Wen Ning to lqr: Hi! Just wanted to let you know, due to an unfortunate mix up at the hospital your great-nephew Lan Sizhui is actually the antichrist. Sorry to bother you, have a good day *hangs up*

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jc to wangxian: STOP BEING ALLOSEXUAL THE WORLD IS ENDING

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Wen Chao: Why isn't women's rights in the fiction section?

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nhs to lxc: Er-ge, is there any pornography in the Cloud Recesses library pavilion?

lxc, flustered: There may be a few… um…"adult" books but I always promptly dispose of them

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lxc enthusiastically to wwx: *points to lwj* Is that your type of man? Are you a DILF liker?

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wwx: *finds a wheeled chair and starts rolling around on it*

jc: Should we start placing bets as to how long it'll take before he hurts himself?

nhs: I think it'll be somewhere around 30 minutes from now

*precisely 30 mins later on the dot*

wwx: I hurt myself

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ljy: How long is your colon?

jl: Long enough

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ljy: Earth has no rizz. It's pulling no bitches. Look at Saturn and Jupiter, they're getting plenty of bitches

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ljy about lsz's essay: 4 pages sizhui? really??

lsz: Yas gurl 💅✨

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nhs: Would you rather be a fucking bitch or a bitch-fucker

jc: I'd rather be a fucking bitch 

wwx: I'd rather be a bitch fucker

nhs: I'd rather be both. I could be fucked by bitches and fuck bitches

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jc in the middle of a conversation: Anyway, back to how my house burnt down and how my father doesn't love me

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ljy: *sings celtic lullabies next to a river*

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wwx: I love my shidi but sometimes he's a bit of a poo

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Wen Qing: With enough sheer force, a penis can easily be ripped off

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oyzz: Hammering is slang for sex

jl: Hammered is also slang for being drunk

wn: I thought hammer meant to get off work?

lsz: I was thinking of hammerhead sharks

ljy: I was thinking of a fucking hammer

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nhs: the only D I get is in my grades

jc: the only D I want is death

lwj: the only D I want is Dwei Ying

wwx: The only D i’ll get is a DUI

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wwx: Lets decompose dead bodies for fertilizer!

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nhs: lan-xiansheng, can we do something illegal in class today?

jc: Like hunting Wei Wuxian for sport!

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wwx to lwj: Everyone looks good in white button-up shirts, you’re not unique

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jgy: My mother is a grown adult. She can decide who she fucks, although that would be considered adultery. So long as you don’t get to tell me what to do, feel free to fuck either of my parents

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Jin Guangshan: Great! Now that Qin Su is gone, I can tell you about the time I slept with her mother!

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wwx: If you ever think you want to die, ask yourself; Do I want to die, or do I want to be a crow?

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lsz: Oh dear me! The fuck ass tunnel is blocked by a fuck ass puddle!

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Mo Xuanyu: I have the most siblings! I win!

Xue Yang: So your parents fuck the most. That's not an accomplishment

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Nie Mingjue about jgy: I hate his point shoes, I hate how he drives, I hate how he cries—

lxc: How does he drive?

nmj: Like a fucking bitch!

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jgy: I feel like cooties were invented as a way for parents to explain STDs to their kids. Sorry, your mom is in pain because she got cooties from another guy she was talking to

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Lan Jingyi: damn, Wei-qianbei was 18 when he invented demonic cultivation?! That's wild, he should've been at the club.

[anshares]

Just add the right amount of spice