#lqr

[qourmet]

qiren-xiong, i'm pretty sure there's clan precepts about vanity...

"what's he holding" disciplinary ruler. you're gonna look @ me & tell me this boy was Not part of the disciplinary committee in his sect. like his beloved nephew eventually would be.

these things are exponentially smaller than this irl tho. godspeed @ everyone else

[need-him-pregnant-poll]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT *SEASON TWO* ROUND 3 POLL 32

TUMBLR! Who's getting pregnant?

Gandalf (The Lord of the Rings)

Lan Qiren (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation)

Voting ended onMay 17

PROPAGANDA:

[Gandalf]

"Gotta put those big naturals to use somehow."

[Lan Qiren]

"PEEPAAAWWWW!!! I NEED HIM BREDDDD!!! He's already basically a single mom,,, he stepped up and raised his two nephews by himself WHILE running a sect cuz his older brother fucked off to seclusion and dumped all the responsibilities on him,,, he's very strict and stern and he believes staunchly in the righteous path,,, but he genuinely loves his boys so much,,, he's also a teacher who has aided in the growth of countless young cultivators. The trope of a stern man who softens around little ones always gets me like an arrow through the chest. I need more fanfiction of omega-coded Lan Qiren, goddamn... (yes this is a cry for help, MDZS fandom please lend me your aid in this endeavor).

[saaraofthesand]

Okay, I genuinely don’t understand why people Snapeify Lan Qiren. “He hates Wei Wuxian because he hated Cangse-sanren.” Do we have a single shred of canonical evidence for that? Yes, they did know each other at least a little bit (Cangse-sanren shaved his goatee because he almost killed WCZ and JFM), but that wasn’t even revealed in the novel. It’s just something MXTX said later. Lan Qiren probably disliked Wei Wuxian during the Cloud Recesses study arc because he tormented his nephew, broke a million rules, had zero sense of decorum, and then punched another student. And then he disliked him later because he killed so many people! That’s what we actually know from the novel. There is no reason to think he dislikes WWX because he disliked CSSR.

[stabbydragon]

mdzs as things my friends have said and done part 2

part 1 part 3 part 4

*talking about crushes*

Wen Ning: Guys, do you think garlic bread likes me back? 🥺

-

Lan Wangji: What makes you think I'm gay?

Lan Jingyi: Your hair

lwj: Straight people can have long hair

Lan Qiren: Your clothes

lwj: Straight people can wear fancy clothes

Lan Xichen: *grabs lwj's rainbow bracelet* this is a little odd

-

Nie Huaisang: My da-ge tracks me he thinks I'm gonna do drugs. THE ONLY DRUG I'VE EVER DONE IS COFFEE

-

lxc flirting with jin guangyao: If I were an enzyme, I would want to be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes

-

Wei Wuxian: You have to be a new level of white to think oregano is spicy

-

Intense debate as to whether Jiang Cheng voicing an opinion contrary to Wei Wuxian's is equal to saying that wwx is wrong (wwx said cherry gum tastes like the dentist and jc said “no it doesn't”)

-

wwx: Nie-xiong stole my identity so I stole Wen Ning's

wn: Well then im taking jiejie's

Wen Qing: Jokes on you I don't have a sense of identity 

-

lqr: What's the difference between Canadian and American high school students?

wwx: Gun control laws

-

nhs: “I don't know what's going on” is my middle name

nmj: Isn't it Maria???

-

Jin Zixuan: The next time I see Jiang Yanli, I'm going to say hi to her

Jiang Yanli: *passes by*

jzx: *Takes bite of apple to avoid speaking*

-

nhs: *grabs jc's hand* *leans in close* *sensually whispers* I fucking hate maraschino cherries

jc: This is why everyone thinks we're dating

-

nhs on a test: Mitochondria is like the school caf because… uhhhh… yum yum

-

lxc: you're gay, right? … oh no that's huaisang

wwx: I'm not gay I'm bi

Everyone in the cloud recesses: *aggressively turns their heads to look at him in shock*

-

ljy: Silly billy put your willy in my jelly

Jin ling: Do you even know what willy means?

ljy: no

lsz: *facepalms from second hand embarrassment*

-

wwx during a lesson: LAN-XIAAAANSHEEEEENG, CAN I BE A PROSTITUTE???

*2 minutes later*

wwx: LAN-XIAAAANSHEEEEENG, CAN I CANNIBALIZE MY CHILD??

-

nhs: Fellas, is it gay to be straight?

jc: It is if you're Wei Wuxian

-

wwx to wn: If you cosplayed as hanguang-jun I would lowkey make out with you no homo

-

wn in the most solemn, grieving tone: i don’t think lululemon is the quality it used to be

-

lwj: Sooooo you like anything other than drugs???

wwx: hmmmmmmm…. Alcohol?

lwj: ummm.. I think that’s the same thing

-

jc: are you going to get off Lan Wangji’s ass?

wwx: I'll get on Lan Zhan’s ass

nhs: He’ll get off on Lan Wangji’s ass

-

wwx, singing: the sun will come out tomorrow

ljy: Wait the sun is gay???

-

jc: So what we’ve learned today is that Wei Wuxian is into BDSM, Nie Huaisang is an aspiring rule 34 artist, and Zewu-jun is gay for me

[rovadeve]

Well if I can put in my two cents I think the funniest ship for Lan Qiren would be Wei Wuxian. Éveryone gets mental damage, the happy couple most of all. It plays into those (CQL) bits where it is implied Cangse Sanren liked to prank Lan Qiren much in the same way Wei Wuxian is bullying Lan Wangji. Lan Qiren gets to be angry that he’s falling for Cangse Sanren’s stupid, badly behaved, hot son and Wei Wuxian gets to be angry that he’s into being an arm candy trophy wife sugar baby ánd into being punished however Lan Qiren sees fit when he’s misbehaving (And Of Course He’s Into It). This will Destroy Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen will be collateral damage and destroyed also. Since this makes them both unfit to rule, Lan Qiren is once again regent Sect leader Lan and Wei Wuxian is basically Lan-furen now. Jin Ling will see another one of his respected elders Fall. I think Jiang Cheng couldn’t be bothered to give a flying fuck. I think to the Lan juniors it wouldn’t be weirder than seeing than Wangxian tbh

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Shoutout to my man Lan Qiren who sees "Mo Xuanyu" for the first time and, after recovering from his terrible music induced trauma, probably had a thought pattern along the lines of

Hm. This red-and-black, audacious and shameless demonic cultivating, Wangji-obsessed twink is very Wei Wuxian coded... what if he is Wei Wuxian?

But!

Wei Wuxian is dead, has been dead for 13 years...

Dead people generally stay dead...

So it is likely that this Mo Xuanyu is just Some Guy™️ and Wangji just has A Type™️

Perhaps he is moving on or something

Ah, yes, of course, silly me! How could that be Wei Wuxian?

And then like. 2 volumes later.

Turns out it was indeed Wei Wuxian all along!

[naehja]

Lan Qiren: I raised pure and honorable nephews. They'll never be shameless!

*Meanwhile*

Lan Xichen, looking at Nie Mingjue: (I want him to exhaust me everynight, as much he desires. I wish to waking up next to him everyday. I would love it so much!)

Later

Lan Wangji, looking at Wei Ying: (I want him everyday!)

[panther-os]

I have discovered a thing! How guqin are made (9m41s)