I wish PCOS wasn't just seen as a fertility issue. Like I don't want kids I'd just like to not feel like shit every waking moment of my life.

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I wish PCOS wasn't just seen as a fertility issue. Like I don't want kids I'd just like to not feel like shit every waking moment of my life.
Anxiety....
When I was younger and I heard people say they have anxiety, I often think oh, they are just being dramatic, or come on, it can't be that serious.
It wasn't until I experienced anxiety myself that I found out how scary and confronting it can be. I don't really know how my anxiety started but my earliest memory of it was when I was diagnosed with PCOS. I remembered my heart sank and I felt miserable being told by the doctor that I might not be able to have kids like a normal woman could and that is something that I'll just have to accept. On top of that, the doctor also mentioned that this is a condition for LIFE and there is no real cure for it except just managing the symptoms which are basically taking medications for a really really long time! I went home after that, cried for many hours, and researched about PCOS for many months following my diagnosis. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat well because I was so picky about what was going into my body knowing that food could upset my hormones. I would feel so tensed and worried when I see a new pimple popped up on my face or when another strand of hair fall on my shoulder, my clothes, the table, and anywhere where I could visibly see it. I would look down on the floor around my house and collect all the hairs which have fallen and count how many hairs I have lost on the day. Sounds crazy right?
I would make excuses not to go out with friends because I was ashamed of my skin and myself. I felt sad and lonely for a long time. I didn't think anyone would understand what was happening to me and how I was feeling? Everyone around me seemed so happy with their lives. They'll probably just tell me 'don't worry about it. you'll be ok' or 'it's not the end of the world. it's not cancer or anything too serious.' I know because I've been there. Not only do you have to deal with the physical changes of your body but also the physiological aspects of it.
My anxiety became worse when I turned 30 and I had to get treatment for anxiety and insomnia. I have learned a lot of good tips and ways to deal with anxiety during my sessions with my counselor. Breathing is a very good tip for anyone out there facing anxiety. Take 3 deep breaths to reset and I used this every time I start to panic and worry.
3 years on and I still have good and bad days but I try to think of the positive in life, be the best person I can be, and give it my best in everything I do. You only live once so don't let PCOS beat you! Can anyone else relate to this?
The anxiety of "will I ever be able to have a baby?" is one of the hardest parts of living with PCOS. 💔
It feels like a heavy cloud that follows you around, doesn't it?
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[Disclaimer - usually studyblr but this is personal]
14/06/2021
------------------------------ personal stuff -------------------------------
content topic - pcos & my "symptoms", hospital appointments
okay so about a month ago i had a hospital appointment for an ultrasound as i told my doctor i wanted to be tested for pcos given that my mum has it and i have similar issues to her, them being thick body and facial hair and it being almost 2 years since i had a period.
anywaysssss.... so i went to the appointment the 26th of last month i believe and i have to wait till the 30th of this month to have my phone call to find out what was on the ultrasound. However, many people with hormone related issues will know this already but. Some people with pcos can have pcos without cysts on the ovaries and some people can have said cysts but not have pcos therefore if i dont have it, i'm going to request a blood test to look at my hormone levels as i'm assuming my level of testosterone is the reason for my facial hair being so bad. i genuinely hate it, i have a boyfriend and i've told him about it but i wont let him touch my face if i havent shaved because i think it feels awful and it looks just as bad, he does his best to tell me i look beautiful no matter what and he's so so supportive but i'm hoping there could be some form of solution for the hair growth --- side note---- [If anyone with facial hair due to pcos or any hormonal issues and you have spoken to the doctor about it pls could you let me know what advice they gave :) as my skin on the underneath of my chin really hates me because of the constant need to shave - i've used hair removal cream (both for the face and for sensitive skin) and shaving but neither make the hair go away for long periods, it grows back in a few hours]
Does anyone use any other apps besides Premom to scan ovulation tests and track?
I’ve been using Premom but lately it’s been freezing so bad that it takes over 10 minutes to track one test and none of the tabs will open.
Got my bloodwork back from the doctors. It was taken last Tuesday and I hadn’t ovulated in a while (i have since ovulated and baby danced so fingers are crossed).
Bloodwork showed elevated total and free testosterone. I’m not entirely sure what that means. I’ve researched and it says it could be caused by PCOS but I have no other symptoms than the lack of period.
I instantly feel slightly down when getting results with items out of range and ask myself questions like Why does this have to be so hard? Why can’t my body just work right?
Maybe I am just overthinking it and we will have gotten lucky this month.😩