Oct 7, 2024
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3 years sober today ^_^
The HIPPIE HEAVEN Shop: https://www.teepublic.com/user/hippie-heaven
Check out the new "SOBER NOT DEAD" merch at Hippie Heaven Shop on TeePublic!
My miracle year photo shoot
2.28.21
Guyssss I haven’t smoked weed since Jan 18th and I’m not smoking again until 4/20/20. By choice. I was sick last week and my body actually feels really good right now and my mental clarity is 100%. This is the first weed break I’ve taken since I became a real stoner when I was 21 and I’m 27 now🙀
Best believe I’m still taking my CBD every damn day though!
Feeling Down
One of my biggest reasons for giving up alcohol was fitness. I did not want anymore hangovers at the gym or runs shortened by 'upset stomachs.' Since giving up drinking I'd be going to the gym most nights. It was becoming a second home, a place I could hang out that kept me focused and away from booze.
But two weeks ago I started to get wrist pain that randomly becomes so severe I can't hold a phone, a coffee, or even a fork, with my right hand. So I've been resting it. No gym, just running.
Two weeks of no gym does a fucking number to your self-esteem and body image. I'm convinced I've gained weight, and convinced that that's the worst thing ever. I worry that I'm losing muscle and strength and that without those things I'm some how a shitty person.
I'm seeing every interaction with other people through this lens. I'm spending too much time on social media and comparing happy, or at least well curated, lives that I worry I'll never have. I'm looking for constant validation and unable to find it internally.
And when I feel like a lazy, out of shape, insecure asshole, all I want to do is cheer up with a drink. A rum and coke would relax me, clear my head of these negative thoughts, numb the pain of walking past a mirror.
Today is a hard day.
I read somewhere that rock bottom isn’t where you hit some sort of disastrous consequence, it’s just where you decide to stop digging.
I’m not expecting a cake, or a “proud of you,” or a plastic chip with the number 30 on it. I probably won’t even end up posting this anywhere people will actually read it. But I stopped digging 30 days ago today, and I needed to say that I don’t plan on picking that damn shovel back up again.
trust the universe
if you were looking for a sign - this is it