#speech problems

[puppersinbusiness26]

Does anyone else have selective mutism but in the way that sometimes you literally can't form proper words so you just make noises and hope someone understands what you're saying?

[yellow-lemon-lime]

An anecdoctal tale on how having to learn a new language in my 30s helped my overall speech.

Under cut because I still ramble way too much it seems

I have had speech problems for years. I suspect they have been there for longer than I remember, but they came especially prevalent to me in my teenage years because that was when people around me started saying "speak slower" or "HTL" which translated to English is an acronym for "loud, clear and slow" and I came to despise whenever people would say that, which they sometimes would before I had even started saying anything. It was as if they expected the worst. The thing though was that I couldn't hear my own speech as being particularly fast, so when I did try to slow down it would feel like I was "humping" along the words and it just felt unnatural for me to speak like that. I did seek help in 2022 (I think?) and met with a speech therapist who not only confirmed that I had both stuttering and cluttering, but she also did these excersises with me as well hear my backstory and look at the psychological aspect of my speech. Also an interesting thing that she did is, one time my brother called on the phone while I was at an appointment (I don't remember if he had called while I was in the waiting room, or if I called when I was already in the ST's office) but while I was having the 1-2 minute conversation with my brother, she had apparantly been listening to and analysing my speech, because she told me afterwards the pattern she had heard. I think it's a very common thing to do when you come across something that you are an expert in (in her case, speech) to analyse things (in regards to your patient, she obviously wouldn't go up to a random stranger on the street and give her thoughts to them about the way that they speak).

During these speech therapy appointments I realised that part of my speech problems stemmed from the fear of not being taken seriously, but it was like the snake that bites its own tale, because my speech made me sound anxious and uncertain, but it was my anxiety and uncertainty that caused me to have speech problems. I was a very very shy kid and it didn't wasn't much better in my teens either, and my speech often depicted that, but only to an extend, because if I was with people who didn't make me nervous (which were very few) I would still talk fast and cluttered, but there wasn't the usual "They probably think I'm an idiot because I can't speak normally"-idea in my head.

Coincidentally 2022 was also the year that a Finnish guy sent me a message, which changed my life. I moved to Finland, got married to that guy, and as a consequence of moving to Finland, I am now in the process of learning Finnish (I moved in January 2023 and started officially learning in February 2023, although I did do a little bit of intimidating green owl before I moved, but I haven't used that one since coming to Finland) My language learning was also severally halted for over a year by my former job because it was English-speaking and in my free time I would be so depleted of energy (long commute) that even when I went to the Finnish course I wouldn't able to comprehend what was being said even though it was like A1 Finnish that I normally have no trouble understanding. I am now without a job (the job market here is really really bad, everyone knows that, I have also reach the age where I am not willing to risk my health, my fertility or my relationship for a workplace that won't even remember me in 20 years, which makes it more important for me to actually learn Finnish so I have a better chance of finding a workplace where language isn't a problem (although to be fair even for Finns finding a job is hard, so who the hell knows what to do)

But although my learning was halted for a very long, I did notice another change recently, and I had at first attributed it to being in my 30s, way older and more different thinking than my teens and 20s (and also escaping a family with a mother who I later realized neglected me emotionally. I still talk to her sometimes, but there's nothing in me that screams I'm her daughter, and whenever I think I have a physical trait that looks like her, I have to remove it instantly) but the change I noticed was beyond my own shyness and lack of hugs in my childhood. Finnish is often considered one of the hardest languages to learn so when having to start learning it in my 30s I knew that it was going to be a struggle and an uphill battle, but that was also what ultimately helped me view the psychological aspect of my speech problems in the languages I know by heart. Throughout my teenage years and 20s I was afraid of speaking to people and engaging in conversation because I feared sounding stupid, or saying the wrong word or just generally messing up my speech, would make them either think I was dumb, or they would feel overly sorry for me. When speaking Finnish I know that I will often use the wrong word for something, that I will conjugate a word wrong, that I will mess up complete sentences and that my speech will be far from good. And knowing that it will most likely sound stupid whenever I speak Finnish, ultimately set me free from worrying how I sound when I speak the languages that I know fluenty.

These are still only my experiences, my speech problems came from a mental problem, so I'm not even sure starting to learn a new language would benefit someone whose speech problems are because of physical trauma, and I'm not even sure if other people whose speech problems ARE an effect of mental illness and mental trauma could be helped by learning a new language. My knowledge of how acquired languages work in comparison to native languages in the brain is nonexistent. These are just anectdotes and what I personally experienced.

[autisticlee]

that feeling when you get a case manager becasue some of your autism struggles is with phone calls and auditory processing disorder and speaking in general and need someone to be your ears and voice for you, and the main discussion with her is about that,,,,,and then she calls you to set up the next appointment and wants you to call back. oh come on. why 🥲

[disagigglebilities]

Something got lost from thought to word again bois 😩

[possibly-emu]

Lately I've been doing this thing that's like with my words and stuff so basically for an example if I want to say "Look at that bird, it's sitting on a branch!"

It might come out "The birds branch is being sat on! ...by a bird? The bird is sitting on a branch..."

And it's really embarrassing. Sometimes it comes out when I'm typing but mostly it's with speaking. Sometimes I'll start a sentence before realising the way I've started it will make no sense with the ending, and I just.. stop talking.

Does anyone know what this is? I'm audhd and have dyscalculia and really bad coordination and stuff too and always write words the wrong way round. Idk if this is connected to my adhd or if it's something else on its own, but if anyone knows?

[muddypeeps]

I've had speech problems since I was young, but it still greatly annoys me when people can't understand what I'm saying as to me I was saying it perfectly fine. I just wish I didn't have to repeat myself so often.

[semispeakingautie85]

Using easier words.

I am trying to use easier words and shorter sentences to help with my speech and writing.

I can’t spell or say hard words, this slows me down.

I use filler text, I am trying to stop this.

Hard words and filler text makes it harder for others to read.

I started to do this because I would get lower marks on essays because I used simple language.

School messing me up again.

School taught me to rewrite so my sentences sounded better.

It taught me to rewrite so everything didn’t start with I.

This made my writing very slow as I couldn’t spell hard words.

I would lose track of what I had said. I found it hard to edit.

I have been writing emails without using hard to spell words.

If I get stuck on a word, I choose easier words.

I rewrite only to fix errors or make it simpler, enough so am understood.

Simple writing means am less likely to be misunderstood.

I worried that I would come across as not smart if I used simple language. Which unfortunately is true, this happened at school.

If you write in a simple way people don’t listen to the point you are making. to them simple language means you are not smart, so they think what you are saying isn’t smart.

I don’t care anymore, this is ablest and anyone who is like this can get stuffed.

I know a lot of words but using big words is not helpful to me or the people reading my text.

Less words means less words to remember spelling of.

Writing this way is easier for me and helps me get less tired writing.

Sometimes if brain is fried, sentences have to be very short.

At home I use single words like “drinky” rather then “can I have a drink please” my wife knows what it means.

I can’t organise my writing as my working memory won’t allow it, so this is my stream of thoughts.

[irantforpleasure]

Half of my life has been spent repeating myself cause I talk too quickly or being told to stop talking so loudly, I don't hear either of these.

And I get so pissed at my mother when she says she wishes she didn't ignore the schools advisal that I should attend speech therapy and thought "correcting" me herself would make up for it, y'know yelling at me to speak more lady-like or saying I sound r*tarded.

Or my personal favourite “Stop talking like that, you sound like you have a speech impediment!” and storming off when I say “That’s because I do!”

I shouldn't have a memory of her asking a 5 year old "Do you think you need speech therapy?" I was 5, I didn't think anything!

Now it's another tick on the list of stuff that "suddenly" she became aware of after I turned 18 that "Wasn't there when you were my responsibility"

Denying a kid therapy when they’re in your care because the issue won’t immediately kill them is neglect.