Damian and the pets reaction to finding Alfred the cat with illegal catnip?
Alfred the cat: *drags a pouch in*
Alfred: Catnip. It's medicinal.
Titus, opening the bag: Why is it glowing?
Alfred: Those are the medicinal properties.
Ace: Have you been seeing Dex-Starr again? I told you, that cat is bad news.
Alfred: Not relevant. Just help me hide it before our human sees.
Bat-Cow: How about inside the haystack?
Ace: No, it's from a Red Lantern. It could catch fire. Under the floorboards, perhaps.
Alfred: Absolutely not. I was instructed to keep it away from damp environments.
Haley: Why does it matter? Doesn't Damian let you have catnip?
Alfred: Catnip is fine. Damian doesn't want me being around Dex-Starr.
Alfred: It's complicated. Are you gonna help or not?
Titus: I know, Goliath! We can hide it under his bedding.
Alfred: That's Jerry's signal. Damian's coming. Act natural.
Damian, entering: I thought I would find you here. Titus, your bath has been drawn.
Damian: *shrugs and leaves with Titus*
Alfred: Phew, that was a close one. Remember, guys. What happens in the barn, stays in the barn.
[meanwhile in Metropolis]
Krypto, who was listening: Adding that to the blackmail file.
Jon: *shrugs and goes back to texting Damian*