Ya know, sometimes I wish I could have been a cool jock. But instead I was a swimmer. You know how uncool swimmers are? They're fucking weirdos with weird rituals and traditions like seeing who can swim 150 yards without breathing and sinking Barbies in the diving well. They're not even the fun weird like wrestlers or runners. They don't have fun like the team sport jocks either. They're just bad skin and goggle marks. Did you know that our guy's team drank syrup? s y r u p ??? One time I dumped water on my arm in class and the whole room could smell the chlorine. I don't think I got sufficient oxygen for 6 years and for what? The ability to dive into shallow water and not break my neck? My hairline will never be the same. Did you know my eyebrows burned off once? I didn't have eyebrows. What other high school sport gives you the thrill of being at risk of DYING if you stop though?
