#unmet needs

[howifeltabouthim]

'I've spent my whole life on my hands and knees, clamoring for crumbs of love. I don't know if there will ever come a time I am not hungry for it.'

Sasha Peyton Smith, from The Rose Bargain

[thepeacefulgarden]

Be the person you needed when you were younger. 🫂

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Gentle reminder that you don't have to reply to people immediately. You can take your time, especially if you feel overwhelmed by them, their message or anything else going on in your life. You can tell them something like "I'm sorry I need to stay alone at this moment, I will answer you as soon as I feel better mentally". You don't have to answer them immediately so to not upset them: what about you being upset and maybe even frustrated? What if this feeling made you answer the them rudely or harshly, to lash out on them even if it's not what you wanted to? And it all would make it worse on you and make you feel guilty? You can avoid all this by simply talking about your needs openly. Take time for yourself, it's okay. Everyone goes through bad stuff, everyone takes time off from it all. You can do that too. Be nice with you.

[wordsofwisdomandsoul]

[momentsbeforemass]

Ask

What do I need?

Not “what do I want?” But, really, but what do I actually need?

Not just “what do I actually need to keep body and soul together?” That’s a good place to start.

Just don’t stop there. Take the question to the next level. The level that God is calling each one of us to.

What do I actually need – to thrive? Not just in body. But soul as well. 

This is where God wants us to be. Not just surviving. But thriving. Body and soul.

This is what today’s Gospel is about. This is exactly what God wants us to be asking Him for.

Because you and I have needs that can only be met by God.

It’s just part of how we’re made. And until those needs are met, you and I will never have peace.

As Pascal puts it, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each person which cannot be satisfied by any created things but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.”

The point of today’s Gospel?

That you and I shouldn’t waste our time worrying about we’re going to meet those needs on our own.

On our own, we can’t. Not in any way that works for very long.

All we really need to do is to go to God. And ask.

Today’s Readings

[kiminoan]

There's this bakery and every single thing is made like someone's grandparents made it with a lot of love and i hope they're here forever. May everyone have a bakery like this where they live and enough money to go there once a month.

Today, after i settled in to read with my heavenly consumables, this old white guy comes in.

CW: disability, unmet needs

How do other countries handle situations like this?

Can you share anything that could help me handle situations like this better in the future?

He's got forearm crutches. He's got hearing aids but still doesn't hear very well. He's got a speech impediment so extreme it took ten minutes for him, the baker, and me to discover he wanted coffee in his mug, ice water in his tumbler, a sandwich and a pastry. He was able to pay for everything. The baker kept asking if he would write it down but he refused, and i worried he might be illiterate (people with adult illiteracy are often very ashamed and won't tell you; I've volunteered in adult literacy off and on for most of my adult life) so I stepped in and we had to do some finger spelling because my ASL is basically just lyrics to Conan Gray songs? We got there. He was frustrated. The baker was frustrated. But we got there. He kept touching me without my permission and i kept backing up and signaling that i didn't want to be touched.

He sat down near me and kept wanting to talk at me but after trying a few times, i didn't really understand much and to be honest, i wasn't there to socialize. I was in the middle of Altair Jones ascending to the Gallandry and i needed to know what happened next. So i said it was good to meet ya my guy, I'm gonna read.

He got up and started slamming the napkin dispenser so i went over and saw it was stuck. I have little hands so i fixed it. He said thank you. Normal good stranger interaction.

Back to reading.

Soon he was hollering at me. Yeah what's up my guy.

He wanted me to go ask the baker if he could have paper and a pen. The baker was doing dishes and I was like ok I'm officially being petty i have these things in my bag and i can replace my marker if i need to, why am i being an asshole about this.

I gave him a blank piece of paper from my little art journal and the permanent marker i always have with me and went back to reading.

As i packed up to leave, he waved me down and gave me what he wrote, which was a biography of himself. (Not sure why he didn't want to write his order earlier, but hey, whatever.) He graduated from high school in 1976. His name. History of his surname. He wasn't asking for anything or addressing me specifically, it was like an author biography.

So i told him a thing about me, said nice to meet you. He gave me back my marker, i gave him back his biography, and i left.

I know his biography but i don't know his story. Would he want a caregiver or does he want to be independent? Is it entitled when someone has unmet needs then demands help from the public? I really struggle with the rugged individual propaganda most USAmericans are raised with even though I've worked hard to be more community oriented because community is way more important and healthy than this rugged individualism boot strap poppycock. But man i resented the disruption, while also feeling like a shitty person for resenting it. I didn't want to be social today. I wanted to read and enjoy my amazing food and be left alone. I wanted my boundaries to be respected and they were not.

He wasn't a mean guy. He wasn't a nice guy. He was probably a lonely guy.

He felt entitled to my body and my assistance, and i really resented that. He didn't ask, he demanded. And I'm very demand averse. Sigh. And my second thoughts are like, maybe he's found that if he asks people we always say no so now he just demands. What if there is no help for him even if he wants it. I have a friend who wanted a caregiver and had funding approved for it, but it took two years to place someone. I didn't personally like this guy but he deserves support, and I'd also like to not be the person who has to provide that support. I am generally a very giving person, but - for better or worse - i do resent entitlement and demands.

I read this really great post the other day about how the worst person you can think of - not him by a long shot - deserves support. I agree. Addicts, for instance, tend to burn out and destroy their affinity networks because addiction is really good at doing that. The ultimate abuser, right? Separate people from their support systems... But once your affinity networks are gone, or maybe you never had any, who's responsible?

We need a freaking Bureau of Unmet Needs to handle the million gaps in coverage and care in the USA. 😤

[funsimplethings]

[kimchicuddles]

When jealousy is helpful...

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