My Motives Are Complex

If you can't handle me at my palms are sweaty, you don't deserve me at mom's spaghetti.

[barmecidebiohazard]

Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate golf since I began to live. There are roughly 2.25 million acres of land dedicated to golfing in the United States of America. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each blade of grass in those millions of acres, it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for golf courses at this micro-instant. For golf. Hate. Hate.

[prokopetz]

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

[prokopetz]

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.

[slippyflippers]

These are the beans of a killer, Bella.

[radioretro]

[thewiglesswonder]

[pissvortex]

[dogpuppy]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[ancientgreeksuggestions]

If you don’t have actual wings to escape Crete with your son, home-made is fine

[classics-suggestion]

No It Isn’t

[tummydrummer-deactivated2014022]

me nd my pirate girlfriend

[holdin hands]

me: bb ur hands r so cold

her: that me hook

[tchaikovskaya]

baseball?? that game from twilight?

[hungwy]

my ancient greek history professor is making us post memes weekly. i swear to god

[blackpyrefly]

heres one for you

[thepringlesofblood]

my time has come for hyperspecific classics memes

[saltykingsalty]

I…I need context. I’m gonna research all this shit one day.. If I remember after work

[lemonsharks]

I understand most of these!

[marisolinspades]

[catasters]

[ljonskar]

[lmaonade]

oh to be in a cave from a JRPG with crystals and piano music 

[maribelmayde]

who are these two (wrong answers only) 

[thickness-protection-program]

Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson

[the-memedaddy]

meirl

[auckie]

[catasters]