NO HESITATION, NO DELAY

you come on just like special k.  /// brian. 23 yrs. he/him. hockey sideblog: jsndemers.

[moniquill]

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[plague-vulture]

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

[hexjulia]

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

[godtrauma]

the man who owns and runs the thai restaurant in my town knows me by name. he is one of the kindest and most thoughtful men i know. i started ordering from his place back in january, which was when i got my fibromyalgia diagnosis. back then i was using a walker, had limited mobility in my entire body but especially my hands, and was very visibly in pain. i always ordered the same thing: yellow curry with no meat, potatoes and carrots only (i have texture and other dietary issues). he always made it a point to make sure i could get out the door and carry the food safely. he had his workers package the food so that it was easier for me to open. as i kept coming back and i told him a little bit about my health status, he would always encourage me to keep going. he told me about how the spices he used were good for inflammation and began to edit the recipe just for me so that spices that were even better for fighting inflammation were used. he’d give me extra portions and despite the fact that i would tip every time, i realized later that he never charged my card for them. as time went on and my condition began to get better, especially with the help of a physical therapist, he would make encouraging remarks and tell me how happy he was for me. the day i came in without my walker, he practically jumped for joy, and despite my insistence, he gave me my meal for free that day. i continue to make progress with my conditions and i continue to go to the thai place. this man who does not know me personally and who i hardly know anything about is one of my favorite people. it’s interactions with humans like these that make loving life easier. and his curry really does help my chronic condition. it’s comfort food taken to the next level.

[amovingmess]

This is what I think about when people ask what the meaning of life is

[capnsoapy]

people will have double-digit opinions on kink discourse and still manage to not know what BDSM stands for

[play-now-my-lord]

big dick super mario

[capnsoapy]

big dick super mario

[discontentramblings]

An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures

The show is called ‘All or Nothing’

[pangur-and-grim]

someone needs to chain me to a radiator until the puppy acquiring urge is out of my system

[pangur-and-grim]

(^ this is in response to my tags worrying about Pangur's reaction)

Pangur's actually pretty good with dogs! she doesn't love them, but she doesn't get too stressed out by them either (even when she probably should).

my parents have a 120lb Leonberger named Rusty Nail, and Pangur likes to follow her around and make evil chittering noises. and because Rusty doesn't react, Pangur gets to believe that she's won these encounters.

[dreamycastaway]

The original pride flag and the sewing machine it was sewn on

[iwriterobots]

[beemovieerotica]

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

[pangur-and-grim]

one of the medical reports for my broken leg called me attractive and pleasant, and I haven't let myself read another medical report since because I want to maintain a Schrödinger's cat type situation where the reports might say 'still attractive, would fuck' or they might say 'ugly now, aged poorly' and I'll never know because I refuse to let the wave function collapse into a single reality

[daco-showman]

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

[ivy-michaels]

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

[fuckblast]

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

[ivy-michaels]

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

[valencians]

fantasy: the kingdom has been ruled by one family for 10,000 years

science fiction: a new species evolved in 30 years

[akashicrecord]

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

[overturned-toybox-of-thoughts]

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

[akashicrecord]

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?

[gmbencompetence]

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

[jupiterjunebug]

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

[gmbencompetence]

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

[thisisdefinitelyacreativename]

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

[gmbencompetence]

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

[turtle-powered]

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

[gmbencompetence]

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

[analienorsutin]

Rare blue watermelon

[sickofimmortality]

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

[akiraita]

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

[unicornfan]

soap makes water molecules smaller

[elphabaoftheopera]

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

[brucebocchi]

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

[adataraxia]

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

[softurl]

[sasukehateblog]

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

[painisthecleanser]

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

The two way mirror

[rinlockhart]

“listen here, cumslut.”

[tenaflyviper]

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

[nyokoko]

I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

[chromaticabrasions]

all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)

infinite chocolate hack

berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)

mri scan walking dead gif

train gif brain thinks you died

tubby custard machine

horse dildo

moonmelon (and variations)

alexandria’s genisis

bird chocolate fountain og post

soap shrinks water molecules

we are killing the earth

ham on dog

tequila isnt a depressant

earth is lumpy

joker without makeup

voldemort fetus

two way mirror og post

fig vagina

[carillonghorn]

[casuallyodd]

[theconcealedweapon]

[spiralarray]

[undeadentropy]

I vote we stop calling it inflation at all. Seize the language. It's price gouging, not inflation. Inflation is a nebulous concept that invokes feeling of being too complex for the layman, a struggle as old as economy itself against a beast no one has ever truly slain.

Price gouging is the truth of it. And it makes it very clear who is to blame, and what must be done to end it.

[cy-cyborg]

Can confirm this works wonders. Australia is in a cost of living crisis rn and the two major supermarkets are a big part of it, as they pretty much have a duopoly on not just the grocery shopping market, but a bunch of others considered to be essential (things like fuel). They are trying to blame their price rises on inflation, but the media recently started reporting it as price gouging (which it is), and it got the average person pretty worked up, better than blaming inflation did.

[riotouseaterofflesh]

It's price gouging, not inflation.

[riotouseaterofflesh]

#and it's punitive #one of the reasons they fired this up was because people were TALKING about raising the minimum wage #and the sudden jump in prices let them say “see? we told you this would happen if you raised wages!” #even though wages only got raised in a couple of places

[owlet]

thank you scherz et al. for bringing us the frogs Mini ature, Mini mum and of course, the Mini scule

[owlet]