^(^-^)^

30. he/him. gay. Sydney

[princecroutons]

👽 visitor from another planet

[thats-a-cat]

that's a cat ✅️

[princecroutons]

[poorly-identifying-cats-in-posts]

I'm not sure anymore ... this is really scary ...

[kuroiyuki96-art]

Ashen one (Knight Set)

[parkchanwoohoo]

[pengosolvent]

[throathole]

Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean

[anariel-the-elrond-apologist]

I’ve seen quite a few of these in my time, but this one takes the cake.

[throathole]

This is fucking killing me

Golp: a roundel purpure.

Repeat this to yourself until it begins to have meaning

[a-book-of-creatures]

Okay then since some of you need to be reminded of this:

Roundels are circles in heraldry. They are named according to their color, which also has its own lingo. Let’s meet them!

Bezant: roundel or (gold) 🟡

Plate: roundel argent (silver) ⚪️

Torteau: roundel gules (red) 🔴

Pomme: roundel vert (green) 🟢

Hurt: roundel azure (blue) 🔵

Golp: roundel purpure (purple) 🟣

Pellet: roundel sable (black) ⚫️

If your field is strewn with roundels, you can describe it appropriately as being bezanty, hurty, golpy, and so on.

[cognitohazardous]

[penandinkprincess]

parenting commitment level 3000

[penandinkprincess]

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

[starsarefairylightsfornerds]

[aqueerkettleofish]

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

[that-stone-butch]

personalized ads are so funny to me

'hey we've been spying on you and tracking your every move. it's a culmination of state of the art technology and an unprecedented invasion of consumer privacy. a room full of men with made up jobs bent their will toward decades of constructing this system, defending it in court, and tirelessly innovating new ways to aggregate more data about you'

and the end result is

'yeah so uh we saw that you recently bought a car. so here's an ad for that car'

like no i'm good actually. you might be aware that i already have one

[elfwreck]

[medusabraids]

….they really had sex on that mountain with absolutely no lube

[nvclearbomb]

Understanding this, is gay culture

[smegma-factory]

I think everyone has seen Lord Of The Rings

[only-cat-memes]

[the-big-mood]

At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

[laserwalnut]

Ditto Humor

[importantcatpics]

[hypotenussy]

fool me once shame on you fool me twice you have been locked into my bad ending

[lilyblisslys]

me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

[mollyjames]

[tanadrin]

would be fun if language acquisition echoed language evolution a la recapitulation theory. kids going through an indo european phase.

[jadagul]

https://xkcd.com/2567/

[tanadrin]

fuuuuuck there really is an xkcd for everything

[bigscaryd]

Quick put an animal book in front of him and ask him what this guy is

[nordenflycht]

there's an xkcd for that also

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[yuriartillery]

I hate being aware that my frenzy meter is filling

[kingcatnine]

known booboo moveset:

booboo wheel

booboo missile

booboo shield