just messing around

Ternary | they/them | not a minor | aroace but make it queer | AO3: werealldreaming | #positivity tag

[penandinkprincess]

I've been thinking about Spaghetti the snake for three straight days, and you know how Harris has the little video series with some of the players? BBQing with Bood, Riding with Roz, something with Wyatt and comics... I offer you: Snakes with Shane. He shows off Spaghetti, answers common questions about snake ownership, and corrects common misconceptions. He doesn't want to be the Asian hockey player, and he doesn't want to be the Gay hockey player, but he will be the Snake hockey player.

i love the idea of shane just accepting that the world is going to try and box him into SOMETHING other than just hockey so FUCK IT

SNAKES

if herptology with hollzy means he doesn't get any more questions about gay culture that he cannot answer and doesn't want to learn about, then FINE

listen UP motherfuckers today we're talking about the importance of proper feeding schedules-

[penandinkprincess]

this is also me speaking from the outside so possible i'm wrong, but i feel like a significant portion of the snake community is queer people, and i am so delighted by the idea of shane just. stumbling his way into accidental queer community through the avenue of snakes.

i feel like it would be valuable for him being able to process that being gay doesn't have to be his defining trait and that he can embrace it without having to perform anything other than himself, and i also just find it extremely funny to imagine him just. not even knowing at first. it's like three years before he discovers miranda the milk snake has two moms and the triplets (three near-identical cornsnakes) are the triplets because they're owned by a triad that first met on a reptile forum when they discovered other people had a snake that looked like theirs.

[wavezies]

things in phm that really tickled me as a marine biologist:

the concept of star-eating microbes causing a crisis and the solution being the introduction of space wolves to space yellowstone to control the space elk population. i love a good trophic cascade

dr ryland grace immediately pitching "turn the spaceship into a giant centrifuge to generate gravity" and then not balancing his actual centrifuge later on

the entire "life is reason" scene really

grace forgetting to open the mystery alien container in a fume hood AND immediately sticking his nose in it. if we did this in chemistry lab we were executed on the spot

academia drama being one of the cornerstones of grace's character

grace switching through every spectrum setting on the microscope to try to see into the astrophages and not being able to (relatable)

also: the astrophage dying and grace going "ohhh it died..." (very relatable)

grace having his not-scientist buddy Carl to give him frank solutions when he's overthinking. yes, often the solution is just to put the box in another box

copious duct tape usage

just sticking a filter into the path of the petrova line to collect astrophage goop

eva going "so it's alive" when grace tells them the astrophage are moving, and him being like "WELL ok that could be for a lot of reasons" in the tone of someone who doesn't even know where to start explaining why that's a hasty assumption

grace referring to the first new astrophage as his and carl's baby multiple times (HIGHLY relatable)

humanity's greatest hope being a teacher. humanity being saved by grace's ability to find novel ways to communicate well with others -- something that made him excellent as an educator, and enabled him to bond with rocky

[shrubfriend]

I love you Martha Wells. I love you and your beef with privatized transit and whatever happened to you at Rainforest Cafe.

[dimir-charmer]

One of the things I haven't seen discussed about heated rivalry is how Montreal, 3ven in the early 2010s, is well known as one of the safest and gay friendliest cities on the planet.

Thriving gay club scene and gay village and queer community who absolutely would have had a place for a kid who couldnt come 1out artwork but was looking for somewhere to be semi anonymously queer with friends.

Except. If that 18 year old was the number 2 draft pick, rookie of the year, shining star centre of the Montreal hockey team, which would have absolutely ensured he was recognized the instant he set foot in any gay bar of the city.

Shane Hollander has spent his 20s living on the doorstep of one of the gay Meccas of the world and he cant even press his nose against the glass in the front windows.

[the-breath-in-air]

Same with Scott in NYC.

[dimir-charmer]

While NYC is absolutely one of the gay friendly cities in the world, (I dont think its an accident that Scott plays for new York and one of the only other named teams in the league is San Fransisco, part of all of this is the boys lookimg out at the life they could have but absolutely dont) part of what i was driving at is that Montreal is a Hockey City in a way that New York just is not.

New York has two hockey teams, two baseball teams, two football teams, a basketball team, and thats just men's pro sports. If you are a sports fan in New York, you might not even follow hockey.

Montreal doesnt even have a baseball team anymore. They are a Hockey Town. And their hockey team, as shane puts it, is the most legendary franchise in all of sports. Better than the fucking Yankees.

Montreals hockey team means something to the city in a way that New York's just doesnt.

Scott Hunter has a better chance of being anonymous in public in New York than Shane does in Montreal.

[twilitdragoneye]

I need Heated Rivalry fans to understand just how much hockey players are really only celebrities in Canada. A HUGE part of what players talk about when discussing franchises is how there is the extra pressure on a player for a Canadian team because they are known in a way that they simply aren't in the states. Like Jack Hughes (center for the New Jersey Devils) is a huge face for the NHL, he's one of the faces of his franchise, he (and his brothers) are major success stories of the US national development program, first overall draft pick, represented the US internationally multiple times, you get the idea. He was photographed by paparazzi having dinner with Tate McRae semi recently and the caption of the photo was Man in hand cast seen having dinner with Tate McRae!

There's the pressure of being a player from an Original Six team (Boston, Chicago, Detroit, Montréal, New York, and Toronto) and then there's being a Canadian original six, and above that there's being the Canadian O6 that only has hockey (and CFL but that's a different conversation)

[raincitygirl76]

Yes. All this. Shane would’ve been far more anonymous in Boston. Even though Boston is also an Original Six NHL team.

Also, tags by @lizard-queen-izzy

And tags by @zeegras as well. Even if Shane hates nightclubs and bars, there are things he could’ve done in Montreal to make new queer friends. And also to potentially meet hookups or even start dating in the local queer scene. If he weren’t an extremely famous local celebrity.

He could’ve joined a queer hiking club or a queer running group, or a queer hockey fans club who go to Montreal games together. He could’ve joined a damn queer book club even. They have all these things here in Vancouver, and I’m quite sure they have them in Montreal too.

Some of those clubs would’ve skewed quite a lot older than his generation, but the more outdoorsy clubs would’ve definitely had people his own age. And the middle aged queers could’ve introduced him to their younger friends. Knowing he was new in the city, and isolated because he couldn’t be out at work.

But because Shane was the #2 draft pick, all those possibilities for finding a community were denied to him. Because he wasn’t just some young guy who couldn’t be out at his conservative job. He was a young guy who was instantly recognizable all over Montreal and its suburbs.

[elizabethtenderlyatomic]

NHLers have said they like playing for the Rangers because New Yorkers don't give a fuck if they see them on the subway or whatever. Scott freaks out in the art gallery, but he does go there, and also suggests the Mexican food date. There's a solid chance he wouldn't have been recognized. Shane in Montreal would have pretty much no chance.

[bugsnbites]

Grace making huge advencements in the Eridian medical field.

Turns out there's a childhood disease to the tune of measles that erodes the carapace, and the first symptom shows up about a week before any actual damage is caused.

Grace comments to Rocky that one of his students seems to be turning oxidisation-green. About a week later that student has to be hospitalised for this illness.

Eridian scientists realise pretty quick that Grace can detect the illness long before any of their equipment can, and when caught that early it is much, much easier and safer to treat.

Not only is Grace celebrated in the scientific field for his knowledge and for his part in saving the world, he becomes a beacon of hope for doctors and parents and children on Erid.

[redsparrow12]

The first early diagnosis test involve the equivent of sending a polaroid of the kids to Dr. Grace, who can write "OKAY" or "GREEN" on it

[type-blaze0]

Quickly after that, rocky's color gun can be found in basically any school or clinic. Turns out in the time they've been coming back home, they've accidentally invented a tool that can eradicate the disease

[avoid-avoidance]

Except Rocky's gun isn't a color gun, exactly, it's a light gun, taking old Eridian camera-tech (likely developed for very niche scientific purposes, to study phenomena in Erid's upper atmosphere or in orbit) and modifying it for hand-held use. If I recall correctly, it wouldn't function in the pitch-dark that is Erid's typical environment, so the medical device that gets created to test for this disease would be Rocky's gun plus a little flashlight attached.

In the future, Eridian children would get regularly checked out with that device to confirm that their carapace reflects only the expected amount of "middle-rough" light frequency. Passing those checks is a prerequisite for the child to go to classes, etc.

And so eventually, the phrase "given the green light" becomes an idiom for "given the go-ahead" on two different planets, for two very different reasons.

[starryhoundbloo]

Shout out to my mom who explains my transition as "Having a daughterpillar turn into a Boyterfly". It doesn't erase the fact I was an adorable little girl, and also affirms my gender now. I love my mother.

[only-cat-memes]

[eonblueinmay]

May I offer you a hudson thirst trap in these trying times?

[softgnome]

Personally I do think that sometimes non-hockey fans can end up mischaracterizing Shane and Ilya because they don't know enough about hockey/hockey playstyles

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

I think Shane's more disappointed when a Metro falls for it. Shane sees it as Ilya set up a Looney Toons ass obvious trap and one of his teammates ran into it. Why be mad at Bugs Bunny when you can be mad at your defenceman for falling for a fucking Bugs Bunny trap.

[darlingofdots]

people who definitely know that Hollander and/or Rozanov have A Thing With A Man (of variably certain identity):

various dentists

hotel housekeeping staff

the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)

cleaners and laundry service employees

a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?

Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella

the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game

employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"

one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job

Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood

the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain

the apprentice of the bespoke jeweller's shop a week before that when he recognises the ring he watched his boss make for Shane Hollander sitting on Ilya Rozanov's bare chest in a post-game interview on TV

[themoonandmyman]

#MySveta is aromantic and hyper sexual btw… and we love that for her….

[what-even-is-thiss]

Health classes really ought to teach people what the beginning stages of addiction are like because a lot of people don’t realize they’re addicted to something until they’re years deep into it.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Signs you might be getting addicted to something:

If you go without it you feel unwell in a way that you never usually feel unwell. Sweating, tired, sleepy, headaches, irritable, depressed, etc. For example when I was in opium withdrawal I got incredibly depressed in a way that I’ve never been before or since. When you quit caffeine you might get super bad headaches even if you never usually get any headaches.

Thoughts of it regularly bother you and the thoughts go away once you’ve taken it but only temporarily. Unlike with a food craving which usually stays away once you’ve satisfied it or distracted yourself from it.

You find yourself rationalizing with yourself why you should break your own rules about how much you can take and how often. For example you might only let yourself drink alcohol every four days but start thinking that three days is actually close enough to four days, right? Especially if this happens regularly.

You’re using it so often that you feel the need to lie about how much you use because other people might think it’s concerning

If the substance or activity is nearby it’s genuinely difficult to not consume it or participate in it in a way that’s really frustrating.

You feel bad when you’re not on it and your brain tells you “if you just take the thing you wouldn’t feel this way”

You can only feel “whole” or “normal” when you’re on a substance even though it’s a recreational drug

And if you read this and think you might be addicted to something, don’t panic and don’t feel ashamed. Realizing you’re addicted to something isn’t a failure. It’s more information about your health that you can use to manage your condition, whether you want to get rid of your addiction or not.

[talesfromtreatment]

Common phrases from owners that really do need clarification:

"Breathing heavy": do you mean panting? Coughing? Reverse sneezing? Labored abdominal breathing?

"Not moving": does the animal not *want* to get up but physical can and will if you pester it? Is it conscious but truly unable to get up? Are the hind legs specifically not working? Is the animal limp/unmoving when you pick it up?

"Has a wound": is this a superficial scratch or did the animal tangle with barbed wire? Are all pieces of the animal still attached? Also, did this happen today, yesterday, last week or 3 weeks ago?

"Limping": is there a subtle hitch in their giddyup? Are they bearing weight at all? Are they toe-touching or holding it up entirely?

"Difficulty walking": are they able to walk *at all*? Are they dragging a leg or legs? Are they walking like they're drunk? Are they circling to one side?

"Not eating": do you mean just their regular food but will eat treats? Are they eating less? Eating slower but still finishing it? Or are they refusing to swallow even their favorite food?

"Lethargic": do you mean they only wanted to walk 4.5 miles instead of the full 5? They don't want to play or go on the walk at all? They are choosing to lay in one spot and prefer not to get up unless they have to, such as for food or to go to the bathroom? Are they unwilling to move even for food?

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you have won a lifetime supply of this

How do you feel?

good!

I CAN SELL THIS AND GET RICH

im drowning in my supply help

Eh it's okay

BAD. VERY BAD

results/other

Voting ended onJul 15

you would receive the supply once a month

the brand/type will vary so you could

you can sell the things you get/give them away but they will keep coming until you die

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[roadhogsbigbelly]

i honestly don't really understand why "some people prefer watching gameplay online rather than playing games themselves" is treated as such a taboo when being a spectator is considered a pretty mundane way to engage with most sports, game shows, reality tv or even just like. chess.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]