I love you Martha Wells. I love you and your beef with privatized transit and whatever happened to you at Rainforest Cafe.
Wait. Did I breach containment?
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
taylor price
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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Mike Driver
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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Product Placement

bliss lane

titsay
trying on a metaphor
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Andulka
macklin celebrini has autism
sheepfilms
Fai_Ryy
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
YOU ARE THE REASON

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

gracie abrams

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@shrubfriend
I love you Martha Wells. I love you and your beef with privatized transit and whatever happened to you at Rainforest Cafe.
Wait. Did I breach containment?
I just want to remind you that sometimes your life really doesn't begin until you are 26+... Romanticizing and obsessing over our youth is harmful. Growing up is beautiful. Discovering who you are and how you interact with the world is a gift. Maturing and learning what you truly want out of life and living in that purpose brings fulfillment and peace. Your life is not over in your early 20's because you haven't figured it out yet, it's just beginning.
I think Qifrey likes dragons....Maybe?
explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly
I’m really enamored with the dynamic of two characters who work perfectly in tandem, like pacific rim drift compatible level, but they don’t like each other. It’s not even as strong an emotion as hate it’s just a very neutral-negative dislike, but they still act in perfect concert and their individual abilities are fully complementary
straight people: i love you.
gay people: strike me down. you’ve won. i’ve lived my whole wretched life at your mercy, yours alone, and God knows i deserve to die at your hand. you are my only friend. i am undone without you.
come home, take shower, get dressed, put on make up, do hair, go to event, stay at event for 15 minutes, come home, put on pj's, shove marshmallow into face.
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
Murderbot entering Ravi-Hyral: YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN ENTER A SPACE. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN DO THAT TRANSACTION.
Pilot dropped his water bottle underneath the console and it got stuck behind the peddles; They were talking to maintenance and asking them for a giant stick to try and poke it out from under there because obviously, that's a HUGE safety hazard. I finally bullied my way into the cockpit insisting I was small enough to try and just grab it and managed to wiggle under and get it in like 5 seconds flat.
They looked at me in pure awe. I have never felt more powerful.
Artistic rendition
Mooooreeeeeeeee Graces because he is in fact fun to draw sound the alarm the rumors are true
idk who to credit for the original meme but i really needed an updated version
the ipad brothers. they're rotting.
they don't warn you how much you're going to love rock lee. no one tells you
I thought I was home alone so I started loudly working on my Jennifer Coolidge impression as I wandered around the house...I was NOT home alone and my roommate was in the office howling with laughter so I guess I'm getting pretty good.
Shout out to Ryland Grace, the first person to kill an alien, the first person to befriend an alien and the first person to breed aliens. No one is doing it like him.