The Brown Eyed Recluse

Bi-Ace, Autistic, English/ASL

[whitepeopletwitter]

[a-spoon-is-born]

one of the ways i know this culture has a massive issue with consent

is the sheer amount of people I’ve known that just lie & tell people they’re deathly allergic to foods they dislike

because otherwise people will hound them, mock them, coax them, harass them, try to force them to eat it, or even trick them into eating it, and they will never hear the end of it

your coworkers will bake it into a fucking pie, call it something else, and wait til your birthday, gather everyone and their first cousins to sit around in a circle waiting for you to put a forkful into your mouth and then point rhythmically at you in a chanting, glaring, sweating, unholy circle like SWISS CHARD SWISS CHARD YOU JUST ATE SWISS CHARD HA HA HA SWISS CHARD NOW YOU LIKE SWISS CHARD

Because forcing someone into a situation where they don’t feel safe declining putting something into their body they’d rather not be there is totes 100% wholesome American fun

And this is something so known that it’s infinitely easier to just lie and tell people that you’ll die if you eat that food…which actually doesn’t always stop it from happening

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

I literally told one of my coworkers that alcohol interfered with my meds and I wasn’t drinking because it might kill me. (It wasn’t true, but that kind of underscores the point here, because I didn’t feel safe refusing him). He still tried to pressure me into drinking, demanding that I just “try it once and see what happens”. This was only the beginning of the bullshit he pulled.

I work at a camp with a zipline, rock climbing, and other activities. We have to repeatedly get in between people who don’t want to do a challenge and their peers/bosses/parents pressuring them into it. Seeing my coworker, a four-foot-eleven woman, get in an angry drill sergeant’s face and tell him very politely that he’s not allowed to force his soldiers to go on the zip if they don’t want to gave me three extra vertebrae. Some people feel incredibly entitled to other’s choices, and when you remind them that they aren’t, they get aggressive. Most times passively. Some times not.

For some people, no doesn’t mean no. No means force. The fact that they can’t legally use it outright doesn’t tell them it’s wrong, just that they have to resort to trickery to get their way, because they know best. They choose professions like police officer, nurse, or parent to assert that control, that need for dominance over those they consider unworthy. And we let them, because we as a society believe that certain people should be controlled for their own good, and teach that from the cradle.

[garlic-slut]

Consent isn’t limited to sexual experiences. You’re not being a “baby” or “stubborn” for not engaging in experiences you don’t want to.

[lgbttiktoks]

A movie

[drackiszunk]

A real one.

[babyanimalgifs]

Aw, this is cute.

[ask-ickle-mod]

Honestly I can’t believe that I’m watching this right now. This is This is the sweetest most gentle and loving and pure thing I’ve ever beheld and I feel so blessed to have seen this

[his-shining-tears]

“Sshh don’t cry, my baby.”

[fivever-and-ever]

well if this ain’t me or what

[qillermeme]

[remnantglow]

characters whose both greatest weakness and greatest strength are their compassion and unwavering faith in humanity

[cheaphalloweencostume]

literally traumatizing to learn that the london bridge is in fucking arizona

[cheaphalloweencostume]

this is rocking my world view i feel like i have to call my family

[rercho]

....where did people think 'london bridge is falling down' came from?

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i don’t necessarily conflate “falling down” with “being dismantled brick by brick and shipped to arizona to be rebuilt” but i guess its not my area of expertise

[everythingfox]

Tired loaf

[sweetmetaphors]

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: In Legally Blonde, Elle only gets accepted because she’s hot and sent a video, but she had a 4.0 and got a 179 (out of 180) on her LSATS. Sure, her major was in Fashion Merchandising but that’s a business major, and the fake school she was at was supposed to be UCLA so she had a business degree from a major college, probably went to a great high school, had a 4.0, and a 179 on the LSATS and at that point she would have been automatically accepted so why did they make it sound like she was such a bad risk? She even had leadership experience as president of a major chapter of what is apparently a huge sorority, since Delta Nus are shown as everything from cheerleaders to senators. Harvard should have been desperate to take her. She should have been able to get in if she turned in a cocktail napkin with her name written on it. So why make up the bullshit excuse of “multiculturalism” to justify letting in an extremely qualified and highly driven candidate just for laughs? Elle Woods deserved to go to Harvard and she earned that place with academic excellence and not by being hot.

[seashellronan]

you ever like go to make a post on here but as you’re typing suddenly every single possible misinterpretation and nitpicking argument that can and will be made on it flashes before your eyes and ur like ok nvm close post

[bounemr]

i don’t think we acknowledge enough that when children want to be treated “like adults” what they really mean is “like people”

this is just my own observations of course but 90% of the time when a kid tries to get people to treat them like an adult, what they really want is the respect and acknowledgement that they associate with adulthood - because that’s what they must give the adults. they have to give that to the adults in their lives, but the adults never give that same respect back, and so they see that difference and decide that they want to be treated “like an adult”

and sometimes i see parents who are like fine you want to be treated like an adult then you can work and pay rent but that’s the exact OPPOSITE of what the kid is actually asking for. you’re just belittling them, clearly intending to punish them for daring ask for your respect, clearly intending for them to break down and beg to be “treated like a child” again because you purposefully twisted their wants. they ask for respect, and you give them abuse.

never, ever, ever, treat a child like a full grown adult. it’s our responsibility as adults NOT to, because they ARENT adults no matter how much they think they want to be, and it’s our job as adults to take care of them.

that said, ALWAYS treat children like people. because they ARE that. they’re real people with real agency acting as best as they know to with what knowledge they have

it’s not a matter of kids trying to grow up too fast, it’s a matter of kids wanting to be treated like people instead of objects or pets.

[babyanimalgifs]

Baby animals are just so cute

[chokit-pyrus]

I saw this one post ages ago where someone said that video games can’t have plus-size characters, because “how could they do cool action?” I can’t find the post, but it inspired me to show you guys some gifs of real people.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[adaswordlace]

https://twitter.com/CriminelleLaw/status/1037511306906099712

Reminds me of my mom getting remarried several years ago, for about a weekend - dude waited until after the wedding to tell her he expected her at waiting at home with dinner waiting when he finished work.

I dunno, like I get that this version of manhood is “normal” but goddamn is it the most brittle, contemptable fuckin thing

[unified-multiversal-theory]

This is NOT these women’s fault in any way - these men hide their misogyny until they think you’re hooked. They know what they are doing.

[kittiesatemypronouns]

These women are wise and brave. I admire them so much!

[geekandmisandry]

Not even touching the fact that he thinks teachers and nurses are lesser…he wants her to be less so that he can be more.

[imnottechsupport]

Am i the only one that thinks they could have come back from this? Like please tell me this was just the straw that broke the camels back and not a one off event. He must be an at least somewhat respectable person if she managed to stay with him up til that point. Him feeling lesser is a taught facet of his life pushed upon him by the patriarchy. It obviously damaged the way he viewed his gf, and his relationship, but that doesnt mean it cant be untaught. And of course its not this womans responsibility to be his teacher, but i hope she at least made him aware that this is what happened and why she left…

[geekandmisandry]

Literally how can you come back from someone wanting to have more power over you?

He’s not a little kid, he’s a grown ass man and if he hasn’t learned that 1. Teachers and nurses are smart as fuck and 2. That women aren’t and shouldn’t be lesser to him then when the hell is he going to learn from that?

Why does it need to be a final straw? Signs that someone is this fucked up are logs, not straws. And being a “respectable” person is easy when you’re lying about who you are and what you think.

[dragonsrequiem]

These guys waited until they thought their women couldn’t possibly exist without them and then tried to shut down the things that made them special. Being nurses. Public defenders. Teachers.

These men pointed out what they were so proud of… how hard they worked… and tried suggesting that they stop. Tried making them feel bad about it. This is a common pathway into emotional and psychological abuse.

It was designed to make them feel bad and give it up. The next step would have been “what else can I take away”. Those situations where the woman’s confidence is shattered and it takes her years to get free of the asshole… 9/10 started with comments like this.

Please understand that this wasn’t an off the cuff thing. This was something he’s been thinking for a while, but waited to say til he thought he could make her change to suit him.

[crossbowsandunicorns]

This is so important. These are not normal or innocuous comments these are red flags and classic behavior of abusers. People like this are insanely manipulative. They hook you in and pick you apart piece by piece. It starts with this, moves on to isolating you from your support system, and then flashforward a few years and you’re convinced that you’ll never be good enough and you need them to survive. You end up broken and completely subservient. These women did the right thing and are brave for speaking. Abusers aren’t usually the neighbors you hear screaming and shattering dishes like you see in the movies. They’re your “friendly next door neighbors” and they keep quiet. People are too scared to talk. Again, why her speaking up is so important.

[porcupine-girl]

THIS STUFF ALL OF THIS.

People wonder how anyone stays with an abuser - this is how. Because manipulative people don’t hit you or insult you on the first date. They wait until you’re invested in them and the relationship, and then they start small, with comments like this.

And they rely on the fact that so many people’s reaction will be “okay, that sucked, but we can come back from this.” They bank on their victim thinking that way. They might even apologize and claim they won’t do it again. But they always do, and they escalate slowly, so you’re a frog in a pot of hot water.

Don’t wait for the tenth red flag, because by then you’ll be starting to think that hey, that’s actually kind of a nice shade of red, so maybe it’s not so bad to have all these red flags around, maybe if I just decorated with them they’d be okay.

[foxy-voxy]

Also, women are not rehabilitation centers for poorly behaved men.

[justcatposts]