In the beginning God said let there be Drama and He saw Cain kill Abel and He saw it was funny as fuck and He said it was Good

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@theholyhush
In the beginning God said let there be Drama and He saw Cain kill Abel and He saw it was funny as fuck and He said it was Good
protestants: god is not an absent father! talk to god like a friend! god is always with you! bring your problems to god, no matter how small! it’s not at all weird to call god “daddy!”
catholics: god is far too important to give a fuck about your lost keys or your algebra exam. please address your petty concerns to one of god’s ten thousand holy secretaries. if it’s really important, consider asking his mom.
catholics can’t get in touch with god because he’s always on the phone with a protestant
Frank Bidart
One time my rabbi told us, “imagine you had a box with a little bit of god in it. What would you do with the box?”
So we were like ?? “We’d protect it and keep it nice and clean and polished” and he was like “your body’s that box. Stop eating markers”
Every time I come across this post the last sentence smacks me in the face
I love the idea of dead gods. Not in the sense of “hey i killed something supernaturally strong” but in the sense of “i killed it and it’s still a god.” It is still worshipped. prayers are still answered. miracles are performed in its name, even as it lies pierced by a thousand swords and burning with chemical fire. even as it drifts through vacuum, decapitated and bleeding molten rock. in cosmic spite of being shot through each eye and hurled into a plasma reactor, it still radiates the power of the divine in a way that primitive death cannot smother. the nature of godhood is not so simple as to be tied to the mortality, or immortality, of any living being.
frequently thinking about how god decided off the cuff that people should all speak different languages and therefore become divided culturally and interpersonally because if we managed to successfully organize and work together we would eventually reach and defeat him. OG fascist.
Are you implying the tower of Babel was the first union
Heresy.
[ID: A meme with text reading “Attack and dethrone god”. /End ID]
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
i saw these posts practically back-to-back today. what’s going on 📿
I found this really important tiktok about what to do if a Jehovah's Witness or Morman missionary comes to your door:
I spent some time in a Jehovah's Witness church. They're exceptionally skilled at recruiting people into their church. (And I was an ATHEIST)
I left after a couple months, I stayed just long enough to see that they explicitly believe women are inferior to men, and of course, that homosexuality is a sin on par with murder.
The whole missionary door to door thing is NOT how Jehovah's Witnesses recruit. That is how they convince their members that the world is out to get them. One of the first things they teach is that Jesus requires you to try to convert non Christians to the faith. (They say non Christian but mean non JW.)
Then they say, "look how people treat us, just for the crime of wanting to save their soul"
They have long time church members tutor the incoming members to smooth the process over. They're trained to smooth away any doubts you may have about the church.
It is a textbook cult but because it's a Christian cult, nobody will do anything about it.
I just wanted to share, in case no one realizes how messed up JW can be, my family only left after the elders followed around my teenage aunts and other young women to "ensure they weren't sinning" and my great-grandparents STILL stayed!
Exmormon here, this is TRUE, to reiterate from satanslover above, “The whole missionary door to door thing is NOT how Jehovah's Witnesses recruit. That is how they convince their members that the world is out to get them.”
The same is true of mormonism. I know how annoying the missionaries are, but please take just ten seconds to be polite to them instead, please support cult victims 💖💖
You guys are missing the point of the song, the devil throws the duel to inflate Johnny's pride and cause him to eventually lose his soul. The devil is playing the long game here and is more than happy to trade a golden fiddle for a soul
Why would he be playing the long game if he was "in a bind" and "way behind" and "looking to make a deal"
that's what he wants you to think. You wouldn't strike a deal with the Devil if you felt he was cunning and powerful, but you would if he convinced you he was weak and desperate.
He's not gonna fuck you, dude
Damn, the long game to make him eventually lose his soul?
You know an easier way to get him to lose his soul?
Just be a better fiddler
prior to about the renaissance the devil / satan was almost unanimously portrayed as weak, desperate, and repeatedly getting his ass handed to him by people who likely couldnt read but would be considered ‘clever’ dont look at it as one isolated fiddle contest, look at it as the five hundred plus times the devil has been duped by farmers, fomer soldiers, blacksmiths, poachers, millers, and the occasional village idiot maybe the devil just isnt that good at his job a lot of his time
the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he was playing the long game on that fiddle contest
if you want to bring actual theology into the classic folk song, who in hell is setting soul quotas for Satan?
what are your thoughts on judas? why do you love him so much?
The myth of Judas is like every story in the Bible: it depends on how you read it.
There’s the first story, the one everyone knows, in which Jesus is divine and Judas is the betrayer and he is condemned for it. But what isn’t said is that there needs to be a betrayal; that the story hinges on it; the passion can’t play without it. And so the question becomes: if it’s all destined, if it’s fate, is Judas culpable? Was he lead to the betrayal - did he ever even have a choice? The question of Judas is the question of free will. This is why Jesus loves him most, keeps him close, never hates him - he’s part of the godhead. He knows that he’s not the only one who is sacrificed for salvation. And doesn’t Judas get the worst of it - reviled for all eternity, hated by all, written down in the book as The Betrayer? He doesn’t even get a legacy. He doesn’t get worshipped; he doesn’t even get to be forgotten. For someone to rise up, to ascend, someone else has to take the fall, and that’s exactly what Judas did.
The second story is the historical one, the one that says Jesus was just a man, and that he and Judas knew exactly what the fuck they were doing. In this story Jesus is the leader and Judas is his right hand, his zealot, the one who believes that the cause, the salvation of his people, is more important than anything else, more than anything Jesus might want, more important than any human bonds, any love or dedication. They’ve read the book. They know the stories. They know that the only way to make their revolution last is for Jesus to become a martyr. They make the myth because they are just men and the story, the story will last far beyond them. The story lasts forever.
And so we come to the Gethsemane, only it’s under different lighting. There’s this idea, somehow, that Jesus is the innocent, that the betrayal is a blow - but he knows what’s coming. In every version, he always knows. And that changes things, it complicates things. It changes the two of them from good and evil, profane and divine, into what they were and what it was - two men giving up their lives in the hope that they could bring hope to all the people who came after them. The hero and the villain because they created themselves that way.
I’m partial to the second story - because it’s messier, it’s more devastating, it’s more real to me. It’s a story about loving something so hard you can’t live without it and giving it up only for something even greater, a higher cause - and becoming unable to look at yourself in the mirror afterwards. That’s the thing about Judas - he wants too much, feels too much. And what’s more human than that? He is, all at once, the purest disciple, and the hardest; the most faithful, and the least; the one who loved Jesus and the cause enough to betray them, and sacrifice his own soul in the doing. He is the best of us and the worst of us, all at once, and what that makes him above all is human, in a way Christ specifically is not, in the messy and fallible way that we all are. The church wasn’t built on a rock; it was built on a kiss.
“You need to be able to express your emotions to God, whether they make sense or not, and to know that God understands and hears you. I often start a prayer time by saying, “I know I’m wrong about this Lord, but I just have to say it!”.”
— Glen Fitzjerrell ( @unkaglen )
This might just be because I grew up without religion, but I thoroughly believe a person should actively enjoy their spiritual/religious path, and if they don’t, then that path—not the person—should change.
I’m an animist now, but I enjoyed pantheism for a long time. I always liked reincarnation the moment I learned about it, so I believe it to this day. I decided I disliked any form of universe-mandated reward/punishment system, so I don’t subscribe to those. I don’t follow rules and creeds that create unproductive discomfort for me, or sacrifice my agency, because they make me unhappy. Instead, I hold fast to mindsets that fortify my growth and wellbeing.
At one point in my life I was Buddhist, and at another point I was Wiccan. I have been agnostic, a soft polytheist, and a hard polytheist. In many ways I’ve always been something of an omnist. I wasn’t “wrong” about what I was because I use religion/spirituality as a tool to connect with and understand myself and the world, and I need different tools at different points in my life. Kind of like how a potted plant needs different pots as it grows.
still-red:
“But every land should be a holy land. One should find the symbol in the landscape itself of the energies of life there. That’s what all early traditions do. They sanctify their own landscape.”
— Joseph Campbell, from an interview in The Power of Myth. (Anchor, 1991)
A twitter thread by Caitlin J. Stout @CaitlinJStout from Feb 25 2021 reading,
A friend asked the other day what percentage of people I went to youth group with “deconstructed” and what percentage remained evangelical. As I thought about it, I realized that for the most part it was the kids who took their faith the most seriously who eventually walked away.
Those of us who tearfully promised that we would follow Jesus anywhere eventually followed him out the door. The Queer kids, more than anyone, learned exactly what it meant to work out our faith with fear and trembling.
They told us to read the Bible and take it seriously and then mocked us for becoming “social justice warriors.”
Now they’re warning us not to deconstruct to the point of meaninglessness.
But they took a chisel to God until he fit in a box. They “deconstructed” the concept of love until it allowed them to tolerate sexual abuse, celebrate white supremacy, and look away from kids in cages.
Some of us got to where we are because we took it all to heart. We took the most foundational elements of our faith to their natural conclusions. Folks who deconstruct evangelicalism aren’t drop-outs; they’re graduates.
“Your kids are not leaving the church because you didn’t train them enough. Your kids are leaving the church because you trained them well enough to develop a sense for truth and justice. You let them read the words of Jesus - and they got it. And they’ve recognized that the church doesn’t seem to be interested in those words. They’re not leaving because they don’t know the truth, they’re leaving because they do.“
- Rhett McLaughlin
“But they took a chisel to God until he fit into a box” is probably the RAWEST line I’ve ever read in my life. Holy shit.
i for one LOVE that catholicism has become a completely decontextualized aesthetic online. yes it IS just gold and pretty stained glass and sexy sexy men wearing those sexy sexy collars. let it fall let it crumble away let the church that ruled the world for a millennia be crushed under the weight of a thousand pintrest boards
Broke: Christians arguing about whether the fruit of knowledge in Eden was an apple, pomegranate, fig, etc, because they think it's a literal fruit.
Woke: Knowing that Eden and the Temple are shockingly clear literary foils, and that the fruit is a metaphor for the "forbidden" practices of Goddess, tree, and serpent veneration which were actually quite common in ancient Israel and Judah.
Bespoke: Theorizing that because the story is about loss of harmony with God and nature, essentially telling the story of humans transitioning from hunter gatherers to grain agriculture and civilization, the appropriate symbolic "fruit" is actually wheat itself, which is why it figures prominently in the curse narrative.
Baroque: Psilocybin.