The least interesting man in the world

Actually a bird, Aspiring Polyglot, Loves science, Art is great

[angelchangsta]

I would have a LOT less anxiety about responding to emails if all email interactions were like this

[stimman3000]

we’re really at that point in the year where no one cares about anything huh

[krishnadewme]

[lionkins]

[falnyx]

[catchymemes]

[insomniac-arrest]

late night cashiers at 24-hour convenience stores are the holders of our greatest secrets and most intimate selves

[insomniac-arrest]

not my mom, not my partner, not God himself has seen me no-make up in line to buy a choco-pop and panty liners while on the brink of a heart felt meltdown

no one has given me the empty stare of complete indifference that fills my anxious nerves with relief

there is nothing like the sweet freedom of complete nihilism experienced at a 7/11 at 2am, God lives in church, the randomness of the unfeeling universe lives at aisle 9 of CVS 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what a fabulous and also philosophically horrifying tumblr post, thank you so much

[stonebluerue]

Honestly though, the people at cvs are just completely unshakable its wild like they just stare at you as if they can see the great abyss behind you and you in comparison are nothing to them. Its a weird vibe

[the-real-d-sandman]

Thats just the purest form of exhaustion.

[oppa-homeless-style]

man i had a dream that magic was discovered in the near future

but it was like. shitty unbalanced fantasy magic. like within a few weeks people had wikis and guides up on how to glitch in immortality potions and time spells. people are just tossing homemade black holes around. i looked on the news and saw some speedrunner made it to the edge of the universe

[oppa-homeless-style]

first of all how dare you assume im literate

[thecommonchick]

[thejoyfulfox]

I’ve been caught

[optimistictrainwreck]

I feel personally attacked

[figtopnote]

where’s that lorde tweet abt people not being ready

[figtopnote]

[theonion]

[veggiedaddy]

crow: doing a silly little walk through the grass

me, in tears: fucking superb you funky little death omen

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

I love hanging out with baby boomers my mom was driving and we passed a “road work ahead” sign and obviously i have no self control so now she thinks I’m the funniest person she knows

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

Why would anyone pick a human race in a fantasy game

[friendshipismax]

I want a fantasy game where human isn’t even an option

[overfedvenison]

Nah man, humans are the coolest

It’s one thing to fight demons if you’re from a species that lives for hundreds of years, is tied to natural magic, and births the best archers on the planet. It’s another thing entirely to do the same when your species is known to be slightly-above-average at farming.

[creepsandcrawlers]

“im regular jeff and im gonna behead tiamat and die trying”

[yellowpoet]

My aesthetic: when you take off your glasses on a highway and all the lights go soft and smudged, a trail of amber behind you like a quiet afterthought

[troyetroyetroye]

My aesthetic: keeping my own glasses on so I can see the road and not die

[momoiroinkremade]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could dream with other people, like multiplayer dreaming.

[singinbluebird]

[frogmunist-deactivated20190724]

If you require kids to go to school by law, they shouldn’t have to pay for anything at all to be able to go there. They shouldn’t need to pay for food, books, a laptop, anything that the school gives you. If a child has to pay in any way to attend school, it’s a failure of our government to provide proper funding

[chronicallycozy-deactivated2018]

This also includes transportation to and from school.

[thefibrodiaries]

This should also include accessibility, aids and assistance for disabled children!

[fvckingholland]

The best things about this video

Tom and Jacob fighting each other. With lightsabers. 

Zendaya filming it

Tom using his super hero skills

Tom breaking Jacob’s lightsaber

Jacobs laugh 

“You idiot!” 

Tom collapsing to floor cause he’s laughing

everything

[tami-taylors-hair]

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

[dragginage]

This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?

[systlin]

I once paid for a woman’s bill at the vet…it wasn’t a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says “I don’t get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?” 

So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.

And I don’t care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes. 

[filibusterfrog]

8th lv spell scars just to clear up any misconceptions, the scars are for the person who is hit by the spell unless ive written ‘extended use’ next to the spell

(Cantrip scars)  

(1st level spell scars)

(2nd level spell scars)

(3rd level spell scars)

(4th level spell scars)

(5th level spell scars)

(6th level spell scars)

(7th level spell scars)

>8th level spell scars