It's just a phase mom

Failed to Escape

[dogpuppy]

[mrsterlingeverything]

boba tea orders are increasing in Beijing btw

What does it mean

[ask-pacman]

We are monitoring the situation

[forcekenobi]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[forcekenobi]

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

[hyperchaotix]

[icarus-suraki]

[austimpowerz]

MOODBOARD FOR WHEN SHIT IS FUCK

[laqueus]

[sesh]

[sesh]

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

[foxgirlmindcrank]

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

[conspiracydeerist]

[blu3str1k3]

[thisarenotarealblog]

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

[morganoperandi]

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

[whumpster-fire]

[clouds-of-wings]

"Watching my dad (a GP doctor) watch House is more entertaining than the show"

[zoi-no-miko]

GOD, I wish more doctors were more like this redditor's dad

[sighinastorm]

been ages since I saw a rage comic!

>thread is from 13 years ago

oh.

[ninjamouse13]

[evilvarric666-archive]

[bentothuglife]

"Megan, Can You Do Me a Favor? Can You Fucking Shoot Me?" by Fall Out Boy

[memetheon]

he fell victim to the fuckor

[swesq21]

A Wave of Fuckor Wracked My Feeble Body by Fall Out Boy

[voidsetup1]

nothing here to run from

[notsoheterosapien]

INSANE!!! BEAUTIFUL AMAZE AMAZE AMAZE

[gay-mormon-wizard]

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

[lets-burn-down-the-post-office]

“I’ve been at the devil’s sacrament so long I forgot he wasn’t god” is getting added to the tumblr line book

[girlnephew]

[bustedlestatdoll]

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor

[thegaymertrainer]

TikTok live is such a waste of time there are no good….

[cognitohazardous]

this is how we should generate power for cities

[transmechanicus]

contextual storytelling from that sign in the back

[quendergeer]

muttering "the hamsters control the wheels" as i wander around like a blind medieval soothsayer

[transmechanicus]

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

[transmechanicus]

Experienced people eater weighing in with the most galaxy brain option

[dogpuppy]

[almondcroissantsandink]

Gifts for the Savior of Erid! (one of them, at least. Rocky got a lot of new jewelry, too) <3

[mephistopheles]

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

[mephistopheles]

500 MILES?!?!?!