No One Can Match My Salt

A Twilight Saga sideblog

[thesaltiestvolturiguard]

I’ve come back from the grave to tell you all about a Yarn Dyer that I follow. She’s creating a collection of yarn insipired by the Twilight Series. Check her out if you want some quality yarn for your next project. They are donating a portion of their proceeds to the Quileute Tribe.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kate | Yarn Dyer | RDFS (@reddoorfs)

[howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen]

wanted to include the info on how much is being donated!

[thesaltiestvolturiguard]

I just want to remind everyone that she is currently accepting orders for this collection. It will be closed tomorrow, 12/7/20, at noon (CDT)

[thesaltiestvolturiguard]

I’ve come back from the grave to tell you all about a Yarn Dyer that I follow. She’s creating a collection of yarn insipired by the Twilight Series. Check her out if you want some quality yarn for your next project. They are donating a portion of their proceeds to the Quileute Tribe.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kate | Yarn Dyer | RDFS (@reddoorfs)

[howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen]

wanted to include the info on how much is being donated!

[thesaltiestvolturiguard]

I’ve come back from the grave to tell you all about a Yarn Dyer that I follow. She’s creating a collection of yarn insipired by the Twilight Series. Check her out if you want some quality yarn for your next project. They are donating a portion of their proceeds to the Quileute Tribe.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kate | Yarn Dyer | RDFS (@reddoorfs)

[totallycorrecttwilight]

Aro: Would you take a bullet for Marcus?

Didyme: Uh… I guess?

Aro, pulling out a gun: Fantastic

[fandomlife-confessions]

[weirdgirlvampire]

i am LOVING the Twilight Renaissance 

[lagtim3]

@fandomlife-confessions 

Fact! Uteruses come prepackaged with half a lifetime’s supply of eggs. Balls produce sperm on-demand. This means there would have been about a two-month period where Jacob found himself inexplicably VERY gay for Edward.

[evilbeepthemeep]

wait I thought Stephanie Meyers made it canon that Edward can’t produce new sperm and the warm water of the ocean warmed up his sac enough for him to impregnate Bella. So in all Jacob should’ve been gay for Edward all along

[eroticcannibal]

The warm water of the ocean did what now

[dragkingandreweldritch]

[flight-less-biirb]

Maria of the Monterrey Coven, circa 1820

Requested by anon.

[favficarchives]

Serious question

How fucked are the Cullens now, with the rise of true crime podcasts?

“Only 19 years old, Rochester native Rosalie Hale vanished, only her bloodied beret left behind in a dark alley.”

“Previously considered killed in a bear attack in the Tennessee wilderness, eyewitness statements and decades of photographic evidence brings into question the true fate of Emmett McCarty.”

“One of the many victims of the now abandoned asylum, May Alice Brandon’s remains were never found. And her suspected kidnapper, an orderly whose name has been lost to time, has never been discovered.”

Like some kid is watching a YouTube series about MIA Civil War soldiers and there’s an episode about confederate major Jasper Whitlock and holy shit that looks JUST like Jasper Hale from Trigonometry

Before you know it there’s a whole r/cullenclan subreddit where a bunch of random true crime fans gather to share a picture of a crowd at Fashion Week that has both Rosalie Hale and Mary Alice Brandon in it and someone shares a picture of their high school graduation program and among the >100 names is all the Cullen kids, including this Edward guy who the kid SWEARS is Edward Mason from Chicago circa 1918

Occasionally, the evidence and even the whole subreddit disappears - almost as if /someone/ is trying to get rid of it all

But fret not, this is the age of the internet, and nothing can stop the CullenClan #thetruthisoutthere

[fiddlesolo]

how many times do u think the cullens had to flee town because a bunch of kids with scooby-doo gang vibes decided that there’s no way those six teenagers were not involved in satanism and did so much research that they almost found out that they were vampires?

imagine being the cullens, you’re 100 year old vampires with like 50 different college degrees between all of you, and your cover is blown by a bunch of 15 year old kids who dicked around on google for 20 minutes

[thesaltiestvolturiguard]

I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that vampires can perfectly mimic other people’s voices enough.

[roxilalonde-deactivated20251105]

there’s a line in twilight that goes “there was nothing more beautiful than Edward in his khakis and pale beige pullover” and i think about that every day of my life

[roxilalonde-deactivated20251105]

like stephanie meyer really did go “hmm. what’s the absolute sexiest garment i can think of. the most gorgeous clothes imaginable. how do i communicate how absolutely fucking fine edward looks at all times” and then 0.5 seconds later she went “oh, of course. khakis”

[sunfortune]

this reminds me of her emphasis on the cullens car that she constantly described with such awe and admiration and it always had me WEAK bc she tells you it’s a volvo s40 but then Describes it as if Edwards ass was pulling into the high school parking lot in a lamborghini or something and not literally a regular grey sedan

[kishibashiing-deactivated202212]

skdjfhalkfjhgakhfjgahlkjajdhdkgjfs

[carlislescoven]

“imprinting is a part of the book, you can’t just pretend it doesn’t exist!”

[brittany-murphy]

[thesaltiestvolturiguard]

Athenodora: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Caius?

Caius:...no. 

Marcus: I do. 

Athenodora: I know, Marcus. 

Marcus: I’m sad. 

Athenodora: I know, Marcus. 

[kyilliki]

pecans > vampires

On the one hand, pecans can’t eat you, hunt you for sport, or establish a government that secretly shadow-rules your life. 

On the other, pecans can’t seduce you with their eerie supernatural loveliness, fancy outfits, and/or weird historical tidbits, all while scintillating softly in the sun. 

I’d call it a draw, tbh. 

[volturisecretary]

TBH you really can’t change my mind on this. 

[myotherblogisfamous-blog]

Headcanon: Carlisle bought an island for Esme after she slipped up and killed a human. She was too distraught to even leave her room and being in a populated area was tough. The island gave her the security to walk around outside with hundreds of miles and an ocean between her and the nearest humans.

[someghostsarewomen]

Santa Maria della Concezione dei Cappuccini, Rome, Italy