Lessons learned from the witches of Discworld
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@thesecretmrsmith
Lessons learned from the witches of Discworld
There is a forbidden type of magic out there. It isn’t forbidden because it’s inherently evil, or forces you to lose your humanity, or requires human sacrifices - it’s just forbidden because it’s annoying as heck to fight against.
“Ma’am, I really must insist that you pay for the room and board I’ve been giving you! It’s been a week!”
“Fine, fine,” I grumble. “I have a few options for payment: I could give you paper money, cheap gaudy jewelry, chocolate coins, spiders, some pretty seashells-”
“Spiders????” he repeats, baffled.
“Spiders it is, then,” I agree equitably, and with a wave of my hand the bed I’ve been sleeping in for the last week turns into a writhing mass of various spiders.
Worth it.
—
“Stop right there! You’re under arrest for fraud, destruction of property, and-!”
I yawn. “Didn’t ask, don’t care.” A few gestures, and the guards’ swords are all transmuted into spiders, and then they’re too busy to worry about little ol’ me.
—
“You have insulted my honor and humiliated me in front of my children! I demand satisfaction! I demand a wizard’s duel!”
Shrugging, I say, “Sure, okay, whatever. Right here and now okay?”
The pompous wizard-noble blinks. “I- you don’t want to prepare? Get your wizard’s staff or anything?”
“Nah, I’m pretty good with somatic gestures.”
“Well, if you’re sure… here and now then! Have at you!” He slams his staff down on the ground dramatically, a small shockwave of fire radiating out from the impact.
So of course, I turn his staff into spiders.
“AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK”
“So if you’re too busy screaming to cast spells, does that mean I win?”
“AUGH ONE OF THEM BIT ME”
“I’m taking that as a yes.”
—
After that, they start coming at me in waves, with cheap wands and staves and swords and bows bought in bulk, hoping to exhaust my magical reserves so they can get close enough to put a magic inhibitor on me.
They did not expect my reserves to be as vast as they were, not did they expect me to be able to transmute the inhibitors themselves into spiders.
“Didn’t you take Magic Basics in wizard college?” I yell at the panicking mages. “Inhibitors aren’t immune to magic until the moment they activate! Serious weak point in the design, tell your magitechnicians to fix that!”
—
So of course they try assassins next.
Poison fails, because I transmute any food and drink I get into spiders and then transmute them back. Pretty easy way to get rid of poison.
So then they try knives in dark alleys. The knives bruise through my full-body spider-silk outfit, but do not penetrate, and they only get one shot before they have bigger problems.
Next is killing me in my sleep. None live to report back that the human-shaped lump under the blankets is actually a mass of highly venomous spiders.
The kingdom throws everything it has at me, and I continue to walk away, heralded by the chittering of spiders and the screams of everyone else.
—
Finally, I stand before the king himself in his overly opulent throne room, and by now he is a broken shell of a man in the face of my unorthodox tactics.
Good.
“What do you want?” he practically sobs. “You’ve singlehandedly redirected the entire crown’s budget for the next three years into replacing every weapon you’ve turned into spiders. Much more and we’ll be invaded by our neighbors! We wouldn’t be able to resist being annexed! So what can I give you to make you stop doing this?!”
I pause and pretend to consider, tapping a finger against my chin thoughtfully. “You know, you sent my brother off to war a few years back. That conflict with the Yughs up north, I believe. He didn’t want to go, so your guards forced him at spearpoint. I haven’t seen him since.”
He seizes on that, as I expected. “Yes, yes, I’ll have him returned right away! Tell me his name and I’ll honorably release him from duty and have him escorted safely home!”
“Oh?” I raise one sardonic eyebrow. “Are you able to bring back the dead now, oh wise and glorious king?”
He pales, and it’s the most satisfying thing I’ve seen in years.
“You have nothing I want,” I growl, letting the anger slip through for the first time in years. “You cannot bring him back, you cannot make up for my loss with all the riches in your kingdom. The only thing I want is to take everything from you, the way you did to me. Your kingdom will bleed out of resources, one of the neighboring countries you’ve been trying to conquer for decades now will take advantage and annex this place, and you will either be executed or forced to work for a living for the first time in your life.”
I glare at him, and he refuses to meet my eyes. “You will lose everything you ever cared about in your life. One spider at a time.”
I transmute his throne and crown into spiders (non-deadly; he doesn’t get to escape my wrath that easily), then turn and walk away, ignoring his screams and sobs.
—
And that’s why, when the Yughs finally annexed the kingdom I grew up in, they preemptively made Transarachnomancy a forbidden magical art. Not sure how they intend to enforce that, mind, but I’m not looking to challenge that. I’ve gotten what I wanted; if some other aspiring mage wants to try and follow in my footsteps, that’s not my problem.
Besides, in terms of magical skill, I’ve always been an outlier anyway. Most mages would be lucky to turn just one knife into a spider at a time; I can turn ten thousand with a few gestures. I doubt anyone will outdo my legacy.
But hey, if you want to try and surpass Georgia of the Spiders? Feel free. I’ll welcome the competition.
Amazing A+ no notes
Here's to the people who weren't abused by their parents, but whose parents sucked anyways. Here's to people whose parents fucked up raising you out of ignorance and not malice. Here's to the kids whose parents didn't know what to do with you so they did nothing at all. Here's to people whose parents are getting better and growing as people but still hurt you. Here's to every mean comment that wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't come from your mom; here's to awkward family dinners because you're all trying to forget;
here's to you, survivor of a thousand 'not as bad as it could have been' hurts. I see you. You aren't alone.
The union busting firms are scared
As a fine dining cook, I found work in a union workplace around a year ago. My 40 hours a week are guaranteed except for Jan/feb/mar when there’s not enough customers, I get paid almost twice what I did at any other restaurant, if I work overtime, (more than 8 hours in one day, or more than 40 in a week), I actually get overtime pay, (and it’s 1.5x my normal rate!). I get holiday pay, and in addition I get to either bank or pay out my holidays if I work those days, (either a paid day off when I want it, in addition to the holiday pay, or I get paid an add’l 8 hours at 1.5x that week). I also get two floating holidays, 4 paid random sick days, 2 paid family sick days, and 4 paid “doctor’s note” sick days, (paid out by our health insurance), as well as general allowance to take as many unpaid sick days as I want without worrying for my job security. (I’ve been told that taking multiple months off is where we start to be concerned about abuse, so if I want to do that, I can go through our leave of absence procedures instead, where I’m allowed three 2-week periods a year generally for whatever reason I want, (If my manager wants to disagree, he has to get the union president’s approval), and after that it’s up to my manager to decide if he’ll accept them). I get two weeks of paid vacation time a year, and an add’l week per year for every 5 years I work there. We get our legally mandated breaks, which, I know that sounds like a low bar, but taking anything other than a smoke break in a kitchen?!?! Unheard of! I get two 15′s and a lunch every shift! I get to sitdown and rest my legs and not get flak for it! I get a bonus at the end of the year, there’s official procedures for if my manager isn’t happy with me or wants to get rid of me, (three meetings, during which my union representative has to be present), (and getting rid of my classification doesn’t work, there’s rules for how someone ‘bumps’ other people if classifications are gotten rid of), and severance pay for when full-time employees that are downsized out of the company, there’s a pension plan, like . . . Guys, I have a 40-page handbook which details all of the rights my union has won me, and believe me, I’ve never had any of these at any prior workplace. And you know what my union dues are? $4 a paycheck. Of course I’m going to pay my union dues for all of those benefits.
Reblogging for this incredibly thorough explanation of what it's like to actually have a contract in place at a union workplace. I reblog a fair number of posts about how people should organize, but if you're like me, you might not know exactly what that can get you until you've actually gone through the process. Every contract is different because you bargain for what makes sense for your particular workplace, and every few years you re-negotiate with the employer to improve things in the next contract, but some things (like the right to have union representation when you talk to your boss about leave or discipline) are universal.
It's worth every penny of your dues, I promise.
Phenomenal news. Just what the people ordered.
Were the "Moms for Liberty" prosecuted for theft?
if they checked them out would they not just have to pay an inflated replacement cost?
Sir Terry Pratchett was not remotely in the vicinity of Fucking-Around, and had never even heard of that ridiculous thing some of his esteemed colleagues referred to as “Chill.” (1)
(1) In point of fact, he had heard of it, on numerous occasions, most often when a friend or well-meaning-but-politely-horrified acquaintance advised him to locate some, but he always studiously ignored this in favor of a much more productive righteous fury, which he kept hot enough to boil the kettle for his afternoon tea. If the world was not going to work as it should, then damn it all, he would create one in which people had some blasted sense for a change. And he did. Spite, as it turns out, makes for an excellent motivator.
“He’s not woken up at all?” said William.
“No. I look in on him every fifteen minutes or tho. It can be like that. Sometimeth the body just says: thleep.”
“I heard he hardly ever sleeps,” said William.
“Maybe he’s taking the opportunity,” said Igor, gently closing the door.”
-live comment from Ele Reading The Truth / haven’t finished the book yet-
He’s taking a nap!! I can’t believe that, he’s taking a -ing nap! Like: oh, what an amazing opportunity to rest for a while, let’s have the folks sorting out everything alone, I’m in vacation. Bye motherfuckers! (Or similar, since he’s always so polite and well educated)
Vimes will be mad when he found out that! “I was worried as sick and you was taking a nap?!”
Vetinari: “I was tired”
Sybil: “come on Sam, it was about time he’s taking a little vacation. You should follow his example you never take a vacation”
bahaha his holiday is fun
“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”
Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.
As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me.
One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.
Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.
Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.
Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.
Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children.
This is so goddamn important.
I verbally express affection. A LOT.
My husband… doesn’t. I don’t know why. For the longest time part of me wondered if it meant he loved me less.
At some point I told him about a thing I had done as a kid. Holding hands, three squeezes means ‘I Love You’.
Suddenly he’s telling me I Love You all the time.
Holding my hand, obviously, but also randomly.
taptaptap
on my hand, my shoulder, my butt, my knee, whatever body part is closest to him, with whatever part of him is closest to me
All the time.
More often than I ever verbally said it.
It’s an ingrained signal now, I can tap three times on whatever part of him, and get three taps back in his sleep. Apparently I do the same.
It’s made a huge difference for us.
People say things differently.
This is so sweet and wonderful. There are so many valid ways to show love and affection.
the three genders: male wife, girlboss, and silly rabbit
>implying roger isn’t a malewife
roger is a malewife and eddie valiant is a silly rabbit. what’s not clicking.
If Missouri lawmakers had their way, young people wouldn't learn anything about LGBTQ+ people until they're out of high school.
A more accurate description of Missouri’s “Education system” would be the first part of that sentence
“If Missouri lawmakers had their way, young people wouldn’t learn anything“
Republicans hate education, because educated people don’t vote for Republicans
I’m sorry that people don’t want to show books about buttfucking to kindergartners.
Oh cool, so this is a lie you really like, isn’t it?
You can tell the Republican argument is crap because all people like @newplayingsmash want to do is fantasize about putting children in sexual situations, then project the lies on the rest of us.
No one is showing kindergarteners pornography. Knowing that penguins adopt chicks to raise (And Tango Makes Three) for example is very much age appropriate. Banning it because Republican like to lie about things is both wrong and contrary to the 1St Amendment and basic freedoms.
Similarly banning children from good touch bad touch lessons on concent doesn’t protect them, it just makes them vulnerable to predation.
A kid knowing that a classmate has same sex parents isn’t hurting that child. Again, equating that with pornography is nonsense. Letting a child know that they are okay and other people like them exist is good for them, not harming them.
@ newplayingsmash, if your cause is just, why do you have to lie to defend it?
Things that People Forget About When Writing Sword Fights
You don’t have to dodge by a foot. You only have to dodge by an inch.
Not all swords are made the same way. You wouldn’t fight with a katana the same way you would fight with a broadsword.
You don’t need to aim for the heart or the head. Get the vein in wrist, and you could incapacitate that hand.
Small cuts matter. If you’re cut up enough, you’re going to start suffering from blood loss, and that’ll put you at a disadvantage.
The blade isn’t the only thing that matters. There isn’t some set of rules in sword fighting where you can only stick the stabby end into the other person. Hit them in the head with the hilt, and they’ll feel it.
If there are multiple attackers, you want to incapacitate or kill each one as quickly as possible. Endurance matters, especially when you’re not only swinging/stabbing/aiming something that is 2-5 lbs (ceremonial ones were a lot heavier, but wouldn’t be generally fought with) but also taking/blocking heavy blows from at least one opponent.
You don’t have to dodge
by a foot. You only have
to dodge by an inch.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
That final haiku actually makes for a pretty good maxim!
All the above. (Including the haiku.) :)
But also, regarding the not-just-the-stabby-end advice: significant sections of the numerous medieval-and-newer swordfighting manuals now available in translation are devoted to the art of clobbering or otherwise messing up people with the hilt of your sword in numerous inventive ways. Many of these are potentially quite lethal, and mean you won’t have to waste time cleaning your blade.
…Additionally, while thinking in this mode, feeling the need to mention a favorite move of my iaido master, back in the day: the one where you spear your (seated-across-from-you) opponent in the gut with the hilt of your katana as you’re drawing it… then finish the draw and chop your opponent’s head off. The move is called “Mutiny” (don’t ask me what it would’ve been in Japanese; if he ever told us, I can’t remember). But I can’t tell you how many times Shihan made us practice that damn move. There was just something about it that appealed to him.
Anyway, generally speaking: if you’re going to write swordfights, you may not have the time, inclination or money to study the sword yourself, but you can at least read the fecking manuals. They’re easily found. Here’s a link to one of the best-known ones, circa 1459.* These will break you quickly of any idea that medieval-period swordfighting was some kind of inelegant boring bash-clash-bash-clash operation.
…Oh, and re the recommendation about not going for the heart or the head: This is definitely on the money. If I was in a swordfight and was in a rush to get it over with, the femoral artery would be my choice. Wait for your opponent to expose it (or get them to, usually by you stepping back out of range so they have to step forward, exposing any opportunities offered by their leg armor while it’s flexing). When they do, chop deep on the inside of the leg above the knee. Then get out of range again so your opponent doesn’t fall over on top of you. Two minutes or so for them to go profoundly shocky: then five to seven minutes for them to bleed out. But regardless of the timings, since you’ll likely have bisected one or more of their adductor muscles on that side, they definitely won’t be getting up to run after you…
*Particularly directing your attention to the plates illustrating judicial divorce combat.
*Particularly directing your attention to the plates illustrating judicial divorce combat.
It’s obvious from his tumblog that @petermorwood is well-versed in medieval weaponry but (perhaps because I follow your Star Trek and your Young Wizards but not your Middle Kingdoms) I was unaware that it was your interest as well. Now I shall be envisioning the pair of your gallivanting about your simple artists’ home in the Irish countryside fencing like Morticia and Gomez.
Don’t forget speaking French, which I do with an accent good enough to get complimented by a Paris cabby - who then deflated me by saying, (DD can correct if I misremember): “…l'accent n'est rien sans les mots, et vous faut beaucoup plus de mots…”
“Accent’s nothing without words, and you need a lot more words…” It wasn’t cliché French rudeness, either (which we’ve never experienced, BTW). He meant it kindly, and DD can bear me out on that as well. :->
*****
As for what she describes as “Mutiny”, I’ve pinched it for my Alban books, where it’s called “the Adder’s Strike” and is another of those useful “If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead" moves - though if landed higher, for instance square against the throat, it can be lethal enough.
Of course like “Mutiny” it’s also the opener to a proper killing sequence: an opponent doubled over by that pommel-punch to the solar plexus is now in just the right position for the owner of the sword to take a quick sidestep while completing their draw, and then deliver a “Falcon’s Strike” (vertical downward cut) at the back of the offered neck…
Here’s Fairbairn’s chart instructing WW2 Commandos in what happens after an artery gets opened by one of the fighting daggers he was so fond of. Oddly enough the chart shows the femoral artery (those black lines down the thighs) but doesn’t list them…
And if anyone who’s learned bad habits from watching theatrical swordplay obliges by spinning around without a damn good reason, applying point or edge anywhere from the waist to the back of the knees will show them what a bad idea it can be. Cutting any of the muscles people need to stand up* will definitely reduce their combat effectiveness.
(* That includes the gluteus maximus, site of so many comedy injuries. In real life, a deep swordcut across the arse is as unfunny as an IRL smack in the face with a cast iron frying-pan.)
There’s a sound reason why real swordfighters almost always stayed face to face; if you can see the opponent’s blade you can deal with it, but if you deliberately turn your back, what happens next is your own fault…
And how can I resist reblogging him when he’s talking sexy. (In French or not.) :)
…Anyway, yeah, the characters in the Middle Kingdoms books are kind of unavoidably sword-savvy. In fact, one of the five primary characters taught himself swordsmithing for reasons that have nothing to do with actually fighting with the sword. (Or, for that matter, using it as a sword at all unless absolutely necessary.) And to teach him what he had to know, I had to learn it first.
(shrug) But when you’ve spent a week or three working out the fine detail of building a starship in orbit, what’s a little small-scale metallurgy? :)
I’m not even much of a fan of genderbends but goddamn am I even less of a fan of getting ordered around about what I should enjoy and how I should enjoy it and being lectured about how ‘problematic’ it is, when the real problem is that they’ve cast the thing in question in black and white and refuse to admit that there’s anything but their narrow framing.
Changing a character to the ‘opposite’ cis gender is a very different thing than making them trans or nonbinary. Insisting that people only change characters to trans is also really damn invalidating, because it implies that being trans is interchangable with being cis. Whoopsie doodle!
I think the real issue here is that a lot of people want to see more trans headcanons, but for some reason think that using sj words while being bossy and rude is the way to go about it. Dress it up in progressive language all you like; at the end of the day you’re still being bossy and rude to get what you want, regardless of anyone else’s valid feelings.
i get really irritated at kids who scream that genderbends are transphobic because they’re completely missing the context and history. they have no idea. it’s like to them, Cis People made up genderbends specifically to thumb their noses at trans people.
rule 63 was originally a guy thing, sexual objectification thing. it states ‘for every male character, there’s a female version of that character’, and not because the dudes who were into it cared about having more realistically rendered female heroes in their media. it was made popular on 4chan and porn boards and comics+gaming forums because you could reduce a manly male character into a sexy tits-and-ass pinup. there were related kinks of sissification, but mostly it was about getting to jerk it to a sexy female version of a previously unappealing, macho male character.
then women got hold of the rule and started going, okay. let’s look at the female version of this male character. let’s talk about being a woman in a man’s world. let’s talk about rorschach’s misogyny, tony stark’s womanizing, batman’s grimness, the fact there’s one girl ninja to every four or five guy ninjas, let’s talk about that in the hypothetical context of these male heroes being women instead. if there’s a girl version for every male character, what does that mean? what’s her story?
and it became this really amazing lens for female fans to interrogate stories through, to examine the effects of sexism and misogyny and masculinity, to introduce another woman into a story with very few, to identify with fully-rendered heroes of the fan’s own gender. and to interrogate the very nature of gender, which led into the development of genderbends where the character’s gender identity didn’t necessarily match their assigned sex, and from there an increasing interest in, and familiarity with, trans characters, trans people, and trans issues.
so like. people now reducing the issue to ‘cis people are gross and hate trans people’ is pretty ridiculous. it ignores basically twenty years of women questioning, confronting and then dismantling the de-facto heteronormative, exploitative male gaze in order to create the radically progressive fandom atmosphere as we know it today on tumblr.
I’d been trying to put into words my issue with the idea that genderbent versions of characters are somehow automatically, innately transphobic, and I think you pretty well nailed it.
Originally, it was called ‘genderswap’ or ‘genderswitch’, which was rightfully criticized for reinforcing a binary view of gender. Hence why it is now ‘genderbend‘. Things can bend in many directions.
Yeah basically.
Rule 63s can be transphobic and gender essentialist, no question, just as m/m slash can be misogynistic, but it’s not inherent to the genre.
The way I see it, rule 63 and trans/nb headcanons are two subsets of what I call “gender AUs”, and they’re not mutually exclusive. Girl!Sherlock Holmes is an example of one, trans!Holmes is the other, and trans woman Holmes is both. All those would be worthwhile explorations.
Yes! And all sorts have their place because all of them are exploring the experience of an under-represented group (or two) in a different way.
Thank you for writing this :) I never want to tell people that their feelings are invalid, but sometimes I think those feelings come from gut negative reactions that deserve to be re-examined. Like in this case, trans people have every right to be wary of something that could - and admittedly, sometimes does - re-enforce difficult gender stereotypes, and they also have every right to say genderbent art/fic isn’t to their taste or ask people to tag it.
But there’s nothing inherently transphobic about art that explores gender - quite the opposite, I think - and that’s what genderbends are about. It can be hugely beneficial to imagine male characters as female in order to explore roles that aren’t traditionally given to women (I would really love to see a genderbent take on, say, Stacker Pentecost for that exact reason).
All of the above is good shit but I want to add: for young people who are unsure about their own relationship with gender, genderbends are literally a tool to safely explore that. The number of people I know who are trans or nb who used these kind of stories as a way to safely consider some heavy issues is ridiculous. And these fics’ power to help people navigate aspects of their identity is worthwhile and good.
No one springs into creation with a full grasp on how to tackle the complicated tangle that is personal identity and we need to stop taking away stepping stones and tools that people can use. It does not help anyone and in fact removes safe arenas of thought and expression.
Stop stop stop stoppppp dissolving everything down it Good or Bad and recognize that different people need different forms of expression, and leave them alone.
I’m not even much of a fan of genderbends but goddamn am I even less of a fan of getting ordered around about what I should enjoy and how I should enjoy it and being lectured about how ‘problematic’ it is, when the real problem is that they’ve cast the thing in question in black and white and refuse to admit that there’s anything but their narrow framing.
Changing a character to the ‘opposite’ cis gender is a very different thing than making them trans or nonbinary. Insisting that people only change characters to trans is also really damn invalidating, because it implies that being trans is interchangable with being cis. Whoopsie doodle!
I think the real issue here is that a lot of people want to see more trans headcanons, but for some reason think that using sj words while being bossy and rude is the way to go about it. Dress it up in progressive language all you like; at the end of the day you’re still being bossy and rude to get what you want, regardless of anyone else’s valid feelings.
i get really irritated at kids who scream that genderbends are transphobic because they’re completely missing the context and history. they have no idea. it’s like to them, Cis People made up genderbends specifically to thumb their noses at trans people.
rule 63 was originally a guy thing, sexual objectification thing. it states ‘for every male character, there’s a female version of that character’, and not because the dudes who were into it cared about having more realistically rendered female heroes in their media. it was made popular on 4chan and porn boards and comics+gaming forums because you could reduce a manly male character into a sexy tits-and-ass pinup. there were related kinks of sissification, but mostly it was about getting to jerk it to a sexy female version of a previously unappealing, macho male character.
then women got hold of the rule and started going, okay. let’s look at the female version of this male character. let’s talk about being a woman in a man’s world. let’s talk about rorschach’s misogyny, tony stark’s womanizing, batman’s grimness, the fact there’s one girl ninja to every four or five guy ninjas, let’s talk about that in the hypothetical context of these male heroes being women instead. if there’s a girl version for every male character, what does that mean? what’s her story?
and it became this really amazing lens for female fans to interrogate stories through, to examine the effects of sexism and misogyny and masculinity, to introduce another woman into a story with very few, to identify with fully-rendered heroes of the fan’s own gender. and to interrogate the very nature of gender, which led into the development of genderbends where the character’s gender identity didn’t necessarily match their assigned sex, and from there an increasing interest in, and familiarity with, trans characters, trans people, and trans issues.
so like. people now reducing the issue to ‘cis people are gross and hate trans people’ is pretty ridiculous. it ignores basically twenty years of women questioning, confronting and then dismantling the de-facto heteronormative, exploitative male gaze in order to create the radically progressive fandom atmosphere as we know it today on tumblr.
I’d been trying to put into words my issue with the idea that genderbent versions of characters are somehow automatically, innately transphobic, and I think you pretty well nailed it.
Originally, it was called ‘genderswap’ or ‘genderswitch’, which was rightfully criticized for reinforcing a binary view of gender. Hence why it is now ‘genderbend‘. Things can bend in many directions.
Yeah basically.
Rule 63s can be transphobic and gender essentialist, no question, just as m/m slash can be misogynistic, but it’s not inherent to the genre.
The way I see it, rule 63 and trans/nb headcanons are two subsets of what I call “gender AUs”, and they’re not mutually exclusive. Girl!Sherlock Holmes is an example of one, trans!Holmes is the other, and trans woman Holmes is both. All those would be worthwhile explorations.
Yes! And all sorts have their place because all of them are exploring the experience of an under-represented group (or two) in a different way.
Thank you for writing this :) I never want to tell people that their feelings are invalid, but sometimes I think those feelings come from gut negative reactions that deserve to be re-examined. Like in this case, trans people have every right to be wary of something that could - and admittedly, sometimes does - re-enforce difficult gender stereotypes, and they also have every right to say genderbent art/fic isn’t to their taste or ask people to tag it.
But there’s nothing inherently transphobic about art that explores gender - quite the opposite, I think - and that’s what genderbends are about. It can be hugely beneficial to imagine male characters as female in order to explore roles that aren’t traditionally given to women (I would really love to see a genderbent take on, say, Stacker Pentecost for that exact reason).
All of the above is good shit but I want to add: for young people who are unsure about their own relationship with gender, genderbends are literally a tool to safely explore that. The number of people I know who are trans or nb who used these kind of stories as a way to safely consider some heavy issues is ridiculous. And these fics’ power to help people navigate aspects of their identity is worthwhile and good.
No one springs into creation with a full grasp on how to tackle the complicated tangle that is personal identity and we need to stop taking away stepping stones and tools that people can use. It does not help anyone and in fact removes safe arenas of thought and expression.
Stop stop stop stoppppp dissolving everything down it Good or Bad and recognize that different people need different forms of expression, and leave them alone.
I’m????
Oh my God this actually explains so much.
So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.
So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.
So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.
This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.
So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.
The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.
The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend.
y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves
Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack
Gift it to the goth girl to win her heart.
Stole a mermaid's actual fucking heart oh my God
I don't think I've seen anyone talk about this at all on Tumblr, which is very lax of us all, so I suppose I shall do it myself.
Last week Elon Musk broke European law so badly that the lawyers who will finally put the case to rest have yet to be born.
I'm not exaggerating. Here's the thing: America has terrible data privacy laws. A solid technique for an American website owner in times of financial hardship, such as accidentally buying a loss-leading debt-ridden social media platform to avoid going to gaol, is to take all the data harvested from users and to sell it to third parties for lots of money. It is fun and breezy and lets you pay off at least one lawyer for the month. What a lark.
However, the European Union has an even more fun and breezy law called GDPR.
And the thing is, the EU really, really care about GDPR. Like... they really care. This is not one of those grey area laws like jaywalking where it's basically ignored unless you do it in front of a police officer who is having a midlife crisis because his wife left him and the dishes are piling up and he's down to his third day of wearing the same pants and yesterday a man in the pub laughed at him for getting a football term wrong. This is the sort of law that, if you break it, grey men in grey suits with worryingly little humour will get in touch and unroll terrifyingly long scrolls of legal text and then you are in gaol for the rest of your life. This is a big law. The big one. Big boy law. Do not break.
So, if you're going to be a website owner in times of financial hardship who needs some quick money to cover your many billions of dollars of debt who decides to sell the private data you harvested from the user base, the most important thing you absolutely MUST remember is, you can only use the American data, and never the European.
But.
I mean.
Hypothetically.
If someone were to own an American website in times of financial hardship, such as an accidentally bought loss-leading debt-ridden social media platform to avoid going to gaol... but that someone didn't know the difference between American and European law.
Well then. That person would sell the wrong data.
And if that were to happen, on the scale of a global social media platform, with users ranging from the megalomaniacal Uber Rich to literal world governments...
The ensuing court cases would last for decades, as lawyers began the lawsuits at the richest end of the list, and worked their way down.
***
Also he posted a Twitter poll today about whether he should stay in charge of Twitter and he lost lol
living in america, he's not bound by euro laws. Last I checked they outlawed guns damn near. Certainly the kind I get here in Texas. I don't see any British Bobby asking for my loicense.
It's an opinion poll. It's not legally binding. Also, careful what you wish for, he might instate Trump as CEO, just to piss you off.
Gather round, children, gather round.
Many of you are asking how a man who operates a business in the EU could possibly be so blisteringly stupid as to not understand that EU laws apply to that business. Many of you don't understand the sheer absence of braincells necessary for an oversight this staggering. But I'm delighted to say that my lovely assistant Tumblr user cherokeefrank is here to demonstrate for you all