So I have read several people complaining that they can't be expected to know the "unwritten rules" of fandom. So here's what I wish people knew:
Fanfiction is fiction.
Fictional people are not real.
Fictional people do not have rights.
Fictional people cannot be abused.
Reading or writing about something does not mean the desire to do or support it in the real world.
If I find art upsetting/triggering/disgusting/outraging/unpleasant/squicky/distressing/offensive, it is on me not to read it, not the creators and hosts to remove it.
Curate your own experience. The back buttons exist for a reason.
If you don't trust yourself to do that, get someone you trust to do it for you.
Fandom is an adult space. Adults create and own and host fandom spaces. If minors want to participate, then the onus is on them and their parents/guardians/trusted adults to ensure they participate appropriately, not on strange adults to stop being adults.
You often don't know the assault status or mental health status or neurotype or race or nationality or religion or gender or sexuality or age of a creator or consumer, and they do not have to disclose to you to justify their fantasy.
AO3 is not a safe space. It is not intended to be a safe space. Proceed accordingly.
Just because you don't like something or find it offensive doesn't mean it is a "problem" that "has to be dealt with".
Most characters in anime are not white.
There is no onus on you to reblog or share anything.
Everyone makes mistakes in fandom and is less than their best self sometimes.
Persistent pseudonyms encourage long term relationships.
Ship wars are stupid.
Someone else enjoying things does not impact on your own enjoyment of other things.
Tagging and warning is a courtesy, not a requirement. Assume any fic might contain untagged content.
Rating is an imprecise art, not a science.
Don't hassle IP creators.
Most people who are in fandom are hoping to make connections based on a shared passion.
Trying to profit from transformative fanworks puts us all at risk.
No one is obligated to share your head canon or fanon.
Being kind rarely fails to pay off.
It is okay to block and remove people who make your experience unpleasant. You don't have to placate them. (Learn from my mistakes).
Britpicking is a good thing.
You don't have to justify why you like a canon/pairing/trope/kink. Sometimes navel gazing is fun, but you don't have an obligation to explain yourself, especially to strangers. I share the overwhelming desire to refute an unfair accusation, but the people accusing you are rarely doing so in good faith, so you're batting a losing wicket.
I'm not your Mum. (Well, okay, a very few of you can call me Mum or Mom, but if you are one of them you already know who you are ❤️)
If you aren't mature enough to take responsibility for your online experiences, you aren't mature enough to be in fandom spaces.
This.
☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ Although I'm still the Fandom Grannie, and I still love you all, this is a darn good reminder that each of us are responsible for our own fandom experience
