The StarLight Dragon

Just an ADHD, bisexual, bitch

[mtsodie]

dming people is so scary it feels like im walking directly into their bedroom and putting some bullshit on their bed

[thestarlightauthor]

*brings you a dead bird, like a cat that hunts for its person*

[hungry-joe]

Yeah that tracks

[what-even-is-thiss]

Man you could just do stuff back then huh

[stjohnstarling]

Can you even call yourself a con artist if you’re not legally changing your name to avoid false advertising laws?

[thatgirlonstage]

Are you ever typing something that your phone autocapitalizes and you go back and re-type it just to force uncapitalize it. Like no sorry mcdonalds doesn’t deserve that level of respect from me

[thestarlightauthor]

nothing deserves that level of respect, unless it's lore relevant

[p0tat0-g0ddess]

I haven’t platonicposted in a while

[thestarlightauthor]

YES!!!!!

[kaity--did]

The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

[kaity--did]

Penny: We go home, we play the mirror game, we have dessert, we play more games, we have fun deal?

Me: Okay well actually we're going to go home, have dinner, then dessert, then we can play your video game, then tubby then bed

Penny: Okay no tubby, games first, deal?

Me: This is not - what is happening right now?

Penny: Dada?

Dada: Arbitration?

Penny: DEALS!

[kaity--did]

Every single thing in our lives has become a negotiation and it is frankly ridiculous as it is hilarious.

Penny: I want to use bare foot when we go outside

Me: I didn't know we were going outside but you have to wear shoes girl

Penny: okay but what about I use bare foot's but at Penny's house? This deal?

Me: you know what yeah fine if you agree to not fight about shoes when we leave the house you can be barefoot in the back yard, deal.

Penny: -sticks her hand out expectantly- we deal?

I think I just made a verbal contract with a 4 year old.

[bedpsyching]

[armz911]

Gotta get to 99k NOW AND FAST

[thestarlightauthor]

[darillium-night]

Update from the man himself

The Porn Guy aka The Nice Guy aka The Canadian side of Pornhub aka SFW Pornhub’s REAL NAME is Ryan Creamer. No joke, that is legit his real name.

Also this.

Which led him to this.

Bless this man.

[the-nightman783]

[lynati]

I can appreciate him and the service he’s providing independently of the shitshow that is the platform he’s hosted on.

[fly-chicken]

He remains just as funny and weird on other platforms dw

[fly-chicken]

By the way, the topic he was presenting was

‘Can I get an Honorary Degree if I Just Ask Really Nicely’

[deramin2]

He’s now a co-executive director and writer on Game Changer and other Dropout TV shows. Which means that if we keep hyping this brilliantly original gameshow to a wider audience, it is entirely possible that his eulogy will include both the words “Pornhub” and “Emmy.” And that he’s brought a tremendous kindness and mutualistic care for others to both porn and gameshows that are often missing extremely comforting.

[thestarlightauthor]

I love him

[misterbrick42]

hey guys i made the tumblr default pfps but they're looking directly at you

[thestarlightauthor]

put. them. back

[thestarlightauthor]

ya know what, it's now my mission to either annoy or seduce @satan-offical, whichever happens first

[satan-offical]

🏺

<3

*smashes vase* AHAHAHA

[thestarlightauthor]

*carefully puts the vase back together using bandaids like they are duck tape* there we go, all better

[satan-offical]

you sound very short like teenu tiny. satan. are you, co-ruler of hell and all the damned, tiny?

i don't have anything agaisnt tiny people love them actually they're just so cute i can never take them seriously

I am NOT THE CO-RULER. i AM THE RULER! so mean

[thestarlightauthor]

c-can I be the co-ruler?

[pukicho]

You're so cool, please never get cancer.

I’ll try

[lockhotel]

Cancer beam

[pukicho]

I'm sorry anon

[thestarlightauthor]

cancer curing beam

[rlyehtaxidermist]

for sale: worn baby, never shoed

[thestarlightauthor]

nnnoooooOOOOOOO

[satan-offical]

I'm using a grape to type this

[lovesymbolgirlie-deactivated202]

shes telling the truth guys. I have cameras in hell

[satan-offical]

Oh

[thestarlightauthor]

wait, are you the one who moved my cameras to add your own?

[itsapmseymour]

Hey whoever is out on the streets of NY serving rn,

I need you to go inside

It is 90 degrees out, you’re making it too hot.

[thestarlightauthor]

hey! I can't tell my girlfriend what to do!

[bonyassfish]

Speaking as a survivor of child sex abuse: the world would be a lot better if yall spent less time talking about the ways in which pedophiles should be punished and more time supporting survivors and preventing abuse

I get it, punishment can feel cathartic. I’ve certainly spent time imagining all the ways in which my own abuser might be punished. But ultimately, him dying, or being jailed, or publicly shamed, isn’t actually going to help me nor will it stop more kids from getting hurt in the future.

I don’t want more prisoners. I want free therapy with trauma informed counselors. I want better sex education for young children that teaches them about consent and body autonomy. And I want a society in which I can openly discuss my trauma, or at least as openly as yall discuss the evils of pedophiles

[bellaswansong]

yeah how come we cant even mention how we were hurt but y'all can bring up pedophilia anytime you want in front of us for no greater purpose than virtue signalling? thus reminding us of what happened daily while we are just trying to vibe. thus compounding the harm we went through. food for thought

[thestarlightauthor]

the predators need to be punished. HOWEVER it is fR more important to help the people that survive it

[the-bar-sinister]

Remember when I told ya'll last month to be ready to start looking for a Discord alternative?

Yeah things aren't looking good for discord.

[the-bar-sinister]

#what is the alternative anyway

If you want a direct alternative there's Revolt, which is a free, open source discord clone.

Revolt is the chat app that's truly built with you in mind.

[the-bar-sinister]

Oh...

It's even worse than I thought.

[darker-than-darkstorm]

Time to go back to IRC.

[howtoimpersonateanadult]

I recommend Element; it's very similar to Discord and has basically the same features but it's privacy-focused and both servers and DMs can both be encrypted so only the actual users of those rooms can read the messages.

This means unlike most popular chat apps, including and especially Discord, Element doesn't sell your conversations or tracking data to advertisers, because the company literally doesn't have access to that data in the first place.

I've used it for years and I think it's a natural fit for Discord users.

[give-grian-rights]

sighs. saves for later

[thestarlightauthor]

welp