Hi. So I want to write something for Valko, I just want to know if it's worth it or not. I have the vision of what I want, but I don't know exactly how I'm going to do it. Anyways, this is the prologue, hope y'all like it, and let me know if y'all want the rest.
Genre: Strangers to lovers, fluff, hurt no comfort.
Author's note: Like I said, I have the general idea, but I want to see where I can go with this. I have other fanfic ready, but that one is about Caleb, so if y'all like this one, I will post the other one.
________________________________________________________________
For the past few months, Iโd been lost, stuck in an endless limbo that had become my life. Each step I took felt like stepping on nothing, as the floor didnโt exist under me. My arms felt empty without him to hold, and my lips felt empty without his to kiss. No amount of words could take me out of this emptiness that my life had turned into. He was taken too soon, too quickly. I couldnโt say goodbye.
Nothing made sense anymore. Why did they take him from me? He never did anything wrong; he was just him. Never tried to hurt anyone, never got in the way of anyone, he just loved me, with everything he had. Was it my fault? Maybe I was too loud about how I loved him? Maybe I wasnโt loud enough? I should have loved him harder, prayed harder, kissed him with more passion.
Or maybe, maybe we werenโt meant for each other, maybe some force decided to take him away from me, because he wasnโt mine to begin with, maybe he was never mine, maybeโฆ I wasnโt his. Maybe Iโm meant to be with someone else, but I donโt want someone else; I want my Valko. I want myโฆ Myโฆ He wasnโt mine anymore, he didnโt belong to anyone, heโs not real anymore, heโs gone. He didnโt exist.
But his smell did; I felt it every time I picked up one of his boxes, full of his clothes that we never got to hang. His hair did; I saw it on his brush. He never cleaned his brushes. His hobbies did; I saw it every time I turned on one of his stupid video games and saw what he was playing, those stupid games. I made too much of a fuss over them; they seem so trivial now. His strength was still here with me, even though I couldnโt feel it; I still remembered how strong he was. His sweater was still left on the same spot on the same couch where we slept when we first moved in. His socks spilled on the bathroom floor, something I fought with him about all the time. โValko, you forgot your socks again, next time I will throw them in the trash.โ Now I didnโt dare to take them off the floor. Itโs proof that he was real; it proves that this house belongs to him.
I repeated his name again and again, I called for him, I prayed so the skies would bring him back to me. On my knees, day and night, praying and begging. โValko, please come home, I will love you right this time, come home.โ I kept praying, but no one was listening. Did God enjoy this? Did He like to watch me suffer? Or maybe no one was upstairs. I was never religious in the first place. Should I have started believing it then?
What was I saying? Valko wouldnโt have wanted this; he would have liked for me to move on, right? Yeah, I should get this house ready. I should paint it. We never even got the chance to do so. Maybe I should paint the living room for a start. He would want that. โMake this house our home,โ he used to repeat. Iโm just going to paint the living room, and after that, I will be a little happier. And after that? What should I do? We spent so much time planning the paint color that we barely planned anything else. Well, I was the one who kept being indecisive about the paint; Valko was just very patient with me and allowed me to take the time I needed. And that time wasnโt enough.
It was never enough, was it? Our time? We thought we had time enough, we had time to spend, time to lose. We thought we were smarter than time, but we werenโt. For a day, one day we felt time stop, and we didnโt understand why. Everything felt rushed and slow at the same time. Things went either perfectly or disastrously. Our plans worked or became a complete failure. We planned, but time ruined it. Perfect timing is all we need, but do any of us know when and how to find that? Was the perfect timing when we met? Maybe it was. I mean, both of us were doing fine in our lives, so why didnโt we start there? Maybe it wasnโt the perfect timing then. So, was it when he appeared at my door, when his car magically broke down in my neighborhood, and I invited him in? Someone would say that it wasโthat that was the perfect moment. Then why did I hesitate? Because I had time to lose, time to waste. What a fucking joke.
________________________________________________________________
So this is the prologue, again, I don't know if I should complete this. But here it is. Hope you guys enjoy it.
gracieabrams
izzy806
snowghoul
origamiaround
ellievsbear
andulkaphoto
titsay
amandla
